Mate. I figured out some bad news yesterday very similiar. Never came on this thread. My wife admitted being up to no good yesterday after i decided to keep digging for the truth. I suspected somethings werent right after her night out and she eventually had to admit it after contridicting herself time and time again. It had been going on a couple months. Very similiar total denial and blaming me for not believing her. But I wrote everything down. I was able to figure it out myself that her story did not match up time and time again. I kept going questioning her as i knew i was in the right to deserve the truth. She had admitted up to a point and i was just about to leave it until i looked at my facts again and there was something small not quite right. So i went again and she finally admitted. Its been the hardest hours of my life. I dont know where we will go. But at least i know the story now.
Im doing my best to hold it together. I have decided due to having 2 kids im not going to cause chaos just yet until my mind is clear. I dont know where im going with this post. I have not told my mates. I contacted my sister and she has helped me through the day. Im hoping ill be able to figure out what to do and a way to go forward.
I was going to private message you but maybe i felt that way i was hiding something like i did something wrong. Hope you find some light as well.
I've mentioned this before on here mate, but it may be of help to you.
About 18 mths ago one of my best mates came home form cancer treatment early and caught his missus in the arms of the fella that was doing their kitchen. They have two kids, same as you.
Quite rightly he was convinced that he would be able to divorce her as the innocent party and this would tip the financial settlement in his favour - Wrong.
After seeing a good brief, he was told that it's all about the kids full stop and unless the mums a rancid smackhead, a court will always want the kids stay with the mum in the house. Which means that the fella pays for it, regardless of the rights or wrongs.
Worse still, she would be entitled to some of his pension, should they split too.
To cut a very long story short, they've stayed together for the kids.
He hates her. His family won't go near the house when she's there and his friends won't either ( inc me ).
It's a horrible situation and I'm sure the kids must've picked up on it too.
He says he won't divorce her until the kids have left home and are independent. This would lessen the settlement, but he'd be in his mid to late fifties then.
It's a no win situation for the fella mate.
Stay together with someone you despise or move out and get rinsed ?.
It's not my intention to be all doom and gloom mate, but it's better that you know this eariy on ( if you don't already )
rather than getting over the intial shock and then finding this out.
Once it's sunk in, get legal advice mate.
