Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

[EFCPaul]

Haven't posted in here a while, been trying to just buckle down and just take life a day at a time instead of constantly pouring out my thoughts and emotions. Still having the mood swings, fine one minute and down the next. Constantly comparing myself to others and coming up with negative conclusions and finding the future hard to be positive about. It's a horrible mind-set but I just can't seem to shake it off, least not on a consistent basis.

Tonight was supposed to be my work's Christmas night out. I decided not to go and I've been wondering whether it was the right decision. It's a fairly big company and about 50 or so people were supposedly going, a big room in Aintree racecourse was booked with a meal and a disco. Certain members of my work team said they weren't going though, meaning if I had gone I was probably going to get stuck having to mingle with certain people I really don't like and don't have time for. On that basis I decided to swerve it, I didn't want to get stuck in a crappy situation like that.

Without sounding like a right misery guts, I've found that, like a good amount of people, I just don't seem to enjoy the Christmas holidays that much. I felt a dip in my moods around this time before, it's probably because when you're feeling a bit down it's not fun seeing loads of other people feeling merry all around you. Trying to keep a brave face on though and not let anyone see it though.

 

[Bruce Wayne]

Yes mate.

It's tough to stay positive tbh, but I know I have to try. I've got one of the best surgeons in his field looking after me, so that is a positive, but I'm a realist in life and I know the odds are crap, so I'm struggling to see beyond it

Easy for us to say I know, but try and keep strong mate. My other half worked in ICU and people can get through a whole lot, but you gotta believe you can. We'll keep fingers crossed for you.

 

[Bruce Wayne]

Haven't posted in here a while, been trying to just buckle down and just take life a day at a time instead of constantly pouring out my thoughts and emotions. Still having the mood swings, fine one minute and down the next. Constantly comparing myself to others and coming up with negative conclusions and finding the future hard to be positive about. It's a horrible mind-set but I just can't seem to shake it off, least not on a consistent basis.

Tonight was supposed to be my work's Christmas night out. I decided not to go and I've been wondering whether it was the right decision. It's a fairly big company and about 50 or so people were supposedly going, a big room in Aintree racecourse was booked with a meal and a disco. Certain members of my work team said they weren't going though, meaning if I had gone I was probably going to get stuck having to mingle with certain people I really don't like and don't have time for. On that basis I decided to swerve it, I didn't want to get stuck in a crappy situation like that.

Without sounding like a right misery guts, I've found that, like a good amount of people, I just don't seem to enjoy the Christmas holidays that much. I felt a dip in my moods around this time before, it's probably because when you're feeling a bit down it's not fun seeing loads of other people feeling merry all around you. Trying to keep a brave face on though and not let anyone see it though.

It's a bit cheesy mate, but have you seen It's a Wonderful Life? I reckon most people have made a better impact on the lives of others than we like to think sometimes.

Regarding Christmas though, I've found there can be an expectation (if only within ourselves) that Christmas has to be a certain way. You make it what you want to make it. Could you donate at a local shelter or something? That might be therapeutic in its own way and you'd be doing a really good deed.

 

[COYBL25]

Haven't posted in here a while, been trying to just buckle down and just take life a day at a time instead of constantly pouring out my thoughts and emotions. Still having the mood swings, fine one minute and down the next. Constantly comparing myself to others and coming up with negative conclusions and finding the future hard to be positive about. It's a horrible mind-set but I just can't seem to shake it off, least not on a consistent basis.

Tonight was supposed to be my work's Christmas night out. I decided not to go and I've been wondering whether it was the right decision. It's a fairly big company and about 50 or so people were supposedly going, a big room in Aintree racecourse was booked with a meal and a disco. Certain members of my work team said they weren't going though, meaning if I had gone I was probably going to get stuck having to mingle with certain people I really don't like and don't have time for. On that basis I decided to swerve it, I didn't want to get stuck in a crappy situation like that.

Without sounding like a right misery guts, I've found that, like a good amount of people, I just don't seem to enjoy the Christmas holidays that much. I felt a dip in my moods around this time before, it's probably because when you're feeling a bit down it's not fun seeing loads of other people feeling merry all around you. Trying to keep a brave face on though and not let anyone see it though.

For what it`s worth mate, I think you`ve done the right thing by not going.

