Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

[dannyr2811]

Cheers fellas.

I've been away with work and boozing after work, gonna start to pack this in the head and get myself home on Friday and booked into the GP.

Opening up to my bird is the hardest thing I think I can do, I've never been open with her about my mental health as she works in a kids prison, so i feel bad on her dealing with my stuff after dealing with a day of mentally unstable criminals.

Gonna try plan my diary next week to work in Liverpool or somewhere that I can make a trip back home without 4 hours of grim driving.

I'm gonna buy myself a decent book to find a hotel with a gym instead of sitting in the bar and get on headspace.

I've done it before and got over it, but I'm ashamed that it's got back to me again, which I know I shouldn't be but that's just something I need to get out of my head.

 

[COYBL25]

Cheers fellas.

I've been away with work and boozing after work, gonna start to pack this in the head and get myself home on Friday and booked into the GP.

Opening up to my bird is the hardest thing I think I can do, I've never been open with her about my mental health as she works in a kids prison, so i feel bad on her dealing with my stuff after dealing with a day of mentally unstable criminals.

Gonna try plan my diary next week to work in Liverpool or somewhere that I can make a trip back home without 4 hours of grim driving.

I'm gonna buy myself a decent book to find a hotel with a gym instead of sitting in the bar and get on headspace.

I've done it before and got over it, but I'm ashamed that it's got back to me again, which I know I shouldn't be but that's just something I need to get out of my head.

One step at a time mate, don't try and do it all at once or your head will be even more battered.

Talking to your missus is gonna be the hardest thing, as it's very very hard for a fella to tell anyone, let alone his missus that he's got problems like this.

Try and choose your moment and don't get worked up about it.

Look at it another way, if it was her, wouid you want to know and help ?.

Keep posting mate and good luck x

 

[efcforever]

Have been a long time browser on here but never really posted.

Going through a pretty grim phase right now and I don't see any end. My and my current girlfriend decided to move to London just over a year ago. However things have changed from when we first moved, I've only really started to notice the change since we went on holiday in June, around my birthday.

She seems to be more interested in what is going on in her phone, she says it's just group chats and stuff, but she knows about my past, I suffered from anxiety and depression for 2 years once I moved back from uni after racking up too much debt and only recently within the last 6 months got my self on the right path.

It's coming back even worse than I remember from 3 years ago, just don't know what to do anymore, I've told her time and time again that things aren't right, in my head I'm ready to bin her off as my mental health is more important than her, as horrible it sounds after being together 2 years.

However the anxiety isnt the worst thing taking over it's the depression again, and I'm finding my self working out of the office a lot more as I don't want to face anyone I'll sit in bed all day and work off my laptop.

I hate going back home to visit family and it means I'm not getting to as many matches.

I can only see one slippery slope here and its already begun, I've started to drink heavy again even in the week days and try and find excuses not to see anyone as the drinking is getting worse. Credit card usage is going up, just don't see an end to it.

I know it sounds more like a bad relationship, which it is, mentally it's killing me and living 240 miles away from any family and friends is pretty grim when you're feeling this bad.

Hi mate. I've been up and down for years. It's frustrating to feel yourself slipping back down after you thought you'd cracked it. Like others have said, get some treatment. You need all the help you can get.

I just wanted to add about your girlfriend on her phone...I really wouldn't worry about that. My wife is never off her's, constantly on Facebook etc. It means nothing, it's just their way of distracting herself from stuff in her own head. Like you say, she must see alot in work.

However, I imagine she would want to know what's going on with you. Give her the chance to heat you out, there's a good chance she'll come through and it will strengthen your relationship.

All the best mate.

 

[Jokerdan]

Hi mate. I've been up and down for years. It's frustrating to feel yourself slipping back down after you thought you'd cracked it. Like others have said, get some treatment. You need all the help you can get.

