Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

GwladysBlue said:
I'm going to give them another couple of weeks and then phone back.

Yeah, I've done the phone assessment.

I can't take any medication due to the job I'm in, it's a long story.

I've been to counselling before, a few years ago. I wasn't totally honest with everything that was going on at the time, so didn't get the most out of it. I was only a teenager then though, it was a bit daunting telling a stranger my life problems. I'm prepared to be more open this time around.
Click to expand...
Going to counselling is like going to the gym. You get out what you put in. If that makes sense. But yeah I'm a bit older and I can't imagine how tough that would be for a teenager. Just be strong and brave. This can't dictate your life
 
Just putting a thought out - one of the ways I began working through depression was by finding ways to be more active. Like others, I spent some time at the gym - another way that I used to get outside and meet some people outside my normal circles was Meetup.com. I used it as a way to find people to go hiking with (I live in Colorado, USA). The thing I discovered about this site is that there is a group for most any activity of interest, from dog lovers to hikers, bikers to bridge players, "knitters" to "crocheters" (not sure if that's a big difference or not) - anyway, it was a pretty low-risk, low-cost way to get out of my normal routines, meet a few folks who became nice acquaintances and/or friends. This was important to me because I didn't have to talk about depression or how I was feeling, I just had to participate and by doing that, I felt better.

This wasn't a miracle cure and probably isn't perfect for everyone - but I know I enjoyed it and I think it helped me.

Ok, off my soapbox now. Obligatory disclaimer: I am not in anyway connected to Meetup.com, I just liked the way I could find things to do.

- David

PS Is it April yet? I really want to change my profile pic but am obligated to @kithnou for a few more days. Darn stupid bet.
 
MrPerfectNot said:
Just putting a thought out - one of the ways I began working through depression was by finding ways to be more active. Like others, I spent some time at the gym - another way that I used to get outside and meet some people outside my normal circles was Meetup.com. I used it as a way to find people to go hiking with (I live in Colorado, USA). The thing I discovered about this site is that there is a group for most any activity of interest, from dog lovers to hikers, bikers to bridge players, "knitters" to "crocheters" (not sure if that's a big difference or not) - anyway, it was a pretty low-risk, low-cost way to get out of my normal routines, meet a few folks who became nice acquaintances and/or friends. This was important to me because I didn't have to talk about depression or how I was feeling, I just had to participate and by doing that, I felt better.

This wasn't a miracle cure and probably isn't perfect for everyone - but I know I enjoyed it and I think it helped me.

Ok, off my soapbox now. Obligatory disclaimer: I am not in anyway connected to Meetup.com, I just liked the way I could find things to do.

- David

PS Is it April yet? I really want to change my profile pic but am obligated to @kithnou for a few more days. Darn stupid bet.
Click to expand...

Great bit of info there for people who might not have thought about it before.

A lot of people lose contact with friends and family when their heads are down and the loneliness can sometimes make it worse.

Thanks for sharing!
 
I am a user here, I've decided to post this anonymously. Not because I don't want people here to know who I am, but in the very small chance my partner would read this under my user.

I went out on Friday with a few mates of mine, we ended up chatting to a group of girls for a while, didn't think too much of it at the time (both of us are fairly liberal about this, I have no problem with her chatting to guys if out with friends etc and vice versa. Because of this, we have never had an argument in our 9 year relationship about jealousy/trust.) I was pretty oblivious at the time, but when I went to the toilet, the girl i was sat next to 'grabbed' me and tried to kiss me. I stopped her and talk her I am engaged, she said she respected me for telling her and we just carried on talking, nothing else happened at all, and we just spoke about normal stuff, ended with a semi hug, she said my gf was lucky to have a guy like me but said she it was a 'shame' but nice to see there are 'good men' out there still.

The problem here is i have been thinking about her a bit more than I should and I am feeling guilty, even though nothing happened. it's not the first time at all I have been 'chatted up' but normally i brush it off as a nice confidence boost. I think I may have just spoken to her a bit too long, normally if I tell someone i am in a relationship it ends there. I never have, and never would cheat on anyone.

