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Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

DualityNSNO said:
Well, hi again. Long time no write (about me at least).

Things have been going decent recently - I've been back in Bulgaria since Monday, beer here is great and cheap, my dad's here and I'm up and down with him driving (he's a distributor) along the Black Sea's coast, feeling somewhat relaxed/relieved. Gonna meet some friends next week as well when I'm back at my hometown, probably make a little viewing party for the Everton games on the weekend (which are on TV here!).

Then, today, while just having a pint at a cafe/bar, a song on the radio that I thought there was a 0% chance of hearing here reminded me of a special someone. And I know how stupid and cliched this sounds, but I genuinely mean it - she was my everything, but I was... stupid. And realised both of those too late. Genuinely regret losing her, and we're still in contact and everything and chat every so often, but I know she's not interested and that hurts me a lot (but I do understand it) and I also know there's plenty of fish in the sea, but I feel like she was my sea, rather than a fish in it. Cliche central, I know.

I genuinely miss her and that makes me feel like absolute [Poor language removed], because I know it's not and it shouldn't be a mutual feeling.

I know it's stupid and I'm young and all that, for which I'm sorry, but I just needed someone to share this with; get it off my chest, in a way. I'm just reminded a lot here of a certain time when I was also a younger, careless and happy chap with a pretty girl just going around places doing naff all... Time gone that I'll never get back I suppose...

FFS.

Off to sleep now, busy workday tomorrow in the heat... Sorry about this again.

Hope everyone is doing great :)

**the "her" in here is not the now-ex I broke up with a few pages back, if people remember that.
Click to expand...
No need to be sorry about posting mate. It's always good to get things off your chest.

I obviously don't know much about the girl you're talking about but it's clear you care about her. I would suggest trying to sort things out with her and hope for the best. It's completely up to you what you do however.
 
DualityNSNO said:
Well, hi again. Long time no write (about me at least).

Things have been going decent recently - I've been back in Bulgaria since Monday, beer here is great and cheap, my dad's here and I'm up and down with him driving (he's a distributor) along the Black Sea's coast, feeling somewhat relaxed/relieved. Gonna meet some friends next week as well when I'm back at my hometown, probably make a little viewing party for the Everton games on the weekend (which are on TV here!).

Then, today, while just having a pint at a cafe/bar, a song on the radio that I thought there was a 0% chance of hearing here reminded me of a special someone. And I know how stupid and cliched this sounds, but I genuinely mean it - she was my everything, but I was... stupid. And realised both of those too late. Genuinely regret losing her, and we're still in contact and everything and chat every so often, but I know she's not interested and that hurts me a lot (but I do understand it) and I also know there's plenty of fish in the sea, but I feel like she was my sea, rather than a fish in it. Cliche central, I know.

I genuinely miss her and that makes me feel like absolute [Poor language removed], because I know it's not and it shouldn't be a mutual feeling.

I know it's stupid and I'm young and all that, for which I'm sorry, but I just needed someone to share this with; get it off my chest, in a way. I'm just reminded a lot here of a certain time when I was also a younger, careless and happy chap with a pretty girl just going around places doing naff all... Time gone that I'll never get back I suppose...

FFS.

Off to sleep now, busy workday tomorrow in the heat... Sorry about this again.

Hope everyone is doing great :)

**the "her" in here is not the now-ex I broke up with a few pages back, if people remember that.
Click to expand...


I hate to say this mate, but whilst you're still in touch with this girl, these feelings aren't going to go away. My advice would be to break contact, as all your doing is torturing yourself by looking backwards rather than looking forwards.

Sorry to sound so harsh.
 
COYBL25 said:
I hate to say this mate, but whilst you're still in touch with this girl, these feelings aren't going to go away. My advice would be to break contact, as all your doing is torturing yourself by looking backwards rather than looking forwards.

Sorry to sound so harsh.
Click to expand...
I guess he could have a mature relationship as friends too. It depends on the individual.

If DNSNO is remaining friends on the off chance or hope that it will develop further, then I think COYBL is right.
 
DualityNSNO said:
Well, hi again. Long time no write (about me at least).

Things have been going decent recently - I've been back in Bulgaria since Monday, beer here is great and cheap, my dad's here and I'm up and down with him driving (he's a distributor) along the Black Sea's coast, feeling somewhat relaxed/relieved. Gonna meet some friends next week as well when I'm back at my hometown, probably make a little viewing party for the Everton games on the weekend (which are on TV here!).

Then, today, while just having a pint at a cafe/bar, a song on the radio that I thought there was a 0% chance of hearing here reminded me of a special someone. And I know how stupid and cliched this sounds, but I genuinely mean it - she was my everything, but I was... stupid. And realised both of those too late. Genuinely regret losing her, and we're still in contact and everything and chat every so often, but I know she's not interested and that hurts me a lot (but I do understand it) and I also know there's plenty of fish in the sea, but I feel like she was my sea, rather than a fish in it. Cliche central, I know.

I genuinely miss her and that makes me feel like absolute [Poor language removed], because I know it's not and it shouldn't be a mutual feeling.

I know it's stupid and I'm young and all that, for which I'm sorry, but I just needed someone to share this with; get it off my chest, in a way. I'm just reminded a lot here of a certain time when I was also a younger, careless and happy chap with a pretty girl just going around places doing naff all... Time gone that I'll never get back I suppose...

FFS.

Off to sleep now, busy workday tomorrow in the heat... Sorry about this again.

Hope everyone is doing great :)

**the "her" in here is not the now-ex I broke up with a few pages back, if people remember that.
Click to expand...

Nothing wrong with any of that, but the painful reality is people who you want you in their life generally make an effort to do so, despite the mistakes in the process. I would move on, i've had this happen to me and it was equally as painful.
 

a little bit un orthodox so i will ask before proceeding but could i get some advice on a couple of people in my life in regards ti mental health?
 
