Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

So a couple of weeks have passed since I moved out. My daughter is staying a few nights a week and despite feeling like a complete failure and cut off from everyone. I'm feeling notably better - the silence when she isn't here is absolutely crushing and the overwhelming doubting starts to creep in.

I've booked an exam to take and I'll start swimming the nights I don't have her just to ensure I don't wallow in pity and begin questioning my existence - which has always haunted me.

I've a trip stateside coming up, and a new car coming soon. All positive things to those who are impressed by material items but in reality just add to the noise of a really painful existence

Just hope I come out the other side
 

Bryan said:
So a couple of weeks have passed since I moved out. My daughter is staying a few nights a week and despite feeling like a complete failure and cut off from everyone. I'm feeling notably better - the silence when she isn't here is absolutely crushing and the overwhelming doubting starts to creep in.

I've booked an exam to take and I'll start swimming the nights I don't have her just to ensure I don't wallow in pity and begin questioning my existence - which has always haunted me.

I've a trip stateside coming up, and a new car coming soon. All positive things to those who are impressed by material items but in reality just add to the noise of a really painful existence

Just hope I come out the other side
Click to expand...
You are doing great being occupied when she isn't there which is a great thing.
Try adding some light exercise or going for a walk regularly if you can?
 
Bryan said:
So a couple of weeks have passed since I moved out. My daughter is staying a few nights a week and despite feeling like a complete failure and cut off from everyone. I'm feeling notably better - the silence when she isn't here is absolutely crushing and the overwhelming doubting starts to creep in.

I've booked an exam to take and I'll start swimming the nights I don't have her just to ensure I don't wallow in pity and begin questioning my existence - which has always haunted me.

I've a trip stateside coming up, and a new car coming soon. All positive things to those who are impressed by material items but in reality just add to the noise of a really painful existence

Just hope I come out the other side
Click to expand...
You'll come through it.

Accept the fact you will have bad times (who doesn't?), and enjoy the moments with your daughter.
 
Bryan said:
So a couple of weeks have passed since I moved out. My daughter is staying a few nights a week and despite feeling like a complete failure and cut off from everyone. I'm feeling notably better - the silence when she isn't here is absolutely crushing and the overwhelming doubting starts to creep in.

I've booked an exam to take and I'll start swimming the nights I don't have her just to ensure I don't wallow in pity and begin questioning my existence - which has always haunted me.

I've a trip stateside coming up, and a new car coming soon. All positive things to those who are impressed by material items but in reality just add to the noise of a really painful existence

Just hope I come out the other side
Click to expand...


Having been on my arse mate, I honestly didn't think things would ever get better, but they do. It happens really slowly, so slowly that you don't actually realise at the time it's happening. It's little things like sleeping half an hour longer, realising that you haven't thought about the bad stuff for thirty mins or more, you start to enjoy things again, you're appetite coming back, loads of little tiny things. It'll take time and part of you will probably never be the same, but you'll come through it given time.
 

Bryan said:
So a couple of weeks have passed since I moved out. My daughter is staying a few nights a week and despite feeling like a complete failure and cut off from everyone. I'm feeling notably better - the silence when she isn't here is absolutely crushing and the overwhelming doubting starts to creep in.

I've booked an exam to take and I'll start swimming the nights I don't have her just to ensure I don't wallow in pity and begin questioning my existence - which has always haunted me.

I've a trip stateside coming up, and a new car coming soon. All positive things to those who are impressed by material items but in reality just add to the noise of a really painful existence

Just hope I come out the other side
Click to expand...
how old is your daughter? sorry if you 've already mentioned.
 

COYBL25 said:
realising that you haven't thought about the bad stuff for thirty mins or more
Click to expand...
This... It happens slowly, without you noticing.


Bryan said:
So a couple of weeks have passed since I moved out. My daughter is staying a few nights a week and despite feeling like a complete failure and cut off from everyone. I'm feeling notably better - the silence when she isn't here is absolutely crushing and the overwhelming doubting starts to creep in.

I've booked an exam to take and I'll start swimming the nights I don't have her just to ensure I don't wallow in pity and begin questioning my existence - which has always haunted me.

I've a trip stateside coming up, and a new car coming soon. All positive things to those who are impressed by material items but in reality just add to the noise of a really painful existence

Just hope I come out the other side
Click to expand...

I've only just noticed this thread a few minutes ago after jumping on the forum on the hunt for Mourinho, and getting hooked on the new manager thread a few weeks ago.

