Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

[Robertor]

LA Times right? A friend of mine works for the same paper. I was always under the impression they outsourced non-local stuff to assoc. press? Anyway, considering it's highly irregular to ask someone to be away from his or her family on Christmas day I'm sure you can make a case for delaying the flight.

I'm in a weird position, I'm sort of a half freelance, half contract journo. I get a lot of stuff from different places, most of which I can do from home with a couple of days at work. It's a complicated situation that I'm not really enjoying at the moment, which is good considering it's the only reason I'm in the country. But this thing at Christmas is just too much money to turn down. No one else would do it and I'm saving up to move house to move some of my family out here.

 

[caught]

I'm in a weird position, I'm sort of a half freelance, half contract journo. I get a lot of stuff from different places, most of which I can do from home with a couple of days at work. It's a complicated situation that I'm not really enjoying at the moment, which is good considering it's the only reason I'm in the country. But this thing at Christmas is just too much money to turn down. No one else would do it and I'm saving up to move house to move some of my family out here.

Ah right, so you're not a staffer? They take advantage of freelancers far too much, although it's rare they pay very well. I assumed you'd be contracted to AP if you're doing something as specific as an EC football game. Seems like a weird expense for the Times to take on.

I'm sure if you explain it's your first (?) Christmas over there they might be flexible.

 

[Robertor]

Ah right, so you're not a staffer? They take advantage of freelancers far too much, although it's rare they pay very well. I assumed you'd be contracted to AP if you're doing something as specific as an EC football game. Seems like a weird expense for the Times to take on.

I'm sure if you explain it's your first (?) Christmas over there they might be flexible.

I'm technically contracted to AP, but the simplist way for me to put it would be that I'm a freelance because it feels like freelance work. Which is why I don't like it. But I think for the next few years I'd rather be a freelance getting a proper journo's pay in LA than a proper journo working in England at a national paper. Need the experience of a new country for a bit. If I was home I might have quit by now if I'm being honest. I'm gonna try and get out of the whole Christmas trip and fly on Boxing Day instead but never know with these what'll happen.

 

[caught]

I'm technically contracted to AP, but the simplist way for me to put it would be that I'm a freelance because it feels like freelance work. Which is why I don't like it. But I think for the next few years I'd rather be a freelance getting a proper journo's pay in LA than a proper journo working in England at a national paper. Need the experience of a new country for a bit. If I was home I might have quit by now if I'm being honest. I'm gonna try and get out of the whole Christmas trip and fly on Boxing Day instead but never know with these what'll happen.

I wouldn't call yourself a freelancer if they're handing you well paid assignments mate - that's less common than a job on the docks these days. Obviously you're very highly regarded within the Times editorial office. I worked for the AP for a year after university and it was really nothing like what you're describing at all.

Even the most demanding people can be reasonable, so I'd just state my case and hope for the best.

 

[l4toffee]

Have a read of this, mate: http://www.theguardian.com/society/2015/jun/13/my-drinking-years-everyone-has-blackouts-dont-they

You're not alone by a long stretch and, as you already know, it has a lot to do with your mindset before you even take a sip.

nice one mate

 

[Groucho]

Posts here from a few days back regarding detoxification, essentially coming down from ale.

The first three days are the hardest but persevere.

 

[jal123]

Posts here from a few days back regarding detoxification, essentially coming down from ale.

The first three days are the hardest but persevere.

You're right. I got banned from driving years ago and had to have a blood test before I got my licence back, I read up online that 4 weeks of no ale brings your blood down to a normal level (at the rate I was drinking at the time, o couple of nights a week) and once I beat that first week it was fine. I've done times of not drinking on a weeknight etc and it's the first week that kills you, not sleeping, sweating etc.

 

[Groucho]

You're right. I got banned from driving years ago and had to have a blood test before I got my licence back, I read up online that 4 weeks of no ale brings your blood down to a normal level (at the rate I was drinking at the time, o couple of nights a week) and once I beat that first week it was fine. I've done times of not drinking on a weeknight etc and it's the first week that kills you, not sleeping, sweating etc.

They say with kicking any addiction, that if you crack 28 days you'll be fine, but I personally think that everyone has their own threshold.

 

[COYBL25]

They say with kicking any addiction, that if you crack 28 days you'll be fine, but I personally think that everyone has their own threshold.

