Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

[Spotty]

Hmm, sorry but I find those to be condescending assumptions about “ elderly folk” that you don’t even know , you can’t know how they see his daughter or that they have a hole in their lives. Anyway, sidetracking the issue so I’ll leave it there.

I think your right, I did make assumptions and generalize so I will definitely take what you said on board. I suppose - lazily ? - that I was making the point that I imagine a lot of elderly folk / grandparents see looking after and interacting with their grandchildren important as it "can " give their lives some meaning that through age they may have lost. A lot of the elderly people I have nursed have found a new " lease of life " after they have become more involved with their grandchildren's lives. But I do accept your assertion that I didn't " know " what the grandparents were thinking is a true one.

 

[Spotty]

Its interesting reading the comments, and as I said earlier I have a Grandparents perspective. I never forget there’s a wee baby at the heart of this who is totally , 100% the parents responsibility to make the right decisions for her. The Grandparents role should always be a supportive one and if necessary back off , even if they think they would do things differently. I’m lucky in having a loving relationship with all my children and grandchildren. But both parents and grandparents should never forget how lucky they are .

Today is proving quite poignant. Most of my morning has been spent writing a children’s adventure story for two of my grandchildren . The story is about the adventures me and Harris their brother had today ,as today is Harris’s 5th birthday. But sadly he was very ill when he was born and only lived for 7 days. The adventure stories I write of Harris with his Grandad keep his memory alive and his mum and dad read them to Harris’ brother and sister. As it happens I also came across a post from a grieving Grandmother who had lost a grandchild, it was on a support site for Grandparents who have lost Grandchildren and I was able to tell her the story of Harris and how things do get easier. I hope it helps her.

Longish post, simple message really , never forget how precious children are to both parents and grandparents and both parents and grandparents should remember how lucky they are to have them.

Longish post no, a very lovely relevant one, yes. Never heard of the site you allude to but a valuable support resource for grandparents. Great post fella.

 

[Spotty]

Best thing I ever did mate was organise that 1 day rota. I love my lad to bits but he's hard work and having that day to yourselves with no getting up in the night etc is boss.

Having to deal with arsey comments aint great like hopefully they mellow out over time - but in a way count your blessings that they want to see the baby - my in laws can never be arsed to spend any time with us too busy on cruises and living a jet setting lifestyle

" Having that day to yourself " this 100%. Recharge the batteries and some time for yourself is really important. Keeps you sane. Good post.

 

[blueloon]

Longish post no, a very lovely relevant one, yes. Never heard of the site you allude to but a valuable support resource for grandparents. Great post fella.

Thanks. It’s a Scottish charity, SiMBA , which provides memory boxes to honour babies who have died , miscarried, or still born. It has a closed Facebook group for Grandparents . Hopefully not something people on here will ever need , it’s very supportive, but few grieving Grandfathers post there , it’s mainly Grandmothers - which is why our site is so very valuable, I know we’re not exclusively for males but it’s seems to be one of the few sites men feel comfortable opening up about issues. As has been said many times , an invaluable thread.

 

[GraemeS1980]

I am sat at my desk in work feeling a bit overwhelmed. I am a children's metal health practitioner and due to staffing problems I am on my own today which is generally ok but today there are seven patients (all between 12 and 17) that have either suicidal ideation or have taken an overdose and several with self harm. I took a moment to think about how supporting Everton effects your mental health, no joke it obviously does. There are bound to be for example veterans with PTSD that support Everton and feel worse when they are as bad as last night. I thought to myself on my way to work that I felt a bit off today and couldn't work out why as everything is great at the moment in my life apart from one thing.
I often wonder when you hear the likes of DCL last night saying he feels for the fans travelling home last night. But actually do they really care to the level we do? No they don't, as if they did each and every one of them would have paid the travelling fans expenses for that last night (they could afford to).
I then thought to myself is it really worth it if this shower make us feel like this? Then I remembered the good memories over the last 36 years I have been watching Everton, all of which stand out way more than the bad, memories of me and my arl fella at Wembley, travelling to aways and getting a win too many to recount.
So if you are feeling a bit blue today don't worry it will blow over, there will be good times again and remember this is Everton, it is bigger than any player or manager. NSNO

