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Hibbertinho
Player Valuation: £8m
Had a similar thing myself recently mate and I am also of similar age... I'd say it's a compromise between not acting rash and not over-thinking it. In all my efforts to keep things amicable it means that we are in a bit of a 'limbo' stage at the moment - that is, I still see a lot of her as she needs the support but we keep falling back into 'old habits'. I know that I am ready to move on, but she is still smitten with the ol' Hibberty.
Basically don't sacrifice a clean severance (which will make things easier in the future; being friends etc.) for being a total dildo like I did and f*cking things up further.
And this is good advice too.
wbn61
Player Valuation: £8m
feeling really down today. before I carry on this is going to be a nonsensical post so feel free to ignore. struggling to sleep past few nights so that may have something to do with my mood. just fed up with life at the moment, it just seems so monotonous. tried taking my mind off things by being on GOT posting, replying, liking etc etc but lots of things on here just remind me of better times. don't get me wrong that is a good thing. woke up late this morning to find my wife had left me a wedding anniversary card. I had completely forgotten. in my defence I didn't even know what the date was today lol. started doing my usual routine, housework !!!! but it was half hearted. luckily enough I didn't have to take the dog out my eldest son did that. as he should lol seeing as he is being paid as he is my carer. saves him having to go through all the stuff being on the dole entailed. two of my sons are working but the eldest and youngest aren't and that pees me off because as I am not working now I have lost the position I had in preaching to them about not making the effort and being the man of the house and looking after their families etc etc. a few of you may know my brother died a few weeks ago and that has been ?????? I don't know what word to use. my niece phoned me earlier asking if there was anything from the house I wanted. I didn't really know what to say just babbled that anything on the walls, pictures etc. nothing I really need everything I need about my brother is in my heart. but the pressure on me from my mum dad wife to survive and get through my illness is hard. I said this post is going to be nonsensical but I just need to talk. I talk a lot to myself (not aloud) but I just need to get it out sometimes and this thread allows me to do that. I was thinking of going to see my counselor but I know that she will listen, respond, advise, explain etc but as most of you with depression will admit this is me me me I don't want to hear others I just want to vent what is in my head. I will shut up now. maybe not for long lol as I have had a drink. silly me but I felt like it and makes me feel guilty as hell especially after my brothers problems.
Brave post mate and it does make sense even if you think it doesn't. This may sound condescending, so forgive me, but it's not meant to be. It sounds to me like everything that has been going on has come to a head now. I think it's time to go and get professional help - GP, will get the ball rolling. He / she will help you with the depression / insomnia and possibly bereavment issues.
Also have a look at this NHS run site - The Mental Health Forum. The online community on there are wonderfully supportive and there is a thread on there which relates to issues surrounding bereavement and mental health.
I think under the circumstances your missus will forgive you for forgetting your wedding anniversary !
Ps - Don't look for excuses to not take the dog out - it gets you out if the house even when you don't want to and that is a good thing mate.
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wbn61
Player Valuation: £8m
I know this is going to sound silly and pointless to most of you but we have 4 cats and a dog and they are a big part of the family. well this afternoon I had to take one of the cats to the vets because her breathing seemed funny. to cut a long story short we had to have her put to sleep. wife is devastated. im quite surprised how I felt. I stayed with her to the end and watched it all and I admit there was a lump in my throat. not been a good year up to now.
When's it gonna stop for you mate !
We had to have our dog of 12 yrs put down just before Christmas and it was devastating. People who haven't got pets won't get it, but it's a proper loss with real grief. My eldest lad was particularily bad and I've softened it for him by burying her in a proper grave in the woods by ours planting loads of bulbs on and around her grave. He goes with me now whenever he starts missing her or thinking about her. The grave is covered in flowers at the mo and I know it's really helping him as he tidys the grave whenever we go as he wants it to stay nice for her memory . May be something to do for your missus ?.
wbn61
Player Valuation: £8m
i'll see when she comes home from work. we had to phone her to get the decision to put molly down and she was in tears over the phone but understood it was the right thing to do. gotta be in my best comfort mode.
Elderly people in particular .
kithnou
Player Valuation: £70m
I found that in some cases pets are even better family members than most family members.
USABlue
Player Valuation: £70m
pretty good read here
http://espn.go.com/espn/feature/sto...ty-pennsylvania-runner-showed-only-part-story
Something I've struggled with a bit (luckily not the sucidial thoughts) is the whole putting on an act about it. Been doing that for years except for one close friend who I've grown apart from in the mean time. Dont think it's because of the depression thing, we just go to different unis, etc but outside of that friend I haven't even really discussed it with family.
http://espn.go.com/espn/feature/sto...ty-pennsylvania-runner-showed-only-part-story
Something I've struggled with a bit (luckily not the sucidial thoughts) is the whole putting on an act about it. Been doing that for years except for one close friend who I've grown apart from in the mean time. Dont think it's because of the depression thing, we just go to different unis, etc but outside of that friend I haven't even really discussed it with family.
trebilcock66
Player Valuation: £8m
Attended a brilliant seminar in Oxford this evening on Mindfulness. I know many posters on here have experience of this approach to mental health and believe in it's powers to help. I've read that the National Institute for Clinical Health (NICE) now recommend this type of therapy for depression sufferers. There's loads of stuff on the subject on the internet but any of us could worse than start here on the NHS website
http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/stress-anxiety-depression/pages/mindfulness.aspx
http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/stress-anxiety-depression/pages/mindfulness.aspx