I just wanted to add about your girlfriend on her phone...I really wouldn't worry about that. My wife is never off her's, constantly on Facebook etc. It means nothing, it's just their way of distracting herself from stuff in her own head. Like you say, she must see alot in work.

However, I imagine she would want to know what's going on with you. Give her the chance to heat you out, there's a good chance she'll come through and it will strengthen your relationship.

All the best mate.

And try to stay off the ale. It only provides a very temporary high and coming down off it even when your head is right can multiply feelings of anxiety and depression. Seek professional advice, don't lock yourself away and try to do an hour's workout each day especially an hour or two before going to bed. Even a good brisk walk and a warm shower will get the old endomorphenes kicking in which will make you feel better.

 

[efcforever]

Felt myself slipping a bit the last couple of days after a pretty positive week last week. I'm noticing more spells where I feel 'normal', if you know what I mean.

I've often wondered how much of my anxiety is 'normal', as everything I read tells me that 'it's completely normal to feel anxious from time to time'.

Some days I question myself. Am I really suffering with a mental illness or is this just how everyone feels?

 

[Jokerdan]

Felt myself slipping a bit the last couple of days after a pretty positive week last week. I'm noticing more spells where I feel 'normal', if you know what I mean.

I've often wondered how much of my anxiety is 'normal', as everything I read tells me that 'it's completely normal to feel anxious from time to time'.

Some days I question myself. Am I really suffering with a mental illness or is this just how everyone feels?

Mate, everyone suffers anxiety at some time or another. It's an in built reaction to frightening or stressful situations ie. Fight or flight syndrome.
It's just that some of us inadvertently teach ourselves through bad experiences or some hidden deep memory (usually from childhood) to expect and fear the worse. It's a lot to do with conditioning of our minds and isn't an easy thing to resolve but what helped someway to alleviating my psyche was recalling past memories or trauma and learning to come to terms with the fact that l survived them and am still here to tell the tale.
I put it down to retraining my mind and although it still surfaces from time to time just realising much of it is self generated does go a long way to putting me back on the right track.
A famous saying is that 'there is nothing to fear but fear itself'.
And then l try to remember our little Brads and the many other children like him who have no choice but to face their fears head on and do it courageously with a smile on their faces. God Bless him and them x

 

[efcforever]

Mate, everyone suffers anxiety at some time or another. It's an in built reaction to frightening or stressful situations ie. Fight or flight syndrome.
It's just that some of us inadvertently teach ourselves through bad experiences or some hidden deep memory (usually from childhood) to expect and fear the worse. It's a lot to do with conditioning of our minds and isn't an easy thing to resolve but what helped someway to alleviating my psyche was recalling past memories or trauma and learning to come to terms with the fact that l survived them and am still here to tell the tale.
I put it down to retraining my mind and although it still surfaces from time to time just realising much of it is self generated does go a long way to putting me back on the right track.
A famous saying is that 'there is nothing to fear but fear itself'.
And then l try to remember our little Brads and the many other children like him who have no choice but to face their fears head on and do it courageously with a smile on their faces. God Bless him and them x

Thanks mate. This helps.

I have been having councilling for a few weeks now so I have been learning about retraining my mind. It isn't easy but I'm better than I was before I started.

 

[Ping the Dragon Wagon]

Hi lads.

Literally just made this account (strange name and all), after being a long time browser of the forum, mostly for Everton news but I too, like many on this forum, suffer with mental health problems. This thread is absolutely brilliant, heartwarming to see human beings simply help their fellow man.

Before I get started, this will probably end up being long. If you have problems yourself, don't bother reading. I feel almost cheeky speaking on here after reading some of the problems others have had, I don't want to cause somebody to think that all this is a bit pathetic compared to what they're going to as it probably is.

Anyway, I'm 20, lived in Liverpool all my life. Was bullied for a large period of secondary school which led me to take an attempt on my own life, which I now believe was probably a cry for help as I didn't go through with it.

