l4toffee
Player Valuation: £40m
everton Will still be there when you get yourself well again mate . Do what's best for you lad .
l4toffee
Player Valuation: £40m
A year ago today was when I done something about my depression , came home started again .
If you told me then you'll be going back to Wembley in a year I'd if took that
It's not solved my problems but what a day to see the toffees get us back there . I enjoyed that today
Onward evertonians
If you told me then you'll be going back to Wembley in a year I'd if took that
It's not solved my problems but what a day to see the toffees get us back there . I enjoyed that today
Onward evertonians
Right, I need some words of wisdom! I've been struggling a lot recently with my emotions. I have social anxiety and it has become worse recently and started to affect my everyday life; I think it has now caused some depression or whatever. For example, I can't even have a meal out with family without feeling in edge and anxious and just like I want to leave! I get anxious leaving the house even to shop as I have left the safety net of my home. I find it difficult even explaining. Anyway, my anxiety also makes me dread and over think things in advance. Even silly things. Here's my current one which is causing me distress and only you guys will probably understand, maybe! If Everton manage to get to the FA Cup Final, then I will be on holiday and miss it. I never miss matches, Everton are one of the only things I look forward to... I've never seen us win a trophy. Now I'm totally aware that we might not even get there and even if we do, we might not even win it... But my mind won't shut up about it. It's making me all tense and emotional and I'm getting stomach aches etc. I should just feel the sadness and get on with it surely?! But no, it feels like the worst possible scenario in the world if I were to miss something like that. I've got perspective, I've got reasoning, I've got common sense... But my mind just won't listen to any of it. I'm really struggling. I suppose it's got nothing to do with the football in the grand scheme of things... It's that I can't cope with thoughts like this and it's taking over my life. I do the same with other things, this is just my current focus 
I feel utterly helpless and ridiculous.
I feel utterly helpless and ridiculous.
Right, I need some words of wisdom! I've been struggling a lot recently with my emotions. I have social anxiety and it has become worse recently and started to affect my everyday life; I think it has now caused some depression or whatever. For example, I can't even have a meal out with family without feeling in edge and anxious and just like I want to leave! I get anxious leaving the house even to shop as I have left the safety net of my home. I find it difficult even explaining. Anyway, my anxiety also makes me dread and over think things in advance. Even silly things. Here's my current one which is causing me distress and only you guys will probably understand, maybe! If Everton manage to get to the FA Cup Final, then I will be on holiday and miss it. I never miss matches, Everton are one of the only things I look forward to... I've never seen us win a trophy. Now I'm totally aware that we might not even get there and even if we do, we might not even win it... But my mind won't shut up about it. It's making me all tense and emotional and I'm getting stomach aches etc. I should just feel the sadness and get on with it surely?! But no, it feels like the worst possible scenario in the world if I were to miss something like that. I've got perspective, I've got reasoning, I've got common sense... But my mind just won't listen to any of it. I'm really struggling. I suppose it's got nothing to do with the football in the grand scheme of things... It's that I can't cope with thoughts like this and it's taking over my life. I do the same with other things, this is just my current focus
I feel utterly helpless and ridiculous.
Hi, I can only imagine how long it took you to write that post, as it's so hard to put into words how debilitating being locked into a cycle of anxiety really is.
I've suffered from anxiety problems now for over a decade and what you've described there is almost a text book diagnosis of chronic anxiety problems.
The best way to explain the way your feeling is - " you've become worried about being worried " and your now locked into this cycle of thinking - anxiety.
The first thing I'd ask is how long have you felt like this and did anything happen to kick it off ?
With me it was a horrendous situation in my old job which went on for well over two years, which burnt me out. It could be anything that caused it though, even something that could be deemed trivial by others.
The next thing is understanding anxiety. Without getting all technical, the brain produces various " mood " chemicals that are linked to sleep, waking, moods etc. What can happen under sustained periods of stress / grief etc is that the brain forgets to switch off these chemicals as its become so used to you being in a permanent state of stress / grief etc, causing a permanent state of anxiety in the sufferer.
My advice to you would be firstly to see your GP asap and be brutally honest with him/ her. Ask about CBT ( talking therapy), they may also wish to prescribe you sedatives. Which work beautifully, however they are habit forming and shouldn't be taken for more than two weeks. ( Very important that bit ).
If you feel you are able to, talk to your loved ones and let them know how you are at the mo, chances are they will have already noticed and may not have felt able to mention it. It really is good to get it off your chest and bottling it up just makes anxiety much much worse.
Have a look at this NHS run website, which is wonderful for talking to others in the same situation, who support each other online :
MENTAL HEALTH FORUM.
I fully understand how everyday social situations send you into a tailspin of anxiety as I've been there and to a certain extent and still am - I don't like my in laws and when I know they are coming to stay, my head almost feels like it's lifting off due to anxiety and I'm virtually unable to sleep for days before they come .
However it's massively important that you don't lock yourself away, as this will ultimately make your anxiety much much worse. You won't feel like doing it, but force yourself out for a walk, go to the shops. Exercise helps enormously too.
