Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

[Toffee-nerd]

i rarely drink now but your NYE experience has been a regular part of my life for nearly 20 years . Because I don’t drink often now i only lose control on the booze maybe 3 times a year but it used to be a LOT more . My issue is I drink too quick and can put away a lot and mean a lot of beer and shorts quick which is a disaster . I do it because I’m uncomfortable in social situations but it just makes me depressed for a week after . I avoid it as much as possible now but as I say I still mess up when I don’t expect too . Some of the cocks ups ive made on the ale make me cringe but they’re in the past , though that doesn’t make it easy in the days straight after the incidents

I realise having discipline on the drink is so hard especially if you have a mental illness Because someone mentally unwell already has a chemical imbalance due to meds and the illness itself so ale just exacerbates everything.

My answer is to avoid social situations but by doing that it’s not healthy I’m itself to isolate myself .

Good luck . I’ll stop waffling a load of nonsense now

That makes perfect sense to me, sounds like the exact same situation as me. It's going to be hard to not drink in social situations because it is so ingrained in Society. It's just part of it. That's my plan though, I don't want to not socialise and stop attending events completely as like you say, I'll become isolated and it's not good for other aspects of my mental health. There's no reason I can't go teetotal, I've just got to be disciplined with it and if I'm open about it to others then hopefully they will understand why I don't want to drink and won't put pressure on me to drink. If they do then I will just have to avoid those situations. Going for a completely dry 2018.

 

[FC sexy xxx]

That makes perfect sense to me, sounds like the exact same situation as me. It's going to be hard to not drink in social situations because it is so ingrained in Society. It's just part of it. That's my plan though, I don't want to not socialise and stop attending events completely as like you say, I'll become isolated and it's not good for other aspects of my mental health. There's no reason I can't go teetotal, I've just got to be disciplined with it and if I'm open about it to others then hopefully they will understand why I don't want to drink and won't put pressure on me to drink. If they do then I will just have to avoid those situations. Going for a completely dry 2018.

good luck mate .
The only way I half trust myself is if I have a few indoors or a quiet pint in midweek in town now and then . But even upto a couple of years ago I’d still lose control in them situations but now I know when to stop .

I just know when I’m around mates and even family at the game , or a night out or party I dont feel comfortable so I compensate by shoving a nights worth of booze down me in a couple of hours . I know I can’t do it so sadly 99 times out of 100 I don’t . I’m like an anxious wreck with low self esteem in them situations these days

I’m gutted by it but that’s the way it is for me . Sad but true .

Hopefully you’ll succeed better than me .


All the best .

 

[cronullasharks]

That makes perfect sense to me, sounds like the exact same situation as me. It's going to be hard to not drink in social situations because it is so ingrained in Society. It's just part of it. That's my plan though, I don't want to not socialise and stop attending events completely as like you say, I'll become isolated and it's not good for other aspects of my mental health. There's no reason I can't go teetotal, I've just got to be disciplined with it and if I'm open about it to others then hopefully they will understand why I don't want to drink and won't put pressure on me to drink. If they do then I will just have to avoid those situations. Going for a completely dry 2018.

I stopped drinking about 12 months ago for similar reasons, a few beers would turn into a massive bender than just days of anxiousness wondering who I'd mouthed off at when deep down i knew i hadn't. The anxiety does your head in trying to make you think the worst.

Back at work today and hearing how hungover everyone was new years day and how much they threw up etc makes me wonder why i ever drank in the first place.

Save a bit of coin too, particularly with the cost of drinking spirits when out.

 

[Toffee-nerd]

I stopped drinking about 12 months ago for similar reasons, a few beers would turn into a massive bender than just days of anxiousness wondering who I'd mouthed off at when deep down i knew i hadn't. The anxiety does your head in trying to make you think the worst.

Back at work today and hearing how hungover everyone was new years day and how much they threw up etc makes me wonder why i ever drank in the first place.

Save a bit of coin too, particularly with the cost of drinking spirits when out.

Yeah it's the anxiousness after where you just don't know what you've done. It's horrible. Do you avoid social situations that are likely to involve drinking or do you just stick to soda drinks? Yeah a night out in aus is $200 for me. It's a complete no brainer. I'm feeling better about it today, had a good talk with the missus last night and feel like this is a turning point for me so trying to see it in a positive light.

