Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

[Billy Dean]

Cheers guys.

That's the thing though, I feel like I've reached my limit of restarts, or at least I'm tired of having to do so - what do I do now, where do I go (Rhetorical questions here, obviously)? Uni's gone to crap for at least a year, and it's gonna be ridiculously difficult the year after, provided, of course, I don't fail the resits.

To add to that nearly all of my friends or people who I used to talk to often are now acting distant or just have their own thing and direction to go in and are following that as successfully as possible.

I wish I could make better choices in life, but that's hindsight for you, always 20/20 and all.

Also sorry for this sounding likely stupid or overdramatic, I'm crap at this words thing.

Hang in there fella. It might seem like it when you're suffering but not everyone has everything figured out in their early 20s. I know it's easier said than done but try not to be so hard on yourself about it. You're not alone.

 

[Groucho]

Anyone on citalopram ? I have been prescribed it for anxiety. Took one look at the side effects and haven't opened the pack! Start CBT next week so am planning on giving that ago first before the meds

The side effects are usually in the small minority of cases. They have to list all reported side effects, even if one person in the world reported it. In my experience it is a useful medication.

Provided you're properly monitored by your GP you'll probably be fine on them.

 

[DualityNSNO]

No, there's no need to be self critical on this thread. You get it out as it comes out, that's the whole point.



If you figure out how to do that, then you'll be a very rich man! All you can do...all any of us can do...is to see what we can learn from those past errors of judgement and try to make better ones. You're clearly not happy with your sequence of choices and thats fair enough.

Uni is clearly an issue for you. Does your Uni have career guidance or do they have student counsellors at all? If you can get a sympathetic ear at Uni, they might be able to assist you in some way. I'd be loathe to suggest you move on from Uni, as it has become vitally important for the futures of many people, but sometimes it just isn't the thing for other people. You may be in that boat, but at least you're the Captain of the Boat.

I've been using the uni's mental help programme (which is actually top stuff from them, to be honest!) and have seen a counsellor/therapist for a while, even if I haven't recently.

I can't really move on, as that'd mean that I'd thrown quite a lot of time, effort and resources down the drain, and as you say - it's important. What I recognise now is that I've sort of gone in for the wrong degree (Electronic and electrical engineering), but having done half of it, and given how tasking it is, I don't want to start over from zero again (in Mechanical; the things that I like are cars and motorcycles basically, and anything that moves)

Hang in there fella. It might seem like it when you're suffering but not everyone has everything figured out in their early 20s. I know it's easier said than done but try not to be so hard on yourself about it. You're not alone.

Thanks mate.

Thanks to both/all really. I've gotten a lot of support from a good friend of mine and also my mum, who's always supportive of my decisions, and also Skyped above mentioned girl for like 3 hours last night, which felt great, and while we never touched on the subject, we chatted quite a lot about things and the past and all and I really have a feeling this might go somewhere, feeling positive really. Don't want to rush anything though, as "haste makes waste" (or "hasty climbers have sudden falls" - I actually had to google both of these for their English equivalents as the literal translation from Bulgarian looked odd).

Learned yesterday that there's a job fair on the 10th here as well, so I'll go to that... supposedly mostly hotels and bars there, and I've worked as both a receptionist and barman (at the same time lol ) for 8 months... Plus any job's a job and all, as long as it pays the bills...

In times when it haunts me I think the best thing to think is, never mind how tough the situation is, that the world is big and salvation lurks around the corner.

Cheers all again!

 

[COYBL25]

Anyone on citalopram ? I have been prescribed it for anxiety. Took one look at the side effects and haven't opened the pack! Start CBT next week so am planning on giving that ago first before the meds

As Groucho said, the drug companies are legally bound to list adverse side effects of all medication even if it was one case in a million.

Every single anti depressant no matter what the name on the pack will have similar warnings.

Anti depressants are hit and miss. What works for you may not work for another, so it's a question of trial and error until you find one that works for you.

My advice would be to take them and see how it goes. Most anti depressant meds usually take 2 - 3 wks to start working, so hang on in there before making a decision.

Wish you luck mate.

 

[l4toffee]

Feeling low at the minute due to non stop head aches . Had them for the best part of 2 weeks . Brought on by stress and anxiety . Getting fed up of this . Constant mood swings

 

[COYBL25]

Feeling low at the minute due to non stop head aches . Had them for the best part of 2 weeks . Brought on by stress and anxiety . Getting fed up of this . Constant mood swings

Have you tried the Docs for a short course of sedatives, just to give yourself a chance to get things back on an even keel ?.