 

[Earwigjoe]

I am sat at my desk in work feeling a bit overwhelmed. I am a children's metal health practitioner and due to staffing problems I am on my own today which is generally ok but today there are seven patients (all between 12 and 17) that have either suicidal ideation or have taken an overdose and several with self harm. I took a moment to think about how supporting Everton effects your mental health, no joke it obviously does. There are bound to be for example veterans with PTSD that support Everton and feel worse when they are as bad as last night. I thought to myself on my way to work that I felt a bit off today and couldn't work out why as everything is great at the moment in my life apart from one thing.
I often wonder when you hear the likes of DCL last night saying he feels for the fans travelling home last night. But actually do they really care to the level we do? No they don't, as if they did each and every one of them would have paid the travelling fans expenses for that last night (they could afford to).
I then thought to myself is it really worth it if this shower make us feel like this? Then I remembered the good memories over the last 36 years I have been watching Everton, all of which stand out way more than the bad, memories of me and my arl fella at Wembley, travelling to aways and getting a win too many to recount.
So if you are feeling a bit blue today don't worry it will blow over, there will be good times again and remember this is Everton, it is bigger than any player or manager. NSNO

They dont care mate why would they, theyre living the dream, big houses, fast cars, beautiful women wanting stuck on their arm. Its an addiction to us though, Mummy, Daddy, football our first loves for many of us. My youngest is non verbal severely autistic amongst other conditions - during the Silva days I remember looking away from the match in despair and seen him glued to the match I remember jumping up and turning the tv off saying no way son- you've enough to deal with you're not getting sucked into this haha. If only our dads could've done that for us . We keep going back though no matter what they put us through. The memories of the good times getting a bit faded now though but they were brilliant and they'll return. Thanks for all you do mate? UTT.

 

[Gwladysover]

I am sat at my desk in work feeling a bit overwhelmed. I am a children's metal health practitioner and due to staffing problems I am on my own today which is generally ok but today there are seven patients (all between 12 and 17) that have either suicidal ideation or have taken an overdose and several with self harm. I took a moment to think about how supporting Everton effects your mental health, no joke it obviously does. There are bound to be for example veterans with PTSD that support Everton and feel worse when they are as bad as last night. I thought to myself on my way to work that I felt a bit off today and couldn't work out why as everything is great at the moment in my life apart from one thing.
I often wonder when you hear the likes of DCL last night saying he feels for the fans travelling home last night. But actually do they really care to the level we do? No they don't, as if they did each and every one of them would have paid the travelling fans expenses for that last night (they could afford to).
I then thought to myself is it really worth it if this shower make us feel like this? Then I remembered the good memories over the last 36 years I have been watching Everton, all of which stand out way more than the bad, memories of me and my arl fella at Wembley, travelling to aways and getting a win too many to recount.
So if you are feeling a bit blue today don't worry it will blow over, there will be good times again and remember this is Everton, it is bigger than any player or manager. NSNO

I have posted this before so forgive me for repeating myself but maybe it will reach some new readers. I went out with a professional footballer and in my experience they don’t care. It was just a job to him, if a better offer came along he would take it and did!. He couldn’t relate to my excitement/disappointment regarding results. Why would he? He hadn’t invested the time and emotion in the club that I had over the years. So celebrate the good times, put the bad behind you and move on because the players certainly do.

 

[Groucho]

If anyone’s interested there’s an app called the Hub of Hope which signposts you to local mental health services in your area.

 

[anjelikaferrett]

 

[blueloon]

Apologies if this has already been shared, but a friend of mine (she’s a nurse) told me about a website called hub of hope. The link is below, you type in your location and it gives you options to choose, before sign posting you to help.

It could be worth bookmarking for if you or someone you know, are ever in need of help.

Hub of Hope - Mental Health Support Network provided by Chasing the Stigma

Chasing the Stigma (CTS) has launched the Hub of Hope - a national mental health database, bringing help and support together in one place, with a focus on grassroots organisations.

hubofhope.co.uk

.

