Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

[BiggyRat]

Thanks lads, appreciate it. I know I should grow some balls and go, but it's just... idk. Makes me feel bad, you know? I realised a long time ago I am ill in the mind, been to counselling and everything, and have had mindfulness to work with, which was great, but it stopped being so helpful a bit back

The part that makes me feel bad is the fact that I've realised I'm sick and that I feel even weaker by going to a doctr. I know it makes negative sense, but it's a very irrational fear to begin with.

I'll be honest. I'm not all that enamoured by my therapist. I'm the kind of guy that needs someone to say "Do A, then B, followed by D, and you'll C" and I'll follow it to the letter & get it done but the chap I see isn't like that. I dare say, none of them are.

Perhaps that's the point, they can't fix you. It has to come from within.

Having said that, he's helped me realised that it wasn't PTSD from the Bushfires and that I'm not being paranoid and over exaggerating what's happening at my work. He's actually complimented me on my resilience in the face of the constant BS I'm putting up with!

So, to summarise, think long & hard about the negative experiences you've had with the Professionals & if you're convinced that they've missed the point with your problems, try someone else. Trust me, someone will be able to help you. Perhaps someone local to you can recommend someone via PM if you ask...(I can recommend someone, but it's a hell of a Bus fare!)

 

[The Esk]

@wbn61 Hi mate how are things? Thoughts and prayers still with you and your family.

 

[blue4eva77]

No one is ever worthless. Depression is NOT a sign of weakness; it just means you've been strong for far too long. I like this quote..

Having a rough day ?
Place your hand over your heart
Feel that ?
Thats called purpose
You're alive for a reason
Don't give up !

 

[wbn61]

@wbn61 Hi mate how are things? Thoughts and prayers still with you and your family.

not too bad thanks. spent day with sons and some g/kids having a few drinks ( sweets and pop for g/kids lol) and watching footy. starting antibiotics course tomorrow and funeral is set for Thursday so today was a good day to just chill and put other thoughts aside. thankyou for your kind thoughts.

 

[trebilcock66]

I'll be honest. I'm not all that enamoured by my therapist. I'm the kind of guy that needs someone to say "Do A, then B, followed by D, and you'll C" and I'll follow it to the letter & get it done but the chap I see isn't like that. I dare say, none of them are.

Perhaps that's the point, they can't fix you. It has to come from within.

I think this is so true. Therapy cannot solve our problems but can help anyone to find the means - within themselves - to manage their difficulties. There are no silver bullets, sadly.

But the upside is: everyone has the power to change their situation. Just need to find the confidence and motivation. This site alone can help with that.....by showing that nobody is alone in their despair.....we can all relate to feeling helpless or lonely or just sad.

If you're suffering, please seek help. It might make the difference.

 

[daz4matty]

It's this negative feeling I'm trying to persuade people to lose.

It's not a weakness - seek the help you need, because it is there.

Its actually a strength to go to the experts not a weakness.

 

[kithnou]

Its actually a strength to go to the experts not a weakness.

That's right. The tough thing is making the decision to get help and speak to someone. Just do it!

 

[COYBL25]

Its actually a strength to go to the experts not a weakness.

I couldn't agree more. It can be so easy to find excuses not to seek help - " I'll go tomorrow, I can sort this out by myself, give it time and I'll be okay " being amongst the more common from my own experience. When you feel like crap just leaving the house can be incredibly difficult, however the feeling of relief when you actually get there for the first time is immense and that simple thing can be the start of the journey to recovery.

 

[Groucho]

Its actually a strength to go to the experts not a weakness.

That's exactly right.

 

[Styles P Deadball]

I couldn't agree more. It can be so easy to find excuses not to seek help - " I'll go tomorrow, I can sort this out by myself, give it time and I'll be okay " being amongst the more common from my own experience. When you feel like crap just leaving the house can be incredibly difficult, however the feeling of relief when you actually get there for the first time is immense and that simple thing can be the start of the journey to recovery.

I can heartily endorse this. Counseling and therapy can help you arrive at the answers you need just by giving you the time and space to talk about the various things on your mind. A good counselor with whom you make a connection can listen to you and steer your mind in directions you hadn't thought to go before. One of the most frustrating things about the difficult times (for me, at least) is how the mind fixates on the problem and just runs in circles.... a situation where it's all you're thinking about, yet not arriving at any peace of mind. A good counselor can break that cycle.

I need to go see mine. I haven't since the baseball season started (I coach high school baseball and it chews up almost all of my free time in the spring). This past weekend, my back stiffened up and started spasms. For me, that's a sure sign of built-up stress. I feel fine, generally, but obviously just the hectic pace I'm living right now has me wound up. And then the body follows the mind.

Time to do a little routine maintenance.

