Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

[efcforever]

One you will probably all relate to!

Coming up with a 'viable' physical excuse (stomach pain, the trots, flu) for being off sick for a few days with mental health/stress symptoms.

Hope you all have a cracking day

I think the best thing is to be honest with them. I have recently approached my boss and explained that my mental health is currently not the best. They were very supportive but more importantly it was one less thing for me to worry about.

I think it helps if you can demonstrate that you are trying to get better. I was able to tell them that I have seen my GP several times and that I'm seeking treatment.

 

[Jokerdan]

I think the best thing is to be honest with them. I have recently approached my boss and explained that my mental health is currently not the best. They were very supportive but more importantly it was one less thing for me to worry about.

I think it helps if you can demonstrate that you are trying to get better. I was able to tell them that I have seen my GP several times and that I'm seeking treatment.

You're helping yourself and learning not to hide away. The first and most important step to overcoming those anxieties is to learn to re-educate yourself to face them head on. Not easy l know - oh, do l know - but every little success you experience will make you stronger and if not vanquish those negative thoughts altogether they will help to train your mind and, more importantly, enable you to cope better when you feel them coming on.
At the end of each day retrace your steps - think and focus on the positives no matter how small or meaningless they may seem and avoid dwelling on the negatives. Instead just accept them for what they are, a temporary blip on what was an otherwise meaningFUL day. If you managed to do something to deflect the negatives try and recall what it was you did and keep it in storage for the next time. Something so little or benign a task or diversion just proves that the negative thoughts we experience but which we blow up out of all proportion are simply no more than intrusive thoughts that will only harm us if we permit them to.
Stay strong, boys and girls - the future can be rosy if we want it enough albeit l am the first to admit it is a marathon and not a sprint.

 

[efcforever]

You're helping yourself and learning not to hide away. The first and most important step to overcoming those anxieties is to learn to re-educate yourself to face them head on. Not easy l know - oh, do l know - but every little success you experience will make you stronger and if not vanquish those negative thoughts altogether they will help to train your mind and, more importantly, enable you to cope better when you feel them coming on.
At the end of each day retrace your steps - think and focus on the positives no matter how small or meaningless they may seem and avoid dwelling on the negatives. Instead just accept them for what they are, a temporary blip on what was an otherwise meaningFUL day. If you managed to do something to deflect the negatives try and recall what it was you did and keep it in storage for the next time. Something so little or benign a task or diversion just proves that the negative thoughts we experience but which we blow up out of all proportion are simply no more than intrusive thoughts that will only harm us if we permit them to.
Stay strong, boys and girls - the future can be rosy if we want it enough albeit l am the first to admit it is a marathon and not a sprint.

Cheers mate.

One thing that my councillor suggested doing this week is allowing myself to feel angry if necessary. In the past I'd always felt being angry was wrong but my councillor explained that sometimes it is justified.

I was angry about something that happened at work yesterday. I went back to my desk let the feeling come, thought about it and realised it didn't matter. The angry feeling went away really quickly.

 

[EFCPaul]

Went for an interview today and landed the job, over the moon.

40 hours a week, Mon-Fri with people my own age and getting the bus in every morning wit my brother. The interview itself went good, I was nervous and worried about how I was coming across but they really took a shine to me it seems, one of the ladies doing really took a shine to me I could tell. They liked my personality (cracked a one-liner or two, finished a few sentences for them) and as I shook all of their hands before I left she quickly got in;

"By the way, you've interviewed really well (big beam)."

There's someone being polite and then there's really making a point that you're pleased.

Met my brother who works close by in a cafe straight after and not two minutes goes by before they call me up. I immediately panic, thinking that perhaps I've left something behind. Instead it's the nice lady;

"Hiya Paul, you interviewed so well just that we'd just like to offer you the position right now. These are the hours, do you accept (Hell yes I do!).

Even for a company that is keen to recruit, getting a phone call literally 5 minutes after the interview finishes is quite an ego boost. I'm writing my letter of resignation for the current job now, it feels great. Hopefully the crappy period is over and very bright times are ahead.

To anyone who feels stuck in a rut, please don't give up on yourself. Just be true to yourself and be a good person and something good will come your way.

 

[COYBL25]

Went for an interview today and landed the job, over the moon.

40 hours a week, Mon-Fri with people my own age and getting the bus in every morning wit my brother. The interview itself went good, I was nervous and worried about how I was coming across but they really took a shine to me it seems, one of the ladies doing really took a shine to me I could tell. They liked my personality (cracked a one-liner or two, finished a few sentences for them) and as I shook all of their hands before I left she quickly got in;

"By the way, you've interviewed really well (big beam)."

There's someone being polite and then there's really making a point that you're pleased.

Met my brother who works close by in a cafe straight after and not two minutes goes by before they call me up. I immediately panic, thinking that perhaps I've left something behind. Instead it's the nice lady;

"Hiya Paul, you interviewed so well just that we'd just like to offer you the position right now. These are the hours, do you accept (Hell yes I do!).

Even for a company that is keen to recruit, getting a phone call literally 5 minutes after the interview finishes is quite an ego boost. I'm writing my letter of resignation for the current job now, it feels great. Hopefully the crappy period is over and very bright times are ahead.

To anyone who feels stuck in a rut, please don't give up on yourself. Just be true to yourself and be a good person and something good will come your way.

Made up for you mate, you've been through a lot and hopefully come out of it in the other side.

Onwards and upwards

 

[COYBL25]

Cheers mate.

One thing that my councillor suggested doing this week is allowing myself to feel angry if necessary. In the past I'd always felt being angry was wrong but my councillor explained that sometimes it is justified.

I was angry about something that happened at work yesterday. I went back to my desk let the feeling come, thought about it and realised it didn't matter. The angry feeling went away really quickly.

