wbn61
Player Valuation: £8m
fire away it does help to get things started.
The Esk
Player Valuation: £70m
I think a lot of people were concerned for him mate, sorry to hear you've had a tough day, any particular reason?
wbn61
Player Valuation: £8m
not today in particular just the day I thought f it. just felt liked getting drunk.
The Esk
Player Valuation: £70m
Fair enough mate, look after yourself, and I hope tomorrow is a better day for you
Solid advice lads, and I can write a lot more, but I don't really want to right now. Busy day here so bedtime soon. Long story short is that I'm not holding on to the offchance, I just adore the person and the personality, but I'm painfully aware nothing will ever happen, and it's better that way. For her. She deserves to be happy.
Oh well, life goes on yeah? :/
Glad that l4 is back and okay though, that's awesome news!
Oh well, life goes on yeah? :/
Glad that l4 is back and okay though, that's awesome news!
Kendall's Dream
Player Valuation: £10m
Don't kick yourself down mate, all of it is in the past. You say she deserves to be happy, which is fine, but so do you. This situation doesn't seem like it is making you happy and you should (if you want..) think about yourself ahead of others. Sorry for sounding blunt but to become happier you will have to take action, it doesn't sound like you can keep the same situation as it is, imo it needs to be 'settled'. Either move on or go for it, if yes great if not, move on.Solid advice lads, and I can write a lot more, but I don't really want to right now. Busy day here so bedtime soon. Long story short is that I'm not holding on to the offchance, I just adore the person and the personality, but I'm painfully aware nothing will ever happen, and it's better that way. For her. She deserves to be happy.
Oh well, life goes on yeah? :/
Glad that l4 is back and okay though, that's awesome news!
As I've said before I don't know much and it's completely up to you, but from what you've wrote it sounds like you do have to move on.
Have a good sleep
Ashtonian
Banned on request
ok. there are two people in my life that need help but i feel i am limited to what i can do about them, for different reasons.
the first is my brother in law. he has depression, talking to a guy i know in work who says he suffers from it he highlighted straight away what it was. He has quit everything he has always done, ran himself in debt with Bright house and the like, gained weight, claims to have all these plans all the time but never follows through with them, even recently we got him work lined up and he didnt ring them up on more than one occasion. There are all other things as well, very emotional about things, stays in ours and watches prawns every time he is left in a room by himself which became an issue for me now! (i know that sounds silly). He recently went the doctors and they said he was stressed so now thats what he thinks he has, when i and his sister can see there is deeper problems there, even my sister suggests bi polar perhaps being there. I cant just confront him but him going to get help has led him wrongly diagnosed (clearly didnt explain everything he does) and now i know he wont listen if you kept telling him its depression. He also doesnt go out with friends, still a virgin (at 21) and snaps at people round him (being first born boy means he can get away with it). so yeah, i dont know what to do as i want to help him but i dont feel telling him will get anywhere.
The othe rperson in my life is someone i recently got in touch with, my sister. We share the same dad but the whole situation is a bit off so to speak. Her upbringing has been bad, her mum was never there for her, she saw her nan and grandad as her parents. She has a younger brother who is in prison, who she sees as a son. Her fella she is with they arent technically togehter, they have had a fair bit of heartbreak involving kids (8 misscarrages) but have 2 sons still. Her dad (our dad) lives in scotland and only sees her twice a year, where that family isnt welcoming to her and dad in all of this is not very caring about issues she has. So pretty much everyone is like a something to her and recently her nan died so she is grieving and feels like she has no purpose in life. what make sit such an issue is that she claims to be in love with someone else which she told me about the other day. This guy is similar upbringing, except foster care, close to his nan and gets along really well with her brother. Aparantly he is great with her, really loving and great with the kids, more than their dad. Only problem (and for me), he is in prison. Seems a repeat offender of burglary, been in a car smash and apparent emotional issues regarding his upbringing. she explained why he done the things he done and he is trying to get help inside for it so he can be there for her, but i am not so convinced. This guy clearly is a repeat offender and turns out her version of going after a drug dealer and getting the wrong house was a little bit off, he actually broke into 3 homes, one on christmas day! High on drugs (Diazepam) also being a reason. What i am scared about is that she is head over heels with this guy and even mentioned marrying him in prison and asking if i would go, but predicting the future, he clearly isnt going to just reform from the life he already knows, and probably do it again, whether they had money toruble or whatever else. I know there is no guarantee of that but take my sister aside you would describe this guy as scum and wouldnt want to know them. I know my partner woud feel negatively around them and the knock on effect is visiting each other in that regard. I cant get involved becaue despite being brother and sister we have only been in touch for around 4 months and only met once. There is a massive distance between us so to speak so i cant go and visit whenever i want to. But at the same time i know all of this is affected by her past and it changes her thoughts and feelings to a small extent so if i told her to stay away she would do the opposite. I just dont want her to commit her life to him only to see him abandon them again without me being able to do anything.