I think that changing your lifestyle is equally as hard. If you have spent everyday in the pub for months or even years , you're part of the fabric of the place. You feel wanted and comfortable, plus it eases, loneliness, the monotony of everyday life or depression. Every corner pub has its day time crew for these reasons. Stopping the ale is only part of the problem, walking away from your old lifestyle and finding a new one that doesn't involve ale is horrendously difficult too.

 

[Groucho]

I think that changing your lifestyle is equally as hard. If you have spent everyday in the pub for months or even years , you're part of the fabric of the place. You feel wanted and comfortable, plus it eases, loneliness, the monotony of everyday life or depression. Every corner pub has its day time crew for these reasons. Stopping the ale is only part of the problem, walking away from your old lifestyle and finding a new one that doesn't involve ale is horrendously difficult too.

Very true.

 

[caught]

I think that changing your lifestyle is equally as hard. If you have spent everyday in the pub for months or even years , you're part of the fabric of the place. You feel wanted and comfortable, plus it eases, loneliness, the monotony of everyday life or depression. Every corner pub has its day time crew for these reasons. Stopping the ale is only part of the problem, walking away from your old lifestyle and finding a new one that doesn't involve ale is horrendously difficult too.

Absolutely, and the same can be said about less social activities like drinking at home. The normalisation of certain habits, say having a drink each night while you watch TV, can become part of your hardwiring very easily. My partner's mother, for example, drinks every single evening. If for whatever reason she doesn't have a glass of wine at her side by 8pm you can see the agitation and frustration rise - she can't get engaged with a film or a conversation whatsoever. Essentially, everything is boring without the booze, which is a kind of cognitive dependence that can affect anyone quite quickly.

Finding appropriate distraction through activities that can be enjoyed without alcohol is really important in this sense.

 

[DualityNSNO]

Well said, above, about alcohol addiction and problems.

Seriously, persevere. I know from experience it seems and it is hard to drop it altogether, but you'd be better off doing that and learning to control it (i.e. having a pint when out with mates every once in a while, instead of having 5 pints every single night etc).

Other than that bit of not very insightful input, I'm just gonna vent for a bit - had a bit of a crap week at work/life, culminating with an injury to my hipbone for which I'm trying to get an emergency appointment but can't at this moment so will have to try later tonight again... FFS. Basically it's painful to do anything but lie down, which is what I'm doing right now. That means I might have to skip a day or two of work, which in turn means less money

On a brighter note, one of my flatmates has a really cute friend who one of our mutual friends told me I should ask out, which was a confidence boost if nothing else... not that I have any idea on how to approach that situation, but hey-ho, I'll figure it out lol

 

[carlos21]

Well said, above, about alcohol addiction and problems.

Seriously, persevere. I know from experience it seems and it is hard to drop it altogether, but you'd be better off doing that and learning to control it (i.e. having a pint when out with mates every once in a while, instead of having 5 pints every single night etc).

Other than that bit of not very insightful input, I'm just gonna vent for a bit - had a bit of a crap week at work/life, culminating with an injury to my hipbone for which I'm trying to get an emergency appointment but can't at this moment so will have to try later tonight again... FFS. Basically it's painful to do anything but lie down, which is what I'm doing right now. That means I might have to skip a day or two of work, which in turn means less money

On a brighter note, one of my flatmates has a really cute friend who one of our mutual friends told me I should ask out, which was a confidence boost if nothing else... not that I have any idea on how to approach that situation, but hey-ho, I'll figure it out lol

Afternoon mate how are you today mate.

 

[Minimeister]

Whenever I've beaten an addiction in the past it's usually because I replaced it with something else! I went from drinking 7 nights a week to just the weekend but in the week I was then a heavy weed smoker. Cutting that out wasn't as difficult due to the fact I was never addicted but the sheer boredom then was hard to take. Then I started gambling too heavy and had to try and get myself off that! I've lost track over the years of waking up in the morning telling myself I'm going to give something up then by the evening I'll sit there and think well just tonight, what's the point in being bored for the rest of my life...If only bad things were good for you!

 

[COYBL25]

Whenever I've beaten an addiction in the past it's usually because I replaced it with something else! I went from drinking 7 nights a week to just the weekend but in the week I was then a heavy weed smoker. Cutting that out wasn't as difficult due to the fact I was never addicted but the sheer boredom then was hard to take. Then I started gambling too heavy and had to try and get myself off that! I've lost track over the years of waking up in the morning telling myself I'm going to give something up then by the evening I'll sit there and think well just tonight, what's the point in being bored for the rest of my life...If only bad things were good for you!

How did you eventually straighten everything out mate ?