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USMNT

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oh yeah? well, [insert Americans being obese joke here]

AH HA.

Know who's fatter than us?

Mexico. BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

We're better at footie than them, and they're fatter than us. What a silly country.

(I really do like Mexico, but fate chose them as our rivals, so they're gonna have to deal with me taking potshots at them.)
 
AH HA.

Know who's fatter than us?

Mexico. BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

We're better at footie than them, and they're fatter than us. What a silly country.

(I really do like Mexico, but fate chose them as our rivals, so they're gonna have to deal with me taking potshots at them.)

Go to Mexico and eat. You'll figure it out. Real Mexican food is a gift from God.

That said, dos a cero...
 
U.S. training camp gets real

STANFORD, Calif. -- And now Brazil gets real. As the far-flung diaspora of America's best footballing talents gathered to start World Cup training camp on Thursday, a feeling of "first day at school" abounded around the team hotel. Watching the squad reconnect, check out each others' haircuts, and, in some cases, introduce themselves to each other for the first time, was to be reminded of the ephemeral nature of international football teams. They qualify by coming together in fleeting bursts, practice briefly, play, and then disperse back to their club teams, win or lose.

Except this team will now eat, sleep, train, and relax together for 33 days before they grapple with their next opponents at the 2014 World Cup. As the players unpacked and settled in, their hotel rooms may have been in California, but Natal, Brazil -- where the team face Ghana on June 16 -- was very much front of mind.

All of the players arrived dreaming of that trip to Brazil. Thirty men reported to camp, including a veritable "Chorus Line" of defenders. By June 2, 23 will remain. Jurgen Klinsmann told us he was not sure when those cuts would be made, but the uncertainty of their looming presence has given the first two weeks of camp a dual, almost oxymoronic, tension. This is a squad attempting to forge an unshakable esprit de corps while the individual players are competing desperately to earn their final ticket.

That tone was set on the very first day. Klinsmann has declared his players will face a month of "extreme, intense workouts" in which they will "show they can go through two months of stress, of suffering, of sacrificing" in an alpha-regime of "two-a-day" practices.

"I don't know if it's one or two or three levels, but I think we have to jump a few levels, in their personal game, our collective game, and the speed of our play, and the speed of thought, and the technical discipline and the way they can keep focus and stamina through 90 minutes," he told us. "We definitely have to go two to three levels above what they are right now."

And so, the U.S. players, some just a half-hour off long-haul flights from Europe, took to the field for their first practice, with temperatures topping 95 degrees (a full ten degrees hotter than Manaus) -- the kind of heat Jozy Altidore would not have encountered in Sunderland, nor Mix Diskerud in Norway’s Tippeligaen.

In front of a billboard with a good luck message from Stanford alumnus and current Indianapolis Colts quarterback, Andrew Luck which read ("Proud to Have You Boys at Stanford"), they cantered through a two-hour sweat-soaked workout, ending with a scrimmage in which tackles snapped, every call was contested, and the competition was, at times, ferocious.

The twin values of unity and competition crackled into life in Friday's grueling "beep test" -- an endurance trial in which the players attempt to shuttle backwards and forwards between cones at an ever faster tempo dictated by an unforgiving machine. Ten at a time they charged to and fro, covering up to 3,600 meters in 15 minutes.

Alejandro Bedoya described the ordeal with the touch of a poet: "Your legs go first, then your lungs constrict, and you spit up in vain after every lap but you keep your eyes on your competitors and that keeps you going," he said. "I kept telling myself, this is for the team, this is for my family, this is for Brazil, this is for Ghana."

As the test progressed, and the pace increased, the players began to desperately suck in air, shirts puddled in sweat, their faces masks of agony. One by one they reached their limit, legs going, they keeled over, and coaches swooped in to dispense the comfort of an iced towel.

I asked Chris Wondolowski if the test is the closest males come to experiencing the pain of childbirth. Though worn down by the trial, he still conjured the energy to smile. "I recently witnessed my wife in the maternity room, and I would not say it compares to that," he said thoughtfully, "but it is plenty painful."

It was while watching the elite athletes grind themselves to their core that the true nature of the squad revealed itself. Every time 10 players embarked on the 10 shuttled-between cones, their teammates clung to the sideline, bellowing their encouragement to will on men who in many cases are direct competitors for a place on the final 23.

Michael Bradley monitored proceedings with a careful eye. As he later told us, "This will be a World Cup where teams that do well will suffer. We want to be the team that can suffer the most."
 

Wish they were training in New Orleans or Miami...or anywhere hot and humid.
Thought the same thing at first, but it makes sense why they're not. They're training at Stanford so they can go multiple times a day. Klinsy can push the players more in the Northern Cal climate than he could in Miami. Use Stanford to get fitness as high as possible, then use the last week or so to adapt to the type of climate they'll see in Brazil.
 
Thought the same thing at first, but it makes sense why they're not. They're training at Stanford so they can go multiple times a day. Klinsy can push the players more in the Northern Cal climate than he could in Miami. Use Stanford to get fitness as high as possible, then use the last week or so to adapt to the type of climate they'll see in Brazil.

Valid point about the multiple training sessions.
 
