Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

[airefc]

First post on here. Always lurking around on the forum. For a couple years. Always been an everton supporter of course! Just thought id start posting and mention that ive been in and out of the pain clinic since 2005. Had depression over getting something called costochondritis that wont go away and nerve pain in my back and fingers. Drives me nuts. Apart from this im healthy but before I was in the gym, swimming etc. Now I walk and that's about it. Relationships have all gone, cars gone, the life I was building for myself. I was doing quite focused CBT therapy and using the mindfulness practice described above. I found it very useful, just worried whats going to happen now to these services under this government. Sometimes I feel a bit suicidal but its all linked to getting pain. Im only 32 but its sort of invisible pain, other people cant see that there is anything wrong, even when I tried to claim something called esa they told me there was nothing wrong with me. Tried loads of steroid injections, nothings worked so far.

 

[kithnou]

First post on here. Always lurking around on the forum. For a couple years. Always been an everton supporter of course! Just thought id start posting and mention that ive been in and out of the pain clinic since 2005. Had depression over getting something called costochondritis that wont go away and nerve pain in my back and fingers. Drives me nuts. Apart from this im healthy but before I was in the gym, swimming etc. Now I walk and that's about it. Relationships have all gone, cars gone, the life I was building for myself. I was doing quite focused CBT therapy and using the mindfulness practice described above. I found it very useful, just worried whats going to happen now to these services under this government. Sometimes I feel a bit suicidal but its all linked to getting pain. Im only 32 but its sort of invisible pain, other people cant see that there is anything wrong, even when I tried to claim something called esa they told me there was nothing wrong with me. Tried loads of steroid injections, nothings worked so far.

Welcome to posting mate. Always welcome here. Tell us, are you speaking with a professional you feel comfortable with about your sometime suicidal thoughts. In fact about anything?

 

[COYBL25]

First post on here. Always lurking around on the forum. For a couple years. Always been an everton supporter of course! Just thought id start posting and mention that ive been in and out of the pain clinic since 2005. Had depression over getting something called costochondritis that wont go away and nerve pain in my back and fingers. Drives me nuts. Apart from this im healthy but before I was in the gym, swimming etc. Now I walk and that's about it. Relationships have all gone, cars gone, the life I was building for myself. I was doing quite focused CBT therapy and using the mindfulness practice described above. I found it very useful, just worried whats going to happen now to these services under this government. Sometimes I feel a bit suicidal but its all linked to getting pain. Im only 32 but its sort of invisible pain, other people cant see that there is anything wrong, even when I tried to claim something called esa they told me there was nothing wrong with me. Tried loads of steroid injections, nothings worked so far.

Hi mate, welcome to the thread.

Have you tried Pilates ?. The fella that invented it suffered from MS and was crippled by pain. He devised it out of desperation when conventional stuff didn't work. Also what about acupuncture ?. I've never given it ago myself, but I have a couple of mates who are Physios and they reckon it can work. Maybe once you've got the pain under control you can start rebuilding your old life ?.

 

[trebilcock66]

First post on here. Always lurking around on the forum. For a couple years. Always been an everton supporter of course! Just thought id start posting and mention that ive been in and out of the pain clinic since 2005. Had depression over getting something called costochondritis that wont go away and nerve pain in my back and fingers. Drives me nuts. Apart from this im healthy but before I was in the gym, swimming etc. Now I walk and that's about it. Relationships have all gone, cars gone, the life I was building for myself. I was doing quite focused CBT therapy and using the mindfulness practice described above. I found it very useful, just worried whats going to happen now to these services under this government. Sometimes I feel a bit suicidal but its all linked to getting pain. Im only 32 but its sort of invisible pain, other people cant see that there is anything wrong, even when I tried to claim something called esa they told me there was nothing wrong with me. Tried loads of steroid injections, nothings worked so far.

Some decent advice in the last two posts there.

But ultimately you may be looking at living with your new limitations. That's surely very difficult to do if you've lost the life you were planning for. You have my sympathy, for what it's worth.

