Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

[efc_girl]

I know you said you didnt want to depend on medication but why not try and perhaps regard it as you would a pair of crutches with a broken ankle ...just a temporary means of support. There are many success stories regarding the much maligned serotonin related meds like seroxat. These low dose tablets arent a magic wand to severe anxiety related suffering, but can give you a subtle lift in brain chemicals the knock on effect being to stop the stress levels rising. These high enduring stress levels cause the adrenal glands to constantly pour out hormones like cortisol and adrenaline which then keep everything on the alert. Every situation is then put under the microscope even when theres no real threat or harm...for example, getting to the cup final is brilliant > being on holiday doesnt make it any less fantastic, just an unfortunate coincidence that could always be altered. As you feel less anxious, its not a question of staying on the medication permanently...its a prop not a third leg. Being able to start to deal with your feelings will be the foundation to getting better and though you may be on the medication for six months at least, its not the addictive prescription for life that was often sensationalised. In my experience lots of people have been helped to gain a foothold back on their lives and then said goodbye to the meds. I hope you feel better very soon.

Yeah, I have been considering whether medication in the short term would at least help the stress reduce a bit. I am going on the said holiday with my boyfriend's family who are very sociable and every time I even go to visit them, I panic and snap and get in moods etc; I just want to avoid situations like that... They make me uncomfortable and I feel judged Anyway, I went on holiday with them in December and it was fine as we had time to ourselves mainly, but I could do without this holiday coming up which is for three weeks and we will be living in the same villa etc and everyone together 24/7 basically (or that's what I am expecting)... I think the original thought of dread surrounding that coupled with these panicked cup final thoughts, is just winding me up. Deep down I think I know that I will probably enjoy the holiday and whatever happens re Everton will happen and that's that... But as I have said, I can't stop thinking negatively. It's like I'm having constant battles with my emotions, every day. These are just two of the things that go around my head on a daily basis if medication could calm me down a little bit then maybe it is the way forward. I can't have these irrational thoughts controlling my life

 

[blueloon]

I am currently sectioned and in hospital mainly due to a minor incident alcohol-influenced last year in October. Since being in hospital I have obviously not drank but not even that has led to a discharge. I haven't slept at my home address since October and I haven't been able to use my laptop, meet friends or play fifa or anything I took for granted. I haven't watched a film since October 2015. I am getting more and more depressed and frustrated, it is intolerable. There are people here who have stabbed people, there's nutjobs goin on about islam and kicking everybody who they think is a 'devil', there's seriously disturbed people in my room when I walk in sometimes going through my stuff. Last few days an absolute nutjob walking around grabbing onto my arm and talking the weirdest things you can imagine. The list goes on. Some staff are gormless and useless, it is imposssible to keep control of my temper at all times in this environment. I see no light at the end of the tunnel because I am 4 months into a 6 month section and they're planning to section me again. My evil sadistic consultant has referred me to a forensic ward (no idea what that is but sounds awful) and said if they don't take me then it will be a locked ward which will be even more restrictive. I am scared I won't even have access to my phone which has been keeping me sane the last few weeks. I've lost my temper only a few times and always after idiocy and ridiculous incompetency, but I haven't assaulted anyone, patients and staff included. I wish for death every day. I know nobody can really help me. Appealing sections and tribunals with so-called 'independent' panels has proved farcical. The consultant is allowed to do what she wants. There's no talk of mental illness or voices (never had any) in our weekly 'ward round' it is just like a head master dishing out punishment to people she doesn't like. They are heartless and ruthless, my bed could be used for a homeless person but if any homeless people are hospitalised they don't section them, they keep them as 'voluntary' or 'informal' patients and dump them back onto the street without solving accommodation if they want to free up a bed. Once you're on a section they cannot discharge you in that manner, but I have a home to go to, where I am wanted, and the consultant just wants to keep me in the system and environments such as this. Having staff poke through my door window every hour, and switch my light on and off every hour through the night, is depressing and annoying. I have not refused any medication I have complied with everything and I am getting nowhere. Thanks to GOT for giving me something pleasant to think about and take some pressure off of me.

That's a pretty difficult situation you describe, and nothing like anything I've personally experienced so difficult to advise. My step daughter was in a similar ward a few years ago so I do have that second hand knowledge and recognise the surroundings you describe, and the people . It was a long slow process for her, but there is light at the end of that tunnel mate, good luck and of course keep posting on GOT if it helps.

 

[efc_girl]

Hi, you've obviously struck a chord with people, as there's some great stuff advice been posted since your original post.

