Have been a long time browser on here but never really posted.
Going through a pretty grim phase right now and I don't see any end. My and my current girlfriend decided to move to London just over a year ago. However things have changed from when we first moved, I've only really started to notice the change since we went on holiday in June, around my birthday.
She seems to be more interested in what is going on in her phone, she says it's just group chats and stuff, but she knows about my past, I suffered from anxiety and depression for 2 years once I moved back from uni after racking up too much debt and only recently within the last 6 months got my self on the right path.
It's coming back even worse than I remember from 3 years ago, just don't know what to do anymore, I've told her time and time again that things aren't right, in my head I'm ready to bin her off as my mental health is more important than her, as horrible it sounds after being together 2 years.
However the anxiety isnt the worst thing taking over it's the depression again, and I'm finding my self working out of the office a lot more as I don't want to face anyone I'll sit in bed all day and work off my laptop.
I hate going back home to visit family and it means I'm not getting to as many matches.
I can only see one slippery slope here and its already begun, I've started to drink heavy again even in the week days and try and find excuses not to see anyone as the drinking is getting worse. Credit card usage is going up, just don't see an end to it.
I know it sounds more like a bad relationship, which it is, mentally it's killing me and living 240 miles away from any family and friends is pretty grim when you're feeling this bad.
Hi mate, as
@Woolly Blue says first step has got to be going to your GP whether it's where you're living at the mo with work or at home.
I suspect you know this already, but isolating yourself is txt book depression and the more you do it, the worse it'll get.
Eventually you'll start jibbing work off too, especially if your caning the ale as well.
I bet you feel destroyed in the morning after a heavy session. The Irish call it " the fear " as the hangover ramps up your anxiety,
Ale is a depressant and also excerbates anxiety massively, due to it affecting the levels of the mood chemical CORTISOL in your brain. ( it's a natural steroid that's released as part of the waking up cycle - but is also part of the chemical process that regulates your mood )
Youre saying the depression is worse than the anxiety, but what you're describing there is also big time anxiety problems too.
Anxiety is much much harder to treat than depression, which imo is why a lot of health care professionals gloss over it.
You can get yourself back mate.
Knock the ale totally on the head for starters.
Go and see a GP, be totally honest, that way they can fully understand what's wrong and help.
Talk to your girlfriend once your ready ( Incredibly difficult I know ). You'll probably find she knew already, but didn't know what to say or how to broach it.
Exercise may be the last thing you want to do / feel like doing, but it massively lifts your mood afterwards due to the chemicals it releases. It also gets you out of the house too.
Don't isolate yourself from friends and family, they'll want to help, but can't if they don't know what's going on or never see you.
Herbal supplements can help ( don't take them if on meds though ).
There's a site called - " head space " which comes highly recommended by many on here.
There's also an NHS run site - MENTALHEALTH.ORG which is brilliant.
There's a forum on there, where posters can talk and support each other with every type of mental illness you can think and more.
Keep posting mate, there's loads on here who've walked in your shoes and can help you x