I know some therapists will work with their patient to move toward acceptance of a difficult situation, rather than nurturing destructive thoughts such 'I wish I could have......' or 'If only......'

When I look at people such as para athletes and others who have battled with the loss of limbs or disability I understand that they've made a choice somewhere along the line. The choice to live.....to give themselves permission to be happy even though frustrated or in pain.

There's a brilliant story in Stephen Covey's book 7 Habits. The story of Viktor Frankl who survived the Nazi Deathcamps by choosing to live the best life he could within the limitations he was set. He wrote later that he had only one freedom left.....the freedom to choose how he dealt with the horrendous place he found himself.

When I'm feeling low or tearful or just dissatisfied, I try to remember that story.

Good luck mate. Keep posting here if it helps. And let's hope for a resounding victory this afternoon....

 

[shackattack]

most of us will suffer from depression at some stage of our lives and as most say it's nothing to be ashamed of. a conversation with someone who is empathic and has no link with the person can go a long way. even if its just to offload then do it. life does get easier and don't suffer in silence.

 

[airefc]

Thanks for the welcome and the replies. Shame about the odd result today...

Not currently speaking to anybody apart from occasionally using the KYOH online forum linked to the pain clinic. Mainly feel depressed when I want to be keeping fit or doing some press-ups or something. The very thing that lifts your mood and gives you confidence.

I also tried something called EMDR therapy. Yes have a combination of acupuncture and massage/ ultrasound at the chiropractor which can help a lot. Pilates is interesting, something I may give a go.

I suppose there is always somebody worse off than yourself no matter how hard it seems sometimes. I guess ive just sort of given up a bit, no income at present, post election disappointment (I realise not everyone is disappointed . Even going to somewhere like Goodison with all the people around seems unappealing, sit at home and watch it but not go out if I can get away with it!

Thanks guys

 

[COYBL25]

Thanks for the welcome and the replies. Shame about the odd result today...

Not currently speaking to anybody apart from occasionally using the KYOH online forum linked to the pain clinic. Mainly feel depressed when I want to be keeping fit or doing some press-ups or something. The very thing that lifts your mood and gives you confidence.

I also tried something called EMDR therapy. Yes have a combination of acupuncture and massage/ ultrasound at the chiropractor which can help a lot. Pilates is interesting, something I may give a go.

I suppose there is always somebody worse off than yourself no matter how hard it seems sometimes. I guess ive just sort of given up a bit, no income at present, post election disappointment (I realise not everyone is disappointed . Even going to somewhere like Goodison with all the people around seems unappealing, sit at home and watch it but not go out if I can get away with it!

Thanks guys

As your into KYOH, have a look at the MENTAL HEALTH FORUM - NHS run and incredibly diverse.
Do you have any interests that get you out and about ?. Something as simple as a daily walk, going to the gym, walking the dog can make a measurable difference when combined with therapy ?.

 

[DualityNSNO]

As your into KYOH, have a look at the MENTAL HEALTH FORUM - NHS run and incredibly diverse.
Do you have any interests that get you out and about ?. Something as simple as a daily walk, going to the gym, walking dog can make a measurable difference when combined with therapy ?.

Gotta agree here, I was also sh***ing myself whenever I had to go out but since then I've gone out for small walks even when I need things - going to the shop I'd take the long route there and back etc. It's not a big thing, but, at least for me, it made quite a difference!

 

[COYBL25]

Gotta agree here, I was also sh***ing myself whenever I had to go out but since then I've gone out for small walks even when I need things - going to the shop I'd take the long route there and back etc. It's not a big thing, but, at least for me, it made quite a difference!

Also, you end up talking to people when you're out, even if it's just to say " good morning " to a passer by or the people in the shop. Eventually given time going out doesn't seem so scary anymore.

 

[airefc]

Thanks will check out that forum.

Most of my interests/hobbies were just keeping fit, swimming, weights etc. Hope to get back to it one day....