I've always found that excercising when angry is a brilliant release mechanism too.

By the time you've finished, you wonder what you were actually angry for !!!

 

[COYBL25]

My sleep always suffered if I'm stressed. Then it creates a cycle where I'm tired and stressed. Then I'm sat up dreading sleep or waking up in the middle of the night as my body lashed cortisol around my system.

Everyone is different but what works for me is to identify it and put actions in place. Alcohol is out the window, I eat very healthy, go the gym often, I turn off all electrical screens at 9pm and practice more mindfulness. Ask any of my mates and they'd say I'd be the last person who'd have a go at mindfulness but I tried it and it works. I'd urge many of you to have a go at the starter for ten from Headspace. Either on the app or website.

It's my way of staying away from tablets. Won't work for everyone but it's worth a go isn't it?

Spot on and also the strength to say " no " to peer pressure with things like ale, which is harder than it sounds.

 

[EFCPaul]

Made up for you mate, you've been through a lot and hopefully come out of it in the other side.

Onwards and upwards

Thanks mate, I'm going to enjoy handing my notice in tomorrow. Don't say this to sound full of it but I'm just sick of being a good egg in a nest of bad eggs with horrific stenches on them in the current job. Got into it loads of times in here how unbelievable ignorant/arrogant a lot of them can be, it got me so badly down for a long period. Recently I've learnt to just turn my nose up at these particular people and not let them bother me but now I've reached a point where I can just cut them out completely. I won't miss them one bit but I know they'll miss me, or rather they'll miss me carrying them. Well whatever, karma will get them eventually.

I want to be a winner in life, a person who strives for and chases after the best all of the time and one way or another ends up finding a way of getting it.

 

[jonnyg]

My older brother got into trouble with the law and I've been feeling really conflicted.

We're doing our best to support him, but it's really messed with how I see him as a person, he's always been the 'model' son and his future is at risk with a record.

On one hand I'm in shock over what he did and angry with the stress and disappointment he's caused to my parents, but Im trying my best to keep our relationship the same, it just feels like what he's done is hanging over all our interactions now even though we haven't discussed it one to one.

My job prospects arent exactly great compared to him and I feel like the burden of supporting the family might fall on my shoulders. I've always been the screwup but it was at least comforting to know my brother had his life in order, now i just dont know.

 

[Groucho]

My older brother got into trouble with the law and I've been feeling really conflicted.

We're doing our best to support him, but it's really messed with how I see him as a person, he's always been the 'model' son and his future is at risk with a record.

On one hand I'm in shock over what he did and angry with the stress and disappointment he's caused to my parents, but Im trying my best to keep our relationship the same, it just feels like what he's done is hanging over all our interactions now even though we haven't discussed it one to one.

My job prospects arent exactly great compared to him and I feel like the burden of supporting the family might fall on my shoulders. I've always been the screwup but it was at least comforting to know my brother had his life in order, now i just dont know.

We all make mistakes. He's still your brother though.

 

[jonnyg]

We all make mistakes. He's still your brother though.

Just feels like maybe I don't really know him as a person. I'll still stand by him.

 

[efcforever]

Went for an interview today and landed the job, over the moon.

40 hours a week, Mon-Fri with people my own age and getting the bus in every morning wit my brother. The interview itself went good, I was nervous and worried about how I was coming across but they really took a shine to me it seems, one of the ladies doing really took a shine to me I could tell. They liked my personality (cracked a one-liner or two, finished a few sentences for them) and as I shook all of their hands before I left she quickly got in;

"By the way, you've interviewed really well (big beam)."

There's someone being polite and then there's really making a point that you're pleased.

Met my brother who works close by in a cafe straight after and not two minutes goes by before they call me up. I immediately panic, thinking that perhaps I've left something behind. Instead it's the nice lady;

"Hiya Paul, you interviewed so well just that we'd just like to offer you the position right now. These are the hours, do you accept (Hell yes I do!).

Even for a company that is keen to recruit, getting a phone call literally 5 minutes after the interview finishes is quite an ego boost. I'm writing my letter of resignation for the current job now, it feels great. Hopefully the crappy period is over and very bright times are ahead.

To anyone who feels stuck in a rut, please don't give up on yourself. Just be true to yourself and be a good person and something good will come your way.

This us great news mate. Really pleased for you!

 

[COYBL25]

My older brother got into trouble with the law and I've been feeling really conflicted.

We're doing our best to support him, but it's really messed with how I see him as a person, he's always been the 'model' son and his future is at risk with a record.

On one hand I'm in shock over what he did and angry with the stress and disappointment he's caused to my parents, but Im trying my best to keep our relationship the same, it just feels like what he's done is hanging over all our interactions now even though we haven't discussed it one to one.

My job prospects arent exactly great compared to him and I feel like the burden of supporting the family might fall on my shoulders. I've always been the screwup but it was at least comforting to know my brother had his life in order, now i just dont know.

How old is he mate ?

As @Groucho says, we've all daft things, it's just some of us didn't get caught, plus the old bill would take you home for most minor stuff in days gone by, for your Dad to deal with, rather than nicking you and giving you a criminal record

 

[efcforever]

Had my 3rd councilling session today. It was hard work.

I think I'm getting somewhere though. My councillor has been explaining were my thought process is completely wrong. Now it's about retraining my mind and creating different path ways. It's this distorted thought process that is making me feel like a bad person. Got to keep working at it and go again next week.

 

[duncs pigeon]

Ive had a few issues myself over the years with depression, really not knowing I was. Two/three years ago I went to see a councillor for a few sessions and was very good. I was recommended to read a book called 'Mindfullness, finding peace in a frantic world'. Well worth a read. Due to a relationship breakdown Im going back to same councillor in the next week or so. I will read the book again before I go.