Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

[toffeemax]

This is just something i need to get off my chest

I spent so long avoiding my problems, blaming just about anything and anyone, and slapping away anyone that tried to help, that I've come out the other side and an awful lot of the people who were initially there now dont want to know. But im a product of my own doing so I can only accept my fate, and keep doing what im doing which stands me in relatively good mental health. Its cost me friends, birds, jobs but im in a place where i can write some self indulgent tripe like this an not worry about the opinion of everyone that reads it.

some thing's do really piss me off, mainly the fact that there are those who refuse to recognise the progress I've made, still treating me like they did when i was bad,for example a rare excursion to a friends party i overheard a conversation about myself where the consensus was basically lets see how long this act lasts, but then i think...well that's their problem.
not mine, my problem is dealing with the gremlin in my brain constantly telling me your not good enough.
bur not being one to hold a grudge its easy for me to forgive those who wrong me, another significant change in my mental set up.

so basically, while im in a much better place, i still get the same dark thoughts, doubts and clouded judgements im just better at identifying these as unhealthy and dealing with them appropriately

the road to change/recovery fluctuates, it's not a linear process. But do see a doc if they become overwhelming. Keep going seems like you've done well!

 

[Elong]

Well. Don't come in here much lately, I'm pretty good most of the time, maybe that's wrong of me and I should try and offer advice to others out there who have been and will go down the same path as me.

Today's a stinker though, woke up fine, been at work for a couple of hours now and have no idea what's up, no energy, feel like bawling my eyes out, stressed and tired, anxious and shaky.

It's just a reminder to say, "hey there longers, you've still got this, I'm not leaving you anytime soon". It never truly goes away, it's how we deal with it. I'll be alright as the day goes on, probably take the afternoon off and chill out. Even if you feel like you've conquered it, you haven't, so be prepared to fight it when it comes back, and know what you can beat it, because you beat it before.

 

[roydo]

Live in a close knit village and one of my cricket team mates shot himself dead last night (wife and kids left behind). Saw him Sunday for the last game of the season, happy as larry. As I say we're like one big family and I have hardly been able to work today. I work in mental health and just cannot believe how I couldn't see any signs. Must have been bottling things up for ages and it all just got too much. Please people if you have any any trouble at all, go and find help, you're not weak, you're just human.

Christ alive. Just proves the maxim, you just never really know what is going on do you?

 

[kithnou]

Well. Don't come in here much lately, I'm pretty good most of the time, maybe that's wrong of me and I should try and offer advice to others out there who have been and will go down the same path as me.

Today's a stinker though, woke up fine, been at work for a couple of hours now and have no idea what's up, no energy, feel like bawling my eyes out, stressed and tired, anxious and shaky.

It's just a reminder to say, "hey there longers, you've still got this, I'm not leaving you anytime soon". It never truly goes away, it's how we deal with it. I'll be alright as the day goes on, probably take the afternoon off and chill out. Even if you feel like you've conquered it, you haven't, so be prepared to fight it when it comes back, and know what you can beat it, because you beat it before.

Hang in there my man. Tomorrow will be a better day

 

[kithnou]

Live in a close knit village and one of my cricket team mates shot himself dead last night (wife and kids left behind). Saw him Sunday for the last game of the season, happy as larry. As I say we're like one big family and I have hardly been able to work today. I work in mental health and just cannot believe how I couldn't see any signs. Must have been bottling things up for ages and it all just got too much. Please people if you have any any trouble at all, go and find help, you're not weak, you're just human.

Damn. Wow. Great advice...there is always someone to speak with to help when we need them

 

[Deleted member 28206]

Well. Don't come in here much lately, I'm pretty good most of the time, maybe that's wrong of me and I should try and offer advice to others out there who have been and will go down the same path as me.

Today's a stinker though, woke up fine, been at work for a couple of hours now and have no idea what's up, no energy, feel like bawling my eyes out, stressed and tired, anxious and shaky.

It's just a reminder to say, "hey there longers, you've still got this, I'm not leaving you anytime soon". It never truly goes away, it's how we deal with it. I'll be alright as the day goes on, probably take the afternoon off and chill out. Even if you feel like you've conquered it, you haven't, so be prepared to fight it when it comes back, and know what you can beat it, because you beat it before.

