Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

[l4toffee]

I'm still quite new to the forum and haven't posted much but I'd like to speak up if that's alright, I feel like I just want to get this down if someone is willing to read it.

I'm 21, just started university, living at home with parents still but unlike the majority of my peers.. quite simply I'm really lonely and I think its causing me to be depressed. A loner, a billy no mates. I have social anxiety which caused me not to join my school/childhood friends when they grew up and started partying and getting drunk - the thought was so scary to me - so I've lost contact with all but one who I only speak to time-to-time on Skype.
I have no one to watch footy games with, I have no one to share and create memories with, I have no one to talk to without worrying about their image of me. I don't talk to my family about stuff like this because I've always been the joker and the guy with a smirk on his face, I don't want that image of me to be changed in their mind and for them to pity me.
I feel like I've been forgotten about by everyone I used to know and I don't know how to handle this.
Always see the news articles about elderly people who feel loneliness, but never about the young people who feel out of place in society and also feel lonely.

hope things work out for you mate.

 

[l4toffee]

Thanks for the support. I'm coping (though 22 days now without a cigarette is getting hard). I can't prove either situation (though I do suspect that in the former I have been stitched up and in the latter the medical profession, though not guilty as such, didn't take a look at the wider possibilities, and at least they saved my life (eventually). Better to put that down to experience. Yes, you are right I should take control of the situation.. Will know in about a month if we (I) are going to win this battle.

It's good to know someone else does GaF. Thanks.

good luck mate .

 

[The Esk]

good luck mate .

How are you doing mate? Things looking better I hope!

 

[COYBL25]

Work related. Cuts, cuts and more cuts and you try and do all you can to keep things going but things go wrong and you blame yourself and I thought I was worthless and letting everyone down.

Started worrying about the future as more cuts were coming and convinced myself that I'd be out of a job and letting my kids and wife down. It had been coming for months and then one day I left work in tears and couldn't take it anymore.

Thought that ending it all was the easiest thing to do, just made sense all the crap that was being thrown would go away wouldn't it. But, rather than taking that route I told the wife and she dragged me to the docs who refered me to mental health who did a telephone chat and started by saying there was at least a three month waiting list. No idea what I said but i was given an appointment the next day.

Along with them and support from everyone I turned it round quite quick I guess but I've never really been the same since. Lack of confidence etc and I always take things to heart when maybe I shouldn't, but that's me and not much I can do to change that.

Feels at the moment exactly as it was at the start of last time, another round of cuts, more to come and work just getting too much, so I know I have to do something about it.

Not wanting to do anything, no interest in going out, just want to stay in the house and away from people. Guess the good thing is I've spotted the signs and trying to help myself but I'm worried about the future but remember being told last time that I have to stop coming up with things that might never happen, but again guess that's just tHe way I am.

Also, get annoyed with myself as I think that I'm wasting people's time as there is people out there with real bloody problems and part of me thinks I should just toughen up and get on with it, but then I know that it doesn't work like that.

Go back to the Docs mate, pronto. You've recognised it's coming back which in itself is great. You need to do something about it to nip it in the bud. Talk to your missus and let her know too. Prevention is better than cure .

You mention coming up with things that may never happen, everyone does it to a certain extent. However they can take over if your don't act, so get back to the GP mate.

 

[counsillor cox]

Work related. Cuts, cuts and more cuts and you try and do all you can to keep things going but things go wrong and you blame yourself and I thought I was worthless and letting everyone down.

Started worrying about the future as more cuts were coming and convinced myself that I'd be out of a job and letting my kids and wife down. It had been coming for months and then one day I left work in tears and couldn't take it anymore.

Thought that ending it all was the easiest thing to do, just made sense all the crap that was being thrown would go away wouldn't it. But, rather than taking that route I told the wife and she dragged me to the docs who refered me to mental health who did a telephone chat and started by saying there was at least a three month waiting list. No idea what I said but i was given an appointment the next day.

Along with them and support from everyone I turned it round quite quick I guess but I've never really been the same since. Lack of confidence etc and I always take things to heart when maybe I shouldn't, but that's me and not much I can do to change that.

