I've done the staypuft marshmallow girl.
Worst person you've slept with
- Thread starter chicoazul
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I've done the staypuft marshmallow girl.
Yeah, my little pony ones...
To be fair, it was just a pair of shorts an a vest top.
thirdmantackle
Player Valuation: £35m
I feel much, much better after reading this thread. In fact, life affirming.
Should be an obligatory read for all GOTers...
Should be an obligatory read for all GOTers...
Seamus Colemole
Previously deathbyropeandglass
I was with this prositute in Bangkok once. We were getting down to it and i put my hand up her skirt and felt the old meat and two veg.
Then i thought, hang on i've paid my money and i'm gonna have something so i flip her over and fu
and funnily enough, it lands on its wheels, and it starts first time and they just drive away.
Then i thought, hang on i've paid my money and i'm gonna have something so i flip her over and fu
and funnily enough, it lands on its wheels, and it starts first time and they just drive away.
scratchnsurf
Player Valuation: £40m
So disappointed there's no white text here.
If you don't get it, you don't get it I'm afraid...
TrixyStevens
Player Valuation: £35m
F'KIN THREAD LAD
ricardobee
Player Valuation: £35m
I once pulled a girl in Swansea. I say girl, she was a mammal at least. She had a pair of strawberries tattooed on one tit with the words "just add cream" written around it in a circle. Class. She's the girl for tequila me.
So I took her back to my digs, but when I got to my bedroom someone else was already in there so I had to take my date into the toilet for some action. I know, I'm a regular Clarke gable. So I was humping her while she's sat on the sink and she decides to put her leg over my shoulder. Next thing you know the whole sink came off the wall. She wasn't what you'd call petite. So she left all embarrassed, and I was left to explain how I broke the bathroom to my landlord.
Just one more place I'm barred from
So I took her back to my digs, but when I got to my bedroom someone else was already in there so I had to take my date into the toilet for some action. I know, I'm a regular Clarke gable. So I was humping her while she's sat on the sink and she decides to put her leg over my shoulder. Next thing you know the whole sink came off the wall. She wasn't what you'd call petite. So she left all embarrassed, and I was left to explain how I broke the bathroom to my landlord.
Just one more place I'm barred from
Sapie88
Hi @Donald Twain
I wanna say partridge?
tommye
Player Valuation: £100m
*blushes
SingBlue
Player Valuation: £1.5m
You should name the takeaway, don't want any of us going in there and getting sick...
SingBlue
Player Valuation: £1.5m
Technically not the worst (she was actually very enjoyable), but up there with the worst experiences. I'd come up to Liverpool one Christmas from London and ended up going straight to some social club where me ma's works do was on. Didn't care, knew a few, so thought I'd get into the ale and see what transpired. I was in my mid-late 20s, and spotted a chick who I figured was 2-3 years older - petite, quite a stunner in her own way. Got chatting to her, boogie on the dancefloor, and end up leaving my bag with my ma to take back to her place, as "I'd pulled". (She was an understanding sort).
Anyway get back to this lass' place and it all starts to unravel. Turns out she thought I was mid-late 30s, and she was late 40s (divorced, no kids, sterilised <--- she felt she had to tell me that bit). Worse still, when she found out who my mother was that was an absolute no no. By this stage the ale had worn off, and she still looked fit, and no way her age, so I'm practically begging her to reconsider. In the end after a few coffees, I said I was leaving and to have a good Xmas and all that.. and as I walked to the door, she, despite her tiny frame, dragged me up the stairs into her bedroom.
This would've been fine, except she had this really irritating yappy little terrier that obviously didn't like me. And she refused to shut the little mutt out and insisted the bedroom door wasn't closed in case it upset him. In full horn mode I'd have agreed to just about anything and so was banging away quite merrily, boring missionary at first but thinking the next few hours were gonna see if she was as pliable as she was ploughable, when the hairy rat obviously mistook her cries for me attacking her and burst into the bedroom, leapt onto the bed and sank it's teeth right into my arse.
Suffice to say that was it, all over just as we'd got started. I swiped the little get off the bed, she got upset and I didn't need telling twice to go. Walk of shame at 6am with a bit of a limp.
Anyway get back to this lass' place and it all starts to unravel. Turns out she thought I was mid-late 30s, and she was late 40s (divorced, no kids, sterilised <--- she felt she had to tell me that bit). Worse still, when she found out who my mother was that was an absolute no no. By this stage the ale had worn off, and she still looked fit, and no way her age, so I'm practically begging her to reconsider. In the end after a few coffees, I said I was leaving and to have a good Xmas and all that.. and as I walked to the door, she, despite her tiny frame, dragged me up the stairs into her bedroom.
This would've been fine, except she had this really irritating yappy little terrier that obviously didn't like me. And she refused to shut the little mutt out and insisted the bedroom door wasn't closed in case it upset him. In full horn mode I'd have agreed to just about anything and so was banging away quite merrily, boring missionary at first but thinking the next few hours were gonna see if she was as pliable as she was ploughable, when the hairy rat obviously mistook her cries for me attacking her and burst into the bedroom, leapt onto the bed and sank it's teeth right into my arse.
Suffice to say that was it, all over just as we'd got started. I swiped the little get off the bed, she got upset and I didn't need telling twice to go. Walk of shame at 6am with a bit of a limp.
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