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The drunk thread
- Thread starter chicoazul
- Start date
- Status
SimonB
Player Valuation: £10m
He's busy on the really drunk thread tonight I think.
SimonB
Player Valuation: £10m
I love me all too.
Pretty wasted now tbh
EvertonAmerican
Player Valuation: £950k
Was completely wrecked last night at an MLS match. I wore my Barkley away shirt, naturally, because it's so boss and all.
So I'm standing in the concourse watching the match and some kopite [c-word] starts yelling at me for a good two minutes. I ignore the [c-word] because he's obviously a kopite.
But anyways, he keeps at it, on and on and on. "F you this, F you that." He's standing about five feet behind me. I didn't flinch, I haven't even glanced his way yet. And all of the sudden, my beer magically ends up on his shirt. It was about as dead accurate Leighton Baines' left foot. The guy is drenched in Goose Island 312 and I look over and go "Whoops. My bad, mate." And then walk off to get a refill.
The sneak attack beer toss worked. And I won. Everton won. We all won.
So I'm standing in the concourse watching the match and some kopite [c-word] starts yelling at me for a good two minutes. I ignore the [c-word] because he's obviously a kopite.
But anyways, he keeps at it, on and on and on. "F you this, F you that." He's standing about five feet behind me. I didn't flinch, I haven't even glanced his way yet. And all of the sudden, my beer magically ends up on his shirt. It was about as dead accurate Leighton Baines' left foot. The guy is drenched in Goose Island 312 and I look over and go "Whoops. My bad, mate." And then walk off to get a refill.
The sneak attack beer toss worked. And I won. Everton won. We all won.
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Shipped
Player Valuation: £2.5m
So I went for bevies after work and got back half an hour ago. Check OS for Besic news. Then run round to catch local corner shop for more beer b4 they shut at 10. So I'm in the queue and skinny, drunk, scruff ball Southern United fan walks in with Young (No. 18) on his shirt. He's inspecting milkshakes cos proprietor Asian gent says beer finished 5 mins ago (thank Jesus for ones in my hand). So I call over "Ashley Young really?" He just says "No mate" and joins the Q behind me.
checking in
The Flying Saucer, Austin, Tx. Might skip those morning meetings.
Dozbik
Player Valuation: £8m
This is classic
My mum was talking to me about how difficult it is to come to terms with the two men at home (my dad and myself) because we never do anything and it's a pain in the neck for her to do all the housework and stuff... and then I spotted this press conference and was murmuring a Hungarian poem from a guy who suffered from depression about thinking only about his mother for the previous week, but I rewrote the lyrics with thinking only about Lukaku for the last week, and then I glanced at my mum and she told me with a resigned face: "Never get married."
I was literally crying with laughter.
My mum was talking to me about how difficult it is to come to terms with the two men at home (my dad and myself) because we never do anything and it's a pain in the neck for her to do all the housework and stuff... and then I spotted this press conference and was murmuring a Hungarian poem from a guy who suffered from depression about thinking only about his mother for the previous week, but I rewrote the lyrics with thinking only about Lukaku for the last week, and then I glanced at my mum and she told me with a resigned face: "Never get married."
I was literally crying with laughter.
HuddersfieldToffee
Player Valuation: £10m
Checkin' in.
Got the whiskey out since Lukaku signed.
Got the whiskey out since Lukaku signed.
TrixyStevens
Player Valuation: £35m
Having a few glasses of green spot, here's to you Romelu
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