the first is my brother in law. he has depression, talking to a guy i know in work who says he suffers from it he highlighted straight away what it was. He has quit everything he has always done, ran himself in debt with Bright house and the like, gained weight, claims to have all these plans all the time but never follows through with them, even recently we got him work lined up and he didnt ring them up on more than one occasion. There are all other things as well, very emotional about things, stays in ours and watches prawns every time he is left in a room by himself which became an issue for me now! (i know that sounds silly). He recently went the doctors and they said he was stressed so now thats what he thinks he has, when i and his sister can see there is deeper problems there, even my sister suggests bi polar perhaps being there. I cant just confront him but him going to get help has led him wrongly diagnosed (clearly didnt explain everything he does) and now i know he wont listen if you kept telling him its depression. He also doesnt go out with friends, still a virgin (at 21) and snaps at people round him (being first born boy means he can get away with it). so yeah, i dont know what to do as i want to help him but i dont feel telling him will get anywhere.
The othe rperson in my life is someone i recently got in touch with, my sister. We share the same dad but the whole situation is a bit off so to speak. Her upbringing has been bad, her mum was never there for her, she saw her nan and grandad as her parents. She has a younger brother who is in prison, who she sees as a son. Her fella she is with they arent technically togehter, they have had a fair bit of heartbreak involving kids (8 misscarrages) but have 2 sons still. Her dad (our dad) lives in scotland and only sees her twice a year, where that family isnt welcoming to her and dad in all of this is not very caring about issues she has. So pretty much everyone is like a something to her and recently her nan died so she is grieving and feels like she has no purpose in life. what make sit such an issue is that she claims to be in love with someone else which she told me about the other day. This guy is similar upbringing, except foster care, close to his nan and gets along really well with her brother. Aparantly he is great with her, really loving and great with the kids, more than their dad. Only problem (and for me), he is in prison. Seems a repeat offender of burglary, been in a car smash and apparent emotional issues regarding his upbringing. she explained why he done the things he done and he is trying to get help inside for it so he can be there for her, but i am not so convinced. This guy clearly is a repeat offender and turns out her version of going after a drug dealer and getting the wrong house was a little bit off, he actually broke into 3 homes, one on christmas day! High on drugs (Diazepam) also being a reason. What i am scared about is that she is head over heels with this guy and even mentioned marrying him in prison and asking if i would go, but predicting the future, he clearly isnt going to just reform from the life he already knows, and probably do it again, whether they had money toruble or whatever else. I know there is no guarantee of that but take my sister aside you would describe this guy as scum and wouldnt want to know them. I know my partner woud feel negatively around them and the knock on effect is visiting each other in that regard. I cant get involved becaue despite being brother and sister we have only been in touch for around 4 months and only met once. There is a massive distance between us so to speak so i cant go and visit whenever i want to. But at the same time i know all of this is affected by her past and it changes her thoughts and feelings to a small extent so if i told her to stay away she would do the opposite. I just dont want her to commit her life to him only to see him abandon them again without me being able to do anything.
I've never been in this thread before but it's heartwarming to see this. It shows what a community this place is, two years ago I was at my lowest and the kind words and advice from people here helped me out immeasurably.
Regarding Ashtonian, I'm probably not the best to talk to about this stuff, but I do know a similar problem with the brother in law. Have you spoken to him about it, just you and him? Does he get aggressive at all, or would he if you did?
Regarding Ashtonian, I'm probably not the best to talk to about this stuff, but I do know a similar problem with the brother in law. Have you spoken to him about it, just you and him? Does he get aggressive at all, or would he if you did?
Ashtonian
Banned on request
he would lsiten to me and immediatly not do anything about it afterwards. Offered him advice in the past and he has never done anything about it over whatever it was
That sounds familiar. Does he have anyone constant in his life? People he talks to every day, yourself included?
Ashtonian
Banned on request
just his close family (mum dad brother sisters). Apart from signing on or the course he was recently doing then half the time he would stay in the house, sleeping at random times as well, so sleeping during the day and up til all hours of a night.
GwladysBlue
Player Valuation: £70m
Just feeling a bit fed up today. I've failed my driving test for the 4th time! I keep letting anxiety get the better of me when I'm doing it and making stupid mistakes. I've had two driving instructors and they've both said in really good at driving and can piss it. That makes it a lot worse knowing that it is a problem in my head.
Work are putting me under enormous pressure to pass as well.
Work are putting me under enormous pressure to pass as well.
With regards to your brother in law, a lot of it sounds to me like he has been allowed to do what he wants for a long time and is in fact spoilt rather than depressed - " being the first born boy means he can get away with it ". I could be wrong, but everything you've written about him points to someone who does what he likes and makes excuses for everything that goes wrong. I have a sister whose behaviour is almost identical to your brother in laws and its all due to my mum especially
pandering to her very whim. As a result she takes responsibility for nothing and everything that's wrong in her life is down to other people. In short she needs a kick up the arse, by the sounds of it so does he !
With regards to your sister. I'm afraid all you can do is try to support as best as you can. Her issues and wide, varying and extremely complex. I'm guessing there's possibly an involvement with Social Services, drug counselling / rehab etc. I'd leave this one to the experts mate and just try to be there for her.
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