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Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

Styles P Deadball said:
I can remember, DT, those first few days after my wife told me she wanted a divorce. Going into work was a struggle. Coming home was a struggle. I had to tell close friends at work because it was obvious that something was wrong with me, and just the act of letting people (whom I trusted) in made things a little better. Of course, then they got treated to the swing of emotions as I tried to deal with the upheaval those first few days.

As a teacher, when I was working with the kids, things were fine. You can sort of lose yourself in the activity of the moment. It's the idle moments that send one's mind to a million different places and are so tough to handle.

After the series of "firsts" are done, things will settle down into a semblance of normal. Once that happens, you can start moving forward again, even if only in little ways that only you notice.
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Totally agree with this. Been there
 
Durham Toffee said:
Been a bad couple of days, lads. Really bad. I've been at work, but my mask is slipping more and more each day. I'm not sleeping and, although my parents, my friends, you guys and the general support system around me has been amazing...I'm just rock bottom.

I miss my family. I miss my life.

I miss her voice and her smiles and I missing cooking for her on a night. I miss watching programmes together and laughing at silly things. I miss so many little things that, wherever I look, I think of her.

When it gets to the end of the work day and the kids go home, my heart aches. I know I am not going back to see my family. I know I'm slinking off to a makeshift room, set up for me in haste. I'm living out of suitcases and carrier bags. I'm in my thirties and I've got nothing all over again.

I miss her so much.
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Hi mate
Not posted for a while - totally understand this its horrible. I felt it was like grief - waves of aanxiety, stress, loss, depression, anger frustration and sheer emptiness. All I can say is it does get easier though know it probably doesnt feel like it. Are you speding much time with the little one ?? See her every day if you can
 
Durham Toffee said:
Been a bad couple of days, lads. Really bad. I've been at work, but my mask is slipping more and more each day. I'm not sleeping and, although my parents, my friends, you guys and the general support system around me has been amazing...I'm just rock bottom.

I miss my family. I miss my life.

I miss her voice and her smiles and I missing cooking for her on a night. I miss watching programmes together and laughing at silly things. I miss so many little things that, wherever I look, I think of her.

When it gets to the end of the work day and the kids go home, my heart aches. I know I am not going back to see my family. I know I'm slinking off to a makeshift room, set up for me in haste. I'm living out of suitcases and carrier bags. I'm in my thirties and I've got nothing all over again.

I miss her so much.
Click to expand...

Hi mate
Not posted for a while - totally understand this its horrible. I felt it was like grief - waves of aanxiety, stress, loss, depression, anger frustration and sheer emptiness. All I can say is it does get easier though know it probably doesnt feel like it. Are you speding much time with the little one ?? See her every day if you can
 
DualityNSNO said:
Also I know who the person is.

Also it has probably been going on for quite a long time, while we were together, which literally means she wanted to end it so that I don't get in the way, and that while she was theoretically still with me, she was practically with him. Brilliant.
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has happened to me twice - amazing how partners only become 'unhappy' with a relationship when they already have someone in the pipeline! Devious and dishonest. Be glad to be rid. Sort yourself out first then move on eventually- a hard road ahead though. Also yes most definitely confront her - let her feel guilty cos however hard life as been for her with your problems - she didn't do the right thing and she should know that
 
big bobs beard said:
has happened to me twice - amazing how partners only become 'unhappy' with a relationship when they already have someone in the pipeline! Devious and dishonest. Be glad to be rid. Sort yourself out first then move on eventually- a hard road ahead though. Also yes most definitely confront her - let her feel guilty cos however hard life as been for her with your problems - she didn't do the right thing and she should know that
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I tend to be of the opinion there is a time and place for everything.
Right now his focus should be on himself and his child. What is there to gain by an abusive confrontation?
Just a thought anyway.
 

Lads I wanna ask you a female-related problem (posting it in this thread because I have anxiety and depression problems... yeah it counts!!!).

I'm 22 and I've been with the same girl since I was about 17, but I just don't feel like she and I are gonna go anywhere and, to be honest, I want to "explore" a bit more...

My problem is that I reckon she's pretty keen on me and I still care about her, etc........

Thoughts?
 
AlE said:
Lads I wanna ask you a female-related problem (posting it in this thread because I have anxiety and depression problems... yeah it counts!!!).

I'm 22 and I've been with the same girl since I was about 17, but I just don't feel like she and I are gonna go anywhere and, to be honest, I want to "explore" a bit more...

My problem is that I reckon she's pretty keen on me and I still care about her, etc........

Thoughts?
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Ask yourself an honest question - do you love her ?.

If not you're just treading water until the inevitable happens.

Also depends what you mean by " going Somehere ". Where do you want it to go, where does she want it to go etc ?.

She must be a pretty sound girl as you've been with her for five years. At your age mate my average relationship lasted three months.

What I would say from experience is that the grass really isn't greener mate.
 
Just venting a bit ;)

To get slightly soppy, what I desire for most in life is to have a relationship in which I'm completely comfortable unloading what is on my mind. Always felt like I'm wearing a suit of armour, even among lifelong friends, previous girlfriends and family. It can cause problems, I guess a lot of the time, problems that only I'm aware of that can inevitably break down or obstruct relationships.

Perversely, I am fairly happy and confident with who I am and my intensely private nature, despite my awareness that this can be a problem in relationships, and maybe this is why I find it difficult to be more open as it just doesn't feel like me. I desire for something that seems impossible without changing who I am. It's rather strange.
 
big bobs beard said:
has happened to me twice - amazing how partners only become 'unhappy' with a relationship when they already have someone in the pipeline! Devious and dishonest. Be glad to be rid. Sort yourself out first then move on eventually- a hard road ahead though. Also yes most definitely confront her - let her feel guilty cos however hard life as been for her with your problems - she didn't do the right thing and she should know that
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Some women are akin to a tree monkey, they do not let go of one branch until they have a firm grip on the next ;)
 

Chin up all those suffering at the moment.

It literally is up and down moments. Just hold on through.

This monday have been doing some constructive things. That is always a good way of keeping the mind busy.

Doing that helps alot.
 
AlE said:
Lads I wanna ask you a female-related problem (posting it in this thread because I have anxiety and depression problems... yeah it counts!!!).

I'm 22 and I've been with the same girl since I was about 17, but I just don't feel like she and I are gonna go anywhere and, to be honest, I want to "explore" a bit more...

My problem is that I reckon she's pretty keen on me and I still care about her, etc........

Thoughts?
Click to expand...
Imagine her with another bloke if your ok with that move on if your not hold on to her dude
 
AlE said:
Lads I wanna ask you a female-related problem (posting it in this thread because I have anxiety and depression problems... yeah it counts!!!).

I'm 22 and I've been with the same girl since I was about 17, but I just don't feel like she and I are gonna go anywhere and, to be honest, I want to "explore" a bit more...

My problem is that I reckon she's pretty keen on me and I still care about her, etc........

Thoughts?
Click to expand...

Be honest. Be honest with her but also just as important be honest with yourself.

If you TRULY without rushing to it don't think its going anywhere and your relationship has run its course you need to make things amicable.


I had the complete opposite a complete sociopath of a woman who pretty much ruined my life. Trust me things can be a lot worse.

You just have to be sure about things. Plus make sure you act responsibly and mature about it.
 
Never popped into this thread before and I've just had a read of the last 5/6 pages.

I thought I had it bad for being in a long distance relationship where we see eachother every 2/3 months but clearly don't know the meaning of 'having it bad'.

Fair play to you guys/gals for opening up and to those offering help and advice. Here's me thinking this forum was only for wumming about everton or casual homosexuality...
 

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