I quietly suffer from depression on and off myself. In my twenties, I had Cancer, and declared bankruptcy. I'm 31 now and am healthy, have a decent job (run a sofa shop in Aintree if any blues are looking for a couch, lol) and decent prospects but when I feel an episode coming on, none of this matters. That's what I have started to realize people don't understand about it. If I'm in a bad place, it usually lasts a few days before I can shake it. I'm irritable, moody and usually have a really low patience threshold meaning my family get the brunt of my negativity. During the lowest point of that phase (this is around the time you begin unwillingly questioning your existence, or the importance of it to others), things that normally make me smile such as my wife to be, and my son, have no effect. His name is just another word like it's been disassociated from my life. It's kind of hard to explain. But the best coping method I've found is to just take your mind off literally everything, like @Bryan said ( haven't read the previous posts yet as I'm just jumping in here so I'm not familiar with your situation regarding moving out etc; I'm just picking up on the swimming comment. I apologize if anything I say sounds ignorant). I normally go running, boxing or get working on a few of my inventions etc. After a while you think 'I haven't thought of the bad stuff for 15 mins!', then it'll be 25, then an hour then a day until it's gone. Idleness is the enemy.
 
Chipshill said:
This... It happens slowly, without you noticing.




I've only just noticed this thread a few minutes ago after jumping on the forum on the hunt for Mourinho, and getting hooked on the new manager thread a few weeks ago.

I quietly suffer from depression on and off myself. In my twenties, I had Cancer, and declared bankruptcy. I'm 31 now and am healthy, have a decent job (run a sofa shop in Aintree if any blues are looking for a couch, lol) and decent prospects but when I feel an episode coming on, none of this matters. That's what I have started to realize people don't understand about it. If I'm in a bad place, it usually lasts a few days before I can shake it. I'm irritable, moody and usually have a really low patience threshold meaning my family get the brunt of my negativity. During the lowest point of that phase (this is around the time you begin unwillingly questioning your existence, or the importance of it to others), things that normally make me smile such as my wife to be, and my son, have no effect. His name is just another word like it's been disassociated from my life. It's kind of hard to explain. But the best coping method I've found is to just take your mind off literally everything, like @Bryan said ( haven't read the previous posts yet as I'm just jumping in here so I'm not familiar with your situation regarding moving out etc; I'm just picking up on the swimming comment. I apologize if anything I say sounds ignorant). I normally go running, boxing or get working on a few of my inventions etc. After a while you think 'I haven't thought of the bad stuff for 15 mins!', then it'll be 25, then an hour then a day until it's gone. Idleness is the enemy.
Click to expand...
Welcome. hope you continue to browse this thread, I think it would be worthwhile for you.
 
Have you ever gotten your wife what you thought was a nice birthday present but she was disappointed? That's what happened today. Spent a lot of money on concert tickets for her favorite songwriter, but she said that she was disappointed because the show is in a different city and I didn't work out the logistics about how to get there. I feel like a failure. My depression has really got a hold of me now. The sad thing is I bought the tickets knowing this may happen, but thought she might like them given that she has always wanted to see him in concert. What's the bloody point? Maybe she deserves someone better.
 
Chipshill said:
This... It happens slowly, without you noticing.




I've only just noticed this thread a few minutes ago after jumping on the forum on the hunt for Mourinho, and getting hooked on the new manager thread a few weeks ago.

I quietly suffer from depression on and off myself. In my twenties, I had Cancer, and declared bankruptcy. I'm 31 now and am healthy, have a decent job (run a sofa shop in Aintree if any blues are looking for a couch, lol) and decent prospects but when I feel an episode coming on, none of this matters. That's what I have started to realize people don't understand about it. If I'm in a bad place, it usually lasts a few days before I can shake it. I'm irritable, moody and usually have a really low patience threshold meaning my family get the brunt of my negativity. During the lowest point of that phase (this is around the time you begin unwillingly questioning your existence, or the importance of it to others), things that normally make me smile such as my wife to be, and my son, have no effect. His name is just another word like it's been disassociated from my life. It's kind of hard to explain. But the best coping method I've found is to just take your mind off literally everything, like @Bryan said ( haven't read the previous posts yet as I'm just jumping in here so I'm not familiar with your situation regarding moving out etc; I'm just picking up on the swimming comment. I apologize if anything I say sounds ignorant). I normally go running, boxing or get working on a few of my inventions etc. After a while you think 'I haven't thought of the bad stuff for 15 mins!', then it'll be 25, then an hour then a day until it's gone. Idleness is the enemy.
Click to expand...

Inspiring post that mate, i see a lot of my feelings in that. Please do continue to post!
 

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