Worst person you've slept with

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Once pulled a lovely lady from Salford, she had this need to talk dirty but a mixture of her frankly comical accent and ineptness at this art form made for one of the least erotic experiences of my life.

She kept saying stuff like 'd'jer like mah pooseh?" "d'jer wannaeat mah pooseh".

Horrific.
 

quasi modo said:
Pulled a bird a few years ago, and ended up going on a few dates and all that lark.
One weekend I booked a hotel for us after a night out, it was boss in the night, everything was great and we did the deed.
It was the following morning waking up with the horn, so one thing lead to another and we were at it again, it was only after turning her over and doing her dogging that I kept getting a whiff of poo!!!
She'd only had a dump when I was a sleep and thats all could now smell, I just stopped dead and said I think I'm going to be sick.
Ended up getting dressed sharpish and made a swift exit.
Never spoke to her again after that.

Shallow I know but that smell will stay with me forever.
Click to expand...

She'd had a dump in the bed? Or done it in the toilet while you slept and not wiped properly?

Nothing kills the mood quite like swamp ass.
 

Not the worst, but definitely not the brightest. It was early May in 2002 one of my mates had gone through a bad break up so four of us went on a week holiday to Gran Canary's. We went with 2twentys and our apartment was full of girls working for Thomas cook to try and test the hotel. I counted the girls at the pool and it was in the region of 40 with about 5 blokes.

It was a miracle, God had decided for my knob to be made shiny bright by southern travel agents girls.

First night out was a couch trip to a school disco. The two girl reps introduced themselves and told the couch about these girls from Essex who had a points system about the amount of lads they could pull. I was like a rat up a drain pipe and walked over to them kissing them on the hand to introduce myself.

Long story short I bummed one of the girls that night and she decided to tell the rep. Next day at paintballing it was announced this girl got maximum points and I was the giver.

Every night from then I would hit it off with a girl, and her mate would end up running up and going " He's that lad who bummed that slag "

I just got smashed for the rest of that holiday.
 

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