You wait for a transfer update and then two come along at once;
The morning started with an article claiming we are considering a £60m bid for Callum Wilson, if like me you suffered an aneurysm after reading that then it's probably best to stop reading now. The same article suggests we'd fund this bid by selling Gueye, sadly after reading that my heart stopped beating and I was placed on life support. Fortunately doctors whispered to me in my comatose state that the article was by H I T C and I sprung back into life and quite honestly felt a little silly and discharged myself.
Continuing with the theme of Gueye leaving and under the shocking title of 'Mental Delph' Football 365 state that Fabian Delph is a direct replacement for Gueye It was at this point that I suffered a stroke but thankfully having seen the FAST adverts was able to spot the signs and seek help before my brain completely shut down, I discharged myself again.
The boot room say that reports of a bid for Moise Kean are inaccurate and that no formal offer has been made despite reports to the contrary. When the player was asked directly about Everton's interest he confirmed that the deal had broken down after visiting a well known Everton forum and seeing an unhealthy number of puns using the words 'Moyes' 'Keane' and 'Moist', none of which he found remotely funny.
Speaking of not being remotely funny, lets continue with a final update regarding a potential outgoing;
Football Insider understands that Everton are willing to let James McCarthy leave if their £10m valuation is met, I initially struggled to understand how such an integral member of the family could be let go and then re-read that we were asking for £10m, for James McCarthy. Sadly at this point I flat lined and Derek Acorah has been kind enough to complete this report for me.
