Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

[DanEFC92]

Yeah. Nothing from my new GP. Back on the 30th, big couple of months this for me this

Have you had a phone interview with the counsellors or any contact from them at all?

 

[JimmyJeffers]

Nearly 12 months later, still had no contact re: councilling.

I've posted this a few times in this thread I think but anyways... If you can afford £40 odd a week try going private. Some councillors do a first session free etc. You can wait months on the NHS but can get an appointment within days this way plus easier to get weekend and evening appointments. Maybe do a couple if money is really tight and see how you find it.
Use this link with your postcode. See who you think best fits. This goes for anyone desperate for counselling. I'm doing it this way and I'm not loaded, but it's worth it long term.
http://www.counselling-directory.org.uk/

 

[Deleted member 28206]

Have you had a phone interview with the counsellors or any contact from them at all?

Yes. They called me in March last year and went over my problems and said the waiting list is about 6 months.

 

[Deleted member 28206]

I've posted this a few times in this thread I think but anyways... If you can afford £40 odd a week try going private. Some councillors do a first session free etc. You can wait months on the NHS but can get an appointment within days this way plus easier to get weekend and evening appointments. Maybe do a couple if money is really tight and see how you find it.
Use this link with your postcode. See who you think best fits. This goes for anyone desperate for counselling. I'm doing it this way and I'm not loaded, but it's worth it long term.
http://www.counselling-directory.org.uk/

Thank you mate. Never knew I could do that. There is quite a fit one there too.

 

[JimmyJeffers]

Yes. They called me in March last year and went over my problems and said the waiting list is about 6 months.

That's an absolute disgrace. Unreal

 

[JimmyJeffers]

Thank you mate. Never knew I could do that. There is quite a fit one there too.

Hey it's just like tinder.

 

[DanEFC92]

Yes. They called me in March last year and went over my problems and said the waiting list is about 6 months.

For anxiety/depression and the process of actually getting counselling causes both.

 

[barmcake]

Hi, anyone any experience with their child being depressed? As a family we have been really struggling over the last few months. My son who's 11 is going through a torrid time since starting high school. He's incredibly low, has developed anger management issues and is on the verge of exploding at all times. We walk on eggshells all day trying to find a balance between not creating an incident but also not allowing any bad behaviour. Despite this, this slightest thing can set him off. When this happens he starts biting things (says this stops him from getting angry) then screaming, hitting/kicking things I.e. Wall, chairs, doors etc. Then he starts on character assassinations of all around him and says really cruel things about me, his mum, brother. On three occasions he's become physical and hit me. Twice I've had to physically take him to the floor and restrain him. He'll say some pretty horrid things like I hope you die etc. He has also spoke a lot about not wanting to be here and killing himself. On two occasions he has sort of acted on this by saying things like "find me a small object, I'm going to choke myself". As a result we've had a few appointments with CAMHS and we are waiting on some more appointments. We are also in regular contact with his school.

I feel lost. I can't relate to these thoughts/feelings as I've never experienced any format of depression. He just tells me there is no point going to CAMHS or seeing anyone at school as nobody can help him. My worry is that he's developing this "don't care" attitude so thinks it's OK to misbehave as he'll just kick off. His younger brother is witness to a lot of this and no even he is starting to play up a little i.e. Copying some of the things his brother has been doing. He also doesn't want to do anything anymore. Since the age of 5 he's done karate and in the last 18 months he's competed. He's a junior black belt and is very good, is respected at his club and knows lots of people. He used to train a few times a week but I'm the past three months he's barely been. Right now it's not that I important but I think not exercising and getting out of the house isn't healthy and the longer he leaves it the harder it is to return.

Sorry for rambling.....hope it makes sense.

Barm.

 

[granter79]

Hi, anyone any experience with their child being depressed? As a family we have been really struggling over the last few months. My son who's 11 is going through a torrid time since starting high school. He's incredibly low, has developed anger management issues and is on the verge of exploding at all times. We walk on eggshells all day trying to find a balance between not creating an incident but also not allowing any bad behaviour. Despite this, this slightest thing can set him off. When this happens he starts biting things (says this stops him from getting angry) then screaming, hitting/kicking things I.e. Wall, chairs, doors etc. Then he starts on character assassinations of all around him and says really cruel things about me, his mum, brother. On three occasions he's become physical and hit me. Twice I've had to physically take him to the floor and restrain him. He'll say some pretty horrid things like I hope you die etc. He has also spoke a lot about not wanting to be here and killing himself. On two occasions he has sort of acted on this by saying things like "find me a small object, I'm going to choke myself". As a result we've had a few appointments with CAMHS and we are waiting on some more appointments. We are also in regular contact with his school.

