D
Deleted member 28206
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Now excuse me whilst I go wash my soul.
Worst person you've slept with
- Thread starter chicoazul
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RFUS
Anustart
Thanks xx
Muggins
Player Valuation: £60m
Did she order a Whopper Bry'?
Cock.
PIGS in blanket!!!!
scratchnsurf
Player Valuation: £40m
What's not to like here?
First lads holiday back in the day, in Benidorm and it was full of fellas to say the least. Anyway some Geordie girl stalked me one night, if she was like a character from the hit tv show Auf Weidersein Pet I'd say she was like Pat " Bomber " Roach
Anyway, drunk as a skunk I go back to her apartment. I say " I've got a condom " she says " You don't have to use it, but just remember the baby is half yours " I was a young lad and wanted to pump my bits into this beast so ignored the crazy signs. Anyway I wore a rubber and done the deed and made some excuse and left.
Two day later into the holiday, she left a note under the door of my apartment of how I was a [Poor language removed] standing her up the night before etc etc. WTF I did not remember letting her know what apartment I was in.
A few nights later, I'm on the dance floor with some other bird when she comes stomping up pushing this girl away from me screaming " That's my fella "
She cock blocked me good style. I'd like to say this was the end of the story but my urges to spew manfat over someone's grid got the better of me. I brought this girl back to my apartment and she was telling me that she had told her parents and they could not wait to see me.
Done the deed and went asleep but a few hours later 2 of my mates come back into the bedroom laughing and starting reading the letter she left in a geordie accent. She was saying something to me to try and stop them but I was pissing myself laughing. She stormed off. It was only the next morning I'd noticed she had used my towel to wipe her arse.
Saw her once more that holiday, she was trying to get a load of Geordie lads to beat me up.
Anyway, drunk as a skunk I go back to her apartment. I say " I've got a condom " she says " You don't have to use it, but just remember the baby is half yours " I was a young lad and wanted to pump my bits into this beast so ignored the crazy signs. Anyway I wore a rubber and done the deed and made some excuse and left.
Two day later into the holiday, she left a note under the door of my apartment of how I was a [Poor language removed] standing her up the night before etc etc. WTF I did not remember letting her know what apartment I was in.
A few nights later, I'm on the dance floor with some other bird when she comes stomping up pushing this girl away from me screaming " That's my fella "
She cock blocked me good style. I'd like to say this was the end of the story but my urges to spew manfat over someone's grid got the better of me. I brought this girl back to my apartment and she was telling me that she had told her parents and they could not wait to see me.
Done the deed and went asleep but a few hours later 2 of my mates come back into the bedroom laughing and starting reading the letter she left in a geordie accent. She was saying something to me to try and stop them but I was pissing myself laughing. She stormed off. It was only the next morning I'd noticed she had used my towel to wipe her arse.
Saw her once more that holiday, she was trying to get a load of Geordie lads to beat me up.
Did you use the tears as lube.
Fresh Prince of Belle Val
Player Valuation: £35m
I got a text off some Geordie who was living in old swan. Asking for me to come round. I didn't have a clue who she was but after some pics discovered she was Infact female. So thought what the heck and went round. When I got there, not only did I not have a clue who she was but she was a big fat horror in a Newcastle away top.
Obviously being a top lad I went through with the horrible deed and made my excuses and left(ran). A couple of weeks later my mate asked me if I had ever had a text from some horrible Geordie he gave my number to. I just said no still feeling sick from what I had done. Personal highlight was walking into a takeaway so I could wash my cock, and saw hundreds of dead chickens lying on a filthy floor in the bog.
Obviously being a top lad I went through with the horrible deed and made my excuses and left(ran). A couple of weeks later my mate asked me if I had ever had a text from some horrible Geordie he gave my number to. I just said no still feeling sick from what I had done. Personal highlight was walking into a takeaway so I could wash my cock, and saw hundreds of dead chickens lying on a filthy floor in the bog.
EFCNIK
Banned
Couple of weeks ago probs. Brought some bird back (not attractive) and smashed her. She was horrendous, not in a bad shag kind of way, just utter filth. She actually wanted me to full on beat her. I couldn't do it. I slapped her once round the face like HARD which seemed to get her off. Couldn't do it again, I am a gentle soul.
Foot Long Hot Dog
Player Valuation: A packet of pork scratchings
If you'd have full on punched her in the grid you'd be in Ched Evans old bed now lad.
EFCNIK
Banned
That was out of the question. I don't get the whole S+M thing. Not for me.
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