Worst person you've slept with

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quasi modo said:
Pulled a bird a few years ago, and ended up going on a few dates and all that lark.
One weekend I booked a hotel for us after a night out, it was boss in the night, everything was great and we did the deed.
It was the following morning waking up with the horn, so one thing lead to another and we were at it again, it was only after turning her over and doing her dogging that I kept getting a whiff of poo!!!
She'd only had a dump when I was a sleep and thats all could now smell, I just stopped dead and said I think I'm going to be sick.
Ended up getting dressed sharpish and made a swift exit.
Never spoke to her again after that.

Shallow I know but that smell will stay with me forever.
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reminds me of a tale a young girl in work told,she got off with a lad in the pub,now she's a good looking girl, early twenties,stayed the night,he had to get up early for work so told her to let herself out and he took her phone number.She got up and had a dump but it wouldn't flush and blocked his loo.so she found a tesco bag and decided to take it with her,got distracted and on her way out closed the door shut,immediately realising she'd left the bag in the kitchen .
He never did ring her.
 
Paul Bernard said:
As some of these bigger women dont get alot of attention they seem to be the rudest. They appreciate what little they get, therefore trying to maximise the night of wonderful passion they are engaging in. :D
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My mate used to go for the fat birds first as they were easy/grateful, he pulled some right Rotter's the dirty sod. Some terrible tales from him... Haha
 
Foot Long Hot Dog said:
Hello mate lol
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Iv never pulled a fatty.. Couldn't do it.

Honestly it was my mate called Simon. His chat up line was 'do you like big cock (as he whipped it out in front of them)' they either scream or their eyes lit up, then he knew he was in. He'd take them down to the promenade, leave them covered in jizz and be back in the pub in 15 minutes to find another.. Terrible man.
 

Tramps_mate said:
Iv never pulled a fatty.. Couldn't do it.

Honestly it was my mate called Simon. His chat up line was 'do you like big cock (as he whipped it out in front of them)' they either scream or their eyes lit up, then he knew he was in. He'd take them down to the promenade, leave them covered in jizz and be back in the pub in 15 minutes to find another.. Terrible man.
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Was it mates with Jimmy Saville?
 
Tramps_mate said:
My mate used to go for the fat birds first as they were easy/grateful, he pulled some right Rotter's the dirty sod. Some terrible tales from him... Haha
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Should send him the link for this thread, im interested to hear some belated halloween horror stories !
 
mikeh72 said:
Fingered a bird in Kavos and lost a plaster up there. The thought that it will have come out hanging off the end of some other guy's knob makes me giggle regularly to this day
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For me it was my ex's best mate. Lovely girl but tended to sleep around despiter her being a little bit more classy than most girls.

Scary part was, after a long story behind it, taking her home on another occasion and finding out she had her toothbrush and that with her so she was planning on going home with someone else that night.
 

Mates Mrs (he's a Utd fan) announced to us 1 day that she'd had a Footballer who was an International that had played in the World Cup, had us trying to guess him & failing the n proudly threw his name at us.


When she announced him there was Limbs in her front room & the pair of us had stitches, were hyperventilating and nearly throwing up as we were laughing so much.......

http://footballpinkdotnet.files.wordpress.com/2013/10/aldo.jpg?w=470
 
Reidy's Bottle Of Grecian said:
Mates Mrs (he's a Utd fan) announced to us 1 day that she'd had a Footballer who was an International that had played in the World Cup, had us trying to guess him & failing the n proudly threw his name at us.


When she announced him there was Limbs in her front room & the pair of us had stitches, were hyperventilating and nearly throwing up as we were laughing so much.......

http://footballpinkdotnet.files.wordpress.com/2013/10/aldo.jpg?w=470
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I take it they are no longer married.
 
BlueLlama said:
In fact the worst i did was an utter horror pig when I was on holiday in Isreal. Only did it because she was a Mormon which got extra points. To make it worse she cried in the morning because she had betrayed her faith[/QU Well, that's what she told you ! :)
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Reidy's Bottle Of Grecian said:
Mates Mrs (he's a Utd fan) announced to us 1 day that she'd had a Footballer who was an International that had played in the World Cup, had us trying to guess him & failing the n proudly threw his name at us.


When she announced him there was Limbs in her front room & the pair of us had stitches, were hyperventilating and nearly throwing up as we were laughing so much.......

http://footballpinkdotnet.files.wordpress.com/2013/10/aldo.jpg?w=470
Click to expand...

@Jim Lahey I feel for you son.
 

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