If anyone’s interested there’s an app called the Hub of Hope which signposts you to local mental health services in your area.

 

[ForeverBlue92]

I am sat at my desk in work feeling a bit overwhelmed. I am a children's metal health practitioner and due to staffing problems I am on my own today which is generally ok but today there are seven patients (all between 12 and 17) that have either suicidal ideation or have taken an overdose and several with self harm. I took a moment to think about how supporting Everton effects your mental health, no joke it obviously does. There are bound to be for example veterans with PTSD that support Everton and feel worse when they are as bad as last night. I thought to myself on my way to work that I felt a bit off today and couldn't work out why as everything is great at the moment in my life apart from one thing.
I often wonder when you hear the likes of DCL last night saying he feels for the fans travelling home last night. But actually do they really care to the level we do? No they don't, as if they did each and every one of them would have paid the travelling fans expenses for that last night (they could afford to).
I then thought to myself is it really worth it if this shower make us feel like this? Then I remembered the good memories over the last 36 years I have been watching Everton, all of which stand out way more than the bad, memories of me and my arl fella at Wembley, travelling to aways and getting a win too many to recount.
So if you are feeling a bit blue today don't worry it will blow over, there will be good times again and remember this is Everton, it is bigger than any player or manager. NSNO

I used to let Everton dominate my life mate and had many arguments with the missus/family over being a moody sod for days after a bad defeat. I dont know if its modern football in general as I watch very little football matches these days outside of EFC but I find myself caring less and less these days.

I'll be made up with a win and down after a loss but usually that feeling goes either way after 24 hours. I imagine it must be boss supporting a side winning stuff but my advice to most is take a step back from it all as it really isn't worth it.

Going the match these days is more routine for me than what it used to be which was genuine excitement.

 

[David09]

I used to let Everton dominate my life mate and had many arguments with the missus/family over being a moody sod for days after a bad defeat. I dont know if its modern football in general as I watch very little football matches these days outside of EFC but I find myself caring less and less these days.

I'll be made up with a win and down after a loss but usually that feeling goes either way after 24 hours. I imagine it must be boss supporting a side winning stuff but my advice to most is take a step back from it all as it really isn't worth it.

Going the match these days is more routine for me than what it used to be which was genuine excitement.

That is exactly how I feel mate. I've gone from being a season ticket holder to watching match of the day highlights if I can be bothered. I rarely watch us live now as I don't have Sky tv just free view.
I've tried listening to bits on the radio but when you here the same commentators and co commentators saying we are an absolute shambles I have to turn it off. I respect them as well as most of them are telling the truth.
They used to wreck my whole weekend now I just shrug my shoulders.
But if I'm honest I lost interest in anything really over the last 3 years. I just work now. That's my life.

 

[LocalNative]

Saying this from a hypocritical standing but the city is toxic for drugs man

 

[blue to the bone]

Goin through a pretty poor time at the minute.
Relationship looks like it's over, had a bit of health scare , and head is just not in a good place. Have suffered previously and see all the signs again. Interest and motivation to do things is not there. I'll get over it I expect. But at the moment it's not nice at all.

 

[Spotty]

Goin through a pretty poor time at the minute.
Relationship looks like it's over, had a bit of health scare , and head is just not in a good place. Have suffered previously and see all the signs again. Interest and motivation to do things is not there. I'll get over it I expect. But at the moment it's not nice at all.

Blue try to sorrou d yourself with loved ones or friends. Someone to listen to you, so your not alone. Don't know if you have received treatment for mental illness before, but if you haven't, go tell your Dr if your feelings continue to deteriorate. He / she may be able to help. Tell people how you are feeling. You MAY be able to stop things getting worse for yourself as your already recognizing the signs and triggers. The fact that you've been through this before and come out the other end tells me a lot about your character buddy. Talk and sorroubd yourself with support, people who care. Please DM me if you feel the need my friend. There ARE people out there who care about you. All the best.