Absolutely nothing wrong with mature ladies...although sadly in my case 'mature' now means zimmer frames
efcforever
Player Valuation: £10m
Not having a very good week. I'm noticing myself having mood swings, I'll go from feeling quite relaxed to anxious every 15 minutes or so. Not been sleeping well for about a week so that won't be helping.
Feel under pressure to attend a social event in a few weeks time. I'm working hard to get better but I don't feel up to a night at the pub yet. Not sure what to do about it. Would rather not go but don't want to let people down and most of all, I fear the reaction from people if I cancel.
Feel under pressure to attend a social event in a few weeks time. I'm working hard to get better but I don't feel up to a night at the pub yet. Not sure what to do about it. Would rather not go but don't want to let people down and most of all, I fear the reaction from people if I cancel.
Please try to get some more sleep, I swear it makes a lot of difference. When we're exhausted our brains are well and truly goosed and focusing your brain is impossible.
As for the social event, would it be a solution to just go for an hour or two to show your face? Then just tell whomever you're going with that you're tired and are going to call it quits early. Least that way they know you made the effort to come but you don't have to be stuck there.
In regards to the mood swings, try to relax more of an evening. Throw a film or tv show, relax with a drink and some food. I find that helps a lot, having my own space before bed time. Feeling at ease on your own time helps settle your emotions day to day.
Stay strong and keep us updated.
efcforever
Player Valuation: £10m
Please try to get some more sleep, I swear it makes a lot of difference. When we're exhausted our brains are well and truly goosed and focusing your brain is impossible.
As for the social event, would it be a solution to just go for an hour or two to show your face? Then just tell whomever you're going with that you're tired and are going to call it quits early. Least that way they know you made the effort to come but you don't have to be stuck there.
In regards to the mood swings, try to relax more of an evening. Throw a film or tv show, relax with a drink and some food. I find that helps a lot, having my own space before bed time. Feeling at ease on your own time helps settle your emotions day to day.
Stay strong and keep us updated.
Thanks for the advice. I like the idea of just going out for a couple of hours. Hopefully that way people are satisfied that I made an appearance and it's easier for me to deal with.
Hoping for a better night's sleep tonight. I'll keep you updated.
Today was the 2nd day, I think it went fairly well.
Spent the morning just observing a bit more and learning, then in the afternoon I actually went on the phones to try to get the hang of it for real. It didn't feel natural but I tried my best, called about 7 or 8 people, spoke to 3 or 4 at length and did get better as I went. Never going to be flawless on the first few tries but being the person I am I'm my own biggest critic so I was a bit hard on myself, always comparing and despairing when watching the other workers who do dozens of calls every day and make it all seem so easy. My team leader said I was doing well though and was getting all the information needed so things were fine. Hopefully things continue to get better and easier and I'll continue to come my shell.
Spent the morning just observing a bit more and learning, then in the afternoon I actually went on the phones to try to get the hang of it for real. It didn't feel natural but I tried my best, called about 7 or 8 people, spoke to 3 or 4 at length and did get better as I went. Never going to be flawless on the first few tries but being the person I am I'm my own biggest critic so I was a bit hard on myself, always comparing and despairing when watching the other workers who do dozens of calls every day and make it all seem so easy. My team leader said I was doing well though and was getting all the information needed so things were fine. Hopefully things continue to get better and easier and I'll continue to come my shell.
Sounds good. Try to think that as you are your own biggest critic then if you give yourself a 5/10 for something you probably were a 7/10 or higher.Today was the 2nd day, I think it went fairly well.
Spent the morning just observing a bit more and learning, then in the afternoon I actually went on the phones to try to get the hang of it for real. It didn't feel natural but I tried my best, called about 7 or 8 people, spoke to 3 or 4 at length and did get better as I went. Never going to be flawless on the first few tries but being the person I am I'm my own biggest critic so I was a bit hard on myself, always comparing and despairing when watching the other workers who do dozens of calls every day and make it all seem so easy. My team leader said I was doing well though and was getting all the information needed so things were fine. Hopefully things continue to get better and easier and I'll continue to come my shell.
Deulofeumygod
Player Valuation: £35m
So counselling last week was interesting.
I felt a little patronised at times but wondered if this was all overly positive to make me feel good about myself but having a stranger say 'congratulations' and 'well done' after every time you tell her how your life has progressed was not helpful.
She said some things i did not agree with and the whole thing felt quite rushed.
