Summer transfer window 2023

[Tel001]

Blimey, anyone ever listened to an American 'soccer' podcast??

Well I've just been listening to a load of them and now I'm convinced we need to sign midfielders with surnames that end in the letters 'o' or 'a'. Apparently they have...

* 87% pass completion rate.
* Average ball progression per-tackle shot of 3.1.
* Non-shooting turnover rating of AW2.
* 1.1 pass creating actions per non-territorial turnover.
* 106.35 decelerating ejaculations PPG.
* 32 expected goal line emissions MORE than consonant-ended midfielders.

If I can see this why the heck can't Thelwell!!! What's he even doing??

I heard a couple of them the other day.

One was saying how dribbling was invented by black Brazilian players because there used to be a rule that white players could two door them and do anything they wanted to them. So the black Brazilians had to learn how to do tricks etc and then people copied them.

In another they were saying or rather asking if “soccer” is rigged because they (MLS) set it up so that Messi could score the last minute , PENALTY winner on his debut. They showed clips while talking and nobody seemed to realise that the PENALTY they were referring to was actually a 30yard free kick. They then started saying they didn’t know how PENALTIES work and were unsure if the player fouled had to take the kick or if they could ROTATE players to take it .

 

[14_dollars]

2 in by Friday. Gnonto and a striker who plays in England. Can’t say much else but go for Prosecco and not champagne.

 

[Blast_of_Cannock]

I reckon we'll end up with someone decent but completely by accident like when we signed Rom on loan.
Us: Hi, can we have Demba Ba on loan please
Chelsea: No, but you can have Lukaku
Us: He's not really a target but it's late in the window so yeh, okay

Hope you're correct. Can we have Etikite?
PSG: No, but you can have Mbappe.
Us: doesn't fit with our style of play, but, oh, go on then.

 

[Tony’s Carp]

Height is important. We need someone who can alternate on wing and up top - and heught is more ideal. We'll never get what is sensible though.

No what we need to sign is a winger and a player who can play up top not one player who can do a bit of both.

Gnonto’s height doesn’t hamper him in the positions he should be playing. In some respects it helps him.

 

[Tel001]

Never seen a club so content to pile preasure on itself with the striker situation.

I wished Amazon had tied us down to a fly on the wall documentary.

Would have been great , players at training wondering where koeman was as he played golf in Holland during the week. Bobby abolishing defensive and fitness drills, fat Sam counting money, Rafael sabotaging everyone else at the club and bolasie “spitting bars “ while he is in the physio room getting treatment on the wrong knee.
And of course bill, waxing lyrical about how good we used to be 40 years ago

 

[carolinablue232]

….reports suggest Harrison is out for 6 weeks, which would be a daft acquisition replacing an injured player with an injured player.

Everton.

 

[blulouie]

Striker please Kevin if its not too much trouble.

NO RUSH LIKE

 

[MACCA75]

Surprised we havent been linked with Rutter at Leeds, of all the relegated strikers he seems the best and the one with the most potential.

Very clearly isn’t up to it.

 

[Micky_T]

NO RUSH LIKE

He was a decent player, probably 30 years past his prime but I'd still take him.

 

[Davideeyore]

I think we need 2 new forwards.

Romelu and Richie would be nice.

 

[TheNinja]

I think we need 2 new forwards.

Romelu and Richie would be nice.

Or 2 old forwards?

 

[billyblue80]

I reckon we'll end up with someone decent but completely by accident like when we signed Rom on loan.
Us: Hi, can we have Demba Ba on loan please
Chelsea: No, but you can have Lukaku
Us: He's not really a target but it's late in the window so yeh, okay

Broja? At this stage and with time running down, I would take Adams he isn't spectacular but can do the job as a number nine and chip in with goals. Would prefer Beto/Daka but it improves us Maupay will never be able to play that role.

 

[Dwight K Schrute]

Broja? At this stage and with time running down, I would take Adams he isn't spectacular but can do the job as a number nine and chip in with goals. Would prefer Beto/Daka but it improves us Maupay will never be able to play that role.

Don't do it to yourself mate. It's what the club always do; make us celebrate signing absolute dross by making us desperate. We did the same with Maupay.

 

[Dwight K Schrute]

Wow. West Ham are signing Wahi. Always wanted us to get him, if it weren't for his off-field antics. Will be interesting watching Moyes deal with him

Some player though!

 

[Swartzy]

You wouldn’t be the first to say those words.

I am here for peace. My take on Harrison still stands. I’d rather we bought players actually available to play when we sign them. Not by the end of September. We can’t afford to be that speculative in our position.

Good job we didn't buy him then m8.
Hopefully that eases you're take on the lad...