COYBL25 said:
I hate to say this mate, but whilst you're still in touch with this girl, these feelings aren't going to go away. My advice would be to break contact, as all your doing is torturing yourself by looking backwards rather than looking forwards.

Sorry to sound so harsh.
Click to expand...

This. Ive gone through something similar myself with someone for the last 5 years. We were friends, we dated a couple of times, didnt work and we broke up. I unfortunately always liked him a lot more than he liked me. And I could have dealt with that and got over it in time, especially as he always insisted he wanted to be friends. But then as much as I try to move on, he always turns up leaving breadcrumbs of hope here and there, even though Ive now sworn off ever getting involved with him like that because I just cant be hurt by him again. We were getting on really well the last few weeks, like really well, asked me did I want to have a day out at Blackpool as we havent seen each other in a while and I was all for that. Then he started getting flirty over the next few days, before asking me did I want to stay over. Another breadcrumb, and I cant take it any more. Ive told him I cant and Ive spent 5 years getting progressively messier in the head when it comes to the opposite sex (okay, I was always crap at it, but Ive definitely got worse and worse over the 5 years Ive known him!), he is bad for me and Im erasing him from my life. I simply dont matter to him the way he matters to me. So Ive done it, Facebook and Twitter blocked, asked him not to text or contact me on the phone and this is the first day of moving on. Ive said that a few times in the last 5 years, but I think I mean it this time, because it wasnt hard to do, he's hurt me that much this time. Today has been good, kept busy trying to distract myself from it doing some cooking and Im going out to my mates later. One day at a time, and if I start missing him, Ive still got the texts to reread to prove Im deluding myself.
 

Smudge1985 said:
This. Ive gone through something similar myself with someone for the last 5 years. We were friends, we dated a couple of times, didnt work and we broke up. I unfortunately always liked him a lot more than he liked me. And I could have dealt with that and got over it in time, especially as he always insisted he wanted to be friends. But then as much as I try to move on, he always turns up leaving breadcrumbs of hope here and there, even though Ive now sworn off ever getting involved with him like that because I just cant be hurt by him again. We were getting on really well the last few weeks, like really well, asked me did I want to have a day out at Blackpool as we havent seen each other in a while and I was all for that. Then he started getting flirty over the next few days, before asking me did I want to stay over. Another breadcrumb, and I cant take it any more. Ive told him I cant and Ive spent 5 years getting progressively messier in the head when it comes to the opposite sex (okay, I was always crap at it, but Ive definitely got worse and worse over the 5 years Ive known him!), he is bad for me and Im erasing him from my life. I simply dont matter to him the way he matters to me. So Ive done it, Facebook and Twitter blocked, asked him not to text or contact me on the phone and this is the first day of moving on. Ive said that a few times in the last 5 years, but I think I mean it this time, because it wasnt hard to do, he's hurt me that much this time. Today has been good, kept busy trying to distract myself from it doing some cooking and Im going out to my mates later. One day at a time, and if I start missing him, Ive still got the texts to reread to prove Im deluding myself.
Click to expand...

I always struggle to 'let go'/'move on' - in a way that isn't particularly intrusive to the people in question - and I think it's because I'm never brave enough to take that step of severing all contact, because I don't value myself enough... or something. I think I rationalise it by telling myself that it would be OTT and that it would be a bit juvenile and unwarranted... I like to think of myself as someone who can remain friends with and be civilised with people, but it isn't necessarily viable with everyone and definitely compounds my misery a bit, aha.

So well done on taking that brave step - it won't be an easy ride, but I wish you the best of luck.
 
Smudge1985 said:
This. Ive gone through something similar myself with someone for the last 5 years. We were friends, we dated a couple of times, didnt work and we broke up. I unfortunately always liked him a lot more than he liked me. And I could have dealt with that and got over it in time, especially as he always insisted he wanted to be friends. But then as much as I try to move on, he always turns up leaving breadcrumbs of hope here and there, even though Ive now sworn off ever getting involved with him like that because I just cant be hurt by him again. We were getting on really well the last few weeks, like really well, asked me did I want to have a day out at Blackpool as we havent seen each other in a while and I was all for that. Then he started getting flirty over the next few days, before asking me did I want to stay over. Another breadcrumb, and I cant take it any more. Ive told him I cant and Ive spent 5 years getting progressively messier in the head when it comes to the opposite sex (okay, I was always crap at it, but Ive definitely got worse and worse over the 5 years Ive known him!), he is bad for me and Im erasing him from my life. I simply dont matter to him the way he matters to me. So Ive done it, Facebook and Twitter blocked, asked him not to text or contact me on the phone and this is the first day of moving on. Ive said that a few times in the last 5 years, but I think I mean it this time, because it wasnt hard to do, he's hurt me that much this time. Today has been good, kept busy trying to distract myself from it doing some cooking and Im going out to my mates later. One day at a time, and if I start missing him, Ive still got the texts to reread to prove Im deluding myself.
Click to expand...

Good for you mate, he's messing with your head, because he knows of your feelings for him. Some people get off on the hold that they can have over people . It's going to be hard getting him out of your system, but eventually he'll move on to another victim to mess with. Don't beat yourself up about the way you feel about him, I'm sure most on here have fallen for the wrong person at some point in their lives, heaven knows I have !.
 
Ashtonian said:
a little bit un orthodox so i will ask before proceeding but could i get some advice on a couple of people in my life in regards ti mental health?
Click to expand...

Remember that the best thing for anyone to do in the first instance is to see a professional - which I am not, but have personal experience of 'stuff'. This should not be considered an adequate substitute for professional help/advice - but you're in the right thread (which is for everyone), so fire away!
 

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