Nearly broke me reading that mate, it's like words out of my mouth.

*bro hug*

 

[Elong]

Nearly broke me reading that mate, it's like words out of my mouth.

*bro hug*

Cheers, I hate sounding like a soppy tart, but once in a while you need to just let it all out I reckon. Taken the afternoon off work and feeling a bit better already.

It's true though innit, you can be having the time of your life and one day something decides "nah, f it, you're having too much fun".

 

[Kiwi]

I'm still quite new to the forum and haven't posted much but I'd like to speak up if that's alright, I feel like I just want to get this down if someone is willing to read it.

I'm 21, just started university, living at home with parents still but unlike the majority of my peers.. quite simply I'm really lonely and I think its causing me to be depressed. A loner, a billy no mates. I have social anxiety which caused me not to join my school/childhood friends when they grew up and started partying and getting drunk - the thought was so scary to me - so I've lost contact with all but one who I only speak to time-to-time on Skype.
I have no one to watch footy games with, I have no one to share and create memories with, I have no one to talk to without worrying about their image of me. I don't talk to my family about stuff like this because I've always been the joker and the guy with a smirk on his face, I don't want that image of me to be changed in their mind and for them to pity me.
I feel like I've been forgotten about by everyone I used to know and I don't know how to handle this.
Always see the news articles about elderly people who feel loneliness, but never about the young people who feel out of place in society and also feel lonely.

Hey mate, thought I'd pipe up as I'm about the same age as you and have suffered some social anxiety too, albeit in slightly different circumstances.
I've always been a social butterfly, and have no problems making new friends as am really chatty e.t.c.
Had a bunch of close mates that I went through about ten years of school with so never had really any issues of feeling lonely.
Started uni a few years back and made heaps of mates as got on well with everyone. Uni was a bit like a massive family with a large group of mates. Then at the end of last year my closest uni mates dropped out, meaning that the big social group split off into cliques, leaving me without any close friends and on the edges of stuff feeling like I was being left out of every joke and conversation.
Everyone else had their close mates and here I was floating on the edges of things, getting on well with everyone without really being a part of anything.
I played 7 aside with a bunch of lads from uni but that still didn't really help all that much, still felt on the fringes.

Eventually I started working out and hanging out with that group of mates that I'd gone to school with and had grown apart a bit, started up a hilarious group chat and basically grew closer to these guys than I had for the previous 10 or so years.
I came to realise that this was all I needed, but took a while and a bit of a journey to get there.
I'm still on the fringes a bit at varsity but am feeling heaps better about it.

Thought I'd share to let you know that you aren't the only one going through stuff like that, and that there is light at the end of the tunnel, it doesn't just go on and on.

 

[DualityNSNO]

Not gonna lie, I've been sitting in front of my laptop here for quite some time now, thinking of how to even start, or what to write.

I feel like I'm sick of having to "restart" my life and it's really kicking me down again. To boot, this is not the place I want to be at right now, as it mentally exhausts me; nor are these the people I want to be around, in fact the person I'd most like to be around is, you guessed it, about 3000km away and I've not got the balls to even say it. I've lived a short life, but the amount of times I've had to go "okay, time for a fresh start" is actually making me sick - I've got absolutely no comfort zone, so to say; nowhere I feel good anymore, and a small escape in cigarettes.

I'm feeling like the mental pain and burden are becoming more and more physical ones and I'm back to really feeling like I don't want to wake up tomorrow, but it's not that easy to get out, luckily. By that I don't mean I'm suicidal again/yet, I'm just starting to fail to see the point of my lacklustre attempts at, well, life.

Basically, I wish for/want Her and a beer. I haven't and will probably never have her, and beer is something I can't even afford, this is how dire my situation is.

That's all from me tonight folks, just wanted to get it off my chest, in a way.

Hope everyone's having a better time than me, at least.

 

[LinekersLegs]

Not gonna lie, I've been sitting in front of my laptop here for quite some time now, thinking of how to even start, or what to write.

