Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

Robertor said:
I think we'll look into it at some point, mate. Obviously we haven't been here very long so we'll have to look into things like that. My sister's a counsellor in Barcelona (she's Spanish), so we're gonna FaceTime her I think tomorrow, but obviously time zones are a problem. As I say, we'll look into it.
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Just a thought mate. I can't imagine what you must be feeling like, but my thoughts are with you.
 
I don't know who to turn to, so - here I go here, I s'pose.

I've had a pretty crap last 3 days, to the point of not even going outside of my room other than to smoke a few times a day... My closest person could've been bombed, but thankfully the Madrid attacks were prevented, and she's "just" a bit shaken as am I, my dad is out of a job soon and doesn't know what to do, and I have no idea where my future lies, still... I don't feel like doing anything right now, but thankfully I have a job that I have to go to, which will make me absolutely abandon social life for the next 10 or so days, as it'll be work-home/sleep-work (thanks to Black Friday ffs). My mood is stupidly low and I've got no idea how to change it - I obviously pretend I'm not feeling too bad when talking to my old man/mum, but I'm quite frankly shocked - he's always had a job and now he's being fired and has to look for a new one come March, and he's 50, so it's not exactly that easy. I feel like my head and heart aren't in anything right now... And to boot my mum was in danger and she didn't even know it, as some of the France bombers/ISIS members were pretty much next door to her (apparently caused havoc with police etc before leaving), as they came to Europe via Leros, where she stays, and the island is now pretty much locked down because of that, but thankfully she missed the "locking" by about a week and is now back home.

I feel like having one good week equals to having at least 2 bad ones at this point in my life. I really don't look forward to tomorrow, but hope it's better at least, or at least busy as I won't have to think about things as much.

Hope everyone's as good as they can be given their personal situation. Take care, all.
 
DualityNSNO said:
I don't know who to turn to, so - here I go here, I s'pose.

I've had a pretty crap last 3 days, to the point of not even going outside of my room other than to smoke a few times a day... My closest person could've been bombed, but thankfully the Madrid attacks were prevented, and she's "just" a bit shaken as am I, my dad is out of a job soon and doesn't know what to do, and I have no idea where my future lies, still... I don't feel like doing anything right now, but thankfully I have a job that I have to go to, which will make me absolutely abandon social life for the next 10 or so days, as it'll be work-home/sleep-work (thanks to Black Friday ffs). My mood is stupidly low and I've got no idea how to change it - I obviously pretend I'm not feeling too bad when talking to my old man/mum, but I'm quite frankly shocked - he's always had a job and now he's being fired and has to look for a new one come March, and he's 50, so it's not exactly that easy. I feel like my head and heart aren't in anything right now... And to boot my mum was in danger and she didn't even know it, as some of the France bombers/ISIS members were pretty much next door to her (apparently caused havoc with police etc before leaving), as they came to Europe via Leros, where she stays, and the island is now pretty much locked down because of that, but thankfully she missed the "locking" by about a week and is now back home.

I feel like having one good week equals to having at least 2 bad ones at this point in my life. I really don't look forward to tomorrow, but hope it's better at least, or at least busy as I won't have to think about things as much.

Hope everyone's as good as they can be given their personal situation. Take care, all.
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As you say, the work will probably be good as it will get you out of your room, active and focused on things other than your worries. Hope tomorrow brings a happier day for you mate x
 
DualityNSNO said:
I don't know who to turn to, so - here I go here, I s'pose.

I've had a pretty crap last 3 days, to the point of not even going outside of my room other than to smoke a few times a day... My closest person could've been bombed, but thankfully the Madrid attacks were prevented, and she's "just" a bit shaken as am I, my dad is out of a job soon and doesn't know what to do, and I have no idea where my future lies, still... I don't feel like doing anything right now, but thankfully I have a job that I have to go to, which will make me absolutely abandon social life for the next 10 or so days, as it'll be work-home/sleep-work (thanks to Black Friday ffs). My mood is stupidly low and I've got no idea how to change it - I obviously pretend I'm not feeling too bad when talking to my old man/mum, but I'm quite frankly shocked - he's always had a job and now he's being fired and has to look for a new one come March, and he's 50, so it's not exactly that easy. I feel like my head and heart aren't in anything right now... And to boot my mum was in danger and she didn't even know it, as some of the France bombers/ISIS members were pretty much next door to her (apparently caused havoc with police etc before leaving), as they came to Europe via Leros, where she stays, and the island is now pretty much locked down because of that, but thankfully she missed the "locking" by about a week and is now back home.

I feel like having one good week equals to having at least 2 bad ones at this point in my life. I really don't look forward to tomorrow, but hope it's better at least, or at least busy as I won't have to think about things as much.