You`ve recognised that it`s a situation that`s potentially gonna kick your problems off and taken a decision not to go.

It`s called "managing " your condition mate, so give yourself a pat on the back.

Loads feel the same at Christmas too, so don`t beat yourself up about that either .

 

[hallamblue]

Thanks to all for sharing. My mum went for open heart surgery just over a month ago. It seemed to go ok but I was worried as she wasn't eating. They let her onto a ward twice but she has now deteriorated and is in Critical Care on a ventilator. My mum has always been rock hard, and it's tough to see her like this, and to contemplate life without her. My dad is useless, he can't do anything for himself and my sister and I don't live anywhere near so it's a stressful situation. I feel like sharing this because people on this forum are really supportive of each other.

 

[COYBL25]

Thanks to all for sharing. My mum went for open heart surgery just over a month ago. It seemed to go ok but I was worried as she wasn't eating. They let her onto a ward twice but she has now deteriorated and is in Critical Care on a ventilator. My mum has always been rock hard, and it's tough to see her like this, and to contemplate life without her. My dad is useless, he can't do anything for himself and my sister and I don't live anywhere near so it's a stressful situation. I feel like sharing this because people on this forum are really supportive of each other.

Hi mate,

Sorry to hear about your Mum, I suspect a lot of Old Skool relationships are like this I know that my parents are the same and I`ve often thought about how my Dad would manage without my mum. He`s never ever got the shopping in the whole of their marriage and I`ve never known him to cook a meal, that`s just for starters.

A mate of mine has installed cameras that link up to his phone in his elderly Mums house, so he can keep an eye on her. He has power of attorney and has employed a team of carers ( who are exceptional ) to go in a couple of times a day to prepare her meals and make sure she is okay. He phones them if he sees anything that is worrying him. ( he lives miles away too )

It`s not ideal, but maybe something to think about ?

 

[hallamblue]

Hi mate,

Sorry to hear about your Mum, I suspect a lot of Old Skool relationships are like this I know that my parents are the same and I`ve often thought about how my Dad would manage without my mum. He`s never ever got the shopping in the whole of their marriage and I`ve never known him to cook a meal, that`s just for starters.

A mate of mine has installed cameras that link up to his phone in his elderly Mums house, so he can keep an eye on her. He has power of attorney and has employed a team of carers ( who are exceptional ) to go in a couple of times a day to prepare her meals and make sure she is okay. He phones them if he sees anything that is worrying him. ( he lives miles away too )

It`s not ideal, but maybe something to think about ?

Thanks for that, my sister and I are back in Liverpool tomorrow and we have a care company coming round on Tuesday so hopefully we can sort something out for him and hopefully both of them in future.

 

[COYBL25]

Thanks for that, my sister and I are back in Liverpool tomorrow and we have a care company coming round on Tuesday so hopefully we can sort something out for him and hopefully both of them in future.

Do your homework on the carers mate, go with your instincts.

My mate had to speak to a few before he found right ones.

He lives in East Yorks and his mum is on the Wirral, so its hard for him to drop everything and get round there.

The carers have been superb and have taken a big weight off him.

 

[BiggyRat]

Thanks to all for sharing. My mum went for open heart surgery just over a month ago. It seemed to go ok but I was worried as she wasn't eating. They let her onto a ward twice but she has now deteriorated and is in Critical Care on a ventilator. My mum has always been rock hard, and it's tough to see her like this, and to contemplate life without her. My dad is useless, he can't do anything for himself and my sister and I don't live anywhere near so it's a stressful situation. I feel like sharing this because people on this forum are really supportive of each other.

The thread is whatever you need it to be.

I lost my Mum a couple of years back now. Different circumstances but she was a tough Scouser that rarely complained. Hitler threw his worst at the City & she came through it. My Grandad often told her & the others that there were families in worse shape so stop with the whining. It stayed with her all through her life & was actually detrimental to her health in later years, because she wouldn't complain.

Doctors could've brought her back but her quality of life would've been rubbish & she'd have been consigned to a Nursing hom. That was something she was adamant about avoiding so, we let her go.

I don't know your Mums generation, but they were made of sterner stuff back then. Care for your Dad mate & look after your Mum as best you can. I'm sure she'd be happy if you were taking care of him for her though.

