Cheers mate. From my own experiences, being able to hopefully help others also helps me too - if that makes sense !
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Cheers mate. From my own experiences, being able to hopefully help others also helps me too - if that makes sense !
Chipshill
Player Valuation: £750k
Yeah I get that. I just think, if I had someone 10 years ago to tell me the stuff I'm telling others now, it would have helped the mental part of it all. Maybe only slightly, but nothing should be discounted in times like these.
On a relatively related note, I'm getting my third tattoo in 3 weeks time as a constant reminder of the words I live by these days...
'Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain'
Titus Bramble
Best centre half to grace the Premier League
Evening guys and girls.
Some of you might remember a few months ago I posted my long term gf had been accepted into the Peace Corps. Well, she's gone. She's been in Liberia for 2 weeks of a 2 year placement. I got a very unexpected phone call off her today which was a nice surprise, although she spent the first 10 mins sobbing down the phone which was difficult to listen to. She's finding it difficult as you'd imagine but if she sticks out the first month or so then she'll be away, which I told her.
Feeling a bit numb about it all tbh. 2 years is a long time and I'm sure I'm going to have darker days than I'm having right now, just have to look forward to her first bi-anual trip back home which will probably be around Christmas time.
I must say though, having read through this thread I'm hugely fortunate to be able to say I have a job, a loving (if now very long distant) relationship and, most importantly, my health. You're all a credit to yourselves and this website, some of you are going through things I can't begin to imagine so I feel a bit tightarse posting my issue. Keep fighting your own fights,good times are around the corner.
Some of you might remember a few months ago I posted my long term gf had been accepted into the Peace Corps. Well, she's gone. She's been in Liberia for 2 weeks of a 2 year placement. I got a very unexpected phone call off her today which was a nice surprise, although she spent the first 10 mins sobbing down the phone which was difficult to listen to. She's finding it difficult as you'd imagine but if she sticks out the first month or so then she'll be away, which I told her.
Feeling a bit numb about it all tbh. 2 years is a long time and I'm sure I'm going to have darker days than I'm having right now, just have to look forward to her first bi-anual trip back home which will probably be around Christmas time.
I must say though, having read through this thread I'm hugely fortunate to be able to say I have a job, a loving (if now very long distant) relationship and, most importantly, my health. You're all a credit to yourselves and this website, some of you are going through things I can't begin to imagine so I feel a bit tightarse posting my issue. Keep fighting your own fights,good times are around the corner.
D
Deleted member 28206
Guest
Everyone has a fight.
wbn61
Player Valuation: £8m
first off glad to hear your cancer free, I just wanted to know how long it took your body to recover from the chemo and radiotherapy, liked the jokes about the pregnant women and the sandwich throwing lol shows we can still have humour in our bad times.Sorry, I hadn't noticed you asked. I haven't gone through this whole thread, I just jumped on a week ago and float in and out. Haven't done that 'introduce yourself' thread either.
I'm all clear now anyway mate, I had it roughly 10-11 years ago now when I was 19/20 in the fire brigade. I can still answer questions for you though, I don't mind. I was only a firefighter for a few months, I managed to get into the service down in Derbyshire and moved down there for the job. I had a random checkup with occupational health one day and he had a feel of my throat as they do and said, 'what's that?'. I had a lump in my throat which had been there for years. I got stung by a wasp below my Adam's apple as a child (it was in a balaclava), and I had always assumed the lump had been an after effect from that meaning I never got it checked. He booked me in for an immediate biopsy which give us the big C answer.
That was followed by me having to leave the service to have 2 operations and a round of therapy back in the Royal so I could be looked after by family. I've pretty much involuntarily blocked out the two years that followed from my memory but I remember missing Christmas because I was radio active and I had pregnant family members so that was a no-no. And I remember being in the hospital during the radio treatment because my family had to wear full on white containment suits to come in the same room as me. The nurse would only come as far as the door and physically THROW a sandwich to me like a pet they kept in the attic.
