Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

[Mrtallywacker]

All the very best mate hope you get some good news and in the words of a decent poster on here....
God bless.

Cheers LT, keeping fingers crossed.

 

[Gwladysover]

I regret saying this.

the slice on my stomach near the belly button is really really painful, along with some internal discomfort and suddenly really bad neck pain.

I know there is sort of air trapped in my body so it's most probably that, but literally had 5mins in bed and had to get up as it was that bad.

Hope that you are feeling better and your pain has eased.

 

[andy4efc]

Do I need to have my gaulbladder removed every week?

 

[Gwladysover]

Do I need to have my gaulbladder removed every week?

If that’s what it takes.

 

[jonnyg]

I haven't posted here in a while. I quit my job as a copywriter 3 years ago from the stress, I felt so incompetent and like I had let everyone down.

Everytime a colleague asks me if I'd like to go back, I panic and avoid them. The feeling of "I'm not ready yet" everytime an offer comes up and the guilt of brushing them off is just paralysing.

 

[COYBL25]

I haven't posted here in a while. I quit my job as a copywriter 3 years ago from the stress, I felt so incompetent and like I had let everyone down.

Everytime a colleague asks me if I'd like to go back, I panic and avoid them. The feeling of "I'm not ready yet" everytime an offer comes up and the guilt of brushing them off is just paralysing.

Hi mate,

From what you’ve written there, I’d say that you’re 100% not ready to go back to your old job, if ever.

If the thought of going back is causing you to panic, I’d say that’s a pretty good indicator ?

Surely by now, your ex colleagues must know why you left and what the job was doing to you ?

It sounds to me like they’re just making general conversation, when they‘re asking when you’re coming back, probably because they don’t know what else to say to you.

What have you been doing since you left your job / are you happy doing it ?

 

[Nymzee]

I haven't posted here in a while. I quit my job as a copywriter 3 years ago from the stress, I felt so incompetent and like I had let everyone down.

Everytime a colleague asks me if I'd like to go back, I panic and avoid them. The feeling of "I'm not ready yet" everytime an offer comes up and the guilt of brushing them off is just paralysing.

Do you actually ever want to go back? It doesn’t sound like you do. If you’ve made peace with your past career and are happy in the present and going forwards I’d just tell them no, I’m not going back to that life, it wasn’t for me.

 

[jonnyg]

Was a shut-in for a long time after. It's been better this year, friends have helped get me out abit but today just reminded me where I'm at.
I'm trained as an art director/graphic designer but writing was a dream job and I have trouble letting go. I've been out so long of either profession that I've lost confidence in my abilities.

I know I'm fortunate to not have any pressure from family to go back out there, but it's terrifying to leave this bubble I've been in the last 3 years.

 

[Rita_Poon]

Was a shut-in for a long time after. It's been better this year, friends have helped get me out abit but today just reminded me where I'm at.
I'm trained as an art director/graphic designer but writing was a dream job and I have trouble letting go. I've been out so long of either profession that I've lost confidence in my abilities.

I know I'm fortunate to not have any pressure from family to go back out there, but it's terrifying to leave this bubble I've been in the last 3 years.

What brought the change on or is '3 years' the clue? Trauma manifests itself in different ways.

 

[coollino]

Got in a bit of a weird situation at the Christmas party

a few months ago i mention in here my long term gf were going to split. we didn't, we got things sorted and have been happy since.

at my work Christmas party. a girl who I get on with well when i see her, but i don't see her loads, told me she really liked me and has for a while. i didn't expect it at all and it had never even cross my mind. she is an attorney, pretty good looking and i thought she have higher standards than someone who shaves every two weeks and never irons their clothes but there we go . looking back there were a feww signs maybe, but i genuinely thought we were just like work pals

she said didn't actually know I had a gf of 15 years and a kid, i thought that was a little odd at the time, but thinking about it - i don't really talk about kids and 'the girlfriend' loads as i know how boring it can be for other people, so there was a chance she might not have known. she doesn't seem the vindictive type so i think i do believe her here

we were a bit drunk but i thiiiink i handle it fine. just had a chat and a hug and just got on with our evenings and we ended going in a group to a club, but i was well moody at that point and wanted to go home - so i hardly even spoke to her there other than her calling me boring

I have two issues now

1 - do i tell my girlfriend? we've been very open about when we have been chatted up in the past, and it has happened a fair amount to me as well as her (you could argue she is the better looking one). but I know since we have had a kid, she def sees herself as 'just a mum' at times. she barely looks any different to how she did pre-kid, but i can see where she is coming from regarding to free time, getting dressed in clothes she wants to wear etc. also, most have been on nights out in one way or another - or at least social occasions where we'd probably never see the person again. this time its someone i work with, and i do go for the odd lunch/drink with her as part of a group - so its a bit more personal I guess. but at the same time, there isn't really anything to tell her...maybe

