Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

[The Esk]

its only the truth at the end of the day mate and it's only lately I've been honest to myself

That's the hardest bit though mate - you say "only" but most people can't address whatever problems they have because they can't be honest with themselves let alone family, friends or work colleagues.

Once you can be honest with yourself, then you can address whatever your (not you personally) problems are. That's the first step in everything, success and failure - knowing yourself, accepting it and working on strengths whilst recognising weaknesses.

 

[l4toffee]

That's the hardest bit though mate - you say "only" but most people can't address whatever problems they have because they can't be honest with themselves let alone family, friends or work colleagues.

Once you can be honest with yourself, then you can address whatever your (not you personally) problems are. That's the first step in everything, success and failure - knowing yourself, accepting it and working on strengths whilst recognising weaknesses.

thats true mate you are right . It's not exactly nice admitting you've got faults but once you do it's easier to get on with things and do something about it .

Better late than never eh lol

 

[admirschleck]

Thanks to everyone that responded tonight, made me feel a lot better, just proves I am not the only one and it really isn't that bad. Can easily say I started to feel the same as @l4toffee and @jal123 just not with beer, but different type of alcohol - hopefully it'll get better. This thread rocks.

 

[l4toffee]

Thanks to everyone that responded tonight, made me feel a lot better, just proves I am not the only one and it really isn't that bad. Can easily say I started to feel the same as @l4toffee and @jal123 just not with beer, but different type of alcohol, hopefully it'll get better. This thread rocks.

chin up and don't worry about it . What seems a big deal to you ( or anyone who has a bad night on the ale) is going to be forgotten about by the people you was with last night . Ale is a drug that can mess with your mind .youve just got to TRY and not let it take over your mind. What's done is done.

 

[jal123]

That's the hardest bit though mate - you say "only" but most people can't address whatever problems they have because they can't be honest with themselves let alone family, friends or work colleagues.

Once you can be honest with yourself, then you can address whatever your (not you personally) problems are. That's the first step in everything, success and failure - knowing yourself, accepting it and working on strengths whilst recognising weaknesses.

The trouble is when you're completely honest with yourself, and you know your family hate the person you are but you honestly don't want to change. That's when you're proper f*cked. Then what do you do?

 

[chicoazul]

The trouble is when you're completely honest with yourself, and you know your family hate the person you are but you honestly don't want to change. That's when you're proper f*cked. Then what do you do?

I would guess that they don't hate you, they're just concerned for you as they love you.

Your awareness off the behaviour that causes their concern is the biggest first step lid.

 

[BiggyRat]

I'm defo not an alcoholic but I do have a problem with the stuff .

Had a BBQ last night & all our family came round to celebrate my daughters birthday. I had 3 drinks...that's a big year for me! Not a drinker you see.

We have similar problems in Oz with binge drinking, but I tend to avoid people like that. Don't get me wrong, I'm not preaching here, but it's just a personal choice. I would be mortified if my kids saw me drunk and I don't want to expose them to that culture at their age. (It's a moot point anyway as I don't drink...)

Last time I was in Blighty, Liverpool specifically, was 10 years ago for my Grandma's funeral. At the wake, I was staggered by the alcohol consumption of my Cousins & their kids! As an Aussie, it was expected that I was going to drink them under the table but that's not me. I managed to hold onto the drinks I was generously given for a loooong time. As the night wore on and the condition of my family members deteriorated, I was being complimented on how well I was able to 'hold my drink'. They were getting trays of Sambucca shots & were getting free ones because they were buying so much. This made them happy & they thought I should get the extra ones because I'd travelled so far... In hindsight, perpetuating that myth was wrong of me. I could have easily said that I don't drink, and not everyone in Oz does...but I didn't.

Slowly, they all faded & drifted off to God knows where. In the end, it was just me, my Cousins husband, and his son. We rolled my Cousins husband into a Cab & went looking for Chinese at 3am. He was as lucid as I was but he had kept up with everyone else. I knew he drank a lot & I specifically watched him as I was staying with him, but it was my turn to be staggered at his condition.

I honestly don't know what my point is here. Your posts made me think of that time L4 & what an eye opener it was for me. Again, I'm not preaching as I do enjoy a bevvie or two, but I just don't know or understand that tipping point where one goes from having a few to having too many.

 

[The Esk]

The trouble is when you're completely honest with yourself, and you know your family hate the person you are but you honestly don't want to change. That's when you're proper f*cked. Then what do you do?

Without knowing anything about you or your circumstances, I don't know how your family feel about you. Let's put it this way - if you continue as you are (however that may be) will they like/love/hate you any more or less for recognising that you are now being honest with yourself and trying to improve matters?

The chances are if they see you trying to improve matters by being honest with yourself they'll cut you some slack to prove yourself. Even if they don't you'll (personally) be in a better place for recognising your personal strengths and weaknesses.

