Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

[BiggyRat]

Eventually of course, he lost the battle but he lived far longer and continued doing things far longer than any doctor ever estimated. I put that down to his sheer stubbornness and will to defeat a terrible condition. It taught me a huge amount about never giving in and the power of the human mind to overcome obstacles.

My Grandad had a "Dicky Ticker" and was told by the Docs he had a short time left. He got on a ship & came out to Oz to see my Mum in the early '60's... Nice long cruise, a few months in the clear air & sunshine, and he got another 10 years.

Never accept your situation. Never be confined by other peoples expectations.

 

[broughy]

Welcome to the thread mate, you're amongst friends here and feel free to unburden yourself, no matter how trivial you may think your problems may seem.

You mention anti depressants and side effects. My advice is to go back to your GP and explain what's happened. Anti depressants aren't an exact science and you may need to take a few different types before you find the one that's right for you. Your GP will know this and should guide you through the process. You normally need to take them for a few weeks before you know whether they're working or not. Contrary to popular belief, they aren't " happy pills ", what they should do is make you feel normal again. There's no shame in taking them, look upon them as a " tool " to getting better.

You're original post is almost a text book description of depression mate. It's an illness same as any other, just that it's your head that's not well. Have a look,through this thread and you'll see that there's many many people who are / have been in the same boat as you are in right now. You've taken a massive step to getting better by coming on here. Keep posting mate, there's loads on here will help you

Thank you for your reply, I have been reading this thread for sometime and it does help. I know I'm not on my own. Always find it hard talking to mates about it and it's got to a point I don't really have the same kind of friendship as I once did with most of them due to me not wanting to go out and pretend I'm enjoying myself.

Not many people understand or even know I'm struggling because iv got that used to hiding it and that's very common with depression.

 

[COYBL25]

Thank you for your reply, I have been reading this thread for sometime and it does help. I know I'm not on my own. Always find it hard talking to mates about it and it's got to a point I don't really have the same kind of friendship as I once did with most of them due to me not wanting to go out and pretend I'm enjoying myself.

Not many people understand or even know I'm struggling because iv got that used to hiding it and that's very common with depression.

People with depression wear a mask mate - you step out of the door and put your " happy " mask on for the rest of the world.

What'd I'd say about your mates is that if they are true friends they will understand mate. I understand completely how difficult it is to tell people, but hiding away just makes it worse in the long run.

 

[broughy]

People with depression wear a mask mate - you step out of the door and put your " happy " mask on for the rest of the world.

What'd I'd say about your mates is that if they are true friends they will understand mate. I understand completely how difficult it is to tell people, but hiding away just makes it worse in the long run.

I will see if the doctor can help me out on Monday. I feel like I don't want to involve my mates in at all. I think they understand but I just feel awkward around them trying to pretend I'm ok gets quite hard. I this has been going on for about 18 months now. It's strange I can genuinely say I don't know the last time I was actually happy. Something needs to change I know that much.

 

[Reidy's Bottle Of Grecian]

I wonder how many have typed something in this thread & then deleted it without posting.. thus pushing it under the carpet so to speak.

 

[kithnou]

I wonder how many have typed something in this thread & then deleted it without posting.. thus pushing it under the carpet so to speak.

Great comment mate.
It's that first step that is the hardest and seems the highest mountain to climb.
Even post as an anonymous if you feel "embarrassed" with your username.

 

[COYBL25]

I will see if the doctor can help me out on Monday. I feel like I don't want to involve my mates in at all. I think they understand but I just feel awkward around them trying to pretend I'm ok gets quite hard. I this has been going on for about 18 months now. It's strange I can genuinely say I don't know the last time I was actually happy. Something needs to change I know that much.

I have been where you are now mate and although it won't seem like you've done anything to get help yet, you have. The fact that you've start posting on here, shows that you've had enough of feeling low all the time and want to do something about it. I did the same thing with my mates too, even going on stag do's, lads weekends away etc became torturous and the anxiety about going before hand would eat me up. However looking back now, forcing myself out was definitely the right thing to do, given the alternative of locking myself away.

Be honest with the GP, the more you tell them the more they can help. Keep us posted mate. You're not alone on here.

Ps - another good forum is - the NHS run Mental Health Forum.

The online community on there are wonderful and can offer loads of advice too.

 

[kithnou]

I will see if the doctor can help me out on Monday. I feel like I don't want to involve my mates in at all. I think they understand but I just feel awkward around them trying to pretend I'm ok gets quite hard. I this has been going on for about 18 months now. It's strange I can genuinely say I don't know the last time I was actually happy. Something needs to change I know that much.

Good decision mate. Be active in seeking help and a long term solution

 

[Reidy's Bottle Of Grecian]

Great comment mate.
It's that first step that is the hardest and seems the highest mountain to climb.
Even post as an anonymous if you feel "embarrassed" with your username.