Feels at the moment exactly as it was at the start of last time, another round of cuts, more to come and work just getting too much, so I know I have to do something about it.

Not wanting to do anything, no interest in going out, just want to stay in the house and away from people. Guess the good thing is I've spotted the signs and trying to help myself but I'm worried about the future but remember being told last time that I have to stop coming up with things that might never happen, but again guess that's just tHe way I am.

Also, get annoyed with myself as I think that I'm wasting people's time as there is people out there with real bloody problems and part of me thinks I should just toughen up and get on with it, but then I know that it doesn't work like that.

YOURS are real bloody problems mate. Its shocking the amount of people suffering from depression that think its not a real problem, im the same, or at least was the same. I dont believe its about toughening up, its a real human condition. The way i see it at the moment is the people around you get up and go about their day, you go about your day with, lets be honest, a mental illness. So, whos the strong one? Stronger than you give yourself credit for, as is everyone who goes throygh this on a daily basis

 

[l4toffee]

How are you doing mate? Things looking better I hope!

Bit crap the past week to be honest mate but I'll crack on and get there in the end. My problems are small compared to others and I'm lucky in so many ways . Most of my own problems now are in my head . But I can't stop feeling that way.

This thread is a credit to our fans and this forum in general though .

 

[Sunderland afc]

Go back to the Docs mate, pronto. You've recognised it's coming back which in itself is great. You need to do something about it to nip it in the bud. Talk to your missus and let her know too. Prevention is better than cure .

You mention coming up with things that may never happen, everyone does it to a certain extent. However they can take over if your don't act, so get back to the GP mate.

Going tomorrow and hopefully start the process of sorting myself out.

 

[Sunderland afc]

YOURS are real bloody problems mate. Its shocking the amount of people suffering from depression that think its not a real problem, im the same, or at least was the same. I dont believe its about toughening up, its a real human condition. The way i see it at the moment is the people around you get up and go about their day, you go about your day with, lets be honest, a mental illness. So, whos the strong one? Stronger than you give yourself credit for, as is everyone who goes throygh this on a daily basis

Cheers and I know I need to get this sorted which is half the battle. Also have terrible mood swings. I don't get angry but I can be happy and excited one minute and then miserable as sin the next. And that's not even when watching us.

 

[l4toffee]

Going tomorrow and hopefully start the process of sorting myself out.

Good luck mate

 

[COYBL25]

If anyone wants any advice re doing voluntary work in Liverpool please feel free to get in touch with me.

I'm involved with two charities. You would think that it's as simple as volunteering, but there's a lot of red tape involved before you get to be a volunteer - CRB for instance and a lot ask for references ( seriously ).

 

[Sunderland afc]

Been referred to mental health and have to go to occ health at work.

Got to go back in two weeks for more discussions and she made me promise that I will talk to people about it and not just hide away.

 

[COYBL25]

Been referred to mental health and have to go to occ health at work.

Got to go back in two weeks for more discussions and she made me promise that I will talk to people about it and not just hide away.

First steps to getting better, well in mate .

 

[mitchell1996]

ive been sitting here for a good few minutes thinking about how to start this so im just going to jump straight to it. im 19 years old and have suffered since a young age with an extremely addictive personality, which is basically excatly how it sounds. as soon as i found something new that i enjoyed, i couldn't stop. this includes anything from my favourite meal to obviously drugs/alcohol, which you'd have probably guessed!

when i was at school i was quite clever and was targeted A's in pretty much every subject. i wasn't a bad lad at school but i wasn't good either, i had a laugh and a joke and was pretty lazy in terms of actually listening etc, but the person i was at school wasn't what i became for the next few years. i got expelled from my school in my last year for something which got completely blown out of proportion by the school, who at the time were trying to make an example of me to the others in my opinion. after getting expelled i had nothing to do to occupy me, and so i started to knock round with the lads who also werent in school, lads who were selling/taking drugs etc, the usual stuff. at school my social circle were nice lads, we'd go the game together etc and we werent into drinking or anything at that point. but after being expelled we seen less and less of eachother, and i seen more and more of the others.