As things didn't change and my self confidence plummeted further, I started to lie about everything. Taught myself to be able to write with my left hand so that it was different to what was actually true in my life, even failed some exams because of it. I was in a mess. Anyway, I left school and have had the odd blip ever since but have gotten an NCTJ Diploma at college, had a couple of part time jobs but my career hasn't really taken off.

The reason I post all this is that it seems ridiculous that I'm having relationship problems now with a girl I've been with since April, my first ever girlfriend. Ridiculous, right?

This girl was who I thought was perfect, we both had problems but we accepted each other for what we are. Except her problems are really, really bad. Mental health issues, rape, miscarriage, leading to alcohol addiction that she's been in rehab for and has been attending therapy sessions for since I've known her.

I've been overly caring. Told her how I feel about her all the time, now I see that that's too much but it's all been born out of a will to help, but ever since I've grown close enough to her to talk about things, she's broken up with me because she can't take my problems on as well as her own. It was really hard to take. We got back together because she couldn't be without me but now she needs space all the time. She gets annoyed at me for asking her about other guys talking to her because people think she's single but I'm such a worrier that I can't get over it.

I'm really worried that if she leaves me for good my mental health will plummet again, I've decided to leave her alone for a couple of days and send her some flowers. It's getting really difficult but I'm really trying to continue to be there for her, even though she seemingly doesn't want my help, just because I'd want someone to do that for me.

Sorry for rambling about something that is probably ultimately ridiculous but thanks for reading if you've got this far. I think I need to ventlol

 

[COYBL25]

Hi lads.

Literally just made this account (strange name and all), after being a long time browser of the forum, mostly for Everton news but I too, like many on this forum, suffer with mental health problems. This thread is absolutely brilliant, heartwarming to see human beings simply help their fellow man.

Before I get started, this will probably end up being long. If you have problems yourself, don't bother reading. I feel almost cheeky speaking on here after reading some of the problems others have had, I don't want to cause somebody to think that all this is a bit pathetic compared to what they're going to as it probably is.

Anyway, I'm 20, lived in Liverpool all my life. Was bullied for a large period of secondary school which led me to take an attempt on my own life, which I now believe was probably a cry for help as I didn't go through with it.

As things didn't change and my self confidence plummeted further, I started to lie about everything. Taught myself to be able to write with my left hand so that it was different to what was actually true in my life, even failed some exams because of it. I was in a mess. Anyway, I left school and have had the odd blip ever since but have gotten an NCTJ Diploma at college, had a couple of part time jobs but my career hasn't really taken off.

The reason I post all this is that it seems ridiculous that I'm having relationship problems now with a girl I've been with since April, my first ever girlfriend. Ridiculous, right?

This girl was who I thought was perfect, we both had problems but we accepted each other for what we are. Except her problems are really, really bad. Mental health issues, rape, miscarriage, leading to alcohol addiction that she's been in rehab for and has been attending therapy sessions for since I've known her.

I've been overly caring. Told her how I feel about her all the time, now I see that that's too much but it's all been born out of a will to help, but ever since I've grown close enough to her to talk about things, she's broken up with me because she can't take my problems on as well as her own. It was really hard to take. We got back together because she couldn't be without me but now she needs space all the time. She gets annoyed at me for asking her about other guys talking to her because people think she's single but I'm such a worrier that I can't get over it.

I'm really worried that if she leaves me for good my mental health will plummet again, I've decided to leave her alone for a couple of days and send her some flowers. It's getting really difficult but I'm really trying to continue to be there for her, even though she seemingly doesn't want my help, just because I'd want someone to do that for me.

Sorry for rambling about something that is probably ultimately ridiculous but thanks for reading if you've got this far. I think I need to ventlol

Hi mate, this going to sound really harsh, so please forgive me

From what you say about your girlfriend, she's not the right person for you to be around.

She's messing with your head and it seems that it's all on her terms.

You're not going to get better whilst you're with her.

