Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

[Earwigjoe]

I didn't watch it today either. I dragged myself out for a 17 mile run then just watched MOTD without knowing the result. Its far less stressful

Me too, I took myself down to my mums, phone off - bliss. You know they're more than likely going to ruin your day we rely on them too much to perk us up from our mundane week. Better to get abit of separation and find something else to cheer us up - this lot been a millstone around our necks for too long.

 

[Spotty]

Sorry to hear this mate. I think it's quite a common situation for people to find themselves in these days, especially since the gap in wage and cost of living increases is getting wider and wider. It is perceived as more and more of a risk to abandon the devil you know in favour of something new.

I had a similar situation myself, about 4.5 years ago now. We had just had our second child and so I was torn between the idea of keeping a steady (and decent) income to continue supporting my family at a comfortable level, or getting out of the job that would make me come home some combination of angry and stressed most days.

Ultimately, I decided I would rather my boys get the best of me. I am not going to downplay the importance of money, especially to those for whom it is scarce, but if you CAN afford to prioritise your mental health and happiness, even if it means destroying your savings then I think you should. What are those savings for? A rainy day? A comfortable future? How much more rainy are you going to let it get? What kind of future will it be if this place keeps chipping away at your mental wellbeing?

All so much more easily said than done, I know. Just my two pence, FWIW.

Whatever you decide, I wish you the best, mate. Good luck.

Brett I love this post. You make a great point about working and making money but seeing a deterioration in your mental health " angry and stressed most days " Conversely,having a less well paying job but being more happy.

I want to categorically say to you Brett and everyone reading this, always always always prioritise your mental health BEFORE ANYTHING ELSE. I've said it lots of times on here and I will keep saying it, always choose the good mental health option - even if it adversely affects your income / materially - because EVERYTHING stems from good mental health. If you have peace of mind, it makes you feel better physically, it allows you to make more humane decisions where you put your own feelings and those of others at the forefront of your thinking. ( you for example Brett spending time with your family more relaxed and at ease with yourself ).

I have numerous times, sat with my wife and kids, after a lovely meal and something nice to drink watched a good movie had a great evening and just been at peace with my life. Hasn't cost much but it has just felt great.

Think of the times when we have been tormented, felt down and depressed and anxious, for some of us sadly, thoughts of suicide and harming ourselves. It is the most terrible of feelings and our thoughts are " this can't go on, it's intolerable ". Please everyone, do whatever we can to give ourselves some peace, contentment and aim to be free of stress. Prioritise it, I mean REALLY prioritise it, put it before anything. Think, I'll lose out this way, I won't have this, I'll have to sacrifice certain things, then go ahead and do it. sacrificing something for better mental health is worth it EVERYTIME.

 

[Spotty]

I have just finished - 11pm - a very very busy shift on the Ward. When it's busy it means a number, or one particular patient has been distressed. But that's not the reason I'm posting - sharing this - it's something else, something so inconsequential to everyone reading this, that you'll think " Spotty has lost it ".

Anyway, when I got back my wife was in bed but she had made a fish pie. It wasn't a normal fish pie, it was magnificent, something I often say to my wife, as one of her " prisoners last meal " meals - magnificent. It then got me thinking of 33 years of marriage to my wife and I thought of that wonderful time the day I visited her, 24 hours after I had watched her for the best part of the previous day pushing my first born son into the World. She was sat on the edge of the bed, holding my son and she was the vision of loveliness, she was glowing, she smelled lovely too, and on that day I felt immense pride and love for my wife.

What am I trying to say here, I'm not quite sure, but I have this fantastic feeling, I feel happy and lucky to have this beautifull, caring great mum to my kids as my wife. It probably makes me sound soppy but in the space of 12 hours I've experienced seeing people in complete dispair to reflecting - triggered by the eating of a simple fish pie - on how lucky I am, working in the most rewarding job in the World and having spent 33 years with this wonderfull human being.

I shall sleep well tonight. Goodnight all.

 

[Earwigjoe]

I have just finished - 11pm - a very very busy shift on the Ward. When it's busy it means a number, or one particular patient has been distressed. But that's not the reason I'm posting - sharing this - it's something else, something so inconsequential to everyone reading this, that you'll think " Spotty has lost it ".

Anyway, when I got back my wife was in bed but she had made a fish pie. It wasn't a normal fish pie, it was magnificent, something I often say to my wife, as one of her " prisoners last meal " meals - magnificent. It then got me thinking of 33 years of marriage to my wife and I thought of that wonderful time the day I visited her, 24 hours after I had watched her for the best part of the previous day pushing my first born son into the World. She was sat on the edge of the bed, holding my son and she was the vision of loveliness, she was glowing, she smelled lovely too, and on that day I felt immense pride and love for my wife.