Re medication, as @Jacob says it doesn't have to be permanent and is something I'd consider initially just to get you back on track. As you say it won't fix the anxiety in the long term, but the respite it gives could possibly give you a chance to re focus how you're going to treat it.

Re going private, as much as it galls me to say it, if you can afford it, it will certainly speed things up - weeks rather than months. This may sound a bit off the wall, have you considered hypnotherapy if your thinking about going private ?.
It's not something I've done myself, but I have read some very good reports from people with social anxiety.

Do you have anyone that your really close to that you could confide in ?. It will make you feel much much better with someone to talk to. Doesn't have to be a family member. I remember when I decided not to hide things anymore that a lad I know who really is larger than life, told me in private that he'd been on meds for years for depression. I can guarantee that at least one person that you know will be taking medication for sometime like depression. You're ill, it's nothing to ashamed of, you're head can break, just the same as a bone .

The more you bottle this up and the more you avoid social situations,the more it will take over your life. It doesn't have to be like this, you've just got to work out a way through it

I just think with private as well that they may be more focussed on helping you rather than getting through patients on the waiting list?! I could be wrong, but my experience definitely made me believe that was the case, unfortunately. I have never looked into hypnotherapy; again, I shall look it up in a minute and see if it sounds beneficial.

I talk to my boyfriend and some friends; my mum and sister too, but I feel embarrassed whoever I am talking to. I probably tell the most to my boyfriend. I still just feel embarrassed though and dramatic I suppose! Even though people reassure me I'm not. I think it's hard for most people to understand if they're not going through it etc or have been through it. I am surrounded by supportive people though, which is nice.

I'd love to work a way through it. It's a lot worse recently and it's made me sit up and think I need to do something about it.

I appreciate everyone's advice; it's been really helpful so far.

 

[Groucho]

I am currently sectioned and in hospital mainly due to a minor incident alcohol-influenced last year in October. Since being in hospital I have obviously not drank but not even that has led to a discharge. I haven't slept at my home address since October and I haven't been able to use my laptop, meet friends or play fifa or anything I took for granted. I haven't watched a film since October 2015. I am getting more and more depressed and frustrated, it is intolerable. There are people here who have stabbed people, there's nutjobs goin on about islam and kicking everybody who they think is a 'devil', there's seriously disturbed people in my room when I walk in sometimes going through my stuff. Last few days an absolute nutjob walking around grabbing onto my arm and talking the weirdest things you can imagine. The list goes on. Some staff are gormless and useless, it is imposssible to keep control of my temper at all times in this environment. I see no light at the end of the tunnel because I am 4 months into a 6 month section and they're planning to section me again. My evil sadistic consultant has referred me to a forensic ward (no idea what that is but sounds awful) and said if they don't take me then it will be a locked ward which will be even more restrictive. I am scared I won't even have access to my phone which has been keeping me sane the last few weeks. I've lost my temper only a few times and always after idiocy and ridiculous incompetency, but I haven't assaulted anyone, patients and staff included. I wish for death every day. I know nobody can really help me. Appealing sections and tribunals with so-called 'independent' panels has proved farcical. The consultant is allowed to do what she wants. There's no talk of mental illness or voices (never had any) in our weekly 'ward round' it is just like a head master dishing out punishment to people she doesn't like. They are heartless and ruthless, my bed could be used for a homeless person but if any homeless people are hospitalised they don't section them, they keep them as 'voluntary' or 'informal' patients and dump them back onto the street without solving accommodation if they want to free up a bed. Once you're on a section they cannot discharge you in that manner, but I have a home to go to, where I am wanted, and the consultant just wants to keep me in the system and environments such as this. Having staff poke through my door window every hour, and switch my light on and off every hour through the night, is depressing and annoying. I have not refused any medication I have complied with everything and I am getting nowhere. Thanks to GOT for giving me something pleasant to think about and take some pressure off of me.

Sounds like you're going through a rough time.