Do I have something to feel guilty about? I don't know.
 
test said:
I am a user here, I've decided to post this anonymously. Not because I don't want people here to know who I am, but in the very small chance my partner would read this under my user.

I went out on Friday with a few mates of mine, we ended up chatting to a group of girls for a while, didn't think too much of it at the time (both of us are fairly liberal about this, I have no problem with her chatting to guys if out with friends etc and vice versa. Because of this, we have never had an argument in our 9 year relationship about jealousy/trust.) I was pretty oblivious at the time, but when I went to the toilet, the girl i was sat next to 'grabbed' me and tried to kiss me. I stopped her and talk her I am engaged, she said she respected me for telling her and we just carried on talking, nothing else happened at all, and we just spoke about normal stuff, ended with a semi hug, she said my gf was lucky to have a guy like me but said she it was a 'shame' but nice to see there are 'good men' out there still.

The problem here is i have been thinking about her a bit more than I should and I am feeling guilty, even though nothing happened. it's not the first time at all I have been 'chatted up' but normally i brush it off as a nice confidence boost. I think I may have just spoken to her a bit too long, normally if I tell someone i am in a relationship it ends there. I never have, and never would cheat on anyone.

Do I have something to feel guilty about? I don't know.
Click to expand...
I don't think so mate. You did what you could to diffuse the situation.

You're human, and it's bound to play on your mind for a bit. It will fade.

Rather than feel guilty, I'd feel good that you stopped something that could've gone a lot further.

I'd say well done.
 

Groucho said:
I don't think so mate. You did what you could to diffuse the situation.

You're human, and it's bound to play on your mind for a bit. It will fade.

Rather than feel guilty, I'd feel good that you stopped something that could've gone a lot further.

I'd say well done.
Click to expand...

Cheers

Guess it will, just normally I haven't thought about it at all (3 times or so in the last few years, not every other week!). Think this was just a bit more out of my comfort zone as I got on with her pretty well when normally, I didn't really get to know the person.
 
test said:
I am a user here, I've decided to post this anonymously. Not because I don't want people here to know who I am, but in the very small chance my partner would read this under my user.

I went out on Friday with a few mates of mine, we ended up chatting to a group of girls for a while, didn't think too much of it at the time (both of us are fairly liberal about this, I have no problem with her chatting to guys if out with friends etc and vice versa. Because of this, we have never had an argument in our 9 year relationship about jealousy/trust.) I was pretty oblivious at the time, but when I went to the toilet, the girl i was sat next to 'grabbed' me and tried to kiss me. I stopped her and talk her I am engaged, she said she respected me for telling her and we just carried on talking, nothing else happened at all, and we just spoke about normal stuff, ended with a semi hug, she said my gf was lucky to have a guy like me but said she it was a 'shame' but nice to see there are 'good men' out there still.

The problem here is i have been thinking about her a bit more than I should and I am feeling guilty, even though nothing happened. it's not the first time at all I have been 'chatted up' but normally i brush it off as a nice confidence boost. I think I may have just spoken to her a bit too long, normally if I tell someone i am in a relationship it ends there. I never have, and never would cheat on anyone.

Do I have something to feel guilty about? I don't know.
Click to expand...

Firstly, regarding the attempted kiss, it sounds like you handled the situation really well.

As for thinking about it, I think that's completely normal. Could be a little bit of "What if..." daydreaming that we all get from time to time.
What if I took that job.... What if I didn't break up with her etc

Just human nature and curiosity really.
 
TheAlmightyFloater said:
Firstly, regarding the attempted kiss, it sounds like you handled the situation really well.

As for thinking about it, I think that's completely normal. Could be a little bit of "What if..." daydreaming that we all get from time to time.
What if I took that job.... What if I didn't break up with her etc

Just human nature and curiosity really.
Click to expand...

Yeah, you're right. That's all it'll be tbh.

Thanks all!
 

test said:
I am a user here, I've decided to post this anonymously. Not because I don't want people here to know who I am, but in the very small chance my partner would read this under my user.

