Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

[bizzaro]

This thread is really inspirational. Some of the stories and experiences that people are talking about are mind blowing and informative. I've been aware that I've been suffering from issues for some time and it's through reading some of these posts that I've been able to see that the problems are normal and can be dealt with and that I'm not isolated. After that I've spoken to many friends and it's hard to believe how many people are really struggling and fighting. We all experience loss and find things difficult to deal with. It's often seen as a kind of macho strength to come through and not seek help as people who are suffering may think it's a show of weakness. It's not. A counsellor on the phone told me 'your strength is your weakness' and never have words rang more true.
Not wishing to gender stereo type but football is traditionally a male dominated pastime. Articles such as this
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-17325174
highlight the problems of problems many guys have with accepting problems. This thread has helped reach out to many people and I guarantee there are people watching and reading this who have never posted.
Anyways my point is this. Have the mods considered speaking to other football websites or contacts they may have about setting up similar threads? I think it could really be the start of something special.
Thanks

People are not machines. They're human. 'No man is an island unto himself'

And so on. It is normal. Its about recognising it and dealing with it in a way that is best for the person.

In some cases it really does mean leaving (where you are now) and going and doing something else.
People are pushed pushed pushed for success in everything they do in modern society.

When in reality people can have 'success' in other ways and nobody should judge them.

Other personal problems can also be usually dealt with with a few minor adjustments. People just need support to make them more often than not.

 

[COYBL25]

People are not machines. They're human. 'No man is an island unto himself'

And so on. It is normal. Its about recognising it and dealing with it in a way that is best for the person.

In some cases it really does mean leaving (where you are now) and going and doing something else.
People are pushed pushed pushed for success in everything they do in modern society.

When in reality people can have 'success' in other ways and nobody should judge them.

Other personal problems can also be usually dealt with with a few minor adjustments. People just need support to make them more often than not.

Spot on mate. " Success " is a very subjective term. I'm a firm believer that happiness comes before success. Unfortunately happiness seems to be very low down on the list for our society.

 

[JimmyJeffers]

People are not machines. They're human. 'No man is an island unto himself'

And so on. It is normal. Its about recognising it and dealing with it in a way that is best for the person.

In some cases it really does mean leaving (where you are now) and going and doing something else.
People are pushed pushed pushed for success in everything they do in modern society.

When in reality people can have 'success' in other ways and nobody should judge them.

Other personal problems can also be usually dealt with with a few minor adjustments. People just need support to make them more often than not.

As close to a perfect post as you're gonna get. Excellent stuff

 

[Deleted member 28206]

This thread is really inspirational. Some of the stories and experiences that people are talking about are mind blowing and informative. I've been aware that I've been suffering from issues for some time and it's through reading some of these posts that I've been able to see that the problems are normal and can be dealt with and that I'm not isolated. After that I've spoken to many friends and it's hard to believe how many people are really struggling and fighting. We all experience loss and find things difficult to deal with. It's often seen as a kind of macho strength to come through and not seek help as people who are suffering may think it's a show of weakness. It's not. A counsellor on the phone told me 'your strength is your weakness' and never have words rang more true.
Not wishing to gender stereo type but football is traditionally a male dominated pastime. Articles such as this
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-17325174
highlight the problems of problems many guys have with accepting problems. This thread has helped reach out to many people and I guarantee there are people watching and reading this who have never posted.
Anyways my point is this. Have the mods considered speaking to other football websites or contacts they may have about setting up similar threads? I think it could really be the start of something special.
Thanks

RAWK have a similar thread

http://www.redandwhitekop.com/forum/index.php?PHPSESSID=q5khqttjh2uiqp6kdp3ggibv07&topic=259330.0

 

[kithnou]

RAWK have a similar thread

http://www.redandwhitekop.com/forum/index.php?PHPSESSID=q5khqttjh2uiqp6kdp3ggibv07&topic=259330.0

Great to see. Who knows. We may be able to cooperate with them after all

 

[moyeslovechild]

while it's no judgement on the 1s that don't i reckon every decent sized site should have a thread like this really. they go to show what a force for good the internet can be.

 

[hallamblue]

I think for men it's important to have a thread like this. I've been struggling with anxiety issues for the past 3 years, which, coupled with some other stress and a bit of a midlife crisis has left me in a bad place. I've just started seeing a councillor, which is helping. I don't have other men I can confide in, as I don't have any friends in Sheffield, and I'm disconnected from my "tribe" other than on this website. I'm currently reading a book called Manhood by Steve Biddulph recommended by the councillor. It is really helping me see that I'm not the only one struggling with trying to be a father, a husband, a worker and a "new man". Just by knowing this, some of the stress is lifted.

