ive been sitting here for a good few minutes thinking about how to start this so im just going to jump straight to it. im 19 years old and have suffered since a young age with an extremely addictive personality, which is basically excatly how it sounds. as soon as i found something new that i enjoyed, i couldn't stop. this includes anything from my favourite meal to obviously drugs/alcohol, which you'd have probably guessed!
when i was at school i was quite clever and was targeted A's in pretty much every subject. i wasn't a bad lad at school but i wasn't good either, i had a laugh and a joke and was pretty lazy in terms of actually listening etc, but the person i was at school wasn't what i became for the next few years. i got expelled from my school in my last year for something which got completely blown out of proportion by the school, who at the time were trying to make an example of me to the others in my opinion. after getting expelled i had nothing to do to occupy me, and so i started to knock round with the lads who also werent in school, lads who were selling/taking drugs etc, the usual stuff. at school my social circle were nice lads, we'd go the game together etc and we werent into drinking or anything at that point. but after being expelled we seen less and less of eachother, and i seen more and more of the others.
shortly after being expelled i started to smoke weed. not the worst drug in the world by all means and for some people its fine as they can have it every now and then, but not for somebody with an addictive personality. after about a month i couldnt go to sleep without it, couldnt eat without it, couldnt be myself without it. me and my old mates of course werent working, so we needed a way to get our weed, our cigis, whatever we were having at the time. we got in trouble with the police alot, i became somebody i never thought i could, i treated everybody around me badly and became very depressed. i ended up stopping smoking it because i had smoked that much that my mind was so fried and paranoid, my mum tried to give me paracetemol for a headache and i thought she was trying to kill me!
but often with people like me, they quit one thing and move onto another. and what i moved onto was even worse. gambling and alcohol. this has lead to me losing over two months wages on betting, several hospital trips for alcohol poisoning, and a rapid weight gain, i went from being a fastest 100m runner in our school to being one of the fattest! this wasnt helped by a long term relationship, in which my ex cheated on me with one of the lads (not the good ones) which really had an affect.
at the moment im doing a bit better, im trying to lose weight and i havent had a drink, a bet, a smoke, anything for just over a week which to me is a miracle. thanks to anyone for reading all of that!