If you want to do a bit of reasearch to help you understand anxiety, have a look at the effects of the chemicals CHORTISOL and ADRENALIN on the body / brain and how you're brain can become almost locked into a cycle of wrongly producing these chemicals.
I truly hope some of this helps you and if you ever need to talk please don't hesitate to pm me ?
BiggyRat
Player Valuation: £35m
COYBL25 has given you a great response efc_girl, so I'll keep this brief...
My local AFL team have won 5 Grand Finals in my lifetime & I've not been to any of them. I still enjoyed the moment, celebrated with those close to me, and basked in the glow of success as much as the next person. You can aim to be there, you can hope to be there, but you cannot allow it to dictate your life or affect your wellbeing. The holiday was planned well beforehand & the timing is unfortunate...it's as simple as that.
As much as this is heresy on this site, it's just a game. Your health outweighs any match day concerns.
My local AFL team have won 5 Grand Finals in my lifetime & I've not been to any of them. I still enjoyed the moment, celebrated with those close to me, and basked in the glow of success as much as the next person. You can aim to be there, you can hope to be there, but you cannot allow it to dictate your life or affect your wellbeing. The holiday was planned well beforehand & the timing is unfortunate...it's as simple as that.
Never feel ridiculous. This is a genuine illness like any other. You don't feel ridiculous for the Flu, same goes here. As for feeling helpless, you've started to seek help, good on you! You are no longer helpless because help is coming your way.
This is a great response. Thank you. I went to see my GP last week and just broke down. I don't particularly want to have medication as I don't want to rely on that and just have it masking the anxiety or whatever. He put through a referral to get therapy but I've had it before via the NHS and I didn't find it useful as they seemed to just want to get rid of me because of the huge waiting list of people! I had a good day once when I went and they signed me off saying I was better! So I'm sceptical of that now. Do you know if it's better to go private? I'm also worried about it because of the social anxiety itself which is making me dread talking to people about all my stuff.
Thank you again. It was a great response with a lot of time and effort put into it. It's nice to feel understood!
Another great response! Thank you. I am totally with you on that... I know it's just a game and I know how ridiculous it is to even think these things... But I think it must be just the fact I can't cope at the moment... It's the way I'm reacting to things. Instead of just getting on with it, I'm worrying about something that might not even happen and even if it does, doesn't really matter in the grand scheme of things. What I'm struggling with is the fact I can't get it out of my head and it's eating away at me! I don't want it there!
Thank you. You all make me feel less ridiculous. It means a lot.
I have the utmost admiration and respect for the contributors to this thread, their honesty and openness is remarkable and I have no doubt at all that people reading can recognise their own symptoms in some of the responses. I hope this thread and the good advice given within it is helpful and comforting to our friends out there in their hour of need.
counsillor cox
Player Valuation: £2.5m
Hello there, have you looked up a form of OCD called intrusive thoughts? Its where thoughts enter your head, mostly irrational, and you find a way of twisting and contorting them until they physically hurt and effect everything you do. Its something im struggling with at the moment to be honest but there is treatment available, medication and cognitive therapy, im seeing a therapist myself for it on friday for the first time so your certainly not on your own and help is out there. Good luck, and wish me luckRight, I need some words of wisdom! I've been struggling a lot recently with my emotions. I have social anxiety and it has become worse recently and started to affect my everyday life; I think it has now caused some depression or whatever. For example, I can't even have a meal out with family without feeling in edge and anxious and just like I want to leave! I get anxious leaving the house even to shop as I have left the safety net of my home. I find it difficult even explaining. Anyway, my anxiety also makes me dread and over think things in advance. Even silly things. Here's my current one which is causing me distress and only you guys will probably understand, maybe! If Everton manage to get to the FA Cup Final, then I will be on holiday and miss it. I never miss matches, Everton are one of the only things I look forward to... I've never seen us win a trophy. Now I'm totally aware that we might not even get there and even if we do, we might not even win it... But my mind won't shut up about it. It's making me all tense and emotional and I'm getting stomach aches etc. I should just feel the sadness and get on with it surely?! But no, it feels like the worst possible scenario in the world if I were to miss something like that. I've got perspective, I've got reasoning, I've got common sense... But my mind just won't listen to any of it. I'm really struggling. I suppose it's got nothing to do with the football in the grand scheme of things... It's that I can't cope with thoughts like this and it's taking over my life. I do the same with other things, this is just my current focus
I feel utterly helpless and ridiculous.
kithnou
Player Valuation: £70m
Never say that word to describe yourself again. Ever.Another great response! Thank you. I am totally with you on that... I know it's just a game and I know how ridiculous it is to even think these things... But I think it must be just the fact I can't cope at the moment... It's the way I'm reacting to things. Instead of just getting on with it, I'm worrying about something that might not even happen and even if it does, doesn't really matter in the grand scheme of things. What I'm struggling with is the fact I can't get it out of my head and it's eating away at me! I don't want it there!
