Catfish Blues
Player Valuation: £15m
Guys, how do anti-depressants actually work?
I don't know whether they'd work for me or not. I've been self diagnosed depressed since i was 14 (now 39). It's a long story i don't really wanna get into yet but i feel that i'm depressed because of things that have happened to me and they way my life is, the way i am, things i honestly can't do anything about.
Then it seems that other people who are depressed are so despite their life, it's their brain which causes it.
I know i've probably explained that terribly, apologies. I believe anti depressants work on the latter people because they deal with the chemicals in the brain, is that right?
Whereas i i'm not sure if they will work for me because they won't be able to change the fact that i'm me and they can't change that.
I have good days and bad days, up's and down's but the anger and hatred is still there, just soemtimes i manage to bury it deep down and almost forget about it for a little bit, eventually it comes back and just goes in cycles.
I know you'll say speak to a doctor but it's really hard and i'm still building up the courage (i did see one when i was 19 but it just made me feel worse than i was so kinda put me off). I'd kinda managed to level myself out and cope with things for the last few years but last couple of months i've gone really low, almost feel like i've goven up because there is no point anymore (but don't worry, i'm way too scared to kill myself) so that kinda makes things worse because i know i have no way out so i'm stuck like this.
I'm also awful at explaining my feelings, i just clam up and literally cannot speak, this is god damn hard just typing so how can a doctor help me if i can't tell them the problem?
So i just feel so completly stuck and pointless, i'm just drifting along aimlessly, and what kind of life is that? No wife, no kids, isn't that what life's for?
Make an appointment with your GP, print off what you typed above and take it with you.
If, when you get to the docs, you dry up and can't speak up about your problems, then just pass over the print out to them and say "This is me"
Chances are though, when you get there, you'll be able to talk about it and the printout will be there like a shopping list that you take to the supermarket, not really needed, but there if you do.