Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

EFCPaul said:
Today was a bit strange, felt a bit subdued all day and I'm not sure how it came across.

Basically I was called in by my team manager and given my first review. She said I've picked things up quickly and have a good work ethic which have pleased her. She also told me though that she's noticed problems with my customer service skills, that basically I can get flustered easily whilst talking to difficult clients and it comes across. I explained to her that's it just instinctual with me that when someone is shouting at me or being extremely rude that it gets my blood up, even when I'm trying stay calm. I don't like confrontations but feel dragged into them sometimes by my temperament. She said she's going to monitor things and I said I'd try my best to get improve. I requested in future she not try to talk to me whilst I'm on the phone with someone because hearing two voices at once is very stressful.

It depressed me a bit to be fair, she was nice and I meant it when I said I'd work on things but it made me feel so crap, it felt like a gentle telling off and who would enjoy that when you're still fairly new and putting pressure on yourself already? Hopefully tomorrow goes better.
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Have they given you any training on how to deal with difficult customers? If not ask for it. There are loads of packages available for this.
 
EFCPaul said:
Today was a bit strange, felt a bit subdued all day and I'm not sure how it came across.

Basically I was called in by my team manager and given my first review. She said I've picked things up quickly and have a good work ethic which have pleased her. She also told me though that she's noticed problems with my customer service skills, that basically I can get flustered easily whilst talking to difficult clients and it comes across. I explained to her that's it just instinctual with me that when someone is shouting at me or being extremely rude that it gets my blood up, even when I'm trying stay calm. I don't like confrontations but feel dragged into them sometimes by my temperament. She said she's going to monitor things and I said I'd try my best to get improve. I requested in future she not try to talk to me whilst I'm on the phone with someone because hearing two voices at once is very stressful.

It depressed me a bit to be fair, she was nice and I meant it when I said I'd work on things but it made me feel so crap, it felt like a gentle telling off and who would enjoy that when you're still fairly new and putting pressure on yourself already? Hopefully tomorrow goes better.
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I know it's easier said than done, but don't take a conversation with a stranger on the phone personally. Just go through the motions and take whatever they say to you on the chin, no matter how much of a bell they're being. At the end of the day it doesn't matter what that person is like, they have no baring on your life whatsoever. Just be polite and laugh it off in your head once you put the phone down.
 
Ping the Dragon Wagon said:
Hi lads.

Literally just made this account (strange name and all), after being a long time browser of the forum, mostly for Everton news but I too, like many on this forum, suffer with mental health problems. This thread is absolutely brilliant, heartwarming to see human beings simply help their fellow man.

Before I get started, this will probably end up being long. If you have problems yourself, don't bother reading. I feel almost cheeky speaking on here after reading some of the problems others have had, I don't want to cause somebody to think that all this is a bit pathetic compared to what they're going to as it probably is.

Anyway, I'm 20, lived in Liverpool all my life. Was bullied for a large period of secondary school which led me to take an attempt on my own life, which I now believe was probably a cry for help as I didn't go through with it.

As things didn't change and my self confidence plummeted further, I started to lie about everything. Taught myself to be able to write with my left hand so that it was different to what was actually true in my life, even failed some exams because of it. I was in a mess. Anyway, I left school and have had the odd blip ever since but have gotten an NCTJ Diploma at college, had a couple of part time jobs but my career hasn't really taken off.

The reason I post all this is that it seems ridiculous that I'm having relationship problems now with a girl I've been with since April, my first ever girlfriend. Ridiculous, right?

This girl was who I thought was perfect, we both had problems but we accepted each other for what we are. Except her problems are really, really bad. Mental health issues, rape, miscarriage, leading to alcohol addiction that she's been in rehab for and has been attending therapy sessions for since I've known her.

I've been overly caring. Told her how I feel about her all the time, now I see that that's too much but it's all been born out of a will to help, but ever since I've grown close enough to her to talk about things, she's broken up with me because she can't take my problems on as well as her own. It was really hard to take. We got back together because she couldn't be without me but now she needs space all the time. She gets annoyed at me for asking her about other guys talking to her because people think she's single but I'm such a worrier that I can't get over it.

I'm really worried that if she leaves me for good my mental health will plummet again, I've decided to leave her alone for a couple of days and send her some flowers. It's getting really difficult but I'm really trying to continue to be there for her, even though she seemingly doesn't want my help, just because I'd want someone to do that for me.

Sorry for rambling about something that is probably ultimately ridiculous but thanks for reading if you've got this far. I think I need to ventlol
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Firstly mate there is nothing ridiculous about anything you've said. Mental health problems affect us all in different ways and we are all in this together.

