Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

Fletch said:
Been through this myself, had some bad feelings for a few months and then one day I was painting the eaves,came down the ladder and caught her on the phone to her BF, she didn't know I was listening. It all came out, was messy, painful, but I pulled through as you will. Protect yourself with your house, I lost everything and started again, I mean everything.

Above everything, keep your dignity, don't involve mutual friends and you'll come out the better man, she will also realise one day she's the one made the mistake, by which time you'll be right as rain.
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Thanks mate.
 
fozzman said:
First time i'v posted. Apologies to people on here with bigger issues than mine, i'm just hoping that writing/posting it, it will perhaps help me come to terms with it. Here goes, tomorrow morning I have to say goodbye for the final time to my 14 year old pet dog, and i'm in absolute bits. On top of this, I will then have to inform my 10 year old son what has happend to our dog (who he adores) and also then have to attempt to try to explain it to my other son, who isn't quite 3 yet. I have a couple of days off work, and i'm considering taking my son out of school for 2 days aswell. But this is also for selfish reasons, as i'm dreading being in the house alone.
Anyways, there it is.
Cheers.
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I've been through this mate. Three times. Am not a saint but I did manage the best of a tough situation. Let me tell you about my beautiful Border Collie, Duffy. Firstly, I told the children everything. Our dog was old and sick and needed to have his pain ended because we all loved him and would want the best for him. Secondly, I gave them the option to be there when it was done if they wished. They both chose to be there. I knew that I had to be with our dog as the injection was given because I owed it to him - sure you feel the same about your dog. It's very tough but I focussed on stroking his head and talking to him - so he had familiar voices and sensations. Next: I asked the vet to do the job at our home to which he readily agreed. One reason I could choose that option is that I have a sizeable garden where I wanted to bury Duffy's body. If you have that option, I can recommend it as it gives some kind of closure. If not, the vet may offer you a service to dispose of your pet for you. There are also cremation services available for loved animals - my wife used one for her horse. All very dignified and respectful.

None of which makes it easier. I lost Duffy 12 years ago and am in floods of tears writing this now - I love him still and miss him. But I was able to do the right thing by him and was able to look back fondly on the happy walks we had in all weathers. Both my children who were 7 and 5 at the time showed real strength. A few weeks after we buried Duffy, my son suggested that we have a picnic in the garden next to his burial place and we all talked about our memories of him. His collar still hangs next to the fireplace.

The death of a loved one - human or animal - isnt something I've really ever really got over. I've just learned to live with the loss, the empty space which was once occupied and the memories. Of course, it helps to talk about it. So come on here and post all you like. I can tell you that writing this post has helped me - it can do the same for you. All the best for tomorrow mate.
 
trebilcock66 said:
I've been through this mate. Three times. Am not a saint but I did manage the best of a tough situation. Let me tell you about my beautiful Border Collie, Duffy. Firstly, I told the children everything. Our dog was old and sick and needed to have his pain ended because we all loved him and would want the best for him. Secondly, I gave them the option to be there when it was done if they wished. They both chose to be there. I knew that I had to be with our dog as the injection was given because I owed it to him - sure you feel the same about your dog. It's very tough but I focussed on stroking his head and talking to him - so he had familiar voices and sensations. Next: I asked the vet to do the job at our home to which he readily agreed. One reason I could choose that option is that I have a sizeable garden where I wanted to bury Duffy's body. If you have that option, I can recommend it as it gives some kind of closure. If not, the vet may offer you a service to dispose of your pet for you. There are also cremation services available for loved animals - my wife used one for her horse. All very dignified and respectful.

None of which makes it easier. I lost Duffy 12 years ago and am in floods of tears writing this now - I love him still and miss him. But I was able to do the right thing by him and was able to look back fondly on the happy walks we had in all weathers. Both my children who were 7 and 5 at the time showed real strength. A few weeks after we buried Duffy, my son suggested that we have a picnic in the garden next to his burial place and we all talked about our memories of him. His collar still hangs next to the fireplace.

The death of a loved one - human or animal - isnt something I've really ever really got over. I've just learned to live with the loss, the empty space which was once occupied and the memories. Of course, it helps to talk about it. So come on here and post all you like. I can tell you that writing this post has helped me - it can do the same for you. All the best for tomorrow mate.
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Wonderful post mate x
 

trebilcock66 said:
I've been through this mate. Three times. Am not a saint but I did manage the best of a tough situation. Let me tell you about my beautiful Border Collie, Duffy. Firstly, I told the children everything. Our dog was old and sick and needed to have his pain ended because we all loved him and would want the best for him. Secondly, I gave them the option to be there when it was done if they wished. They both chose to be there. I knew that I had to be with our dog as the injection was given because I owed it to him - sure you feel the same about your dog. It's very tough but I focussed on stroking his head and talking to him - so he had familiar voices and sensations. Next: I asked the vet to do the job at our home to which he readily agreed. One reason I could choose that option is that I have a sizeable garden where I wanted to bury Duffy's body. If you have that option, I can recommend it as it gives some kind of closure. If not, the vet may offer you a service to dispose of your pet for you. There are also cremation services available for loved animals - my wife used one for her horse. All very dignified and respectful.

None of which makes it easier. I lost Duffy 12 years ago and am in floods of tears writing this now - I love him still and miss him. But I was able to do the right thing by him and was able to look back fondly on the happy walks we had in all weathers. Both my children who were 7 and 5 at the time showed real strength. A few weeks after we buried Duffy, my son suggested that we have a picnic in the garden next to his burial place and we all talked about our memories of him. His collar still hangs next to the fireplace.