 

[EvertonRhys]

I've always been of the opinion, that much like regular dentist check ups (and hopefully beyond..) annual counselling sessions/ welfare check up sessions for everybody would massively help at an early intervention stage. I know there would be budget issues, but at the end of the day I would say most people on average see their GP once a year- surely an investment of one person per GP surgery dedicated to mental health wouldn't be out of this world? If politicians really mean it when they say they want to equalise the amount of support for mental and physical illness, then for me a regular mental health check up would be a great chance for people to either be re-assured or get some primary counselling before things escalate?

We obviously know there's a misconception about it, so surely everybody being more aware of the issue would help across the board, and consequently help costs be reduced further down the line? What do you guys think? Would people bother to show up for it if they weren't 'ill'? Maybe not, but for those unsure whether it is stress they are suffering from, or something more acute, it could be priceless.

 

[COYBL25]

I've always been of the opinion, that much like regular dentist check ups (and hopefully beyond..) annual counselling sessions/ welfare check up sessions for everybody would massively help at an early intervention stage. I know there would be budget issues, but at the end of the day I would say most people on average see their GP once a year- surely an investment of one person per GP surgery dedicated to mental health wouldn't be out of this world? If politicians really mean it when they say they want to equalise the amount of support for mental and physical illness, then for me a regular mental health check up would be a great chance for people to either be re-assured or get some primary counselling before things escalate?

We obviously know there's a misconception about it, so surely everybody being more aware of the issue would help across the board, and consequently help costs be reduced further down the line? What do you guys think? Would people bother to show up for it if they weren't 'ill'? Maybe not, but for those unsure whether it is stress they are suffering from, or something more acute, it could be priceless.

In a nut shell, prevention is better than cure / the application of a common sense approach.

Neither unfortunately appeals to Politicians, despite the many pre election sound bites coming from all of them !

 

[EvertonRhys]

In a nut shell, prevention is better than cure / the application of a common sense approach.

Neither unfortunately appeals to Politicians, despite the many pre election sound bites coming from all of them !

You're right there. If it doesn't fit into some broadscale argument aimed at reducing debt, immigration, benefits or whatever there is little chance of it being implemented. I've met a few politicians doing work for Time To Change and had plenty chats about mental health. Sadly after checking their voting patterns after chats, what they say and how they vote on mental health issues don't exactly match...

 

[DualityNSNO]

So, uhm. Not sure why I don't feel as bad as I probably should about this, but here goes.

So the last few days my gf was being distant, and I felt super bad about that as well as I thought I'd driven her away. This morning we sat down and talked and it turned out we were both unhappy - me because I've got my mental problems and I'm generally unhappy (especially with her being distant lately) and her with how *we* were lately. We ended up breaking up, sort of mutual agreement, as it just wasn't there, as cliched as it is - the spark wasn't the same anymore.

We obviously still love each other and will remain friends (plus we live in the same flat ffs, thank [Poor language removed] we have spare rooms!) for the foreseeable future, but I suppose that's one thing sort of more clear than before...

As I said I'm unsure how exactly I feel about this as I'm currently sleep deprived as well, so I'll probably update here soon anyway.

On the bright side, at least now I'm only left with the 99 problems... lol

 

[COYBL25]

So, uhm. Not sure why I don't feel as bad as I probably should about this, but here goes.

So the last few days my gf was being distant, and I felt super bad about that as well as I thought I'd driven her away. This morning we sat down and talked and it turned out we were both unhappy - me because I've got my mental problems and I'm generally unhappy (especially with her being distant lately) and her with how *we* were lately. We ended up breaking up, sort of mutual agreement, as it just wasn't there, as cliched as it is - the spark wasn't the same anymore.

We obviously still love each other and will remain friends (plus we live in the same flat ffs, thank [Poor language removed] we have spare rooms!) for the foreseeable future, but I suppose that's one thing sort of more clear than before...

As I said I'm unsure how exactly I feel about this as I'm currently sleep deprived as well, so I'll probably update here soon anyway.

On the bright side, at least now I'm only left with the 99 problems... lol

I had recently had a chat with my missus about my bad times and she said that she couldn't have lived with me the way I was indifinately, but her feeling like that tore her up with guilt, as she knew I was ill and wanted to support me. Fortunately we came through it and I think a big part of her hanging round was the kids to be honest . I get the feeling if we wouldn't have had the kids she may have bailed.

That's the thing with mental illness mate, it affects everyone around the sufferer, particularly their nearest and dearest.
From what you've posted there I wouldn't say your relationship is over yet, as it sounds that she may need some time to get her together to decide what she wants to do. What I would say is be repectful to her - don't start going out in the ale and coming in at all hours because your " single " again etc, as she may just want a bit of breathing space. Behaving like a single fella is only going to push her further away. ( hope that didn't sound to preachy as its not meant like that ).