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Transfer Rumour Wayne Rooney

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Edit - Oh yeah...Rooney.

So its still on right?
 

Dear Wayne,

In this crazy world we live in, someone you've never heard of or will probably never meet, feels, as an Everton fan, that its ok to write to you on an internet page to say welcome back. But here I am, and there you are, somewhere, preparing for the Finch Farm treadmill and cone game today.

But I'm writing this with real meaning when I say welcome, because you are now back at a club that is different, and a club where the fans genuinely care about their team. Now I'm quite sure every fan of any team would say that, but at Everton, you're not just a player, you a Everton player and that means you're part of our family (again). You may even say once you're a blue, you'll always be a blue. You're once again one of us, and you are now welcomed back to the family like the prodigal son (you're welcome round for tea anytime mate, my Nan is dead though).

Welcome back to a bond with a set of fans that will not just sing your name, but look out for you, welcome to a ground where the feeling is different, a sense of history, family and warmth, of times shared and where the outside world and press are invited in but never truly part of it, welcome to a place, a sense of place, a culture that sets us apart from the rest of them.

I was here at your beginning, when I knew of your upbringing. It must be very odd to have your everyday shared with millions, your history available for analysis and comment by strangers, and then to be called 'turncoat' by these people when you were just a kid and kissed the badge of a rival rather than mourning the passing of an Everton Great. They are the turncoats, they are the ones who think its ok to slag off other people's choices as if they'd turn down the pieces of silver, as if they are professional child pyschologists, mind readers and judges of character. Not you.

Well, welcome back to a club that sets apart from that world. Everton is a club that does it differently, where the emotions are heartfelt not invented, the flags are fabric not plastic and the noise deafeningly sincere.

Everton's great players have all been special, and different and gifted and marvellous to watch, and all of them acknowledge the club has a special place in their hearts. You were brilliant at your job, wonderful to watch, and you arriving here has made a lot of people jerk their knees. You have the gift of creating emotion in men's hearts, that's the real meaning of football, and I hope I speak for all Everton fans when I say, even though you could have had the best time of your life here, had a great career and score lots of goals sure, but really, truly, have a great life whilst at our club, instead you're left hoping for a swansong at your twilight, and we can't turn you down only because you're still better than Kone and Valencia.

So in some ways, Wayne, welcome home.
 

Wayne's so pretty
Wayne's so nice
I'll fetch you a drink with ice and a slice

Wait, Wayne's left the city
He's on the East Lancs
Now everyone thinks that he excessively w@nks
Wayne's so 5hitty
Wayne's not nice
I hope your new hair do gets covered in lice

Waynes coming back
I know he acted a fadge
But Cut him some slack
He was only a kid when he kissed on their badge
Welcome back Wayne
We've been waiting for you
And if you turn out sh1t
At least we'll have someone to boo
 
[Poor language removed] him i say
 

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Martial, Mata or even Luke Shaw (to cover for Baines) would all have been great buys and according to reports we sell them lukaku and take Rooney instead. I think I'll avoid some united supporting mates for a while if that happens.
 

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