I feel like I'm sick of having to "restart" my life and it's really kicking me down again. To boot, this is not the place I want to be at right now, as it mentally exhausts me; nor are these the people I want to be around, in fact the person I'd most like to be around is, you guessed it, about 3000km away and I've not got the balls to even say it. I've lived a short life, but the amount of times I've had to go "okay, time for a fresh start" is actually making me sick - I've got absolutely no comfort zone, so to say; nowhere I feel good anymore, and a small escape in cigarettes.

I'm feeling like the mental pain and burden are becoming more and more physical ones and I'm back to really feeling like I don't want to wake up tomorrow, but it's not that easy to get out, luckily. By that I don't mean I'm suicidal again/yet, I'm just starting to fail to see the point of my lacklustre attempts at, well, life.

Basically, I wish for/want Her and a beer. I haven't and will probably never have her, and beer is something I can't even afford, this is how dire my situation is.

That's all from me tonight folks, just wanted to get it off my chest, in a way.

Hope everyone's having a better time than me, at least.

Hang in there mate, hopefully tomorrow will be a better day x

 

[BiggyRat]

I feel like I'm sick of having to "restart" my life and it's really kicking me down again.

I guess that's the downside of a 'reboot', it's not always guaranteed to be a winner. I'm sure, as an individual, there are probably only so many times that you can do this and, by the tone of your post, you may have reached that limit.

It could be that you now need to make a decision about your 'restarts' and determine one of them to be best for you. I clearly don't know but it may be that you need to pick the life you intend to lead now.

Basically, I wish for/want Her and a beer. I haven't and will probably never have her

It might also be the time to ring her & find out. Probably needs to be turned into a definate yes or no. If yes...well.... If no, then you now have a definitive answer to that lingering question. No damage aside from a little embarrassment maybe but you can move on with your life and, when you get that Beer, drink a toast to her and the good times she's missing out on, then restart with a fresh slate!

 

[Jamo Martinez]

I guess that's the downside of a 'reboot', it's not always guaranteed to be a winner. I'm sure, as an individual, there are probably only so many times that you can do this and, by the tone of your post, you may have reached that limit.

It could be that you now need to make a decision about your 'restarts' and determine one of them to be best for you. I clearly don't know but it may be that you need to pick the life you intend to lead now.


It might also be the time to ring her & find out. Probably needs to be turned into a definate yes or no. If yes...well.... If no, then you now have a definitive answer to that lingering question. No damage aside from a little embarrassment maybe but you can move on with your life and, when you get that Beer, drink a toast to her and the good times she's missing out on, then restart with a fresh slate!

This. I think a lot of the time the fresh starts we make are basically like remakes of the same film.

 

[DualityNSNO]

Cheers guys.

That's the thing though, I feel like I've reached my limit of restarts, or at least I'm tired of having to do so - what do I do now, where do I go (Rhetorical questions here, obviously)? Uni's gone to crap for at least a year, and it's gonna be ridiculously difficult the year after, provided, of course, I don't fail the resits.

To add to that nearly all of my friends or people who I used to talk to often are now acting distant or just have their own thing and direction to go in and are following that as successfully as possible.

I wish I could make better choices in life, but that's hindsight for you, always 20/20 and all.

Also sorry for this sounding likely stupid or overdramatic, I'm crap at this words thing.

 

[BiggyRat]

Also sorry for this sounding likely stupid or overdramatic, I'm crap at this words thing.

No, there's no need to be self critical on this thread. You get it out as it comes out, that's the whole point.

I wish I could make better choices in life, but that's hindsight for you, always 20/20 and all.

If you figure out how to do that, then you'll be a very rich man! All you can do...all any of us can do...is to see what we can learn from those past errors of judgement and try to make better ones. You're clearly not happy with your sequence of choices and thats fair enough.

Uni is clearly an issue for you. Does your Uni have career guidance or do they have student counsellors at all? If you can get a sympathetic ear at Uni, they might be able to assist you in some way. I'd be loathe to suggest you move on from Uni, as it has become vitally important for the futures of many people, but sometimes it just isn't the thing for other people. You may be in that boat, but at least you're the Captain of the Boat.

 

[Tim's tourettes]

Anyone on citalopram ? I have been prescribed it for anxiety. Took one look at the side effects and haven't opened the pack! Start CBT next week so am planning on giving that ago first before the meds