Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

Seathestars said:
I work in Africa, 2 months on, 1 month off, and one morning I woke to find that I'd been burged during the night. I stay in a villa, on my own, and on the kitchen table I found a huge knife that the burglars had left behind.
Luckily I had locked the bedroom door or I dread to think what might have happned, and luckily I never heard a thing.

I didn't go out of the house for something like 6 months, then I was speaking to one of my ex pat friends and he asked why I hadn't been out, he knew about the burglary. It was this guy who told me to speak to someone because It sounded like depression was setting in.

I was fine when I was home with my wife and kids but the thought of going back to Africa and the villa was horrible.

My point is, sometimes you just don't realise that depression is taking a grip and admitting it to yourself is difficult.
There are reasons for it, and it's nothing to be ashamed of.
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Are you okay now mate, as that sounds like text book Post Traumatic Stress to me ?

Constantly thinking about " what if ", nightmares, constant anxiety, not wanting to be in crowds or strange places, etc ?
 

COYBL25 said:
Are you okay now mate, as that sounds like text book Post Traumatic Stress to me ?

Constantly thinking about " what if ", nightmares, constant anxiety, not wanting to be in crowds or strange places, etc ?
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Yes I'm ok, but thanks for asking my friend.
There's lot of ex pats here so we play football twice a week and go out at the weekend and the usuall stuff.
The trouble with me was that I had no idea how much I changed, from being silly and laughing all the time I changed into a recluse.
I also kept telling myself that everything would be ok soon, but it just got worse, to the point were every little noise made me jump.
To be honest I don't think about it much now but I saw this thread and hoped my experience might help someone.
 
I think it's great that this is a pinned topic on the forum, only signed up recently but have kept an eye on GOT frequently. Had a few pretty bad years, cumulating in a diagnosis, and my advice would be to definitely see a doctor or speak to someone about them, as it does help a lot more than you'd expect though admittedly being diagnosed hasn't helped a great deal, but opening up about things has, and it's allowed people to understand things more from personal experience
 
Not really something I've ever spoken about before but most of my problems in life, depression, insomnia, lack of self confidence etc stem from the fact that I had Epilepsy as a child, whether that's a physiological or psychological function or both. I was medicated for about 4 years after which I was discharged from medical care. Since that point I've not had any checkups with a neurologist as it was assumed I'd outgrown it. No one outside of my immediate family is aware that I was ever ill - social stigma etc (n)

I am now pretty sure that it's back some 20 odd years later. I've always had some symptoms as far as I was concerned and its a pretty complex disorder so many things can constitute a seizure, but these last two weekends have made me highly suspicious of more serious activity. I live alone so it's not always easy to tell but there have been enough clues. I am pretty badly stressed at the moment and that can be a trigger.

I'm feeling pretty miserable about it because of the potential implications and the fact that I was able to almost forget that I ever had it. Not been to see a doctor yet, and to be honest I'm not sure I really want to either. Going back on meds and the way they messed with my head isn't something I could go along with.

Sorry, there is problem a fair amount of self pity in there just had to 'think out loud'
 
Abertonian said:
Not really something I've ever spoken about before but most of my problems in life, depression, insomnia, lack of self confidence etc stem from the fact that I had Epilepsy as a child, whether that's a physiological or psychological function or both. I was medicated for about 4 years after which I was discharged from medical care. Since that point I've not had any checkups with a neurologist as it was assumed I'd outgrown it. No one outside of my immediate family is aware that I was ever ill - social stigma etc (n)

I am now pretty sure that it's back some 20 odd years later. I've always had some symptoms as far as I was concerned and its a pretty complex disorder so many things can constitute a seizure, but these last two weekends have made me highly suspicious of more serious activity. I live alone so it's not always easy to tell but there have been enough clues. I am pretty badly stressed at the moment and that can be a trigger.

I'm feeling pretty miserable about it because of the potential implications and the fact that I was able to almost forget that I ever had it. Not been to see a doctor yet, and to be honest I'm not sure I really want to either. Going back on meds and the way they messed with my head isn't something I could go along with.