The death of a loved one - human or animal - isnt something I've really ever really got over. I've just learned to live with the loss, the empty space which was once occupied and the memories. Of course, it helps to talk about it. So come on here and post all you like. I can tell you that writing this post has helped me - it can do the same for you. All the best for tomorrow mate.
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Thank you. Have already said goodbye this morning to my dog Charlie. My eldest is taking it so so, but will be fine. My youngest, who's not quite 3, hasn't noticed yet.
Thank you for your kind words and amazing post.
 
I've never owned a dog. Never liked them to be honest.
Then my sister went and "ordered" a Maltese Shitzu from a breeding farm to help my nephew (14) and niece (12) develop more responsibility and confidence.
I was "forced" to look after him 2 or 3 days a week.
All I'll say is this. I now understand why they are man's best friend. End of.

'Pixel' watching the Merseyside derby in disgust...

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trebilcock66 said:
I've been through this mate. Three times. Am not a saint but I did manage the best of a tough situation. Let me tell you about my beautiful Border Collie, Duffy. Firstly, I told the children everything. Our dog was old and sick and needed to have his pain ended because we all loved him and would want the best for him. Secondly, I gave them the option to be there when it was done if they wished. They both chose to be there. I knew that I had to be with our dog as the injection was given because I owed it to him - sure you feel the same about your dog. It's very tough but I focussed on stroking his head and talking to him - so he had familiar voices and sensations. Next: I asked the vet to do the job at our home to which he readily agreed. One reason I could choose that option is that I have a sizeable garden where I wanted to bury Duffy's body. If you have that option, I can recommend it as it gives some kind of closure. If not, the vet may offer you a service to dispose of your pet for you. There are also cremation services available for loved animals - my wife used one for her horse. All very dignified and respectful.

None of which makes it easier. I lost Duffy 12 years ago and am in floods of tears writing this now - I love him still and miss him. But I was able to do the right thing by him and was able to look back fondly on the happy walks we had in all weathers. Both my children who were 7 and 5 at the time showed real strength. A few weeks after we buried Duffy, my son suggested that we have a picnic in the garden next to his burial place and we all talked about our memories of him. His collar still hangs next to the fireplace.

The death of a loved one - human or animal - isnt something I've really ever really got over. I've just learned to live with the loss, the empty space which was once occupied and the memories. Of course, it helps to talk about it. So come on here and post all you like. I can tell you that writing this post has helped me - it can do the same for you. All the best for tomorrow mate.
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This got me balling my eyes out before breakfast, lovely post, amazing memories for your family. x
 
trebilcock66 said:
I've been through this mate. Three times. Am not a saint but I did manage the best of a tough situation. Let me tell you about my beautiful Border Collie, Duffy. Firstly, I told the children everything. Our dog was old and sick and needed to have his pain ended because we all loved him and would want the best for him. Secondly, I gave them the option to be there when it was done if they wished. They both chose to be there. I knew that I had to be with our dog as the injection was given because I owed it to him - sure you feel the same about your dog. It's very tough but I focussed on stroking his head and talking to him - so he had familiar voices and sensations. Next: I asked the vet to do the job at our home to which he readily agreed. One reason I could choose that option is that I have a sizeable garden where I wanted to bury Duffy's body. If you have that option, I can recommend it as it gives some kind of closure. If not, the vet may offer you a service to dispose of your pet for you. There are also cremation services available for loved animals - my wife used one for her horse. All very dignified and respectful.

None of which makes it easier. I lost Duffy 12 years ago and am in floods of tears writing this now - I love him still and miss him. But I was able to do the right thing by him and was able to look back fondly on the happy walks we had in all weathers. Both my children who were 7 and 5 at the time showed real strength. A few weeks after we buried Duffy, my son suggested that we have a picnic in the garden next to his burial place and we all talked about our memories of him. His collar still hangs next to the fireplace.

The death of a loved one - human or animal - isnt something I've really ever really got over. I've just learned to live with the loss, the empty space which was once occupied and the memories. Of course, it helps to talk about it. So come on here and post all you like. I can tell you that writing this post has helped me - it can do the same for you. All the best for tomorrow mate.
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Just brilliant.
 

kithnou said:
I've never owned a dog. Never liked them to be honest.
Then my sister went and "ordered" a Maltese Shitzu from a breeding farm to help my nephew (14) and niece (12) develop more responsibility and confidence.
I was "forced" to look after him 2 or 3 days a week.
All I'll say is this. I now understand why they are man's best friend. End of.

'Pixel' watching the Merseyside derby in disgust...

View attachment 37923 View attachment 37924 View attachment 37925
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I am deffo reporting you to the RSPCA for making good him watch that....
 
fozzman said:
Thank you. Have already said goodbye this morning to my dog Charlie. My eldest is taking it so so, but will be fine. My youngest, who's not quite 3, hasn't noticed yet.
Thank you for your kind words and amazing post.
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Sorry for your loss today mate. About 10 months after I lost Duffy, I acquired Rosie who is great fun.... also now gently entering her old age. She and I have walked a lot of miles together. There is a future without your Charlie... but it doesn't have to be all sad.
 
efcforever said:
View attachment 37929
Little bit late with this but this is our dog Piper. She'll be irreplaceable. So sorry for the people who have lost a dog. It must be so difficult.
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Mate don't worry about Piper getting on. One thing i've learnt over the last couple of days, is to cherish every day with them. Charlie's peak years were when he was
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about 9 or 10 (see pic att took when he was 10 or 11!) He overcame cancer (aswell as various other serious afflictions) 3 times during his life. Tbh I think I was starting to think he would go on for ever! But in the end, I think he'd just had enough, and went out on his terms. Which is comforting.
 

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