 

[BiggyRat]

I can't really move on, as that'd mean that I'd thrown quite a lot of time, effort and resources down the drain, and as you say - it's important. What I recognise now is that I've sort of gone in for the wrong degree (Electronic and electrical engineering), but having done half of it, and given how tasking it is, I don't want to start over from zero again (in Mechanical; the things that I like are cars and motorcycles basically, and anything that moves)

I can certainly understand the idea behind continuing due work already completed, but I can also see a catch 22 situation if you do continue. It's hard, from a distance, to really put an opinion across for you, but we're just throwing ideas around here.

From personal experience, I've moved from one role I really enjoyed to a less well paid role, in order for future career progression. That's as close as I can get to a similar analogy to your situation. What worked for me is obviously not 'one size fits all' and by the sounds of it, is not something you're willing to do. I'm sure you've already had a good long think about it so perhaps you need some inspiration to embrace the Electrical Engineering course a bit more? Maybe get in touch with some industry people or organisations. If you're committed to completing it, then you need to spark some passion for it...IMHO.

I've been 2 months out of work after leaving a job I had no passion for. After 11 years at it, I was done. I know I should practice what I preach, but I was spent. Maybe you're there too? I hope not, for your sake.

Good luck with your directional choice mate!

 

[COYBL25]

I've been using the uni's mental help programme (which is actually top stuff from them, to be honest!) and have seen a counsellor/therapist for a while, even if I haven't recently.

I can't really move on, as that'd mean that I'd thrown quite a lot of time, effort and resources down the drain, and as you say - it's important. What I recognise now is that I've sort of gone in for the wrong degree (Electronic and electrical engineering), but having done half of it, and given how tasking it is, I don't want to start over from zero again (in Mechanical; the things that I like are cars and motorcycles basically, and anything that moves)

Thanks mate.

Thanks to both/all really. I've gotten a lot of support from a good friend of mine and also my mum, who's always supportive of my decisions, and also Skyped above mentioned girl for like 3 hours last night, which felt great, and while we never touched on the subject, we chatted quite a lot about things and the past and all and I really have a feeling this might go somewhere, feeling positive really. Don't want to rush anything though, as "haste makes waste" (or "hasty climbers have sudden falls" - I actually had to google both of these for their English equivalents as the literal translation from Bulgarian looked odd).

Learned yesterday that there's a job fair on the 10th here as well, so I'll go to that... supposedly mostly hotels and bars there, and I've worked as both a receptionist and barman (at the same time lol ) for 8 months... Plus any job's a job and all, as long as it pays the bills...

In times when it haunts me I think the best thing to think is, never mind how tough the situation is, that the world is big and salvation lurks around the corner.

Cheers all again!

How old are you mate ?.

If you're still young it may not be too late to start again doing the course that you really want to do ?.

I know it's easy for me to say, but is it better to write off a year, two years, rather than potentially spend a lifetime in a field of work that you don't enjoy.

Only my thoughts mate. There's many many men and women my age ( late 40's ) who are doing jobs they hate, but have no choice due to mortgages, family etc. You haven't got these things yet, so it's not too late to switch ?.

 

[degsy]

Cheers guys.

That's the thing though, I feel like I've reached my limit of restarts, or at least I'm tired of having to do so - what do I do now, where do I go (Rhetorical questions here, obviously)? Uni's gone to crap for at least a year, and it's gonna be ridiculously difficult the year after, provided, of course, I don't fail the resits.

To add to that nearly all of my friends or people who I used to talk to often are now acting distant or just have their own thing and direction to go in and are following that as successfully as possible.

I wish I could make better choices in life, but that's hindsight for you, always 20/20 and all.

Also sorry for this sounding likely stupid or overdramatic, I'm crap at this words thing.

I won't offer advice about courses, but what ever you do or don't do, there are still ( hopefully ) plenty of places in the UK or here in Oz and NZ who take any real world degree as a measure of attainment and employ you.
My lad got a degree in mech eng and is now a supply chain manager for Heinz Australia/NZ...not a spanner in sight.

You usually regret more what you didn't do than what you did.