Unfortunately I think you need to give your girlfriend the space she seems to want and focus on yourself.

Have your been to your GP for some help? If not I think you should.

Keep posting mate. You have just as much right to be in this thread as the rest of us.
 
Ping the Dragon Wagon said:
Hi lads.

Literally just made this account (strange name and all), after being a long time browser of the forum, mostly for Everton news but I too, like many on this forum, suffer with mental health problems. This thread is absolutely brilliant, heartwarming to see human beings simply help their fellow man.

Before I get started, this will probably end up being long. If you have problems yourself, don't bother reading. I feel almost cheeky speaking on here after reading some of the problems others have had, I don't want to cause somebody to think that all this is a bit pathetic compared to what they're going to as it probably is.

Anyway, I'm 20, lived in Liverpool all my life. Was bullied for a large period of secondary school which led me to take an attempt on my own life, which I now believe was probably a cry for help as I didn't go through with it.

As things didn't change and my self confidence plummeted further, I started to lie about everything. Taught myself to be able to write with my left hand so that it was different to what was actually true in my life, even failed some exams because of it. I was in a mess. Anyway, I left school and have had the odd blip ever since but have gotten an NCTJ Diploma at college, had a couple of part time jobs but my career hasn't really taken off.

The reason I post all this is that it seems ridiculous that I'm having relationship problems now with a girl I've been with since April, my first ever girlfriend. Ridiculous, right?

This girl was who I thought was perfect, we both had problems but we accepted each other for what we are. Except her problems are really, really bad. Mental health issues, rape, miscarriage, leading to alcohol addiction that she's been in rehab for and has been attending therapy sessions for since I've known her.

I've been overly caring. Told her how I feel about her all the time, now I see that that's too much but it's all been born out of a will to help, but ever since I've grown close enough to her to talk about things, she's broken up with me because she can't take my problems on as well as her own. It was really hard to take. We got back together because she couldn't be without me but now she needs space all the time. She gets annoyed at me for asking her about other guys talking to her because people think she's single but I'm such a worrier that I can't get over it.

I'm really worried that if she leaves me for good my mental health will plummet again, I've decided to leave her alone for a couple of days and send her some flowers. It's getting really difficult but I'm really trying to continue to be there for her, even though she seemingly doesn't want my help, just because I'd want someone to do that for me.

Sorry for rambling about something that is probably ultimately ridiculous but thanks for reading if you've got this far. I think I need to ventlol
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Hey dude, I also lurk this thread for the same reasons and am just going to jump in because a lot of what you are saying I identify with personally. I'm 10 years older but also was bullied a lot growing up and relate to a lot of what you are saying so hopefully you can learn from some of my mistakes.

She's not right for you and prolonging that is only going to make you miserable. It sounds like she has a lot she needs to work out and at least from where I'm sitting a relationship probably isn't in her best interest atm. As for you, you're 20 I know how it feels but someone is going to date you again and if that doesn't work out there will be someone else. Breakups are awful especially when someone isn't dumping you for something you did wrong but trust the sun will come up tomorrow and you'll feel better.
 

EFCPaul said:
Today was a bit strange, felt a bit subdued all day and I'm not sure how it came across.

Basically I was called in by my team manager and given my first review. She said I've picked things up quickly and have a good work ethic which have pleased her. She also told me though that she's noticed problems with my customer service skills, that basically I can get flustered easily whilst talking to difficult clients and it comes across. I explained to her that's it just instinctual with me that when someone is shouting at me or being extremely rude that it gets my blood up, even when I'm trying stay calm. I don't like confrontations but feel dragged into them sometimes by my temperament. She said she's going to monitor things and I said I'd try my best to get improve. I requested in future she not try to talk to me whilst I'm on the phone with someone because hearing two voices at once is very stressful.

It depressed me a bit to be fair, she was nice and I meant it when I said I'd work on things but it made me feel so crap, it felt like a gentle telling off and who would enjoy that when you're still fairly new and putting pressure on yourself already? Hopefully tomorrow goes better.
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Read your last two comments and I am going to be honest, slightly concern me.

From what I can gather, you see to work in a call centre. Don't take this the wrong way but is your persona, which you admit , needs working, on suitable for a customer service role?

I understand these roles are all about customer being right etc and team leaders will do anything to ensure this happens. Is this line of work something that suits you and brings out your strengths?

Don't take offence at this as I am trying to see it from a bigger picture as I have read your updates from a far over last few months and understand how important work is to you both professionally but also personally.

You seem to be on an upward trajectory which is great and just don't want the comments from team manager to impact your success thus far. Equally think need to understand if it's the type of work rather than place which may bring about your demons for want of a better word.

Keep going .
 