Sorry, there is problem a fair amount of self pity in there just had to 'think out loud'
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Thats what this thread is for mate,but really go to a doctor first and foremost,there isnt the same social stigma attatched now,Im quite open about it after keeping it bottled up for years
 

Abertonian said:
Not really something I've ever spoken about before but most of my problems in life, depression, insomnia, lack of self confidence etc stem from the fact that I had Epilepsy as a child, whether that's a physiological or psychological function or both. I was medicated for about 4 years after which I was discharged from medical care. Since that point I've not had any checkups with a neurologist as it was assumed I'd outgrown it. No one outside of my immediate family is aware that I was ever ill - social stigma etc (n)

I am now pretty sure that it's back some 20 odd years later. I've always had some symptoms as far as I was concerned and its a pretty complex disorder so many things can constitute a seizure, but these last two weekends have made me highly suspicious of more serious activity. I live alone so it's not always easy to tell but there have been enough clues. I am pretty badly stressed at the moment and that can be a trigger.

I'm feeling pretty miserable about it because of the potential implications and the fact that I was able to almost forget that I ever had it. Not been to see a doctor yet, and to be honest I'm not sure I really want to either. Going back on meds and the way they messed with my head isn't something I could go along with.

Sorry, there is problem a fair amount of self pity in there just had to 'think out loud'
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Hi mate, go and see the doc pronto, if you have a seizure and you're by yourself or driving etc it could end very badly for you and others. ( but you know that already ). My sister in law ( 47 ) has a quite severe form of epilepsy and takes meds daily with little or no side effects. From what she tells me the meds have moved on in leaps and bounds re side effects. She leads a completely normal life in every way, apart from having to go for a DVLA medical every year .

Go to the docs asap mate x
 
@jaycee @COYBL25

Thanks, good advice and I know you are both right.

I was always lucky in that it was always limited to happening at night and although it's been a long time I think my sub conscious has been kicking into over drive because the last couple of weekends I've gone to lie down almost prophetically. Will get in touch with the doc on Monday. Hopefully it's just a temporary thing brought on by stress.

Aside the major episodes I've always had the odd glitch in the matrix during the day. Like staring off into the distance, losing track of what people are saying amongst other things. I'm sure everyone just thinks I'm a bit rude, it might disappoint them to find out otherwise lol
 
Abertonian said:
Not really something I've ever spoken about before but most of my problems in life, depression, insomnia, lack of self confidence etc stem from the fact
that I had Epilepsy as a child, whether that's
a physiological or psychological function or
both. I was medicated for about 4 years

after which I was discharged from medical care. Since that point I've not had any checkups with a neurologist as it was assumed I'd outgrown it. No one outside of my immediate family is aware that I was ever ill - social stigma etc (n)

I am now pretty sure that it's back some 20 odd years later. I've always had some symptoms as far as I was concerned and its a pretty complex disorder so many things can constitute a seizure, but these last two weekends have made me highly suspicious of more serious activity. I live alone so it's not always easy to tell but there have been enough clues. I am pretty badly stressed at the moment and that can be a trigger.

I'm feeling pretty miserable about it because of the potential implications and the fact that I was able to almost forget that I ever had it. Not been to see a doctor yet, and to be honest I'm not sure I really want to either. Going back on meds and the way they messed with my head isn't something I could go along with.

Sorry, there is problem a fair amount of self pity in there just had to 'think out loud'
Click to expand...
Abertonian said:
Not really something I've ever spoken about before but most of my problems in life, depression, insomnia, lack of self confidence etc stem from the fact that I had Epilepsy as a child, whether that's a physiological or psychological function or both. I was medicated for about 4 years after which I was discharged from medical care. Since that point I've not had any checkups with a neurologist as it was assumed I'd outgrown it. No one outside of my immediate family is aware that I was ever ill - social stigma etc (n)

I am now pretty sure that it's back some 20 odd years later. I've always had some symptoms as far as I was concerned and its a pretty complex disorder so many things can constitute a seizure, but these last two weekends have made me highly suspicious of more serious activity. I live alone so it's not always easy to tell but there have been enough clues. I am pretty badly stressed at the moment and that can be a trigger.

I'm feeling pretty miserable about it because of the potential implications and the fact that I was able to almost forget that I ever had it. Not been to see a doctor yet, and to be honest I'm not sure I really want to either. Going back on meds and the way they messed with my head isn't something I could go along with.

Sorry, there is problem a fair amount of self pity in there just had to 'think out loud'
Click to expand...
Mate I'm far from being an expert on these sort of things but firstly let me tell you personally I don't see a stigma attached to epilepsy,as has been spoken recently in this forum we are getting away from being macho stereotypes and look to embrace and understand others problems whether medical or otherwise,I'm sure you can see by others reactions, we are all here to listen and try to help without a thought to being judgemental.My advice in the first instance is to seek that medical diagnosis,you're not a child anymore and it is possible that you may be worrying about something either you don't have or something which may be easier treated than it was years ago due to advances in medicine,keep us posted,a problem shared and all that,good luck.
 