U.S. Camp Notebook: Klinsmann lauds Howard's heroics


STANFORD, Calif. -- U.S. manager Jurgen Klinsmann has a lot on his mind these days.

With the pre-World Cup camp now entering its second week, there are roster spots to be evaluated and positional battles to be sorted out. In fact, Klinsmann said Wednesday that he still hadn’t decided when he would name his final 23-man World Cup roster.

But one spot on the field where Klinsmann seems set is in goal, where Everton goalkeeper Tim Howard is poised to backstop the U.S. for the second consecutive World Cup. In fact, there aren’t many goalkeepers worldwide whom Klinsmann would take over Howard.

“I think [Howard] was absolutely in the top three in the Premier League this year,” he said. “I look at him in the top five in the world.”

Earlier, Klinsmann said, “I think there is something special waiting for Tim [at the World Cup]. Hopefully he makes that his special moment.”

It would be easy to pass off Klinsmann’s comments as a mere boast, a case where a coach is doing everything possible to burnish his player’s reputation. But Howard’s performances for Everton last season were such that there is a bit more substance behind the words than one might initially suspect. According to ESPN Stats & Information, Howard ranked third in the EPL this season in three categories: shutouts with 15, save percentage with a mark of .771 and expected goals allowed, a measure of how many goals Howard should have let in based on the shots he faced. His 33 goals allowed were 2.7 fewer than expected.

And at 35, Howard looks to be entering his peak, where his body can still perform at a level that allows him to make the most of his accumulated experience. Given the lack of World Cup experience the U.S. has in the back, that will be critical if the U.S. is to somehow navigate its way past Group G opponents Ghana, Portugal and Germany.

“[Howard’s] leadership is very demanding,” said Klinsmann. “We need a Tim Howard that gives the confidence. We need a very vocal Tim Howard. That’s what he’s doing. It’s fun to watch. He’s looking over their shoulders and gives them the advice, not just on the field when we train, but when we hang out in the cafeteria or as a group together.”

Howard’s longevity is impressive as well. All told, he’s made more than 426 total appearances in his career, 341 of which have come with Everton.

“I’ll take days off when I retire,” Howard told reporters Monday. “I always want to play every game. It’s important. I don’t think you can turn it off and on. When you get in rhythm, you get confidence, you feel good. You want to keep that going.”

Camp notebook

• With Jermaine Jones’ arrival on Tuesday night, Klinsmann has all 30 players at his disposal for the first time.

• Aron Johannsson has been in camp for a couple of days now, but he’s easing into things gradually. An ankle injury that plagued him during the latter stages of the league season in the Netherlands is almost completely healed. In last weekend’s Europa League playoff defeat to Groningen, Johannsson went the full 90 minutes for the first time in four matches.

“[The ankle] is good now,” he said. “Today or tomorrow I can train 100 percent with the team.”

• The U.S. team played a pair of 60-minute scrimmages on Tuesday against the reserve team of the L.A. Galaxy. Details were sporadic and no scores were given, although forward Terrence Boyd let slip that he scored in his match. Even then, he would state only “It was all right. It was cool.”

Another detail to emerge was that Fabian Johnson played right back. Johnson spent the vast majority of the calendar year playing that position for club side Hoffenheim, but given the glut of right backs in camp, it was thought that Johnson would slot into left back. Time will tell if Johnson remains at right back or moves to the opposite flank.

• Defender DaMarcus Beasley clarified his club situation on Wednesday. With his contract with Liga MX outfit Puebla now expired, Beasley confirmed that he was looking to leave the club, but contrary to published reports, he had not been contacted by any MLS clubs.

“I don’t know where that’s coming from,” Beasley said with respect to the MLS rumors. “It’s true I am looking to leave Puebla. But I haven’t been contacted by any other club or any other team. My objective is to make this team. I’m not worried about what my future is right now with my club situation.”

• U.S. players have had a chance to walk around the Stanford campus in their spare time, especially when they visit some of the dining areas. Boyd indicated there hadn’t been much interaction with students though.

“It’s so random,” he said. “I feel like I’m in a high school movie. You’re just standing there with your food and it’s like, ‘Hey, is there some space? Cool.’ But it’s pretty chill. Everyone is nice up there.”
 
Top 5 in the world...high praise

Not sure I'm buying it like...he did have a damn good year though. People forget Howard's role in that late game winner against Algeria in 2010...it was his pinpoint throw that got the whole thing started.
 

23 man roster announced. Shocker - no Landon Donovan.

1532023_10152341017093941_7497240197832943140_n.png


But we do have a Mix.
 
The cuts: Brad Evans, Clarence Goodson, Michael Parkhurst, Joe Corona, Maurice Edu, Terrence Boyd, and LANDON DONOVAN.

You got some balls of steel, Jürgen.
 
Haven't been following the MLS, but he didn't look particularly fit against Mexico in the recent match.

I imagine Jurgen has a far better handle on the pulse and shape of players than us armchair gaffers do.
 
Haven't been following the MLS, but he didn't look particularly fit against Mexico in the recent match.

I imagine Jurgen has a far better handle on the pulse and shape of players than us armchair gaffers do.
He could have a broken leg and he'd still be better and more usefull than Jozy altidore
 

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