Hope everyone's as good as they can be given their personal situation. Take care, all.
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I'm sure your parents wouldn't want you to worry too much about them, I know it's just an involuntary thought process to worry, but it's going to cause you quite a lot of harm to your own state of mind with everything you've got going on.

Looking on the brighter side of life is such a tough thing to do for some people, but it's something that people need to do to get by. You're closest person could've ended up in a far worse state than she is, and although that's horrible to think about, some may not have been more fortunate. I'm not saying that you've nothing to feel badly about, absolutely far from that, but you're such a good hearted person that you're thinking so much about those closest to you, but you can't let that get you down.

Wish you all the happiness and good feeling in your life to come back again soon, mate.
 
DualityNSNO said:
I don't know who to turn to, so - here I go here, I s'pose.

I've had a pretty crap last 3 days, to the point of not even going outside of my room other than to smoke a few times a day... My closest person could've been bombed, but thankfully the Madrid attacks were prevented, and she's "just" a bit shaken as am I, my dad is out of a job soon and doesn't know what to do, and I have no idea where my future lies, still... I don't feel like doing anything right now, but thankfully I have a job that I have to go to, which will make me absolutely abandon social life for the next 10 or so days, as it'll be work-home/sleep-work (thanks to Black Friday ffs). My mood is stupidly low and I've got no idea how to change it - I obviously pretend I'm not feeling too bad when talking to my old man/mum, but I'm quite frankly shocked - he's always had a job and now he's being fired and has to look for a new one come March, and he's 50, so it's not exactly that easy. I feel like my head and heart aren't in anything right now... And to boot my mum was in danger and she didn't even know it, as some of the France bombers/ISIS members were pretty much next door to her (apparently caused havoc with police etc before leaving), as they came to Europe via Leros, where she stays, and the island is now pretty much locked down because of that, but thankfully she missed the "locking" by about a week and is now back home.

I feel like having one good week equals to having at least 2 bad ones at this point in my life. I really don't look forward to tomorrow, but hope it's better at least, or at least busy as I won't have to think about things as much.

Hope everyone's as good as they can be given their personal situation. Take care, all.
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The beauty about life is that it offers you another chance every single day to correct the wrongs of the past days. I've also had a crap day today, but unlike with you, the one and only person responsible for it is myself.
You have come so far, don't give up. Try to be as nice to people as you can (do make an effort!)... that's what I've been doing lately and it makes me feel better too, there are loads of techniques at this online course I'm doing on EdX (https://courses.edx.org/courses/course-v1:BerkeleyX+GG101x+3T2015/info) that help you in the pursuit of happiness. I find some of them useful, maybe you should do a bit of research there and in yourself too, what makes your life feel worthwhile, I'm sure there is something. I'll try to pray for you.

Also, here's an uplifting song for you.

 

LinekersLegs said:
Really feel for you mate, had some problems myself at a similar age and just this morning had some worrying test results that suggest it might be back so have a sense of what you, and particularly your wife, must be going through.

Will echo the others advice, especially the bit about keeping talking as problems can seem a little less intimidating when shared.
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good luck to both you and @Robertor and his wife.

Don't know what else to say.
 
Robertor said:
I'm broken. My beautiful wife of 4 years has been diagnosed with cancer. I've been trying to stay strong for her and for our baby, but I need to break down and cry and kick and punch everything and ask why these things happen to me, to us. We've been through so much together, we're 26 and we've been together for 11 years, we've been through my coma, a miscarriage, losing two dogs, family members and a massive move to America, now this.

I don't know what to do, seriously. People say that like its a cliche but I don't know how to do anything, everything's just blank space to me. I thought this was it now and we could settle with new jobs and a new house in a new country with the potential for everything to be great.

Her mum and grandma have had cancer and they've both beaten it, I only hope my dear wife can be as strong. I can't believe I'm typing these words. I'm completely shattered.
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LinekersLegs said:
Really feel for you mate, had some problems myself at a similar age and just this morning had some worrying test results that suggest it might be back so have a sense of what you, and particularly your wife, must be going through.

Will echo the others advice, especially the bit about keeping talking as problems can seem a little less intimidating when shared.
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Sadness.

Best thing to do is remain as positive as you can - don't let the negativity in.

Hope it works out for everyone.
 
DualityNSNO said:
I don't know who to turn to, so - here I go here, I s'pose.

I've had a pretty crap last 3 days, to the point of not even going outside of my room other than to smoke a few times a day... My closest person could've been bombed, but thankfully the Madrid attacks were prevented, and she's "just" a bit shaken as am I, my dad is out of a job soon and doesn't know what to do, and I have no idea where my future lies, still... I don't feel like doing anything right now, but thankfully I have a job that I have to go to, which will make me absolutely abandon social life for the next 10 or so days, as it'll be work-home/sleep-work (thanks to Black Friday ffs). My mood is stupidly low and I've got no idea how to change it - I obviously pretend I'm not feeling too bad when talking to my old man/mum, but I'm quite frankly shocked - he's always had a job and now he's being fired and has to look for a new one come March, and he's 50, so it's not exactly that easy. I feel like my head and heart aren't in anything right now... And to boot my mum was in danger and she didn't even know it, as some of the France bombers/ISIS members were pretty much next door to her (apparently caused havoc with police etc before leaving), as they came to Europe via Leros, where she stays, and the island is now pretty much locked down because of that, but thankfully she missed the "locking" by about a week and is now back home.

