Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

[Deleted member 28206]

I wonder if anyone on here can relate to this. I'm in my 30s now but when I was 13 my mother died through cancer. The pain seemed to diminish over time and I always kinda thought I'd got through it and my personality hadn't been affected too much.
Recently I've been reading about PTSD and it seems that this event has shaped almost every aspect of who I am. I'm often withdrawn and apathetic. I don't have nightmares but I avoid making decisions and feel completely detached from reality. I really struggle to envisage any kind of future and as such have real problems in relationships. Sound familiar to anyone?
Going to see the GP this week

Yes mate, my daughters mum lost her mum in front of her when she was a very young child. It took her to mid to late thirties to go to councilling it, its changed her life.

 

[Pienaar's gloves]

I wonder if anyone on here can relate to this. I'm in my 30s now but when I was 13 my mother died through cancer. The pain seemed to diminish over time and I always kinda thought I'd got through it and my personality hadn't been affected too much.
Recently I've been reading about PTSD and it seems that this event has shaped almost every aspect of who I am. I'm often withdrawn and apathetic. I don't have nightmares but I avoid making decisions and feel completely detached from reality. I really struggle to envisage any kind of future and as such have real problems in relationships. Sound familiar to anyone?
Going to see the GP this week

I don't have any similar experience, but I think you're doing the right thing there, good luck mate, I hope it goes well.

 

[kithnou]

I don't have any similar experience, but I think you're doing the right thing there, good luck mate, I hope it goes well.

Agreed. Always the right first step.

 

[The Esk]

I wonder if anyone on here can relate to this. I'm in my 30s now but when I was 13 my mother died through cancer. The pain seemed to diminish over time and I always kinda thought I'd got through it and my personality hadn't been affected too much.
Recently I've been reading about PTSD and it seems that this event has shaped almost every aspect of who I am. I'm often withdrawn and apathetic. I don't have nightmares but I avoid making decisions and feel completely detached from reality. I really struggle to envisage any kind of future and as such have real problems in relationships. Sound familiar to anyone?
Going to see the GP this week

I lost my adopted mum to illness and its very hard.
You try and be strong and survive the days which turn into weeks then years and before you know it you feel guilty for not grieving properly.
Without being patronising you need closure.
You need to believe in yourself my friend and make an effort with other people and before you know it you will have a lot more confidence and be in control of your life.
You have got a future mate you just need to find the right key.
Life is a great gift we only get one so when you get knocked down get back up as fast as you can.
A lot of people are in the same boat and i lost my son when he was only a child it ripped my heart out but my choice was to give up or fight back and be there for my family i could not give up.
Be strong brother you have made a great step in posting on this forum.
You can't control whats gone but you can have a great future.
good luck amigo.

Yes mate, my daughters mum lost her mum in front of her when she was a very young child. It took her to mid to late thirties to go to councilling it, its changed her life.

These posts show how valuable this thread is - people openly discussing tragic events, the consequences, shared experiences and possible solutions.

It's a great credit that you can share such experiences, I hope it helps each of you and the many readers who look into this thread.

 

[Groucho]

These posts show how valuable this thread is - people openly discussing tragic events, the consequences, shared experiences and possible solutions.

It's a great credit that you can share such experiences, I hope it helps each of you and the many readers who look into this thread.

I just want people not to feel isolated.

They may be words on a website, but typing those words and getting a response may just make you feel 'not alone', and act as a springboard for seeking further help.

It's not a sign of weakness to say 'help, I'm struggling'. There's a whole host of people out there (UK or otherwise) who can help.

 

[Durham Toffee]

I just want people not to feel isolated.

They may be words on a website, but typing those words and getting a response may just make you feel 'not alone', and act as a springboard for seeking further help.

It's not a sign of weakness to say 'help, I'm struggling'. There's a whole host of people out there (UK or otherwise) who can help.

It took me a while to ask for help. Nobody knew...literally nobody. I wasn't even sure I knew I had a problem myself. I always suspected there was something 'not quite right' as I had stopped gaining pleasure from anything - especially things I really SHOULD have been. That left me feeling guilty and the cycle became a downward spiral.

I'm glad I realised something was wrong and told as many people as possible.

Now I feel 1000 times better.

A problem shared isn't just a problem halved if you have this much support. I'm maybe lucky though.

 

[kithnou]

It took me a while to ask for help. Nobody knew...literally nobody. I wasn't even sure I knew I had a problem myself. I always suspected there was something 'not quite right' as I had stopped gaining pleasure from anything - especially things I really SHOULD have been. That left me feeling guilty and the cycle became a downward spiral.

I'm glad I realised something was wrong and told as many people as possible.

Now I feel 1000 times better.

A problem shared isn't just a problem halved if you have this much support. I'm maybe lucky though.

Great stuff my man. Thanks or sharing.

