@Brendan Janus I’m so sorry for the position you find yourself in. Every year I check this thread around this time and it breaks my heart even more to see people feeling lonely and depressed at this time of year.
I can’t offer anything more useful and meaningful than the contributors that have gone before me, but I do want to pick up on something you said and that’s your (very understandable) desire to be cared for.
Unfortunately, as an adult, our siblings, friends etc tend to have some all-consuming stuff going on in their lives and, quite frankly, if we don’t work to stay on their radar then we can find ourselves off it regardless of how much love they have for us. You sound like you’re very overwhelmed and so I’m not going to suggest that any steps you need to take are “easy” but at this stage the only choices require hard work of some kind.
A straightforward step might be to use the calendar/reminder function on your phone to schedule weekly/fortnightly messages or calls to your small circle. Maybe send the first message and explain that you miss regular contact with them and this is the first step in addressing that from your end.
You should also concentrate on what it is you’re asking people to care for. What aspects of yourself do you think you could be proud of, albeit with a little TLC? Love and care shouldn’t require a quid pro quo, but sometimes people might need to be reminded of what it is they love about you and want to help care for, in order to re establish what you once had. It’d be hard for them to do that if you have such a negative opinion of yourself overall. Again it’s easier said than done so focus on some really small things.
You’re a £40m GOT poster who got there without being a WUM, so I couldn’t be more convinced that you’ve a lot of really good qualities!!
I’m on the wind down for Chrimbo now, work wise, so I’ll have a bit more time on here in the coming couple of weeks. If you ever want to drop a PM even just to chat nonsense, then please do. I already care enough about you to want to stop you coming to any harm if I can, so please let that help you understand that there’s enough love and care out there for you if you can just put in a few of the hard yards required to get it.
I wish you the very best mate, and I look forward to what I know will be some positive updates from you in the future.
I can’t offer anything more useful and meaningful than the contributors that have gone before me, but I do want to pick up on something you said and that’s your (very understandable) desire to be cared for.
Unfortunately, as an adult, our siblings, friends etc tend to have some all-consuming stuff going on in their lives and, quite frankly, if we don’t work to stay on their radar then we can find ourselves off it regardless of how much love they have for us. You sound like you’re very overwhelmed and so I’m not going to suggest that any steps you need to take are “easy” but at this stage the only choices require hard work of some kind.
A straightforward step might be to use the calendar/reminder function on your phone to schedule weekly/fortnightly messages or calls to your small circle. Maybe send the first message and explain that you miss regular contact with them and this is the first step in addressing that from your end.
You should also concentrate on what it is you’re asking people to care for. What aspects of yourself do you think you could be proud of, albeit with a little TLC? Love and care shouldn’t require a quid pro quo, but sometimes people might need to be reminded of what it is they love about you and want to help care for, in order to re establish what you once had. It’d be hard for them to do that if you have such a negative opinion of yourself overall. Again it’s easier said than done so focus on some really small things.
You’re a £40m GOT poster who got there without being a WUM, so I couldn’t be more convinced that you’ve a lot of really good qualities!!
I’m on the wind down for Chrimbo now, work wise, so I’ll have a bit more time on here in the coming couple of weeks. If you ever want to drop a PM even just to chat nonsense, then please do. I already care enough about you to want to stop you coming to any harm if I can, so please let that help you understand that there’s enough love and care out there for you if you can just put in a few of the hard yards required to get it.
I wish you the very best mate, and I look forward to what I know will be some positive updates from you in the future.