Abertonian said:
@jaycee @COYBL25

Thanks, good advice and I know you are both right.

I was always lucky in that it was always limited to happening at night and although it's been a long time I think my sub conscious has been kicking into over drive because the last couple of weekends I've gone to lie down almost prophetically. Will get in touch with the doc on Monday. Hopefully it's just a temporary thing brought on by stress.

Aside the major episodes I've always had the odd glitch in the matrix during the day. Like staring off into the distance, losing track of what people are saying amongst other things. I'm sure everyone just thinks I'm a bit rude, it might disappoint them to find out otherwise lol
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You know Vincent Van Gogh, the artist, if he had been around today he would have been diagnosed with epilepsy.
Unfortunately for him, in those days they didn't know about it and the rest is history.
What I'm trying to say is count yourself lucky that you are around now with all these advances in modern medicine.
Get yourself to the docs and at least have a chat to him, I'm not an expert either but what you appear to have is not self inflicted, it's just an illnes like someone having the flu, or a cold or measles or a chest infection.
No one feels pressure when they have the flu, so why should you because you have an illness that was none of your making.
Take it easy my friend and all the best.
 
Tony Greig was Epileptic as well. I only mention it because it was known & that was it. No stigma at all.

I don't wish to speak ill of your family, but perhaps your parents misunderstood the 'stigma' aspect & have left you with a false sense of society's attitude? I've never heard Epilepsy mentioned in hushed tones or with a raised eyebrow.

Now, if you said you had Kop disease, well....that's a different story! :p
 

Cheers guys, to be clear though I'm not worried about whether there is a social stigma or not in today's world. I'm sure there is not and I'd guess a lot of that has to be due to the availability of information through the Internet/social media. I was first diagnosed as a 9 year old in the late 80s. At least where I live things were very different then, although in fairness a lot of the reasons why I never discussed with people was just being a kid who didn't want to be singled out for not being the same as everyone else. My folks to their credit didn't do much wrong that I can remember except getting divorced a few years later but that's a different story.

Today I'm more worried about the immediate impact on my life if it has returned, such as having my driving license revoked, not being able to work offshore etc. I'm hoping that the stress I'm under is distorting my perception and none of those things will come to pass.

Another thought, is that I have kicked smoking after 20 years and stopped taking champix for it at the end of April. Maybe my temporal lobe is just firing a heap of neurons in celebration much like Cowboys shoot their guns into the air in a western - just kidding obviously but quitting smoking / champix might really have an impact. Champix apparently lowers the seizure threshold.

image.webp


What shouldn't be forgotten though is that even in today's more progressive world, it's a lot easier to discuss something here with strangers than sit down with people you know, even lifelong friends, and tell them stuff they don't know about you. I'm grateful for this thread for that reason as I'm sure so many others are. Plus if it's taught me anything, it's that people have to face far worse situations than I hope I ever have to - puts things into perspective.
 
Abertonian said:
Cheers guys, to be clear though I'm not worried about whether there is a social stigma or not in today's world. I'm sure there is not and I'd guess a lot of that has to be due to the availability of information through the Internet/social media. I was first diagnosed as a 9 year old in the late 80s. At least where I live things were very different then, although in fairness a lot of the reasons why I never discussed with people was just being a kid who didn't want to be singled out for not being the same as everyone else. My folks to their credit didn't do much wrong that I can remember except getting divorced a few years later but that's a different story.

Today I'm more worried about the immediate impact on my life if it has returned, such as having my driving license revoked, not being able to work offshore etc. I'm hoping that the stress I'm under is distorting my perception and none of those things will come to pass.

Another thought, is that I have kicked smoking after 20 years and stopped taking champix for it at the end of April. Maybe my temporal lobe is just firing a heap of neurons in celebration much like Cowboys shoot their guns into the air in a western - just kidding obviously but quitting smoking / champix might really have an impact. Champix apparently lowers the seizure threshold.

View attachment 23901

What shouldn't be forgotten though is that even in today's more progressive world, it's a lot easier to discuss something here with strangers than sit down with people you know, even lifelong friends, and tell them stuff they don't know about you. I'm grateful for this thread for that reason as I'm sure so many others are. Plus if it's taught me anything, it's that people have to face far worse situations than I hope I ever have to - puts things into perspective.
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I completely understand. when I was a kid I lost most of my hearing to meningitis and had to wear 2 hearing aids. it made me withdrawn and shy and stayed with me all my life afraid to communicate with people.
 

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