I feel lost. I can't relate to these thoughts/feelings as I've never experienced any format of depression. He just tells me there is no point going to CAMHS or seeing anyone at school as nobody can help him. My worry is that he's developing this "don't care" attitude so thinks it's OK to misbehave as he'll just kick off. His younger brother is witness to a lot of this and no even he is starting to play up a little i.e. Copying some of the things his brother has been doing. He also doesn't want to do anything anymore. Since the age of 5 he's done karate and in the last 18 months he's competed. He's a junior black belt and is very good, is respected at his club and knows lots of people. He used to train a few times a week but I'm the past three months he's barely been. Right now it's not that I important but I think not exercising and getting out of the house isn't healthy and the longer he leaves it the harder it is to return.

Sorry for rambling.....hope it makes sense.

Barm.

Never apologise on here mate. Very hard situation so I won't even try give advice but some great people on here and I'm sure one or 2 will point you in the right direction.

 

[EFCPaul]

Hi, anyone any experience with their child being depressed? As a family we have been really struggling over the last few months. My son who's 11 is going through a torrid time since starting high school. He's incredibly low, has developed anger management issues and is on the verge of exploding at all times. We walk on eggshells all day trying to find a balance between not creating an incident but also not allowing any bad behaviour. Despite this, this slightest thing can set him off. When this happens he starts biting things (says this stops him from getting angry) then screaming, hitting/kicking things I.e. Wall, chairs, doors etc. Then he starts on character assassinations of all around him and says really cruel things about me, his mum, brother. On three occasions he's become physical and hit me. Twice I've had to physically take him to the floor and restrain him. He'll say some pretty horrid things like I hope you die etc. He has also spoke a lot about not wanting to be here and killing himself. On two occasions he has sort of acted on this by saying things like "find me a small object, I'm going to choke myself". As a result we've had a few appointments with CAMHS and we are waiting on some more appointments. We are also in regular contact with his school.

I feel lost. I can't relate to these thoughts/feelings as I've never experienced any format of depression. He just tells me there is no point going to CAMHS or seeing anyone at school as nobody can help him. My worry is that he's developing this "don't care" attitude so thinks it's OK to misbehave as he'll just kick off. His younger brother is witness to a lot of this and no even he is starting to play up a little i.e. Copying some of the things his brother has been doing. He also doesn't want to do anything anymore. Since the age of 5 he's done karate and in the last 18 months he's competed. He's a junior black belt and is very good, is respected at his club and knows lots of people. He used to train a few times a week but I'm the past three months he's barely been. Right now it's not that I important but I think not exercising and getting out of the house isn't healthy and the longer he leaves it the harder it is to return.

Sorry for rambling.....hope it makes sense.

Barm.

I had a very bad time as well when I started secondary school mate, I went to one school but was so bad I didn't fully sit through one lesson, I would always be in bits crying and have to be taken into another room. Ended up being taken out permanently after a week and moved to a different school because the teachers couldn't deal with me. The 2nd school was better but I was still very bad for the first few months, I struggled to make friends and developed a lot of anger deep inside because I internalised so much and was convinced everyone was laughing at me because of my crying, perhaps your son feels the same and it's fuelling his bad behaviour?

It did get better though thanks to my mum, she was very, very patient with me and gave me the comfort I needed to help me get over horrendous feelings, it was like a fear of the unknown. If things are kept stable at home then things will in time stablise at school as well, your son will get used to the day-to-day routine and he'll calm down. All kids go through this scary period and some manage it better than others but he will come through it I promise you. Heck I was so bad I needed counseling from the school chaplain and it took weeks before the teachers stopped having to be on eggshells with me.

Sometimes I wish I could go back and re-live my school years, I definitely didn't make the most of them. I ended up having only one proper mate and we basically stuck together from year 8 to 11 but then lost contact after leaving. I wish I would have been more outgoing and had more of a social circle but oh well, it could have been worse I guess.