 

[JimmyJeffers]

I'll let you know how it goes. I have a feeling a lot of people live their whole life with an inner unhappiness like this from similar circumstances. I posted mainly to see if it struck a real chord with anyone else. I only realised through a radio show that I was half listening to that was describing symptoms. If it wasn't for that I would have carried on imagining that the way I was was just the way I was.

 

[COYBL25]

I'll write a little bit more. And I beg to you to ignore it if you are a bit open to boredom!

Stuff happens, and none of us is born with a certificate that states we'll have an easy ride in life. I happened to be born in to a strong Irish Catholic family in the early 50's. Not so great if you happen to be gay and experience a diagnosed illness - schizo affective disorder.

It gets to the point where you have to choose a job and I made the wrong choice. The pressure of that job, that illness and that sexuality led me to self medicate with booze. Unfortunately, nothing (and I repeat, nothing) can overcome the power of the mind to make sense of what is happening to you. Eventually, you will seek a conclusion to your problems, and maybe leave loved ones wondering why. They don't deserve it.

No matter how awkward, how intrusive, how unappealing the help is, GET IT.

Fantastic stuff mate, youre obviously a veteran and I,m guessing that youve been lurking around this thread for a while before posting !

Any advice you can offer anyone on here is much appreciated as you're obviulsy well qualified albeit not through choice .

 

[COYBL25]

How do you get the right support as my doctor is bad I have been to him a few time desperate told him how bad things are and the only thing that stopped me giving up was I felt guilty and he just told me to go home to bed you can see him getting a cob on with you. I even tried inclusion matters and after 4 weeks they just seemed to think I was sad and i should go home and tidy my cupboard out. I am on ant-depression tablets that to be honest don't help and my doctor wont give me anything for the bad bad times and just leaves me to get on with it. Its now made me feel worse and scared to approach anyone over this of fear they think "oh its nothing go home and sleep it off

I've experienced a bad GP first hand - not arsed, didn't even look up from his computer screen when seeing you etc.
You are entitled to see any of the GPs in the surgery and are under no obligation to see the bad one. I changed my bad GP and the new GP immediatly cancelled the addictive sedatives I,d been on for 3 yrs ( shouldve been on them for no more than 2 mths max ) and referred me to a councillor . Ask to see a different GP if possible, if not register with a different surgery in your area. At the very least you need your meds looking at if you say they aren't working.

Keep posting mate.

 

[kithnou]

These posts show how valuable this thread is - people openly discussing tragic events, the consequences, shared experiences and possible solutions.

It's a great credit that you can share such experiences, I hope it helps each of you and the many readers who look into this thread.

Well said mate

 

[kithnou]

I just want people not to feel isolated.

They may be words on a website, but typing those words and getting a response may just make you feel 'not alone', and act as a springboard for seeking further help.

It's not a sign of weakness to say 'help, I'm struggling'. There's a whole host of people out there (UK or otherwise) who can help.

Well done mate. You are a star!

 

[kithnou]

I've experienced a bad GP first hand - not arsed, didn't even look up from his computer screen when seeing you etc.
You are entitled to see any of the GPs in the surgery and are under no obligation to see the bad one. I changed my bad GP and the new GP immediatly cancelled the addictive sedatives I,d been on for 3 yrs ( shouldve been on them for no more than 2 was max ) and referred me to a councillor . Ask to see a different GP if possible, if not register with a different surgery in your area. At the very least you need your meds looking at if you say they aren't working.

Keep posting mate.

Great advice. Finding someone you feel comfortable with will make a huge difference for sure

 

[Groucho]

Well done mate. You are a star!

Thanks but I'm not after personal glory over this. Had enough problems of my own to know what feeling shut in and isolated is like.

If we can help someone out who feels that way, then great. I can't promise that we can fix everyone's problems, but I can promise that we can try to make them feel better and signpost folk to the relevant aid.

Keep up the good work folks, I only started the ball rolling, you lot keep it going.

 

[COYBL25]

I wonder if anyone on here can relate to this. I'm in my 30s now but when I was 13 my mother died through cancer. The pain seemed to diminish over time and I always kinda thought I'd got through it and my personality hadn't been affected too much.
Recently I've been reading about PTSD and it seems that this event has shaped almost every aspect of who I am. I'm often withdrawn and apathetic. I don't have nightmares but I avoid making decisions and feel completely detached from reality. I really struggle to envisage any kind of future and as such have real problems in relationships. Sound familiar to anyone?
Going to see the GP this week

I can only echo what others have said mate. I'm not a proffesional but from what you say a lot seems to stem from the loss of your mum. What I would say is be brutally honest with your GP, the more information he or she has the more they will know how best to help you. Don't be embarrassed they're proffesionals and will have treated people with similar problems before. Be prepared for any treatment to take a while, as if you're prescribed meds it's very hit and miss before they find the right one / dose for you .

Good luck mate.