If your family are with you and supportive then great, if they're not at least you are being honest with yourself and you, alone at this stage, can face your challenges. Either way that's better than being in denial?

 

[l4toffee]

[/QUOTE]

Had a BBQ last night & all our family came round to celebrate my daughters birthday. I had 3 drinks...that's a big year for me! Not a drinker you see.

We have similar problems in Oz with binge drinking, but I tend to avoid people like that. Don't get me wrong, I'm not preaching here, but it's just a personal choice. I would be mortified if my kids saw me drunk and I don't want to expose them to that culture at their age. (It's a moot point anyway as I don't drink...)

Last time I was in Blighty, Liverpool specifically, was 10 years ago for my Grandma's funeral. At the wake, I was staggered by the alcohol consumption of my Cousins & their kids! As an Aussie, it was expected that I was going to drink them under the table but that's not me. I managed to hold onto the drinks I was generously given for a loooong time. As the night wore on and the condition of my family members deteriorated, I was being complimented on how well I was able to 'hold my drink'. They were getting trays of Sambucca shots & were getting free ones because they were buying so much. This made them happy & they thought I should get the extra ones because I'd travelled so far... In hindsight, perpetuating that myth was wrong of me. I could have easily said that I don't drink, and not everyone in Oz does...but I didn't.

Slowly, they all faded & drifted off to God knows where. In the end, it was just me, my Cousins husband, and his son. We rolled my Cousins husband into a Cab & went looking for Chinese at 3am. He was as lucid as I was but he had kept up with everyone else. I knew he drank a lot & I specifically watched him as I was staying with him, but it was my turn to be staggered at his condition.

I honestly don't know what my point is here. Your posts made me think of that time L4 & what an eye opener it was for me. Again, I'm not preaching as I do enjoy a bevvie or two, but I just don't know or understand that tipping point where one goes from having a few to having too many.

its easier said than done and not every person is made of the same stuff mate . I've got loads of mates who are the same but I'm more prone to overstepping the mark than most of them. On the other hand I've got loads of mates who drink sensibly as well .
I've got an addictive personality in general. so that definately doesn't go well when I drink.

My dad or brother don't drink . So I think I made it my mission to drink there share as well . ( joking)

A lot of it is mental and on all in your mind . Some people are stronger than others . Some people like a drink more than others

You mention you wouldn't want your kids to see you drunk. I don't have kids but I'm the same in certain situations. Like family parties or around my friends families and kids. I wouldn't drink much. When I'm not with my family though I'm a loose cannon.

 

[Deleted member 28206]

I'm gonna all alone for Christmas and I'm dreading it.

I'll send you some nice messages lar x

 

[Joao Moutinho]

Just checking in. Small victory achieved, in the last few days I've started talking to several new people and it's giving me a better outlook of things. Had my best day in a while and hopefully tomorrow will be better.

 

[The Esk]

Just checking in. Small victory achieved, in the last few days I've started talking to several new people and it's giving me a better outlook of things. Had my best day in a while and hopefully tomorrow will be better.

Good stuff mate, great to hear, keep looking forward

 

[Joao Moutinho]

Good stuff mate, great to hear, keep looking forward

Thanks mate, just talking has been helping. I got a change of scenery for a few days too and I'm starting to feel a bit better!

 

[caught]

I suffer bad black outs with the beer. And feel depressed and anxious about it for days, sometimes weeks .

People think black outs are an excuse for being a tit when drunk . But it's genuine .one minute I'm fine, then all of a sudden it's the next day and I'm lying there in dread thinking what happened . I can go out for a couple but once I've got the taste I have no will power and turn into a selfish beaut who is only bothered about getting smashed.


Then the flash backs start coming to you .


I love a bevie but it doesn't half have a bad impact on my life. So now I hardly ever drink . In fact I'm off it now for a while . The worse thing is I'm not a very sociable drinker anymore . Moving down south and spending a lot of time on my own has changed my mind when I drink .

I'm not saying ill never drink again because I will. But I want to get back to drinking and being socialable and knowing when I've had enough .

Have a read of this, mate: http://www.theguardian.com/society/2015/jun/13/my-drinking-years-everyone-has-blackouts-dont-they

You're not alone by a long stretch and, as you already know, it has a lot to do with your mindset before you even take a sip.

 

[caught]

I wasn't going home for Christmas like, we're staying in LA. But I've got to go and work covering an NFL game in Philadelphia. Don't have a clue why they're making me go so early but just a couple of months into a job I'm a bit worried about having it out with my boss about it. I hope that if I go in and say I'll be willing to pay extra to get a flight on Boxing Day then he'll be alright but I don't really know him well enough to guess how he'll react.

LA Times right? A friend of mine works for the same paper. I was always under the impression they outsourced non-local stuff to assoc. press? Anyway, considering it's highly irregular to ask someone to be away from his or her family on Christmas day I'm sure you can make a case for delaying the flight.