Good luck mate and stay strong. Keep us updated.

 

[COYBL25]

Hi, anyone any experience with their child being depressed? As a family we have been really struggling over the last few months. My son who's 11 is going through a torrid time since starting high school. He's incredibly low, has developed anger management issues and is on the verge of exploding at all times. We walk on eggshells all day trying to find a balance between not creating an incident but also not allowing any bad behaviour. Despite this, this slightest thing can set him off. When this happens he starts biting things (says this stops him from getting angry) then screaming, hitting/kicking things I.e. Wall, chairs, doors etc. Then he starts on character assassinations of all around him and says really cruel things about me, his mum, brother. On three occasions he's become physical and hit me. Twice I've had to physically take him to the floor and restrain him. He'll say some pretty horrid things like I hope you die etc. He has also spoke a lot about not wanting to be here and killing himself. On two occasions he has sort of acted on this by saying things like "find me a small object, I'm going to choke myself". As a result we've had a few appointments with CAMHS and we are waiting on some more appointments. We are also in regular contact with his school.

I feel lost. I can't relate to these thoughts/feelings as I've never experienced any format of depression. He just tells me there is no point going to CAMHS or seeing anyone at school as nobody can help him. My worry is that he's developing this "don't care" attitude so thinks it's OK to misbehave as he'll just kick off. His younger brother is witness to a lot of this and no even he is starting to play up a little i.e. Copying some of the things his brother has been doing. He also doesn't want to do anything anymore. Since the age of 5 he's done karate and in the last 18 months he's competed. He's a junior black belt and is very good, is respected at his club and knows lots of people. He used to train a few times a week but I'm the past three months he's barely been. Right now it's not that I important but I think not exercising and getting out of the house isn't healthy and the longer he leaves it the harder it is to return.

Sorry for rambling.....hope it makes sense.


Barm.

Hi mate, I'm not an exepert, but it sounds like your lad may have :

Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder ( ADHD ).

I support parents of children with a variety of disabilities / disorders and one of the fellas I'm seeing at the mo, has a son of a similar age and your lads symptoms almost mirror his.

It could be that the onset of puberty has been the trigger.

Have a look at ADHD, if you haven't already.

It's treatable through medication and cutting out certain foods / drink etc.

 

[barmcake]

I had a very bad time as well when I started secondary school mate, I went to one school but was so bad I didn't fully sit through one lesson, I would always be in bits crying and have to be taken into another room. Ended up being taken out permanently after a week and moved to a different school because the teachers couldn't deal with me. The 2nd school was better but I was still very bad for the first few months, I struggled to make friends and developed a lot of anger deep inside because I internalised so much and was convinced everyone was laughing at me because of my crying, perhaps your son feels the same and it's fuelling his bad behaviour?

It did get better though thanks to my mum, she was very, very patient with me and gave me the comfort I needed to help me get over horrendous feelings, it was like a fear of the unknown. If things are kept stable at home then things will in time stablise at school as well, your son will get used to the day-to-day routine and he'll calm down. All kids go through this scary period and some manage it better than others but he will come through it I promise you. Heck I was so bad I needed counseling from the school chaplain and it took weeks before the teachers stopped having to be on eggshells with me.

Sometimes I wish I could go back and re-live my school years, I definitely didn't make the most of them. I ended up having only one proper mate and we basically stuck together from year 8 to 11 but then lost contact after leaving. I wish I would have been more outgoing and had more of a social circle but oh well, it could have been worse I guess.

Good luck mate and stay strong. Keep us updated.

Thanks mate, sorry to hear you had a tough time. He has struggled with High School and I don't think it helps that he's the youngest (birthday is 31st August). However, he's not being badly behaved at school, hes fine. He's also done really well academically with great scores in his last report. When I say my misbehave, he's probably an angel compared to some kids out there but compared to what we are used to he is misbehaving. I think a lot if the issues are around forming relationships and maybe being a little too desperate for friends. He's already had three 'girlfriends' - again I think part of wanting to be liked. Over the last few weeks he's made friends with a lad and has this girlfriend (who school tell me is a very nice and sensible girl) so we were hoping he'd be a little happier. I suppose a good example of how he is at the moment would be last weekend. He, his mate and their girlfriends went to one of these trampoline places. He came back and was in a low mood all evening. We assumed something had gone wrong but when my wife spoke with him at bedtime he said everything was great, had a good time and couldn't understand himself why he now felt so low.