What am I trying to say here, I'm not quite sure, but I have this fantastic feeling, I feel happy and lucky to have this beautifull, caring great mum to my kids as my wife. It probably makes me sound soppy but in the space of 12 hours I've experienced seeing people in complete dispair to reflecting - triggered by the eating of a simple fish pie - on how lucky I am, working in the most rewarding job in the World and having spent 33 years with this wonderfull human being.

I shall sleep well tonight. Goodnight all.

Goodnight buddy, we all need our rock and you've had the grace of 2 wonderful women in your life - you're a lucky man,husband and son.

 

[Spotty]

Goodnight buddy, we all need our rock and you've had the grace of 2 wonderful women in your life - you're a lucky man,husband and son.

Thanks Earwig. Not lucky my friend, I genuinely think it's because I don't ask for much and I get enjoyment from simple things. I'm rubbish with money, mum didn't have much and frankly I'll die poor but I'm ok with that, a good meal, a nice cigar and some good company and as long as the wife and boys are ok, I'm happy. I'm curious, what makes you happy, do you want for much of have you simple needs like me?

 

[COYBL25]

Thanks Earwig. Not lucky my friend, I genuinely think it's because I don't ask for much and I get enjoyment from simple things. I'm rubbish with money, mum didn't have much and frankly I'll die poor but I'm ok with that, a good meal, a nice cigar and some good company and as long as the wife and boys are ok, I'm happy. I'm curious, what makes you happy, do you want for much of have you simple needs like me?

You’re spot on there, when you say it’s the simple things in life make you the most happy. Hence why so many people who seem to have it all, throw it all away and end up deeply unhappy.

Material things can only bring contentment to a certain extent.

It’s things like your child giving you a hug, a walk in the countryside, good company, a good book, etc that do it for me.

Although I must admit, I do love driving my classic car, which is a money pit lol

 

[Earwigjoe]

Thanks Earwig. Not lucky my friend, I genuinely think it's because I don't ask for much and I get enjoyment from simple things. I'm rubbish with money, mum didn't have much and frankly I'll die poor but I'm ok with that, a good meal, a nice cigar and some good company and as long as the wife and boys are ok, I'm happy. I'm curious, what makes you happy, do you want for much of have you simple needs like me?

So true mate, too many people complicate life and end up inevitably tripping themselves up.Im a simple creature For me faith, family, football, friends thats it.

 

[Gwladysover]

I have just finished - 11pm - a very very busy shift on the Ward. When it's busy it means a number, or one particular patient has been distressed. But that's not the reason I'm posting - sharing this - it's something else, something so inconsequential to everyone reading this, that you'll think " Spotty has lost it ".

Anyway, when I got back my wife was in bed but she had made a fish pie. It wasn't a normal fish pie, it was magnificent, something I often say to my wife, as one of her " prisoners last meal " meals - magnificent. It then got me thinking of 33 years of marriage to my wife and I thought of that wonderful time the day I visited her, 24 hours after I had watched her for the best part of the previous day pushing my first born son into the World. She was sat on the edge of the bed, holding my son and she was the vision of loveliness, she was glowing, she smelled lovely too, and on that day I felt immense pride and love for my wife.

What am I trying to say here, I'm not quite sure, but I have this fantastic feeling, I feel happy and lucky to have this beautifull, caring great mum to my kids as my wife. It probably makes me sound soppy but in the space of 12 hours I've experienced seeing people in complete dispair to reflecting - triggered by the eating of a simple fish pie - on how lucky I am, working in the most rewarding job in the World and having spent 33 years with this wonderfull human being.

I shall sleep well tonight. Goodnight all.

What a wonderful post. Have you showed it to your wife? If I were her I’d be honoured that you had shared how you feel with others. Not had the best week myself but your post has cheered me no end.

 

[Devanski]

What a wonderful post. Have you showed it to your wife? If I were her I’d be honoured that you had shared how you feel with others. Not had the best week myself but your post has cheered me no end.

Hope it’s just a hiccup and you’re all good soon Gal. ?

 

[Spotty]

What a wonderful post. Have you showed it to your wife? If I were her I’d be honoured that you had shared how you feel with others. Not had the best week myself but your post has cheered me no end.

Really nice of you to say that Gwladys. I haven't told her about the post but tell her I love her regularly. She's a District Nurse, works very hard often working the dying. She's a diamond and puts up with me, so says a lot about her. Not the perfect marriage by any stretch but we know each other, which is all that matters. Last night I wanted to share that I was / am happy, prompted by a fish pie so would understand people thinking I had lost it. ( Insert smiley thing ) but as I've said I'm very very easily pleased. Are you ok Gladys.? If you need to chat DM me as I'm happy to chat. Take care.

 

[Gwladysover]

Hope it’s just a hiccup and you’re all good soon Gal. ?

Thank you.

