Intially I'd say yes, due to the fact that most aren't in the right place mentally to be able to " come out ".
Intially I'd say yes, due to the fact that most aren't in the right place mentally to be able to " come out ".
TheAlmightyFloater
Player Valuation: £30m
@COYBL25 gave a great answer but I'll chime in with my personal experience.
I never really got over the feeling that it's a weakness. I still struggle with it and I think many others do as well, particularly young men.
If you think about it, "man up" and "grow a pair/set [of balls]" are synonymous with toughening up and if you spend your formative years believing that being told the being a man means not admitting weakness, then it's no wonder that we struggle to ask for help.
For me, I had to get help. I was failing uni (still struggling, but at least I'm trying now) and that eventually trumped any feelings of embarrassment/weakness. It was either drop out of uni with over £20 grand in student loans debt or sit for 10 minutes feeling uncomfortable/embarrassed in a GP's office.
It was an obvious choice but still not an easy one.
Some people find it easier to talk to friends/relatives but I don't.
The only people who know about my problems are my doctor, my uni lecturer, a uni counsellor and this forum.
So yeah, some people benefit from talking to people and some people don't.
I would still urge/recommend that everyone talks to their GP if they have problems, but they don't need to tell anyone else if they aren't comfortable with it.
Spot on mate, it's different for everyone.
My dad is still blissfully unaware, as I knew it would be absolutely pointless telling him. He would see it as " being weak minded " and then start referring to " in my day, you just got on with it ".
By dealing with it in a practical manner.
Personally don't see that anyone being susceptible to mental health issues like depression, anxiety, addiction etc is any different than someone being vulnerable to any other illness - it is a result of genetic and envirommental factors a lot of which are out of your initial control.
But regardless of what label you put on it, it doesn't change the fact that those are the emotions you are feeling. Not admitting they are there creates a impediment to improving the situation by finding ways of reducing their severity/frequency/duration and putting in place coping mechanisms whilst they are happening.
Everyone has strengths and weaknesses - be that physcially, emotionally or in their skill set. The weaknesses usually only improve after acknowledgement and work and that applies as much to mental health as it does to physical health, indeed a lot of the things that are good for the latter like regular exercise/good diet are also beneficial for the former.
Other people, even none medical, can be very helpful in that progression - for instance a parent/partner/friend can identify warning signs of a bad patch than you as an individual might be too close to recognise and help you avoid/deal with it. But you can still improve things without a lot of people needing to know if it makes you uncomfortable.
Wish I knew quite how to do that.
Do you suffer with this mate?
It can be very hard, especially if you are in the middle of a bad patch. But that can be where other people can be so helpful, to give you a different perspective outside the maelstrom of emotions or to break up a particularly nasty feedback loop.
kithnou
Player Valuation: £70m
Interesting conversation to read (as I wake up down here). Dealing with the feeling of weakness.
I haven't suffered from depression so can't speak for those that have, but I have, over a period of time in my life, learnt the art of "not giving a Liverpool" what people think.
I think we feel life's inadequacies within ourselves because we actually care too much what people will think or say about us.
The "art of not giving a poo"...
I haven't suffered from depression so can't speak for those that have, but I have, over a period of time in my life, learnt the art of "not giving a Liverpool" what people think.
I think we feel life's inadequacies within ourselves because we actually care too much what people will think or say about us.
The "art of not giving a poo"...
BiggyRat
Player Valuation: £35m
As 'conditioned' human beings, I don't know if you ever really do. We often liken this to any common illness so, if I use a cold as an example, how many times do you have a cold but go to work anyway? At some point, you realise that the cold has beaten you and you take the day off In order to recover. People need to know when they are losing the battle. The only difference here, in this analogy, is that losing to the cold is an inconvenience whereas losing to depression can be fatal.
JAYTALITY
Player Valuation: £30m
I have mentioned this before but a good jog can snap you out of it. The last few days I've been sitting about in a rut not wanting to do anything. I mustard myself up about 11 three and ran over 2 miles. I feel fresh and in pain but dint have the capacity to feel depressed. It's like a spark that sets wheels in motion.
The only thing is the blank page to get over actually making the first step out the door.
The only thing is the blank page to get over actually making the first step out the door.
I have days where I'm totally fine then I have days where I think about jumping in front of cars while I'm out.
I also always feel like something bad is going to happen to me. Some days I don't want to speak to anyone and I find myself thinking if anything is going to change.
Iv tried so many different things and nothing seems to work. Find it really hard speaking to people about it because they don't understand but that's the thing I don't understand why I'm like this.
It gradually got worse where I started to down all the time and I wasn't good enough for my family and always feel like I'm disappointing them as the oldest of three children where the other two have both moved out and ones married with two children. Can't help but feel that people look at me differently because my life's going no where and they have all moved on and achieved much more than me.
I also always feel like something bad is going to happen to me. Some days I don't want to speak to anyone and I find myself thinking if anything is going to change.
Iv tried so many different things and nothing seems to work. Find it really hard speaking to people about it because they don't understand but that's the thing I don't understand why I'm like this.
It gradually got worse where I started to down all the time and I wasn't good enough for my family and always feel like I'm disappointing them as the oldest of three children where the other two have both moved out and ones married with two children. Can't help but feel that people look at me differently because my life's going no where and they have all moved on and achieved much more than me.
kithnou
Player Valuation: £70m
Mate, as mentioned previously in this thread, have you spoken to a professional about it? Maybe start with your gp?
Yes been to see the GP been given antidepressants but stopped taking them months ago made me tired all the time and I put a lot of weight on which made me feel worse.
I have days when I feel fine and like I said others where I really struggle. I guess I was just looking to see if anyone else was in a similar situation.
kithnou
Player Valuation: £70m
Plenty in here that will give you some good advice mate. Hang around, they'll be waking up in a few hours.
I think though it will help to have someone you like and trust to be speaking with. Seems you are feeling alone and you don't need to be.
Would be nice to speak to someone that has been through something similar. I'm on nights so il be going to bed at about half 7 so if anyone thinks they might be able to help il be up about 3 o'clock just so you don't think I'm not ignoring anybody.