 

[COYBL25]

I think for men it's important to have a thread like this. I've been struggling with anxiety issues for the past 3 years, which, coupled with some other stress and a bit of a midlife crisis has left me in a bad place. I've just started seeing a councillor, which is helping. I don't have other men I can confide in, as I don't have any friends in Sheffield, and I'm disconnected from my "tribe" other than on this website. I'm currently reading a book called Manhood by Steve Biddulph recommended by the councillor. It is really helping me see that I'm not the only one struggling with trying to be a father, a husband, a worker and a "new man". Just by knowing this, some of the stress is lifted.

Have you had a look to see what the local mental health charities in Sheffield offer mate ?.

Quite often they will run what's called a " Befriending Service " for men. In a nut shell they hook you up with a volunteer that they think is suited to you as a person who will listen to you without judgement. Most of the volunteers have had problems themselves and want to Guve something back . There is a memtal health charity in Liveroool called - IMAGINE that provides this service and they definitely have offices outside Merseyside, so that couid be a starting point ?.

The mere act of unloading to a stranger outside of your family, friends, work etc can be so helpful mate.

 

[hallamblue]

Have you had a look to see what the local mental health charities in Sheffield offer mate ?.

Quite often they will run what's called a " Befriending Service " for men. In a nut shell they hook you up with a volunteer that they think is suited to you as a person who will listen to you without judgement. Most of the volunteers have had problems themselves and want to Guve something back . There is a memtal health charity in Liveroool called - IMAGINE that provides this service and they definitely have offices outside Merseyside, so that couid be a starting point ?.

The mere act of unloading to a stranger outside of your family, friends, work etc can be so helpful mate.

That is really true. I'm lucky to have a mum who, not only has listened to me, but is also paying for the counselling, which is great because I have quite a busy life with kids and a partner who works evenings and weekends so I only have a short window of time in which I can talk to someone. The councillor listens to me and summarises what I've said and then interprets it. I think it's helping, and I'm gradually having more good days than bad.

 

[COYBL25]

That is really true. I'm lucky to have a mum who, not only has listened to me, but is also paying for the counselling, which is great because I have quite a busy life with kids and a partner who works evenings and weekends so I only have a short window of time in which I can talk to someone. The councillor listens to me and summarises what I've said and then interprets it. I think it's helping, and I'm gradually having more good days than bad.

Great stuff, don't completely dismiss someone from outside though as sometimes you can talk about personal stuff better with a stranger.

 

[hallamblue]

Great stuff, don't completely dismiss someone from outside though as sometimes you can talk about personal stuff better with a stranger.

I can use online bits and pieces for some things, like this site and some others for CBT, and then the councillor for more focused personal issues that she can help me through. I do miss having someone to go to the pub with though, what seems at the time like a trivial thing can become important when you don't do it. I know my best mate from back on Merseyside misses it as well.

 

[kithnou]

Have you had a look to see what the local mental health charities in Sheffield offer mate ?.

Quite often they will run what's called a " Befriending Service " for men. In a nut shell they hook you up with a volunteer that they think is suited to you as a person who will listen to you without judgement. Most of the volunteers have had problems themselves and want to Guve something back . There is a memtal health charity in Liveroool called - IMAGINE that provides this service and they definitely have offices outside Merseyside, so that couid be a starting point ?.

The mere act of unloading to a stranger outside of your family, friends, work etc can be so helpful mate.

So this. I would imagine that there is much less of a stigma or, embarrassment for lack of a better word, attached to opening up to a stranger or an online forum.

 

[hibbos left peg]

Suffered alot with clinical depression throughout my 20's. Handled it relatively well over the last thru years, but i feel myself slipping back.
the reason in posting here today is last night i dreamt i killed someone, i don't mean ran over i mean murdered, could smell the blood it was so real, proper [Poor language removed] with my head

cant understand what it represents

 

[Groucho]

Suffered alot with clinical depression throughout my 20's. Handled it relatively well over the last thru years, but i feel myself slipping back.
the reason in posting here today is last night i dreamt i killed someone, i don't mean ran over i mean murdered, could smell the blood it was so real, proper [Poor language removed] with my head

cant understand what it represents

I wouldn't read anything into dreams, it's just your brain sorting stuff out.

It's good you've recognised that you may be relapsing though.

 

[COYBL25]

Suffered alot with clinical depression throughout my 20's. Handled it relatively well over the last thru years, but i feel myself slipping back.
the reason in posting here today is last night i dreamt i killed someone, i don't mean ran over i mean murdered, could smell the blood it was so real, proper [Poor language removed] with my head

cant understand what it represents

If you feel yourself slipping mate, go and see your GP pronto ( if you haven't been already ). You may be able to nip it in the bud before it gets too bad ?.

Ps - any idea what's caused you to slip back ?. Possible starting point ?