I feel like having one good week equals to having at least 2 bad ones at this point in my life. I really don't look forward to tomorrow, but hope it's better at least, or at least busy as I won't have to think about things as much.

Hope everyone's as good as they can be given their personal situation. Take care, all.
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Just get through the next ten days of non stop work mate and see how you feel then ?. Things can change quickly as you know. You're Mum is safe, even if it was a close call. I'm sure your Dad will find something even if it's only temporary until something better comes along. Just take each day as it comes. You've had some good ones recently, they'll be back. Keep your chin up mate .
 
My partner has gone through severe mental health problems. If I'd known about P H Q 9, we might have had the prompt to seek help earlier than we did.

In case it hasn't been mentioned on this thread before (not going to read 200 pages!), P H Q 9 can be googled and a questionnaire will come up which gives a pretty accurate indication of just how depressed a person might be & whether he / she should visit a G P or even A & E if self harm has reared its ugly head.
 
beautifulthing said:
My partner has gone through severe mental health problems. If I'd known about P H Q 9, we might have had the prompt to seek help earlier than we did.

In case it hasn't been mentioned on this thread before (not going to read 200 pages!), P H Q 9 can be googled and a questionnaire will come up which gives a pretty accurate indication of just how depressed a person might be & whether he / she should visit a G P or even A & E if self harm has reared its ugly head.
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Don't beat yourself up mate, how could you know about this test, as it's something that the medical proffession use and it's not something that's generally " out there " for the public to look at or know about.

Anything you want to know about any mental health problems, services etc, please post and someone on here will get back to you. Many hands and all that.

This NHS forum is wonderful too - MENTAL HEALTH FORUM.

Welcome mate and I hope your partner is getting the treatment that she needs now ?
 

Robertor said:
I'm broken. My beautiful wife of 4 years has been diagnosed with cancer. I've been trying to stay strong for her and for our baby, but I need to break down and cry and kick and punch everything and ask why these things happen to me, to us. We've been through so much together, we're 26 and we've been together for 11 years, we've been through my coma, a miscarriage, losing two dogs, family members and a massive move to America, now this.

I don't know what to do, seriously. People say that like its a cliche but I don't know how to do anything, everything's just blank space to me. I thought this was it now and we could settle with new jobs and a new house in a new country with the potential for everything to be great.

Her mum and grandma have had cancer and they've both beaten it, I only hope my dear wife can be as strong. I can't believe I'm typing these words. I'm completely shattered.
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so sorry to hear your news. it is a life changing situation but manageable. I am in remission myself so if you need anyone to talk to pm me.
 
Robertor said:
Problem with my comments were that I posted on here not long after I found out, this is the first place I turn to really.
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Where else but here could you just let it all out. We're mostly anonymous and we're here to listen at any stage of your emotions.

Robertor said:
Having sort of calmed down I just know she's going to beat it, they've caught it really early because I'm always on at her and all of my family to get regular checks for stuff like that. Hopefully everything works out for us, there's no point in dwelling on things. I'm going to do all I can to keep the happiness up anyway.
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Accentuate the positive. There are things out of your control right now so just focus on what is in your control. Good luck to you & yours mate.
 
Robertor said:
Problem with my comments were that I posted on here not long after I found out, this is the first place I turn to really. Having sort of calmed down I just know she's going to beat it, they've caught it really early because I'm always on at her and all of my family to get regular checks for stuff like that. Hopefully everything works out for us, there's no point in dwelling on things. I'm going to do all I can to keep the happiness up anyway.
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More than happy to help.
 
Robertor said:
I just felt empty, it was weird. It was like I felt everything was doomed and I know it sounds strange but it was like for a second that she'd died and there was nothing I could do, I can't describe the feeling. If comedy films are your thing and you haven't already seen it, I'd recommend watching a film called 50/50. I remembered it as one of my favourite films already but my wife hadn't seen it, we watched it this afternoon and I think in some ways it made light of the situation in the most sincere way.
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I don't think that's strange at all, I felt like that when I went through the same thing mate. Looking back I think in a way it helped. To get out all the negative thoughts, the anger, the feelings of dread and doom straight away, then made everything that comes after actually easier to deal with in a way and you start thinking more positively. Just make sure you remember to look after yourself too and take all the help that's on offer.
 

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