I went out on Friday with a few mates of mine, we ended up chatting to a group of girls for a while, didn't think too much of it at the time (both of us are fairly liberal about this, I have no problem with her chatting to guys if out with friends etc and vice versa. Because of this, we have never had an argument in our 9 year relationship about jealousy/trust.) I was pretty oblivious at the time, but when I went to the toilet, the girl i was sat next to 'grabbed' me and tried to kiss me. I stopped her and talk her I am engaged, she said she respected me for telling her and we just carried on talking, nothing else happened at all, and we just spoke about normal stuff, ended with a semi hug, she said my gf was lucky to have a guy like me but said she it was a 'shame' but nice to see there are 'good men' out there still.

The problem here is i have been thinking about her a bit more than I should and I am feeling guilty, even though nothing happened. it's not the first time at all I have been 'chatted up' but normally i brush it off as a nice confidence boost. I think I may have just spoken to her a bit too long, normally if I tell someone i am in a relationship it ends there. I never have, and never would cheat on anyone.

Do I have something to feel guilty about? I don't know.
Click to expand...
Well, you took me right back to twenty years ago. Similar story, but I was already married & a girl that I'd know before I met my future wife was leaving. At her farewell party, she gave me the biggest & longest hug...really noticeable to others. Now, I'd had a genuine soft spot for her but back then, she was in a relationship and you don't "cut another Blokes lunch" as the saying goes...so, it just never happened.

Anyway, that's all it was, nothing else. I told my wife when I got home because I just didn't know what else to do. Didn't want it to get back to her and not have her already know.

That was it. No further repercussions, but like you, I often think about the 'what if' scenario...then I realise where I am now and laugh it off. You've been with your partner for 9 years & are committing to her. You've done the right, and honorable thing. Pat yourself on the back & look forward to your future.
 
BiggyRat said:
Well, you took me right back to twenty years ago. Similar story, but I was already married & a girl that I'd know before I met my future wife was leaving. At her farewell party, she gave me the biggest & longest hug...really noticeable to others. Now, I'd had a genuine soft spot for her but back then, she was in a relationship and you don't "cut another Blokes lunch" as the saying goes...so, it just never happened.

Anyway, that's all it was, nothing else. I told my wife when I got home because I just didn't know what else to do. Didn't want it to get back to her and not have her already know.

That was it. No further repercussions, but like you, I often think about the 'what if' scenario...then I realise where I am now and laugh it off. You've been with your partner for 9 years & are committing to her. You've done the right, and honorable thing. Pat yourself on the back & look forward to your future.
Click to expand...


There's a saying mate - " looking back with rose coloured testicles ! "

All those " could've been, might have been " where that for a reason, they weren't the right one.

I was madly in love with a girl when I was in my early twenties who broke my heart. She now looks like the wrestler - Giant Haystacks, oh what could've been !
 
Bruce Wayne said:
How do you guys overcome the feeling that admitting this is a sign of weakness in some way?
Click to expand...


Having the right people around you to provide support was a big one for me. Also a good General Practioner, who has the ability to make people see that it's an illness just like any other.

On a personal note for me it was a forum. Not intially this one, but an NHS forum - The Mental Health Forum.

Going on there made me realise that that I wasn't alone and the " shared " experience helped me enormously.

Once I'd picked myself up, the support on that forum gave me the strength to be open about it - most people knew, but where too embarrassed to say anything !

It's different for everyone , but I suspect having the right people around you is going to be high up on most people's lists.
 
COYBL25 said:
Having the right people around you to provide support was a big one for me. Also a good General Practioner, who has the ability to make people see that it's an illness just like any other.

On a personal note for me it was a forum. Not intially this one, but an NHS forum - The Mental Health Forum.

Going on there made me realise that that I wasn't alone and the " shared " experience helped me enormously.

Once I'd picked myself up, the support on that forum gave me the strength to be open about it - most people knew, but where too embarrassed to say anything !

It's different for everyone , but I suspect having the right people around you is going to be high up on most people's lists.
Click to expand...

I'd imagine it's easier to do so in a place where you are a relative stranger though?
 

Welcome to GrandOldTeam

Get involved. Registration is simple and free.

Register
Back
Top