I'm an open book mate, I'm not suffering from any kind of depression or anything I dont think, we all have stuff that gets on top of us though & we can all handle so much before its too much to bear, when they all mount up they can break anyone.
My lad was suffering from anxiety & under camhs ... caused us all a lot of worry and still does.
Work ... down the pan.
Relationship ... ditto & kind of how long left.
Obviously the work thing has had a big effect on the relationship, but in truth I see it that it's kind of been 1 of the final straws. In fact I've been a bit picky in my job hunting as I see it that I'm gonna have to be earning enough to be living elsewhere & minimum wage just aint gonna do that, I'd end up living in a pokey hole having lost everything, if i'm gonna have to start all over again then I need to be able to afford to... and also provide for my kids.
Suppose I keep viewing it all as 'feeling sorry for myself' (certainly get told that) and the fact that our season tickets & a wembley trip seem totally out of the question is making me feel worse this week, fact is though there's a realisation of how much things are down the pan on a more recurring basis these days... cos she aint shy of telling me and tbh tells me that I'm neither arsed nor interested.
I dont even tell her when I get job rejections now, partly cos it sets her off & partly I suppose cos I'm starting to view it as none of her business any more, like I say the work situation has been 1 of the final straws but I see it also as something thats given her a reason, cos I think it was beyond repair before then but she didnt want to talk about it. By beyond repair I think it got to that point due to her refusing to address what was wrong ... I'm not blaming btw but I did try to get to the bottom of it all & then got told that stuff has gone too far & there's not really any way back after about 2 years of not wanting to discuss stuff..... & that was a while ago now as well.

 

[kithnou]

I'm an open book mate, I'm not suffering from any kind of depression or anything I dont think, we all have stuff that gets on top of us though & we can all handle so much before its too much to bear, when they all mount up they can break anyone.
My lad was suffering from anxiety & under camhs ... caused us all a lot of worry and still does.
Work ... down the pan.
Relationship ... ditto & kind of how long left.
Obviously the work thing has had a big effect on the relationship, but in truth I see it that it's kind of been 1 of the final straws. In fact I've been a bit picky in my job hunting as I see it that I'm gonna have to be earning enough to be living elsewhere & minimum wage just aint gonna do that, I'd end up living in a pokey hole having lost everything, if i'm gonna have to start all over again then I need to be able to afford to... and also provide for my kids.
Suppose I keep viewing it all as 'feeling sorry for myself' (certainly get told that) and the fact that our season tickets & a wembley trip seem totally out of the question is making me feel worse this week, fact is though there's a realisation of how much things are down the pan on a more recurring basis these days... cos she aint shy of telling me and tbh tells me that I'm neither arsed nor interested.
I dont even tell her when I get job rejections now, partly cos it sets her off & partly I suppose cos I'm starting to view it as none of her business any more, like I say the work situation has been 1 of the final straws but I see it also as something thats given her a reason, cos I think it was beyond repair before then but she didnt want to talk about it.

Hardly one to be a Dr Ruth here, but she could be more understanding and supportive couldn't she?

 

[Reidy's Bottle Of Grecian]

Hardly one to be a Dr Ruth here, but she could be more understanding and supportive couldn't she?

The fact that it was already up the spout mate & she didnt want to discuss it just means that the work situation has made things worse and also given her a reason in her eyes.
The fact that she isn't what you said is what gives me the realisation that theres nowt left, and also what is making me think the way I am regarding finding alternative accommodation, like I say I'll be losing a whole lot ... everything in fact, but the fact that she shows no understanding or support and in fact holds me responsible makes me think that I have now had enough.
Of course I'll be the big bad wolf in all of this.

 

[kithnou]

The fact that it was already up the spout mate & she didnt want to discuss it just means that the work situation has made things worse and also given her a reason in her eyes.
The fact that she isn't what you said is what gives me the realisation that theres nowt left, and also what is making me think the way I am regarding finding alternative accommodation, like I say I'll be losing a whole lot ... everything in fact, but the fact that she shows no understanding or support and in fact holds me responsible makes me think that I have now had enough.
Of course I'll be the big bad wolf in all of this.

You enough going on, and people that are worth keeping show themselves in times of need.
Again, I'm no Dr Ruth here, but she can't be helping with your mindset.

And yes. You are the big bad wolf

 

[Reidy's Bottle Of Grecian]

I do also kind of think "why the hell should I be the 1 to up sticks" as well, I'll end up renting & paying way more than my mortgage whereas she'd get all the help she needed, in fact staying in this house would mean she'd quite possibly be worse off with regards to help.
She's only last year started back working as well ffs (after 16 years, doing 16 hrs on min wage) & you'd think she was the 1 paying the mortgage over the years.

Root of all evil ffs.

 

[Reidy's Bottle Of Grecian]

You enough going on, and people that are worth keeping show themselves in times of need.
Again, I'm no Dr Ruth here, but she can't be helping with your mindset.

And yes. You are the big bad wolf

she'll think so when I cant go the match anymore & I've got 1 on every matchday ... she hates footy btw so has no understanding of being a supporter, doesnt realise how much the kids will hate her for it either.

 

[The Esk]

I do also kind of think "why the hell should I be the 1 to up sticks" as well, I'll end up renting & paying way more than my mortgage whereas she'd get all the help she needed, in fact staying in this house would mean she'd quite possibly be worse off with regards to help.
She's only last year started back working as well ffs & you'd think she was the 1 paying the mortgage over the years.

Root of all evil ffs.

Tough it out mate, you've demonstrated through your contributions on this site that you have many skills, are intelligent and articulate - you will find something if you keep looking.

I'm a great believer in your abilities, keep the fight going, and never give up anything you don't have to give up (family and marital home).