 

[Gwladysover]

Really nice of you to say that Gwladys. I haven't told her about the post but tell her I love her regularly. She's a District Nurse, works very hard often working the dying. She's a diamond and puts up with me, so says a lot about her. Not the perfect marriage by any stretch but we know each other, which is all that matters. Last night I wanted to share that I was / am happy, prompted by a fish pie so would understand people thinking I had lost it. ( Insert smiley thing ) but as I've said I'm very very easily pleased. Are you ok Gladys.? If you need to chat DM me as I'm happy to chat. Take care.

I’m okay thanks. Have problems with my eye sight (double vision) which my new glasses didn’t correct. Got nowhere with opticians as they wouldn’t do anything until I gave it two weeks which I did with no success. The optician still wouldn’t see me but the dispensing assistant adjusted frames made no difference but told to give it another two weeks. Rang GP as I developed further problems, she got me an emergency appointment at the hospital on Friday, so hopefully may get something sorted. Then my aunt died, my late mother’s youngest sister. She was born late in life to my Nan who couldn’t cope after already having had six children, losing one in infancy. My mum although only 11 took over Aunt Eva’s care and basically became a mother to her. They always had a special bond and was a link to my Mum which now she has passed has been broken. It’s all been a bit much. On the plus side although not perfect I can still see - many people can’t! Thanks for listening and by the way your wife sounds lovely.

 

[anjelikaferrett]

I have just finished - 11pm - a very very busy shift on the Ward. When it's busy it means a number, or one particular patient has been distressed. But that's not the reason I'm posting - sharing this - it's something else, something so inconsequential to everyone reading this, that you'll think " Spotty has lost it ".

Anyway, when I got back my wife was in bed but she had made a fish pie. It wasn't a normal fish pie, it was magnificent, something I often say to my wife, as one of her " prisoners last meal " meals - magnificent. It then got me thinking of 33 years of marriage to my wife and I thought of that wonderful time the day I visited her, 24 hours after I had watched her for the best part of the previous day pushing my first born son into the World. She was sat on the edge of the bed, holding my son and she was the vision of loveliness, she was glowing, she smelled lovely too, and on that day I felt immense pride and love for my wife.

What am I trying to say here, I'm not quite sure, but I have this fantastic feeling, I feel happy and lucky to have this beautifull, caring great mum to my kids as my wife. It probably makes me sound soppy but in the space of 12 hours I've experienced seeing people in complete dispair to reflecting - triggered by the eating of a simple fish pie - on how lucky I am, working in the most rewarding job in the World and having spent 33 years with this wonderfull human being.

I shall sleep well tonight. Goodnight all.

That is such a beautiful post.

 

[Earwigjoe]

I’m okay thanks. Have problems with my eye sight (double vision) which my new glasses didn’t correct. Got nowhere with opticians as they wouldn’t do anything until I gave it two weeks which I did with no success. The optician still wouldn’t see me but the dispensing assistant adjusted frames made no difference but told to give it another two weeks. Rang GP as I developed further problems, she got me an emergency appointment at the hospital on Friday, so hopefully may get something sorted. Then my aunt died, my late mother’s youngest sister. She was born late in life to my Nan who couldn’t cope after already having had six children, losing one in infancy. My mum although only 11 took over Aunt Eva’s care and basically became a mother to her. They always had a special bond and was a link to my Mum which now she has passed has been broken. It’s all been a bit much. On the plus side although not perfect I can still see - many people can’t! Thanks for listening and by the way your wife sounds lovely.

Sounds like a really rough week Gwladys. Aunt Evas passing must be tough to deal with - with her being such a link to your mum. Im sorry for your loss, it must have felt like you lost a whole section of your life. Your mums got good company now - and there'll be another up there looking down over you now. Take care of yourself - youre a lovely, caring poster, i hope you've got other close family with your character to look after you. I hope you get the eyesight sorted on Friday but on a positive youll not have to watch the match tomorrow. Take care of yourself ?

 

[anjelikaferrett]

One day this club will force me off a cliff. Wish I was joking because I wouldn't joke about such a thing. Having an awful time at work ebing so busy and working for an absolute cretin of a human. Every weekend this pushes me absolutely closer.

Have nowhere to vent this [Poor language removed] anywhere either. Absolutely zero positives in any direction.

I dont know how people do it so easily. I really dont!

Please don't feel like you do about Everton. I completely understand how their performance affects our mood but ultimately they don't care about us on an individual level. They don't know us and as far as they are concerned, playing for our beloved Everton is just a job. Others have said to try and step away a bit. It's good advice.

Is there anything you can do to ease your work situation? Is a move possible. If you are being bullied/harassed can you complain or put in a grievance. Could you afford to go off sick citing workplace stress - which does count as an industrial injury.

Most of all though, please keep talking. We will all listen to you.