Spiraling again everyone, could use some helpful chat.
wbn61
Player Valuation: £8m
here if you need me.
Durham Toffee
Shameless Wool
Right here, bud. How's things?
BiggyRat
Player Valuation: £35m
Talk us through it mate, what's got you on the downward again? Sometimes, even just typing it out helps...
Abraders
Player Valuation: £60m
Does anybody here have an awfully hard time saying the simple word 'no'?
Only come to realise recently I simply can't say it. Whilst I probably wouldn't be letting anybody down, my mind can scream 'no no no no' and i'll just say yes.
This morning I've said 'yes' to a job I simply do not want, an opportunity presented by my brother to help his friend opening a bar. I'm ecstatic to help him renovate the building, help get the painting done and everything this week prior to its opening for a bit of cash - but then I said yes to working for him as it opens.
It's good money and he's a great guy to work for i'm sure, but it's been about 2 hours since I've said yes, and all I feel is sick. To the point where i'd probably just lye on my bed and avoid life until said bar work.
Having worked in kitchens and bar work in the past, the moment I finally escaped and went back to doing what I loved in Uni I felt a huge weight lifted and vowed never to return to an area which saps so much of my mental energy from me, whether it be in or out of work. Yet here I am again in a situation I didn't ask for, but wasn't able to turn down.
What is wrong with me?
Only come to realise recently I simply can't say it. Whilst I probably wouldn't be letting anybody down, my mind can scream 'no no no no' and i'll just say yes.
This morning I've said 'yes' to a job I simply do not want, an opportunity presented by my brother to help his friend opening a bar. I'm ecstatic to help him renovate the building, help get the painting done and everything this week prior to its opening for a bit of cash - but then I said yes to working for him as it opens.
It's good money and he's a great guy to work for i'm sure, but it's been about 2 hours since I've said yes, and all I feel is sick. To the point where i'd probably just lye on my bed and avoid life until said bar work.
Having worked in kitchens and bar work in the past, the moment I finally escaped and went back to doing what I loved in Uni I felt a huge weight lifted and vowed never to return to an area which saps so much of my mental energy from me, whether it be in or out of work. Yet here I am again in a situation I didn't ask for, but wasn't able to turn down.
What is wrong with me?
wbn61
Player Valuation: £8m
I had that for a long time, I felt it was a matter of not letting people down, doing the right thing, being the nice guy or they won't like you much. I think in my case it was insecurity, are you normally a confident person?
BiggyRat
Player Valuation: £35m
Nothing is wrong with you. You just sound like the kind of person that is willing to put out to help someone. That is an admirable quality in a human so don't ever lose it.
Having said that, I feel you just need the strength to fully weigh up a request like that before committing to it. Some strategies for that could be as simple as saying "Look, I really need to check out a few things I had lined up for that week before I can commit to helping..." and that can give you some time & space to prepare an answer. Another is to simply state what you've already posted, you're done with Pubs & really need to concentrate on Uni.
Perhaps, even, take your Brother aside & explain exactly how you feel about being put on the spot like that. Of course, that depends on your relationship but you were willing to put in & help paint, that's surely enough of a helping hand.
Abraders
Player Valuation: £60m
Confident person, absolutely not. Though i've very recently become confident in my artistic abilities...
Edit: which might I add i have been pursuing in my own time to a much larger degree recently -
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Abraders
Player Valuation: £60m
My brother certainly wouldn't be offended if I were to turn it down, I feel more trapped now though that i've said yes and believe i'm going to be letting him and his friend down after saying yes. But in hindsight that is absolutely what I should have done... gone over it for a day or something before cementing the position.
The thing is I can say now that i'll open up and reject the position after helping them paint and get ready for the opening, but I know me, and on the spot tomorrow i'm going to help out and then say nothing out of some sort of fear despite really wanting to :/
Thanks for all the helpful replies everyone. Feel a bit better today but last night was really grim.
The new job is daunting me a lot and it's suddenly hit me like a tonne of bricks that I've lost a lot of time I'd like to spend doing other things. The job involves early morning starts every Saturday and Sunday and last night it dawned on me I won't be able to go out with the lads for a while. They all went out last night but I couldn't go because I knew I had work at 7am the next morning. They were all getting ready and trying to talk me round but I wouldn't let myself get dragged along because I knew I'd get rat-arsed and not be fit for work in the morning which is something that I can't let happen. It just put me on a downer, at 10pm I was getting bed whilst they were all pre-drinking and talking about what a great time they were going to have. Stuff like this will happen more and more as time goes on. Part of life I know but it just hit me like a punch in a stomach, really got me down for some reason.
Better news is today I feeling okay and not as downbeat. The weather's nice and work itself today went fine. Hopefully I'll adjust and find other ways to spend time with my mates, one thing I absolute don't want to happen is for me to become one of these folk whose life revolves around their work, like they literally do nothing else with their time and think of nothing else.
The new job is daunting me a lot and it's suddenly hit me like a tonne of bricks that I've lost a lot of time I'd like to spend doing other things. The job involves early morning starts every Saturday and Sunday and last night it dawned on me I won't be able to go out with the lads for a while. They all went out last night but I couldn't go because I knew I had work at 7am the next morning. They were all getting ready and trying to talk me round but I wouldn't let myself get dragged along because I knew I'd get rat-arsed and not be fit for work in the morning which is something that I can't let happen. It just put me on a downer, at 10pm I was getting bed whilst they were all pre-drinking and talking about what a great time they were going to have. Stuff like this will happen more and more as time goes on. Part of life I know but it just hit me like a punch in a stomach, really got me down for some reason.
Better news is today I feeling okay and not as downbeat. The weather's nice and work itself today went fine. Hopefully I'll adjust and find other ways to spend time with my mates, one thing I absolute don't want to happen is for me to become one of these folk whose life revolves around their work, like they literally do nothing else with their time and think of nothing else.
wbn61
Player Valuation: £8m
Glad you're feeling better today, new jobs are quite stressful and juggling between work and leisure does take time until you are settled?
I am so lucky I don't work so its leisure all the way for me
l4toffee
Player Valuation: £40m
mate take some advice . I done the opposite to you . Chose my social life over everything else when I was in my 20's . Didn't take life serious and it back fired badly later on and it all but me on the arse . Once a night out has gone and they've all got hang overs and your getting up fresh and earning dough you should look at it that way.
D
Deleted member 28206
Guest
Been through the mill the past week. Feeling dreadful. Moved out the family home and now literally alone.
D
Deleted member 28206
Guest
PM is always open mate
wbn61
Player Valuation: £8m
always here for pm if you prefer cha,t if not unload here we are good listeners