 

[Jacob]

Yeah, I have been considering whether medication in the short term would at least help the stress reduce a bit. I am going on the said holiday with my boyfriend's family who are very sociable and every time I even go to visit them, I panic and snap and get in moods etc; I just want to avoid situations like that... They make me uncomfortable and I feel judged Anyway, I went on holiday with them in December and it was fine as we had time to ourselves mainly, but I could do without this holiday coming up which is for three weeks and we will be living in the same villa etc and everyone together 24/7 basically (or that's what I am expecting)... I think the original thought of dread surrounding that coupled with these panicked cup final thoughts, is just winding me up. Deep down I think I know that I will probably enjoy the holiday and whatever happens re Everton will happen and that's that... But as I have said, I can't stop thinking negatively. It's like I'm having constant battles with my emotions, every day. These are just two of the things that go around my head on a daily basis if medication could calm me down a little bit then maybe it is the way forward. I can't have these irrational thoughts controlling my life

To be honest, given that you've felt uncomfortable and judged by your fella's family in the past, its entirely normal that you should feel the same about the upcoming holiday. Don't beat yourself up about feeling like that......and its not irrational. Three weeks is a bloody long time to be cooped up with any small group of people full stop !! Perhaps take a bit of time out to maybe ask yourself if you two really have to go away with them and also so frequently given you only did so before Christmas. You could, by changing the pattern, reduce the stress of being away with them so often and also the anticipation and dread of doing so which is probably just as bad as the event itself. Your fella will want to help you so why not break the mould and go away on your own, just the two of you, so that that becomes the norm eventually rather than the exception.

 

[COYBL25]

I just think with private as well that they may be more focussed on helping you rather than getting through patients on the waiting list?! I could be wrong, but my experience definitely made me believe that was the case, unfortunately. I have never looked into hypnotherapy; again, I shall look it up in a minute and see if it sounds beneficial.

I talk to my boyfriend and some friends; my mum and sister too, but I feel embarrassed whoever I am talking to. I probably tell the most to my boyfriend. I still just feel embarrassed though and dramatic I suppose! Even though people reassure me I'm not. I think it's hard for most people to understand if they're not going through it etc or have been through it. I am surrounded by supportive people though, which is nice.

I'd love to work a way through it. It's a lot worse recently and it's made me sit up and think I need to do something about it.

I appreciate everyone's advice; it's been really helpful so far.

I fully understand how difficult it is to talk to those around you about this due to the perceived stigma that surrounds mental health. How about joining the NHS Mental Health forum. You'll be able to talk anonymously with people in a similar situation to me with non of the worry that opening up to those around you would bring ?.

Ps - I went away for a week with my inlaws and the rest of their family, so I know where you are coming from !

 

[Deleted member 28206]

I am currently sectioned and in hospital mainly due to a minor incident alcohol-influenced last year in October. Since being in hospital I have obviously not drank but not even that has led to a discharge. I haven't slept at my home address since October and I haven't been able to use my laptop, meet friends or play fifa or anything I took for granted. I haven't watched a film since October 2015. I am getting more and more depressed and frustrated, it is intolerable. There are people here who have stabbed people, there's nutjobs goin on about islam and kicking everybody who they think is a 'devil', there's seriously disturbed people in my room when I walk in sometimes going through my stuff. Last few days an absolute nutjob walking around grabbing onto my arm and talking the weirdest things you can imagine. The list goes on. Some staff are gormless and useless, it is imposssible to keep control of my temper at all times in this environment. I see no light at the end of the tunnel because I am 4 months into a 6 month section and they're planning to section me again. My evil sadistic consultant has referred me to a forensic ward (no idea what that is but sounds awful) and said if they don't take me then it will be a locked ward which will be even more restrictive. I am scared I won't even have access to my phone which has been keeping me sane the last few weeks. I've lost my temper only a few times and always after idiocy and ridiculous incompetency, but I haven't assaulted anyone, patients and staff included. I wish for death every day. I know nobody can really help me. Appealing sections and tribunals with so-called 'independent' panels has proved farcical. The consultant is allowed to do what she wants. There's no talk of mental illness or voices (never had any) in our weekly 'ward round' it is just like a head master dishing out punishment to people she doesn't like. They are heartless and ruthless, my bed could be used for a homeless person but if any homeless people are hospitalised they don't section them, they keep them as 'voluntary' or 'informal' patients and dump them back onto the street without solving accommodation if they want to free up a bed. Once you're on a section they cannot discharge you in that manner, but I have a home to go to, where I am wanted, and the consultant just wants to keep me in the system and environments such as this. Having staff poke through my door window every hour, and switch my light on and off every hour through the night, is depressing and annoying. I have not refused any medication I have complied with everything and I am getting nowhere. Thanks to GOT for giving me something pleasant to think about and take some pressure off of me.

Mate, that sounds like a world of pain and emotion, as I often offer here. I'll always be open to private messages even if it's just to chat.

That in itself is therapeutic.

 

[eternal_defiance]

Thanks people....

 

[BiggyRat]

I'd love to work a way through it. It's a lot worse recently and it's made me sit up and think I need to do something about it.