2 - i don't really know to handle it at work. I have a few people i am very close to, and i'd like to talk to them about it but i really, really don't want it getting back to her, as i don't want to look like i'm bragging about it. one of my closest mates is actually kind of her boss-ish too, and i stayed at his that night and didn't say anything. she knew i stayed there and she was telling him how drunk she has, and he told me. i'm not sure if she kind of said that on purpose or not. i've not seen or spoke to her since, I don't know if i should bring it up with her or not. I kind of want to acknowledge it and agree to just carry on as normal, but i don't want her to pretend she can't remember or something and for it to get weird (this is probably more my paranoia since). i'm sure we'll go for lunch as a group soon, and i don't know if i should ignore it and let it blow over. i don't really want to be the first to bring it up too

I've felt pretty anxious about the whole thing since, and it's got way over just the next day or two after drink (I did hope it was more the post alcohol thing, but it's not)

help

 

[Rita_Poon]

Got in a bit of a weird situation at the Christmas party

a few months ago i mention in here my long term gf were going to split. we didn't, we got things sorted and have been happy since.

at my work Christmas party. a girl who I get on with well when i see her, but i don't see her loads, told me she really liked me and has for a while. i didn't expect it at all and it had never even cross my mind. she is an attorney, pretty good looking and i thought she have higher standards than someone who shaves every two weeks and never irons their clothes but there we go . looking back there were a feww signs maybe, but i genuinely thought we were just like work pals

she said didn't actually know I had a gf of 15 years and a kid, i thought that was a little odd at the time, but thinking about it - i don't really talk about kids and 'the girlfriend' loads as i know how boring it can be for other people, so there was a chance she might not have known. she doesn't seem the vindictive type so i think i do believe her here

we were a bit drunk but i thiiiink i handle it fine. just had a chat and a hug and just got on with our evenings and we ended going in a group to a club, but i was well moody at that point and wanted to go home - so i hardly even spoke to her there other than her calling me boring

I have two issues now

1 - do i tell my girlfriend? we've been very open about when we have been chatted up in the past, and it has happened a fair amount to me as well as her (you could argue she is the better looking one). but I know since we have had a kid, she def sees herself as 'just a mum' at times. she barely looks any different to how she did pre-kid, but i can see where she is coming from regarding to free time, getting dressed in clothes she wants to wear etc. also, most have been on nights out in one way or another - or at least social occasions where we'd probably never see the person again. this time its someone i work with, and i do go for the odd lunch/drink with her as part of a group - so its a bit more personal I guess. but at the same time, there isn't really anything to tell her...maybe

2 - i don't really know to handle it at work. I have a few people i am very close to, and i'd like to talk to them about it but i really, really don't want it getting back to her, as i don't want to look like i'm bragging about it. one of my closest mates is actually kind of her boss-ish too, and i stayed at his that night and didn't say anything. she knew i stayed there and she was telling him how drunk she has, and he told me. i'm not sure if she kind of said that on purpose or not. i've not seen or spoke to her since, I don't know if i should bring it up with her or not. I kind of want to acknowledge it and agree to just carry on as normal, but i don't want her to pretend she can't remember or something and for it to get weird (this is probably more my paranoia since). i'm sure we'll go for lunch as a group soon, and i don't know if i should ignore it and let it blow over. i don't really want to be the first to bring it up too

help

I got this far.

No! There isn't a great deal to tell, and what's the point letting her know someone is floating around work with their eye on you. It'll only upset her. In light of some recent heightened stress (the cowboy builder, talking temp separation) why up the ante? - read the rest now.

 

[Goat]

Got in a bit of a weird situation at the Christmas party

a few months ago i mention in here my long term gf were going to split. we didn't, we got things sorted and have been happy since.

at my work Christmas party. a girl who I get on with well when i see her, but i don't see her loads, told me she really liked me and has for a while. i didn't expect it at all and it had never even cross my mind. she is an attorney, pretty good looking and i thought she have higher standards than someone who shaves every two weeks and never irons their clothes but there we go . looking back there were a feww signs maybe, but i genuinely thought we were just like work pals

she said didn't actually know I had a gf of 15 years and a kid, i thought that was a little odd at the time, but thinking about it - i don't really talk about kids and 'the girlfriend' loads as i know how boring it can be for other people, so there was a chance she might not have known. she doesn't seem the vindictive type so i think i do believe her here

we were a bit drunk but i thiiiink i handle it fine. just had a chat and a hug and just got on with our evenings and we ended going in a group to a club, but i was well moody at that point and wanted to go home - so i hardly even spoke to her there other than her calling me boring

I have two issues now

1 - do i tell my girlfriend? we've been very open about when we have been chatted up in the past, and it has happened a fair amount to me as well as her (you could argue she is the better looking one). but I know since we have had a kid, she def sees herself as 'just a mum' at times. she barely looks any different to how she did pre-kid, but i can see where she is coming from regarding to free time, getting dressed in clothes she wants to wear etc. also, most have been on nights out in one way or another - or at least social occasions where we'd probably never see the person again. this time its someone i work with, and i do go for the odd lunch/drink with her as part of a group - so its a bit more personal I guess. but at the same time, there isn't really anything to tell her...maybe