I do like to have a dabble on some synthesizers/keyboards occasionally and I like listening to ambient radio stations like 'echoes of bluemars', for night time listening to help aid sleep when I feel stressed over things.

Sometimes I s**t myself just thinking of walking up the garden and the neighbours seeing me...but I agree a walk is good and I do get out in the evening for a walk round and its really nice and refreshing.

 

[COYBL25]

Thanks will check out that forum.

Most of my interests/hobbies were just keeping fit, swimming, weights etc. Hope to get back to it one day....

I do like to have a dabble on some synthesizers/keyboards occasionally and I like listening to ambient radio stations like 'echoes of bluemars', for night time listening to help aid sleep when I feel stressed over things.

Sometimes I s**t myself just thinking of walking up the garden and the neighbours seeing me...but I agree a walk is good and I do get out in the evening for a walk round and its really nice and refreshing.

This may sound strange, but have you thought about getting a dog ( if you haven't already ) ?.
A dog will always need a walk everyday and you can choose a walk where youre likely to meet other dog walkers or a route where you're less likely too. Gets you out of the house everyday and its almost impossible to take a dog out and not talk to someone - unless you don't want to. A dog won't judge you if you're having a rough day either.

 

[USABlue]

Some decent advice in the last two posts there.

But ultimately you may be looking at living with your new limitations. That's surely very difficult to do if you've lost the life you were planning for. You have my sympathy, for what it's worth.

I know some therapists will work with their patient to move toward acceptance of a difficult situation, rather than nurturing destructive thoughts such 'I wish I could have......' or 'If only......'

When I look at people such as para athletes and others who have battled with the loss of limbs or disability I understand that they've made a choice somewhere along the line. The choice to live.....to give themselves permission to be happy even though frustrated or in pain.

There's a brilliant story in Stephen Covey's book 7 Habits. The story of Viktor Frankl who survived the Nazi Deathcamps by choosing to live the best life he could within the limitations he was set. He wrote later that he had only one freedom left.....the freedom to choose how he dealt with the horrendous place he found himself.

When I'm feeling low or tearful or just dissatisfied, I try to remember that story.

Good luck mate. Keep posting here if it helps. And let's hope for a resounding victory this afternoon....

great point mate, ACT (Acceptance and Commitment) therapy is a decent option out there as like you said sometimes you can't change the negative situations but you can try to accept and work on moving from there "yeah I have this issue but it doesn't define me and I can take steps to overcome it"

 

[Groucho]

 

[Ashtonian]

Hi All, Was hoping to ramble a little bit and hope something makes sense.

Right now i have no idea whats going on with my mind, been feeling down all day for the silliest reason and after the last week i have had i don't know whether it was all connected.

Basically 7 days ago i contacted my sister from my (estranged since baby) dads side through facebook, which was the firs ttime we had ever spoke. she was absolutley made up to hear from me and we were calling each other and video calling and chatting. The initial shock and excitement of talking to each other after she had been searching for 11 years for me, the past 5 years or so. Friday night i decided on a whim to travel up there to Peterlee to meet her and spent the night over there, really enjoyed it, for an akward person like me i felt comfortable with her company and spoke a bit more honestly than i would have done anyone else. I came back sunday, relaxed with the family and then back to work monday. We have been keeping in touch since but i have not heard anything (offline and phone) in the past day. I dont know whether this is a trigger, the childish excitement of wanting to talk to her suddenly removed.

another trigger point could be she was meant to be coming to liverpool and told me tuesday she couldnt, but i cant help but think as she is offline since yesterday evening perhaps she did come after all and didnt tell me?

since the weekend i have been waking up before my alarm every morning which i havent done in a long time, the other day after only about 4 and a half hours sleep! i dont mean to, just waking up in a panic im late. Not too sure if theis is caused by having to catch coaches at the weekend though.