A good start. With the guidance of a medical professional you trust, medication can give you an extended time to work your way through it. I fully agree with not wanting to go down that path & the guy I was seeing said medication was unnecessary in my case, and we managed to work through it.

Keep talking to your closest friends & family. Generally you get unconditional love & support from them. I feel sad for those that cannot confide in their family as it's the best support network that I have.

 

[BiggyRat]

Thanks people....

ED, I didn't respond to your initial post as I have sod all life experience with what you are going through. Having said that, have you considered writing down all your daily experiences? If you're being treated unfairly, then you have a record of it all. If it's just how things are done in Blighty, then you have a magnificent record of where you were at once you pull through.

Anyway, take care, bide your time, and don't give them any excuses. Play the game & pull through mate!

 

[counsillor cox]

Thank you, I haven't heard of it but I will look it up now! How did you get to that conclusion that yours is that particular problem? Was it diagnosed or anything? I wish you the best of luck and hope it helps you to overcome your worries. It's nice to know we aren't alone as you can really start to feel that way.

Hello again, sorry for the late response but like i said, im struggling myself at the minute. It was something i stumbled upon to be honest, ive done quite a lot of reading up on various mental illnesses and nothing seemed quite what i was feeling. Then for no reason i had a look at OCD and its affects,not believing i would find anything because i probably like most people think of OCD as the people who arrange the tins in the cupboard, wash their hands until they bleed, light switches, ete etc, but theres loads of different types of OCD, the social phobia that your struggling with at the moment is considered a form of it. I'd definitely recommend having a look, it may help you in your search for some answers.

 

[efc_girl]

To be honest, given that you've felt uncomfortable and judged by your fella's family in the past, its entirely normal that you should feel the same about the upcoming holiday. Don't beat yourself up about feeling like that......and its not irrational. Three weeks is a bloody long time to be cooped up with any small group of people full stop !! Perhaps take a bit of time out to maybe ask yourself if you two really have to go away with them and also so frequently given you only did so before Christmas. You could, by changing the pattern, reduce the stress of being away with them so often and also the anticipation and dread of doing so which is probably just as bad as the event itself. Your fella will want to help you so why not break the mould and go away on your own, just the two of you, so that that becomes the norm eventually rather than the exception.

It will be the last time we go away with them I think. The one in December had been booked for years and before I was even on the scene! The one coming up is his sister's 30th birthday so we are going in celebration of that. We have both said that we don't want to go away again really with them... I just have to get through it. It was hard enough before the prospect of missing my Everton boys... Haha

 

[efc_girl]

Hello again, sorry for the late response but like i said, im struggling myself at the minute. It was something i stumbled upon to be honest, ive done quite a lot of reading up on various mental illnesses and nothing seemed quite what i was feeling. Then for no reason i had a look at OCD and its affects,not believing i would find anything because i probably like most people think of OCD as the people who arrange the tins in the cupboard, wash their hands until they bleed, light switches, ete etc, but theres loads of different types of OCD, the social phobia that your struggling with at the moment is considered a form of it. I'd definitely recommend having a look, it may help you in your search for some answers.

I had a good look at it yesterday and I have to say there are a lot of crossovers with how I am feeling. Thank you for making me aware of OCD having this effect. As you say, I just thought what everyone else did about it! My mum called me yesterday telling me that my sister booked me an appointment at some counselling place that she has been recommended and I will have a consultation for them to decide the best person for me to speak to. This is next Wednesday, I am nervous but it will have to be done.

 

[COYBL25]

I had a good look at it yesterday and I have to say there are a lot of crossovers with how I am feeling. Thank you for making me aware of OCD having this effect. As you say, I just thought what everyone else did about it! My mum called me yesterday telling me that my sister booked me an appointment at some counselling place that she has been recommended and I will have a consultation for them to decide the best person for me to speak to. This is next Wednesday, I am nervous but it will have to be done.

Let us all know how it goes. I know it's easy for me say, but you really have nothing to be nervous about. The consultation will be incredibly informal and my advice to you would be to be as honest as you can. The more info they have the better they'll be at deciding upon the right course of treatment for you.

You may not think this, but you've taken massive steps already since you started posting, keep up the good work

 

[counsillor cox]

I had a good look at it yesterday and I have to say there are a lot of crossovers with how I am feeling. Thank you for making me aware of OCD having this effect. As you say, I just thought what everyone else did about it! My mum called me yesterday telling me that my sister booked me an appointment at some counselling place that she has been recommended and I will have a consultation for them to decide the best person for me to speak to. This is next Wednesday, I am nervous but it will have to be done.

Your very welcome, and best of luck for next week, let us know how you get on