2 - i don't really know to handle it at work. I have a few people i am very close to, and i'd like to talk to them about it but i really, really don't want it getting back to her, as i don't want to look like i'm bragging about it. one of my closest mates is actually kind of her boss-ish too, and i stayed at his that night and didn't say anything. she knew i stayed there and she was telling him how drunk she has, and he told me. i'm not sure if she kind of said that on purpose or not. i've not seen or spoke to her since, I don't know if i should bring it up with her or not. I kind of want to acknowledge it and agree to just carry on as normal, but i don't want her to pretend she can't remember or something and for it to get weird (this is probably more my paranoia since). i'm sure we'll go for lunch as a group soon, and i don't know if i should ignore it and let it blow over. i don't really want to be the first to bring it up too

I've felt pretty anxious about the whole thing since, and it's got way over just the next day or two after drink (I did hope it was more the post alcohol thing, but it's not)

help

God no.

Do not tell your g/f, there is nothing to be gained from telling her and she will just worry.

 

[Rita_Poon]

2. You'll know what she's about next time you 'bump' into her, if she's a bit keen again then she's trouble, if she's cool and there's no drama she's actually alright.

I'd be disinclined to let the work gossips in on anything either, one way ticket to a bad atmosphere. How long have you worked with her? If it's longer than 12 months she knows damn well your taken. So she's made her play and you've stayed true to the boss and kidda. Good for you. Keep shaving every two weeks and wearing unironed clothes and you'll be fine. It's not egg shells, and she'll find someone eventually even if she is into forbidden fruit. Keep your powder dry and your wits about you.

To quote the late great Tony Soprano "I don't crap* where I eat".

 

[Verbal Kint]

Got in a bit of a weird situation at the Christmas party

a few months ago i mention in here my long term gf were going to split. we didn't, we got things sorted and have been happy since.

at my work Christmas party. a girl who I get on with well when i see her, but i don't see her loads, told me she really liked me and has for a while. i didn't expect it at all and it had never even cross my mind. she is an attorney, pretty good looking and i thought she have higher standards than someone who shaves every two weeks and never irons their clothes but there we go . looking back there were a feww signs maybe, but i genuinely thought we were just like work pals

she said didn't actually know I had a gf of 15 years and a kid, i thought that was a little odd at the time, but thinking about it - i don't really talk about kids and 'the girlfriend' loads as i know how boring it can be for other people, so there was a chance she might not have known. she doesn't seem the vindictive type so i think i do believe her here

we were a bit drunk but i thiiiink i handle it fine. just had a chat and a hug and just got on with our evenings and we ended going in a group to a club, but i was well moody at that point and wanted to go home - so i hardly even spoke to her there other than her calling me boring

I have two issues now

1 - do i tell my girlfriend? we've been very open about when we have been chatted up in the past, and it has happened a fair amount to me as well as her (you could argue she is the better looking one). but I know since we have had a kid, she def sees herself as 'just a mum' at times. she barely looks any different to how she did pre-kid, but i can see where she is coming from regarding to free time, getting dressed in clothes she wants to wear etc. also, most have been on nights out in one way or another - or at least social occasions where we'd probably never see the person again. this time its someone i work with, and i do go for the odd lunch/drink with her as part of a group - so its a bit more personal I guess. but at the same time, there isn't really anything to tell her...maybe

2 - i don't really know to handle it at work. I have a few people i am very close to, and i'd like to talk to them about it but i really, really don't want it getting back to her, as i don't want to look like i'm bragging about it. one of my closest mates is actually kind of her boss-ish too, and i stayed at his that night and didn't say anything. she knew i stayed there and she was telling him how drunk she has, and he told me. i'm not sure if she kind of said that on purpose or not. i've not seen or spoke to her since, I don't know if i should bring it up with her or not. I kind of want to acknowledge it and agree to just carry on as normal, but i don't want her to pretend she can't remember or something and for it to get weird (this is probably more my paranoia since). i'm sure we'll go for lunch as a group soon, and i don't know if i should ignore it and let it blow over. i don't really want to be the first to bring it up too

I've felt pretty anxious about the whole thing since, and it's got way over just the next day or two after drink (I did hope it was more the post alcohol thing, but it's not)

help

I'd actually never speak about it again mate, nothing to gain from it. Nothing happened apart from a hug, your partner might lose trust in you. I wouldn't tell a colleague either, idle gossip in offices are dangerous, trust me I know. It will make it very difficult for both of you. My advise skip office nights out for a while.

 

[coollino]

thanks all - yeah i guess its fairly obvious what I should do/not do and you have confirmed it all. Guess that why helps talking about things