Worst person you've slept with

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Not slept with but a few years back got a blowjob from some bird in ibiza, was hammered at the time so never noticed she smoked other wise i wouldnt have bothered but woke up the next day and my nob smelt like an ashtray, no matter how much i showered the smell stayed on me for a few days. Havent given any bird that smokes the time of day since and never will.
 
sageyefc said:
Not slept with but a few years back got a blowjob from some bird in ibiza, was hammered at the time so never noticed she smoked other wise i wouldnt have bothered but woke up the next day and my nob smelt like an ashtray, no matter how much i showered the smell stayed on me for a few days. Havent given any bird that smokes the time of day since and never will.
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Kin 'ell. What was she smoking ffs?
 

BiggyRat said:
Uncle Rolf tied me Kangaroo down once for sport, and then he whipped out Jake the peg, with his extra leg...not a good night.
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Could have been worse......

Jim-will-fix-it2.jpg
 
A Welsh bird in Thailand. Pulled her for a laugh at a beach party and she would not leave me alone afterwards. Went back to the hut I was staying at with her but told her to wait outside while I grabbed something quick, then closed the door on her and got into bed.
After about an hour she was still outside and I started to feel a bit bad so went out to tell her that she wasn't coming in (keep in mind I'm now just in my boxers) but her hotel was on a different part of the island, so me being the nice chap I was decided to walk her back.

About 3/4 of the way I threw a tantrum (honest to god sat on the floor flapping my arms around) because I just realised I'm still in my pants and nothing else. She talked me round to staying at her place and I thought why not Ive come this far may as well get a rub out of it.

Next morning after waking up next to the grim reaper I did the 45minute walk back just in my white pants without realising there was a brown dirt stain on my arse from where I sat down on the floor.
 
Didn't shag, didn't even have any sort of sexiness, but I pulled some bird in the Blue Angel one time, and her version of kissing was to quite literally occupy my whole mouth with her tongue. I couldn't actually reach her lips to kiss them for this big mass filling my gob.
 

Pulled someone 'fit' in town one time, took her back, and as i began to sober up, literally in the taxi home, i started to notice that she wasn't actually a looker, more this hairy cretin, who literally put me to shame in the facial area department, thought i may aswell go through with it, i've gotten this far, so dropped her kecks to what i can only describe as the equivalent of someone pouring a way a full pint of water, was what dropped from her gaping lady passage, kept on thinking, "it's okay, may still get a gobble, it's fine", and when it finally got round to it, she just took a major big bite into my knob, and i just went mad, and kicked her out :lol:, got a text in the morning.... "Left my pants in yours, can i have them back"

Christ. Being single was shocking.
 

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