shortly after being expelled i started to smoke weed. not the worst drug in the world by all means and for some people its fine as they can have it every now and then, but not for somebody with an addictive personality. after about a month i couldnt go to sleep without it, couldnt eat without it, couldnt be myself without it. me and my old mates of course werent working, so we needed a way to get our weed, our cigis, whatever we were having at the time. we got in trouble with the police alot, i became somebody i never thought i could, i treated everybody around me badly and became very depressed. i ended up stopping smoking it because i had smoked that much that my mind was so fried and paranoid, my mum tried to give me paracetemol for a headache and i thought she was trying to kill me!

but often with people like me, they quit one thing and move onto another. and what i moved onto was even worse. gambling and alcohol. this has lead to me losing over two months wages on betting, several hospital trips for alcohol poisoning, and a rapid weight gain, i went from being a fastest 100m runner in our school to being one of the fattest! this wasnt helped by a long term relationship, in which my ex cheated on me with one of the lads (not the good ones) which really had an affect.

at the moment im doing a bit better, im trying to lose weight and i havent had a drink, a bet, a smoke, anything for just over a week which to me is a miracle. thanks to anyone for reading all of that!

 

[COYBL25]

ive been sitting here for a good few minutes thinking about how to start this so im just going to jump straight to it. im 19 years old and have suffered since a young age with an extremely addictive personality, which is basically excatly how it sounds. as soon as i found something new that i enjoyed, i couldn't stop. this includes anything from my favourite meal to obviously drugs/alcohol, which you'd have probably guessed!

when i was at school i was quite clever and was targeted A's in pretty much every subject. i wasn't a bad lad at school but i wasn't good either, i had a laugh and a joke and was pretty lazy in terms of actually listening etc, but the person i was at school wasn't what i became for the next few years. i got expelled from my school in my last year for something which got completely blown out of proportion by the school, who at the time were trying to make an example of me to the others in my opinion. after getting expelled i had nothing to do to occupy me, and so i started to knock round with the lads who also werent in school, lads who were selling/taking drugs etc, the usual stuff. at school my social circle were nice lads, we'd go the game together etc and we werent into drinking or anything at that point. but after being expelled we seen less and less of eachother, and i seen more and more of the others.

shortly after being expelled i started to smoke weed. not the worst drug in the world by all means and for some people its fine as they can have it every now and then, but not for somebody with an addictive personality. after about a month i couldnt go to sleep without it, couldnt eat without it, couldnt be myself without it. me and my old mates of course werent working, so we needed a way to get our weed, our cigis, whatever we were having at the time. we got in trouble with the police alot, i became somebody i never thought i could, i treated everybody around me badly and became very depressed. i ended up stopping smoking it because i had smoked that much that my mind was so fried and paranoid, my mum tried to give me paracetemol for a headache and i thought she was trying to kill me!

but often with people like me, they quit one thing and move onto another. and what i moved onto was even worse. gambling and alcohol. this has lead to me losing over two months wages on betting, several hospital trips for alcohol poisoning, and a rapid weight gain, i went from being a fastest 100m runner in our school to being one of the fattest! this wasnt helped by a long term relationship, in which my ex cheated on me with one of the lads (not the good ones) which really had an affect.

at the moment im doing a bit better, im trying to lose weight and i havent had a drink, a bet, a smoke, anything for just over a week which to me is a miracle. thanks to anyone for reading all of that!

Wow, that's a very mature post for someone of your age mate. I take my hat off to you, I wouldn't have been that articulate at nineteen !.

Are you receiving any support or help from anyone at the mo or are you trying to go it alone ?

 

[mitchell1996]

Wow, that's a very mature post for someone of your age mate. I take my hat off to you, I wouldn't have been that articulate at nineteen !.

Are you receiving any support or help from anyone at the mo or are you trying to go it alone ?

im just going alone at the moment mate hopefully it will keep up, always a bonus when everton are doing well