 

[hallamblue]

The thread is whatever you need it to be.

I lost my Mum a couple of years back now. Different circumstances but she was a tough Scouser that rarely complained. Hitler threw his worst at the City & she came through it. My Grandad often told her & the others that there were families in worse shape so stop with the whining. It stayed with her all through her life & was actually detrimental to her health in later years, because she wouldn't complain.

Doctors could've brought her back but her quality of life would've been rubbish & she'd have been consigned to a Nursing hom. That was something she was adamant about avoiding so, we let her go.

I don't know your Mums generation, but they were made of sterner stuff back then. Care for your Dad mate & look after your Mum as best you can. I'm sure she'd be happy if you were taking care of him for her though.

My mum is an active 75 year old. I know what you mean about quality of life. She always says she would rather be shot than go into a home. I'm just hoping she can get through this.

 

[BiggyRat]

My mum is an active 75 year old. I know what you mean about quality of life. She always says she would rather be shot than go into a home. I'm just hoping she can get through this.

A mere Spring Chicken! I hope she pulls through because there's still plenty of living to be done at 75!

 

[davids]

Haven't posted in here a while, been trying to just buckle down and just take life a day at a time instead of constantly pouring out my thoughts and emotions. Still having the mood swings, fine one minute and down the next. Constantly comparing myself to others and coming up with negative conclusions and finding the future hard to be positive about. It's a horrible mind-set but I just can't seem to shake it off, least not on a consistent basis.

Tonight was supposed to be my work's Christmas night out. I decided not to go and I've been wondering whether it was the right decision. It's a fairly big company and about 50 or so people were supposedly going, a big room in Aintree racecourse was booked with a meal and a disco. Certain members of my work team said they weren't going though, meaning if I had gone I was probably going to get stuck having to mingle with certain people I really don't like and don't have time for. On that basis I decided to swerve it, I didn't want to get stuck in a crappy situation like that.

Without sounding like a right misery guts, I've found that, like a good amount of people, I just don't seem to enjoy the Christmas holidays that much. I felt a dip in my moods around this time before, it's probably because when you're feeling a bit down it's not fun seeing loads of other people feeling merry all around you. Trying to keep a brave face on though and not let anyone see it though.

Your not alone,Xmas for many has lost any real meaning and has just become an excercise in commercialism.Makes me sad to think how many get into the hands of the payday loan companies with unsupportable debt,just so their children can keep up with the latest trend in mobile phone-games console...

 

[Groucho]

Your not alone,Xmas for many has lost any real meaning and has just become an excercise in commercialism.Makes me sad to think how many get into the hands of the payday loan companies with unsupportable debt,just so their children can keep up with the latest trend in mobile phone-games console...

It really isn’t worth getting into debt over.

I don’t mind xmas. But I do mind people plunging themselves into difficulty in order to compete with others.

 

[DualityNSNO]

I've had my world turned upside down.

Just over 3 weeks ago, on Sunday night I was going to bed and I got a sharp pain in my groin area, didn't feel good and when I went to the toilet I passed some blood. So we went straight to A&E. I'd been perfectly healthy before this, no symptoms of anything, I'm in my late 40's.

The Dr in A&E suspected kidney stones so sent me for a scan.....fast forward 2 hours and I'm being told I've got a very large kidney tumour and I was being admitted. My World collapsed the minute I heard the word.

A week later and they removed the kidney, which was so large it had to be done by open surgery. It looks like it's already spread though, and I now face a 6 week wait until I can have another scan. So I'm laid up in pain after major surgery and my head is all over the place. I've already written myself off I think. Broken, just broken.

Terrible to read this...

Stay positive FHLD, I know people have probably told you this and you're finding it hard, but try! Your Blue family is always with you at least

 

[DualityNSNO]

It really isn’t worth getting into debt over.

I don’t mind xmas. But I do mind people plunging themselves into difficulty in order to compete with others.

I'm happy that both at mine and my SO's house it's the good old traditional way - have a massive meal with family - not about pressies and crap.

It's a good way to celebrate imo. Maybe a small gift but "from the heart" as they say (or a gift in a bottle ) is massively better than some crap you're gonna use once or something you know is overpriced and you're putting people you care about in a financial pickle over...