toffeemax
Player Valuation: £15m
This is just something i need to get off my chest
I spent so long avoiding my problems, blaming just about anything and anyone, and slapping away anyone that tried to help, that I've come out the other side and an awful lot of the people who were initially there now dont want to know. But im a product of my own doing so I can only accept my fate, and keep doing what im doing which stands me in relatively good mental health. Its cost me friends, birds, jobs but im in a place where i can write some self indulgent tripe like this an not worry about the opinion of everyone that reads it.
some thing's do really piss me off, mainly the fact that there are those who refuse to recognise the progress I've made, still treating me like they did when i was bad,for example a rare excursion to a friends party i overheard a conversation about myself where the consensus was basically lets see how long this act lasts, but then i think...well that's their problem.
not mine, my problem is dealing with the gremlin in my brain constantly telling me your not good enough.
bur not being one to hold a grudge its easy for me to forgive those who wrong me, another significant change in my mental set up.
so basically, while im in a much better place, i still get the same dark thoughts, doubts and clouded judgements im just better at identifying these as unhealthy and dealing with them appropriately
the road to change/recovery fluctuates, it's not a linear process. But do see a doc if they become overwhelming. Keep going seems like you've done well!