I also remember the day I stopped donating to Marie curie and vowed to never buy another Renault. As I wasn't working, and hadn't been with the fire station long enough for them to be paying me, and my girlfriend of 2 years had to look after me, we had incredibly low income. I had bought a brand new Clio to get us to and from Derbyshire in a bit more comfort than my 1.1L body kitted Saxo (yes, full kit, bright yellow, silly exhaust, blue neons underneath. Feel free to laugh, it was the fast and the furious era ), yet when I called them to explain the situation, pleading for them to take the 2 month from showroom car back and pausing payments until I was out of hospital, they didn't even consider it. We were looking in trouser pockets for a few coins to buy a loaf or milk. We asked for help from them, expecting compliance, yet they turned me away instantly due to the cancer not being 'currently life threatening'.
We went to the CAB and the result was me declaring bankruptcy. That was the biggest effect on my life from the whole illness. It took until just over a year ago to get back straight and buy a house, but you deal the cards you're dealt. Unfortunately, because the car was in my name, I had the majority of the debt. My girlfriend, who after two years of being together had also taken out a loan/credit card or two to get us by, didn't have as much debt as me, not enough for bankruptcy to be an option, is still struggling to get credit. She can't even get a phone because after a year or so, they just sell the debt on to someone else so it shows up again and again, even though it's coming down slowly. Also, for those interested, she has obviously been my rock from the start. We are still together and are currently finalizing a few tiny bits for our wedding in October
And back to the original point of me posting on this thread. Yes I've been through a lot, and yes I'm better off and healthier than I've ever been. I'm fit, regularly boxing (as you can see from my avatar), have a nice car and a nice house, both in my opinion. But when I have bad days, none of this means anything. The fact that I have these, mostly superficial things, are things that one should be happy and grateful to have, is lost on me. If someone says they are depressed, the second person gives them a cheque for £1M, and they suddenly feel better. That's not depression, that's someone worried about money. It's not a choice.
I've completely lost my train of thought here, and I sincerely apologies for the lack of formatting above. I planned on writing a paragraph at most, but got carried away as usual. I'm too tired to go back and fix it now
Any other questions, feel free to ask. It's not a sore subject for me anymore.
Chipshill
Player Valuation: £750k
Haha yeah, they do actually sound like jokes, I'll give you that.
Body wise, I dropped down to about 7 stone so recovery took maybe a year or so to put the weight back on. Another year or more to put some muscle back on. Took probably 3 years of ever changing medication for my hormones to settle down and level out so I felt normal again. Before that, I'd have the stamina of a 30 stone 90 year old with asthma.
Ashtonian
Banned on request
It is only natural to have negative feelings in that regard. you obviously both love each other so from her perspective she will be made up to hear you on the other end of the phone supporting her, gives her that to look forward to coming back to. Perhaps if it was ever an option book a flight over there later on in the year and surprise her that way?
Think that is the most positive way you can look at it. As much as it might be bad for yourself, it will be worse for her having to do what she is doing over there without you by her side. Just be the support she needs and before you know it she will be home. Gives you time to give the house a hoover before she gets back haha
An illustration of how many people, especially young ones, are lost to depression and anxiety.
Hopefully threads like these provide both help to those effected and awareness to those who aren't so people feel more willing to open up.
Hopefully threads like these provide both help to those effected and awareness to those who aren't so people feel more willing to open up.
Titus Bramble
Best centre half to grace the Premier League
Cheers mate, that's my thinking as well. I have looked into going out but the sheer cost makes it very difficult, looking at £800+ just for flights which I can't afford. Some way down the line we've agreed to look at meeting half way in Morocco or something... Much more affordable. And in regards to having the place to myself... *lounges on sofa in boxers, scratches balls*
It's true about idleness being the issue, at work and when seeing friends I'm fine... It's when you're alone in the flat doing nothing when it gets to you
Minimeister
Player Valuation: £35m
Always get quite sad watching Ricky Hatton talking about his depression. Reminds me of Gazza a bit, loved what he did and seemed to struggle when not on top of his game, as well as having personal issues. Likeable chap, hope things work out for him.
Yes mate Ricky is a decent down to earth lad who, like Gazza found it hard to accept the fact he was past his best and basically forced to retire rather than be humiliated in the ring.
Transferring that to more common instances,as my retirement approaches I am more aware to how others react as they retire. I have noticed more and more how good colleagues are upset as retirement approaches and I know it will be no different for myself.
I really dislike my work these days as more pressure is piled upon you to produce the goods but it is the people I am going to miss and the day to day camaraderie, we have a large close knit, sociable crowd and I will miss the patter and humour of it all.
His lads are doing him proud, as are all of us here just by talking.