Thank you. You all make me feel less ridiculous. It means a lot.
eternal_defiance
Player Valuation: £8m
I am currently sectioned and in hospital mainly due to a minor incident alcohol-influenced last year in October. Since being in hospital I have obviously not drank but not even that has led to a discharge. I haven't slept at my home address since October and I haven't been able to use my laptop, meet friends or play fifa or anything I took for granted. I haven't watched a film since October 2015. I am getting more and more depressed and frustrated, it is intolerable. There are people here who have stabbed people, there's nutjobs goin on about islam and kicking everybody who they think is a 'devil', there's seriously disturbed people in my room when I walk in sometimes going through my stuff. Last few days an absolute nutjob walking around grabbing onto my arm and talking the weirdest things you can imagine. The list goes on. Some staff are gormless and useless, it is imposssible to keep control of my temper at all times in this environment. I see no light at the end of the tunnel because I am 4 months into a 6 month section and they're planning to section me again. My evil sadistic consultant has referred me to a forensic ward (no idea what that is but sounds awful) and said if they don't take me then it will be a locked ward which will be even more restrictive. I am scared I won't even have access to my phone which has been keeping me sane the last few weeks. I've lost my temper only a few times and always after idiocy and ridiculous incompetency, but I haven't assaulted anyone, patients and staff included. I wish for death every day. I know nobody can really help me. Appealing sections and tribunals with so-called 'independent' panels has proved farcical. The consultant is allowed to do what she wants. There's no talk of mental illness or voices (never had any) in our weekly 'ward round' it is just like a head master dishing out punishment to people she doesn't like. They are heartless and ruthless, my bed could be used for a homeless person but if any homeless people are hospitalised they don't section them, they keep them as 'voluntary' or 'informal' patients and dump them back onto the street without solving accommodation if they want to free up a bed. Once you're on a section they cannot discharge you in that manner, but I have a home to go to, where I am wanted, and the consultant just wants to keep me in the system and environments such as this. Having staff poke through my door window every hour, and switch my light on and off every hour through the night, is depressing and annoying. I have not refused any medication I have complied with everything and I am getting nowhere. Thanks to GOT for giving me something pleasant to think about and take some pressure off of me.
Hello there, have you looked up a form of OCD called intrusive thoughts? Its where thoughts enter your head, mostly irrational, and you find a way of twisting and contorting them until they physically hurt and effect everything you do. Its something im struggling with at the moment to be honest but there is treatment available, medication and cognitive therapy, im seeing a therapist myself for it on friday for the first time so your certainly not on your own and help is out there. Good luck, and wish me luck
Thank you, I haven't heard of it but I will look it up now! How did you get to that conclusion that yours is that particular problem? Was it diagnosed or anything? I wish you the best of luck and hope it helps you to overcome your worries. It's nice to know we aren't alone as you can really start to feel that way.
counsillor cox
Player Valuation: £2.5m
Sorry, im just on my way to work, i will reply to you as soon as i get home.
I know you said you didnt want to depend on medication but why not try and perhaps regard it as you would a pair of crutches with a broken ankle ...just a temporary means of support. There are many success stories regarding the much maligned serotonin related meds like seroxat. These low dose tablets arent a magic wand to severe anxiety related suffering, but can give you a subtle lift in brain chemicals the knock on effect being to stop the stress levels rising. These high enduring stress levels cause the adrenal glands to constantly pour out hormones like cortisol and adrenaline which then keep everything on the alert. Every situation is then put under the microscope even when theres no real threat or harm...for example, getting to the cup final is brilliant > being on holiday doesnt make it any less fantastic, just an unfortunate coincidence that could always be altered. As you feel less anxious, its not a question of staying on the medication permanently...its a prop not a third leg. Being able to start to deal with your feelings will be the foundation to getting better and though you may be on the medication for six months at least, its not the addictive prescription for life that was often sensationalised. In my experience lots of people have been helped to gain a foothold back on their lives and then said goodbye to the meds. I hope you feel better very soon.
Hi, you've obviously struck a chord with people, as there's some great stuff advice been posted since your original post.
Re medication, as @Jacob says it doesn't have to be permanent and is something I'd consider initially just to get you back on track. As you say it won't fix the anxiety in the long term, but the respite it gives could possibly give you a chance to re focus how you're going to treat it.
Re going private, as much as it galls me to say it, if you can afford it, it will certainly speed things up - weeks rather than months. This may sound a bit off the wall, have you considered hypnotherapy if your thinking about going private ?.
It's not something I've done myself, but I have read some very good reports from people with social anxiety.
Do you have anyone that your really close to that you could confide in ?. It will make you feel much much better with someone to talk to. Doesn't have to be a family member. I remember when I decided not to hide things anymore that a lad I know who really is larger than life, told me in private that he'd been on meds for years for depression. I can guarantee that at least one person that you know will be taking medication for sometime like depression. You're ill, it's nothing to ashamed of, you're head can break, just the same as a bone .
The more you bottle this up and the more you avoid social situations,the more it will take over your life. It doesn't have to be like this, you've just got to work out a way through it