Sorry if this offends you mate, it's not in anyway meant to.

It's just way what you've posted reads x

 

[dion]

I've been off work for 3 months with depression but have had a great Summer, lovely holiday and had a totally different relationship with my gorgeous wife. Am supposed to go back to work on Monday, not full time, but I've felt like I'm slipping back to how i was during the last few days. Feeling anxious. Any advice?

 

[COYBL25]

I've been off work for 3 months with depression but have had a great Summer, lovely holiday and had a totally different relationship with my gorgeous wife. Am supposed to go back to work on Monday, not full time, but I've felt like I'm slipping back to how i was during the last few days. Feeling anxious. Any advice?

Did work cause it in the first place ?.

It's only natural to feel apprehension in going back, you've been off for three months. I think anyone who'd been off for that length of time would have some feeling of apprehension.

Maybe go in early on Monday, when it's a bit quieter, so you're already there when your workmates come in. That way youre not coming in an being the centre of attention.

 

[EDINHO1]

That headspace app was recommended before. If you finish the ten free ones you have to pay.
Join up with anxiety uk for £30 for a year and headspace is free. So about half price.

I'm not convinced it will work for me but I like the idea behind it.

 

[dion]

Did work cause it in the first place ?.

It's only natural to feel apprehension in going back, you've been off for three months. I think anyone who'd been off for that length of time would have some feeling of apprehension.

Maybe go in early on Monday, when it's a bit quieter, so you're already there when your workmates come in. That way youre not coming in an being the centre of attention.

Good idea. Been in a couple of times in the three months I've been off. Was the centre of attention. I work in a school so it was staff and kids. Appreciate your suggestion.

 

[EFCPaul]

Today was a bit strange, felt a bit subdued all day and I'm not sure how it came across.

Basically I was called in by my team manager and given my first review. She said I've picked things up quickly and have a good work ethic which have pleased her. She also told me though that she's noticed problems with my customer service skills, that basically I can get flustered easily whilst talking to difficult clients and it comes across. I explained to her that's it just instinctual with me that when someone is shouting at me or being extremely rude that it gets my blood up, even when I'm trying stay calm. I don't like confrontations but feel dragged into them sometimes by my temperament. She said she's going to monitor things and I said I'd try my best to get improve. I requested in future she not try to talk to me whilst I'm on the phone with someone because hearing two voices at once is very stressful.

It depressed me a bit to be fair, she was nice and I meant it when I said I'd work on things but it made me feel so crap, it felt like a gentle telling off and who would enjoy that when you're still fairly new and putting pressure on yourself already? Hopefully tomorrow goes better.

 

[Jokerdan]

Today was a bit strange, felt a bit subdued all day and I'm not sure how it came across.

Basically I was called in by my team manager and given my first review. She said I've picked things up quickly and have a good work ethic which have pleased her. She also told me though that she's noticed problems with my customer service skills, that basically I can get flustered easily whilst talking to difficult clients and it comes across. I explained to her that's it just instinctual with me that when someone is shouting at me or being extremely rude that it gets my blood up, even when I'm trying stay calm. I don't like confrontations but feel dragged into them sometimes by my temperament. She said she's going to monitor things and I said I'd try my best to get improve. I requested in future she not try to talk to me whilst I'm on the phone with someone because hearing two voices at once is very stressful.

It depressed me a bit to be fair, she was nice and I meant it when I said I'd work on things but it made me feel so crap, it felt like a gentle telling off and who would enjoy that when you're still fairly new and putting pressure on yourself already? Hopefully tomorrow goes better.

It will get better once your confidence and security picks up. No one is a natural and any new job can take its toll in the first few months. Once you've settled into the routine and, metaphorically, got your feet under the table then things will come 'naturally' and you will learn to block out any negativity you may get from customers/clients. It is what it is and for every hardball you come across there are more easy ones to field so learn to bask in the glory of those instead of dwelling on the rejects.