The best part was when she laid out the outcomes from the sessions - reduce anxiety, feel more positive about my achievements and not let tiny things worry me and not focus on the negatives. Fix things with my parents is the big one.
She mentioned twice, while i was talking, about how long the sessions were even though she was 5 minutes late and i found this very frustrating and made me feel like my problems were very trivial.
She has sent me a bunch of documents to read. I read the two on depression and anxiety and after i had finished i questioned how pointless all this was and if i really had a problem or if i was creating it. I still feel really unsure about being on medication - sertralin - and i have found myself questioning all this even more.
I have another session today. I will go in open minded. I was thinking of telling her how i feel i don't have any problems and this is causing me to question everything and see what she says.
I really think what i have to do is speak to my parents and get closure but that is such a BIG deal i am not sure i can bring myself to do it. It has been 8 years of pent up anger and frustration and denial about it.
Ramble over. As always, this thread is incredible. I have told friends to check this out and really do appreciate any replies and advice.
I felt a little patronised at times but wondered if this was all overly positive to make me feel good about myself but having a stranger say 'congratulations' and 'well done' after every time you tell her how your life has progressed was not helpful.
She said some things i did not agree with and the whole thing felt quite rushed.
The best part was when she laid out the outcomes from the sessions - reduce anxiety, feel more positive about my achievements and not let tiny things worry me and not focus on the negatives. Fix things with my parents is the big one.
She mentioned twice, while i was talking, about how long the sessions were even though she was 5 minutes late and i found this very frustrating and made me feel like my problems were very trivial.
She has sent me a bunch of documents to read. I read the two on depression and anxiety and after i had finished i questioned how pointless all this was and if i really had a problem or if i was creating it. I still feel really unsure about being on medication - sertralin - and i have found myself questioning all this even more.
I have another session today. I will go in open minded. I was thinking of telling her how i feel i don't have any problems and this is causing me to question everything and see what she says.
I really think what i have to do is speak to my parents and get closure but that is such a BIG deal i am not sure i can bring myself to do it. It has been 8 years of pent up anger and frustration and denial about it.
Ramble over. As always, this thread is incredible. I have told friends to check this out and really do appreciate any replies and advice.
Deulofeumygod
Player Valuation: £35m
Never feel you have to justify yourself to other people either. If you need to leave and it is becoming too much then leave. If you do not say goodbye to everyone or anyone you can always text when you are safe back at home and calm again. If anyone is annoyed by your behaviour that is their problem, they do no know what you are going through.
Sometimes i think you need to think about yourself and your well being.
I always feel when i really do not want to go out that just seeing friends and even talking abut a few things you find out someone close to you might be in a similar position or gone through what you have and can also help but most importantly will understand.
Just my two pence.
Ive had two different councillos in the past mate.
One that made things worse and one was wonderful.
Just like all jobs / professions there's gonna be some who aren't as good as others.
I cut my sessions short with the one made things worse and asked to see someone else. There was a bit of wait, but the one I ended up with was really good and made a big differnce.
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What I used to do mate, was wait until everyone was drunk and then quietly slide off.
No one notices you've gone and if they do, they don't care due to being pissed and they all remember you being there
Deulofeumygod
Player Valuation: £35m
I will see how today goes and make a decision from there. Thanks!
A lot of it seems to be how you " take " to them.
Some have an ability to make you feel comfortable in their presence, others can come across as being clinical and officious.
It's just pot luck I'm afraid,
duncs pigeon
Player Valuation: £35m
I saw one 3 years ago, helped me then so going back to her. She knows my history/issues and I have learned to trust her. Can be difficult I know but sometimes better to stick than twist. If you feel they are not giving correct support be up front and tell them. They need your trust as well.
efcforever
Player Valuation: £10m
I'm currently attending weekly councilling and finding it really helpful. Prior to this I tried it twice before and hated it both times. The councillors just weren't what I was looking for and I didn't feel comfortable opening up to them. It might be worth trying a different councillor.
I think it was inappropriate for your councillor to focus so much on the length of the session. My councillor is adamant that I don't leave until I am calm and feeling ok, it has meant that we have run over by 5 minutes a couple of times but she doesn't seem to mind.
efcforever
Player Valuation: £10m
Thanks for the reply. This post is similar to some of the things that I've discussed with my councillor. Feeling like I have to justify myself and taking responsibility for other people's feelings and behaviour. I know that their behaviour is about them and not me but it's actually believing that which I struggle with, and this is what I'm working towards.