 

[barmcake]

Hi mate, I'm not an exepert, but it sounds like your lad may have :

Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder ( ADHD ).

I support parents of children with a variety of disabilities / disorders and one of the fellas I'm seeing at the mo, has a son of a similar age and your lads symptoms almost mirror his.

It could be that the onset of puberty has been the trigger.

Have a look at ADHD, if you haven't already.

It's treatable through medication and cutting out certain foods / drink etc.

Thanks for the reply mate. I've had a quick read and he does tick a few of the boxes but not loads. I'll have a deeper look into it though.

 

[Durham Toffee]

Hi, anyone any experience with their child being depressed? As a family we have been really struggling over the last few months. My son who's 11 is going through a torrid time since starting high school. He's incredibly low, has developed anger management issues and is on the verge of exploding at all times. We walk on eggshells all day trying to find a balance between not creating an incident but also not allowing any bad behaviour. Despite this, this slightest thing can set him off. When this happens he starts biting things (says this stops him from getting angry) then screaming, hitting/kicking things I.e. Wall, chairs, doors etc. Then he starts on character assassinations of all around him and says really cruel things about me, his mum, brother. On three occasions he's become physical and hit me. Twice I've had to physically take him to the floor and restrain him. He'll say some pretty horrid things like I hope you die etc. He has also spoke a lot about not wanting to be here and killing himself. On two occasions he has sort of acted on this by saying things like "find me a small object, I'm going to choke myself". As a result we've had a few appointments with CAMHS and we are waiting on some more appointments. We are also in regular contact with his school.

I feel lost. I can't relate to these thoughts/feelings as I've never experienced any format of depression. He just tells me there is no point going to CAMHS or seeing anyone at school as nobody can help him. My worry is that he's developing this "don't care" attitude so thinks it's OK to misbehave as he'll just kick off. His younger brother is witness to a lot of this and no even he is starting to play up a little i.e. Copying some of the things his brother has been doing. He also doesn't want to do anything anymore. Since the age of 5 he's done karate and in the last 18 months he's competed. He's a junior black belt and is very good, is respected at his club and knows lots of people. He used to train a few times a week but I'm the past three months he's barely been. Right now it's not that I important but I think not exercising and getting out of the house isn't healthy and the longer he leaves it the harder it is to return.

Sorry for rambling.....hope it makes sense.

Barm.

I'd speak to school and ask for an EP (Educational Psychologist) assessment. I know that sounds scary, but you'd be surprised how many go on every week in schools up and down the country. They'll put things in place pretty quick and should be able to speak with him and assign him a case review individual.

They may involved CAMHS (Child and Adult Mental Health Services) which again sounds terrifying, but they've got good folk who will be able to act with other agencies to provide the best advice.

I've got a few kids in my class who are very violent, very prone to anger and very irrational when it comes to emotional maturity. It's tough seeing them like that and even tougher having to restrain them. Can't imagine how it feels when it's your own...

 

[barmcake]

I'd speak to school and ask for an EP (Educational Psychologist) assessment. I know that sounds scary, but you'd be surprised how many go on every week in schools up and down the country. They'll put things in place pretty quick and should be able to speak with him and assign him a case review individual.

They may involved CAMHS (Child and Adult Mental Health Services) which again sounds terrifying, but they've got good folk who will be able to act with other agencies to provide the best advice.

I've got a few kids in my class who are very violent, very prone to anger and very irrational when it comes to emotional maturity. It's tough seeing them like that and even tougher having to restrain them. Can't imagine how it feels when it's your own...

Thanks for the reply. We have a good relationship with his head of year and communicate regularly. Apart from a few minor incidents he's fine at school and all his teachers say he's fine. They even say he seems to be really popular. He has access to one of the staff (not sure of her exact role) that he can go and see anytime he wants to chat with. He also has seen an external therapist a couple of times who the school get in regularly to see kids. We've been to CAMHS twice and are awaiting a referral to the next level.