Had some time away from everything, re-evaluate things and get a grip.

I sat down with my other half and told her everything about the past what I'd gone through and how I struggled and opened up to her, as hard as it was at least she knows and she would've helped if she'd known before. But I'm too much of a [Poor language removed] to admit when I'm down.

Spent this weekend back at home seeing family and that brought some good things, laying of the ale has helped too, got an appointment with my gp in London tomorrow to get things sorted out and I'm fortunate enough I don't need to sort it with work as I can pick when I go into the office so I'm gonna keep away for a few days until I feel like I'm ready to see everyone.

Just about to have a massive family meal which will be another positive before sitting bored shitless for 5 hours to drive back.

Cheers for the advise so far lads and I'm ready to fight the battle again and come out stronger.
 
dannyr2811 said:
Had some time away from everything, re-evaluate things and get a grip.

I sat down with my other half and told her everything about the past what I'd gone through and how I struggled and opened up to her, as hard as it was at least she knows and she would've helped if she'd known before. But I'm too much of a [Poor language removed] to admit when I'm down.

Spent this weekend back at home seeing family and that brought some good things, laying of the ale has helped too, got an appointment with my gp in London tomorrow to get things sorted out and I'm fortunate enough I don't need to sort it with work as I can pick when I go into the office so I'm gonna keep away for a few days until I feel like I'm ready to see everyone.

Just about to have a massive family meal which will be another positive before sitting bored shitless for 5 hours to drive back.

Cheers for the advise so far lads and I'm ready to fight the battle again and come out stronger.
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Well in mate, it took a lot of strength to do what you did.

Hopefully it felt like a massive load off your shouiders and you can really start to move foward now, but with your missus supporting you too.

Keep posting mate x
 
Soap said:
@GwladysBlue sent me over from my Ale thread.

I loathe Sunday nights. If I know I have to be up early for work, then I get that feeling of dread in pit of stomach.

Anxiety has been through the roof of late.
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Hi mate. Is it work in particular that sets your anxiety off?

Have you been to your GP to seek treatment?

Before doing the job I do now I used to work in sales and hated it. I used to feel sick every morning before I went in. Once I knew I wanted to leave it took me over a year to find something else but changing jobs was one of the best decisions I ever made.
 

efcforever said:
Hi mate. Is it work in particular that sets your anxiety off?

Have you been to your GP to seek treatment?

Before doing the job I do now I used to work in sales and hated it. I used to feel sick every morning before I went in. Once I knew I wanted to leave it took me over a year to find something else but changing jobs was one of the best decisions I ever made.
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Yes mate regularly see doc.

I study at Uni and also work in sales part time. It's horrible.
 
Soap said:
Yes mate regularly see doc.

I study at Uni and also work in sales part time. It's horrible.
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Seems like with sales it either suits you or it doesn't. I knew people that loved it but I absolutely hated it.

Any scope to try something else if it's just to get you through Uni? Probably a daft question. If you had the option to do something else you would I imagine.
 
Soap said:
I couldnt face going in today. Feeling low.
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Don't beat yourself up, you don't deserve it. Today is just a bad day, we all have them and we all have to take necessary steps to get over these blips. Try to relax as much as possible today and just take it easy, watch something on telly and get yourself feeling settled. Hopefully by tonight you'll feel better and ready for tomorrow.

Don't feel as if you're skiving, you're not. Your putting your mental health first and that is always the correct thing to do. If you felt you had it in you to go in you would have, you know it so allow yourself peace of mind. Employers understandably get frustrated when employees call in sick but this isn't a case of you feeling too hungover or because you have somewhere else you'd rather be today. Your taking a day just to get your brain chance to catch up on itself, don't feel bad because it happens to everyone, they just don't admit it.

Hopefully you are alright.
 
EFCPaul said:
Don't beat yourself up, you don't deserve it. Today is just a bad day, we all have them and we all have to take necessary steps to get over these blips. Try to relax as much as possible today and just take it easy, watch something on telly and get yourself feeling settled. Hopefully by tonight you'll feel better and ready for tomorrow.

Don't feel as if you're skiving, you're not. Your putting your mental health first and that is always the correct thing to do. If you felt you had it in you to go in you would have, you know it so allow yourself peace of mind. Employers understandably get frustrated when employees call in sick but this isn't a case of you feeling too hungover or because you have somewhere else you'd rather be today. Your taking a day just to get your brain chance to catch up on itself, don't feel bad because it happens to everyone, they just don't admit it.

Hopefully you are alright.
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Thanks mate! Great advice and you have made me smile for the first time today.

@efcforever

I am looking for something else today, I really can't face cold calling anymore :(
 

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