 

[degsy]

ive been sitting here for a good few minutes thinking about how to start this so im just going to jump straight to it. im 19 years old and have suffered since a young age with an extremely addictive personality, which is basically excatly how it sounds. as soon as i found something new that i enjoyed, i couldn't stop. this includes anything from my favourite meal to obviously drugs/alcohol, which you'd have probably guessed!

when i was at school i was quite clever and was targeted A's in pretty much every subject. i wasn't a bad lad at school but i wasn't good either, i had a laugh and a joke and was pretty lazy in terms of actually listening etc, but the person i was at school wasn't what i became for the next few years. i got expelled from my school in my last year for something which got completely blown out of proportion by the school, who at the time were trying to make an example of me to the others in my opinion. after getting expelled i had nothing to do to occupy me, and so i started to knock round with the lads who also werent in school, lads who were selling/taking drugs etc, the usual stuff. at school my social circle were nice lads, we'd go the game together etc and we werent into drinking or anything at that point. but after being expelled we seen less and less of eachother, and i seen more and more of the others.

shortly after being expelled i started to smoke weed. not the worst drug in the world by all means and for some people its fine as they can have it every now and then, but not for somebody with an addictive personality. after about a month i couldnt go to sleep without it, couldnt eat without it, couldnt be myself without it. me and my old mates of course werent working, so we needed a way to get our weed, our cigis, whatever we were having at the time. we got in trouble with the police alot, i became somebody i never thought i could, i treated everybody around me badly and became very depressed. i ended up stopping smoking it because i had smoked that much that my mind was so fried and paranoid, my mum tried to give me paracetemol for a headache and i thought she was trying to kill me!

but often with people like me, they quit one thing and move onto another. and what i moved onto was even worse. gambling and alcohol. this has lead to me losing over two months wages on betting, several hospital trips for alcohol poisoning, and a rapid weight gain, i went from being a fastest 100m runner in our school to being one of the fattest! this wasnt helped by a long term relationship, in which my ex cheated on me with one of the lads (not the good ones) which really had an affect.

at the moment im doing a bit better, im trying to lose weight and i havent had a drink, a bet, a smoke, anything for just over a week which to me is a miracle. thanks to anyone for reading all of that!

one day at a time mate, that's all you got to do.

 

[l4toffee]

Have you tried the Docs for a short course of sedatives, just to give yourself a chance to get things back on an even keel ?.

I went the walk in last week and my own dr this week . Tried 2 different pain killers . Naproxen and propranolol . Neither are working .

I'm going to book another appointment next week I'll mention it cheers

 

[COYBL25]

I went the walk in last week and my own dr this week . Tried 2 different pain killers . Naproxen and propranolol . Neither are working .

I'm going to book another appointment next week I'll mention it cheers

You're looking at something like - Lorazepam ( Ativan )or something similar.

They are only for short term, max 2 - 3 wks, as they are habit forming.

The GP should only give you a short script for them.

Let me know how you get on

 

[l4toffee]

You're looking at something like - Lorazepam ( Ativan )or something similar.

They are only for short term, max 2 - 3 wks, as they are habit forming.

The GP should only give you a short script for them.

Let me know how you get on

Thanks mate will do .

 

[DualityNSNO]

I can certainly understand the idea behind continuing due work already completed, but I can also see a catch 22 situation if you do continue. It's hard, from a distance, to really put an opinion across for you, but we're just throwing ideas around here.

From personal experience, I've moved from one role I really enjoyed to a less well paid role, in order for future career progression. That's as close as I can get to a similar analogy to your situation. What worked for me is obviously not 'one size fits all' and by the sounds of it, is not something you're willing to do. I'm sure you've already had a good long think about it so perhaps you need some inspiration to embrace the Electrical Engineering course a bit more? Maybe get in touch with some industry people or organisations. If you're committed to completing it, then you need to spark some passion for it...IMHO.

I've been 2 months out of work after leaving a job I had no passion for. After 11 years at it, I was done. I know I should practice what I preach, but I was spent. Maybe you're there too? I hope not, for your sake.

Good luck with your directional choice mate!

I'm aware of the catch 22 at hand here, but it's more or less inevitable - I don't want to have to start over, but I don't know if it might not come to that in the end anyway. Really unsure about the future at this point. Thanks for the idea-throwing though, appreciate a different viewpoint.