So yeah, its ramblings and makes me sound a bit mad but before i was really down all of a sudden and havent picked up since. no idea whats going on in my head or why i feel the way im feeling, almost as if i just want to get on the next train and go up there to see her. but then at the back of my mind im thinking she did come down here but didnt tell me which would be a little crushing after the 14 hours travel just to see her. Its been a life changing week to say the least anyway!

and to top that, on twitter i have had my biological dad chatting to me, revealing to me if nothing else that i have two more sisters!

Think my problem may be i dont process anything in a normal way so i take it all into my stride and dont think about it, especially when my long lost sister is chatting to me or my dad (the last person i thought id ever speak to) is revealing things to me, or that the strong gene in my dna is not my families but his. See all crazy little things all getting revealed all at once.

anothe rlittle part of me is that i have heard all the bad things my sister has been through and part of me wants to protect her, just take her from it all and be a good big brother to make up for all the years but then im scared in case i come accross as wierd or say something that puts her off me or whatever else. Conflicting feelings.

So sorry for the ramble, its just thoughts threw about here. just scared and worried about silly things which is getting to me apparently and on top of all the life changing 7 days i have just been through.

 

[Bungle]

Hi All, Was hoping to ramble a little bit and hope something makes sense.

Right now i have no idea whats going on with my mind, been feeling down all day for the silliest reason and after the last week i have had i don't know whether it was all connected.

Basically 7 days ago i contacted my sister from my (estranged since baby) dads side through facebook, which was the firs ttime we had ever spoke. she was absolutley made up to hear from me and we were calling each other and video calling and chatting. The initial shock and excitement of talking to each other after she had been searching for 11 years for me, the past 5 years or so. Friday night i decided on a whim to travel up there to Peterlee to meet her and spent the night over there, really enjoyed it, for an akward person like me i felt comfortable with her company and spoke a bit more honestly than i would have done anyone else. I came back sunday, relaxed with the family and then back to work monday. We have been keeping in touch since but i have not heard anything (offline and phone) in the past day. I dont know whether this is a trigger, the childish excitement of wanting to talk to her suddenly removed.

another trigger point could be she was meant to be coming to liverpool and told me tuesday she couldnt, but i cant help but think as she is offline since yesterday evening perhaps she did come after all and didnt tell me?

since the weekend i have been waking up before my alarm every morning which i havent done in a long time, the other day after only about 4 and a half hours sleep! i dont mean to, just waking up in a panic im late. Not too sure if theis is caused by having to catch coaches at the weekend though.

So yeah, its ramblings and makes me sound a bit mad but before i was really down all of a sudden and havent picked up since. no idea whats going on in my head or why i feel the way im feeling, almost as if i just want to get on the next train and go up there to see her. but then at the back of my mind im thinking she did come down here but didnt tell me which would be a little crushing after the 14 hours travel just to see her. Its been a life changing week to say the least anyway!

and to top that, on twitter i have had my biological dad chatting to me, revealing to me if nothing else that i have two more sisters!

Think my problem may be i dont process anything in a normal way so i take it all into my stride and dont think about it, especially when my long lost sister is chatting to me or my dad (the last person i thought id ever speak to) is revealing things to me, or that the strong gene in my dna is not my families but his. See all crazy little things all getting revealed all at once.

anothe rlittle part of me is that i have heard all the bad things my sister has been through and part of me wants to protect her, just take her from it all and be a good big brother to make up for all the years but then im scared in case i come accross as wierd or say something that puts her off me or whatever else. Conflicting feelings.

So sorry for the ramble, its just thoughts threw about here. just scared and worried about silly things which is getting to me apparently and on top of all the life changing 7 days i have just been through.

I know it's easy to say mate but try and take things a little slower, I had pretty much the same situation and found my sister when I was about 17, spoke to her on the phone a few times and excitement got the better of me so I jumped on a train to go and meet her without any warning. She was initially over the moon but as things settled I think it was all a bit to full on for her and I eventually lost contact with her again and haven't seen her since.

You've got plenty of time to find out about each other and see each other, no need to do it all in the space of a few weeks, just try to keep in regular contact and make sure she knows you're about if she needs you, but don't force it because that's generally when it goes tits up.