Fletch
Player Valuation: £5m
Haven't posted in here a while, been trying to just buckle down and just take life a day at a time instead of constantly pouring out my thoughts and emotions. Still having the mood swings, fine one minute and down the next. Constantly comparing myself to others and coming up with negative conclusions and finding the future hard to be positive about. It's a horrible mind-set but I just can't seem to shake it off, least not on a consistent basis.
Tonight was supposed to be my work's Christmas night out. I decided not to go and I've been wondering whether it was the right decision. It's a fairly big company and about 50 or so people were supposedly going, a big room in Aintree racecourse was booked with a meal and a disco. Certain members of my work team said they weren't going though, meaning if I had gone I was probably going to get stuck having to mingle with certain people I really don't like and don't have time for. On that basis I decided to swerve it, I didn't want to get stuck in a crappy situation like that.
Without sounding like a right misery guts, I've found that, like a good amount of people, I just don't seem to enjoy the Christmas holidays that much. I felt a dip in my moods around this time before, it's probably because when you're feeling a bit down it's not fun seeing loads of other people feeling merry all around you. Trying to keep a brave face on though and not let anyone see it though.
I know how you feel exactly, I went to mine on Saturday but felt I should, I drove and then disappeared as people started getting very drunk and had a nice buffet !
I'm spending Christmas on my own, not actually that worried about it, I finish work 18th and go back 2nd January so looking at somewhere to fly to maybe over Christmas, maybe something different, something worthwhile spending the credit card on, Goa, Thailand or similar ?