And, for my own sake, I hope not as well.

How old are you mate ?.

If you're still young it may not be too late to start again doing the course that you really want to do ?.

I know it's easy for me to say, but is it better to write off a year, two years, rather than potentially spend a lifetime in a field of work that you don't enjoy.

Only my thoughts mate. There's many many men and women my age ( late 40's ) who are doing jobs they hate, but have no choice due to mortgages, family etc. You haven't got these things yet, so it's not too late to switch ?.

22. I've actually already written off last year, but it literally worked out in the exact opposite way I wanted, and I have to write off this year as well, which isn't great. I'm gonna go back to uni with 2 years of doing nothing basically, so will have to re-read everything all over again at least, and re-learn the basics.

I won't offer advice about courses, but what ever you do or don't do, there are still ( hopefully ) plenty of places in the UK or here in Oz and NZ who take any real world degree as a measure of attainment and employ you.
My lad got a degree in mech eng and is now a supply chain manager for Heinz Australia/NZ...not a spanner in sight.

You usually regret more what you didn't do than what you did.

I know this can always happen, I know a certified veterinarian who worked at Philip Morris in NL for 2 decades and enjoyed it and made a living out of it. He quit because he just didn't feel happy there anymore (similar to Biggy really). I just don't really know where I'm headed, where or what my own future is at... at all; not degree wise, nor any other way or kind. I'm not enjoying anything in my life at the moment, at least any kind of lasting enjoyment, and I still feel like crap most the time, but feel in a really "alone against the world" kind of situation with a very faint light at the end of the tunnel, so to say. I know life finds a way, but so far it's been a pretty crap way that it has/I have found, hah. Plus I'm really, in a way, stuck here in the UK where I am, without anyone who gives a crap even remotely close to me.

I don't know if that's not overdramatic and all, but just sharing my thoughts here really. I'm still sticking to the saying from a few posts ago, but it's just starting to feel ridiculously stressful and tasking, both mentally and physically, and draining any kind of little positive emotion I have out of me - I'm not sleeping or eating well because I don't really want to do either to be perfectly honest; just don't feel like doing it.

It's times like these that I remember my previous addiction-riddled past and how nothing's changed, except that I've given up on drinking excessively... I still often think about what would happen if I never even wake up in the morning, I just don't have the help to actually get to sleep anymore. At least not in a bottle.

 

[Steverton]

22. I've actually already written off last year, but it literally worked out in the exact opposite way I wanted, and I have to write off this year as well, which isn't great. I'm gonna go back to uni with 2 years of doing nothing basically, so will have to re-read everything all over again at least, and re-learn the basics.

I don't know if that's not overdramatic and all, but just sharing my thoughts here really. I'm still sticking to the saying from a few posts ago, but it's just starting to feel ridiculously stressful and tasking, both mentally and physically, and draining any kind of little positive emotion I have out of me - I'm not sleeping or eating well because I don't really want to do either to be perfectly honest; just don't feel like doing it.

It's times like these that I remember my previous addiction-riddled past and how nothing's changed, except that I've given up on drinking excessively... I still often think about what would happen if I never even wake up in the morning, I just don't have the help to actually get to sleep anymore. At least not in a bottle.

Sounds like you are having some similar issues to me a while I was at university. I changed schools and areas of study and cities 3 or 4 times always thinking something would change and looking for a restart. I also took multiple years off in between a couple of these changes and was drinking excessively to cover up the depression when nothing ever actually did change. The problem was I always had made up in the back of my mind that I was just going to fail again, so I kept failing. You really have to want to succeed and tell yourself you can do it. Obviously that is easier said than done, but like COYB mentioned finding something you are interested in can really help you get motivated.

I know it is hard to just decide one day what subject interests you, but perhaps you could try some kind of online survey or something similar that tells you what you subjects might be good for you. Then try a few classes out and see what you like the best. I didn't end up graduating until I was 27 years old because I made so many changes and had to retake some classes I failed, but in the end I don't think I am any worse off because of it.

I guess the point I am trying to make is don't be afraid of a restart, just don't force one either.

Also kudos for giving up excessive drinking and addictions, I know that it can be very hard when you are reliant on it to sleep. Being able to sleep without will come in time.

And lastly, don't worry about being overdramatic mate (which you are not by the way). The things you are sharing is exactly what this thread is for.