 

[cronullasharks]

Yeah it's the anxiousness after where you just don't know what you've done. It's horrible. Do you avoid social situations that are likely to involve drinking or do you just stick to soda drinks? Yeah a night out in aus is $200 for me. It's a complete no brainer. I'm feeling better about it today, had a good talk with the missus last night and feel like this is a turning point for me so trying to see it in a positive light.

That's good that you're feeling better.

Don't avoid social situations too much anymore, never been one to drink at rugby league games or days at the cricket much anyway so that's not affected. Just drink coke at the pub, love a punt on the horses saturday afternoons so at least i can attempt to pick a winner with a clear head lol.

It honestly hasn't had any negative impact on life at all.

 

[COYBL25]

Yeah it's the anxiousness after where you just don't know what you've done. It's horrible. Do you avoid social situations that are likely to involve drinking or do you just stick to soda drinks? Yeah a night out in aus is $200 for me. It's a complete no brainer. I'm feeling better about it today, had a good talk with the missus last night and feel like this is a turning point for me so trying to see it in a positive light.

Sounds silly, but have you tried drinking slower, which in turn means drinking less.

Sorry if I'm going over old ground, but the way I cope in social situations like you've described, is camouflaging how much I'm drinking.

After about four drinks no one around you is bothered what you're drinking anyway, so that's when you slow down. Make your pint last longer, order a lemonade etc , when it's your round and tell them all it's vodka or a JD and coke.

There are ways of getting around it mate, but it takes time.

Once you've got the hang of it becomes quite easy and you can still have a good time.

Also once people get used to you saying no, they leave you alone and accept that you aren't going to get caned like them.

It's all about changing your habits and being disciplined.

My absolute limit is six pints. Anymore than that and I'm crippled by " the fear " the following day.

As others have said, it saves you a fortunder too.

 

[Toffee-nerd]

Sounds silly, but have you tried drinking slower, which in turn means drinking less.

Sorry if I'm going over old ground, but the way I cope in social situations like you've described, is camouflaging how much I'm drinking.

After about four drinks no one around you is bothered what you're drinking anyway, so that's when you slow down. Make your pint last longer, order a lemonade etc , when it's your round and tell them all it's vodka or a JD and coke.

There are ways of getting around it mate, but it takes time.

Once you've got the hang of it becomes quite easy and you can still have a good time.

Also once people get used to you saying no, they leave you alone and accept that you aren't going to get caned like them.

It's all about changing your habits and being disciplined.

My absolute limit is six pints. Anymore than that and I'm crippled by " the fear " the following day.

As others have said, it saves you a fortunder too.

Yeah I've tried but I just get carried away with it so I'd rather just exclude the possibility of that happening by just not drinking at all. It's no good for the anxiety anyway as now it feels like its all people are talking about. I've got a family do tonight that I have to go to and I know nye will be brought up so I'll just have to get through those conversations but the thought of it is pretty bad and making me anxious. Nothing less than I deserve though.

 

[Toffee-nerd]

It's good to know people have similar experiences to me with drink. Thanks for all your responses they have really helped me these last 24 hours or so. I guess wanting to change has to come from something meaningful otherwise it's easy to fall back into old habits. Losing the life I've built with my partner is the biggest motivation I could ever need and as long as I keep that in mind then this can only be a positive thing.

 

[Billy Dean]

Yeah I've tried but I just get carried away with it so I'd rather just exclude the possibility of that happening by just not drinking at all. It's no good for the anxiety anyway as now it feels like its all people are talking about. I've got a family do tonight that I have to go to and I know nye will be brought up so I'll just have to get through those conversations but the thought of it is pretty bad and making me anxious. Nothing less than I deserve though.

Going teetotal for a while deffo helped me mate. I used to binge heavily as a result of social anxiety, i.e. not feeling comfortable in party situations as I'm an introvert etc. Going teetotal helped me to learn to deal with those situations without falling back on booze. After a few years of being teetotal I felt confident enough that I could start drinking again and since then my relationship to booze has changed a lot. I don't rely on it any more. It's just something to enjoy when out with mates etc. And as mentioned before the times when I drink more than usual are when I feel particularly uncomfortable about something. But even then it's still much more tame than it used to be.

 

[blue to the bone]

Have posted here how I'm struggling with things and feel down a lot..
Been thinking maybe I need to change my life or give myself a challenge. Considering goin back to college. Now I'm 38 so this might sound a bit mad. I work in a humdrum of a job. It pays the bills but that's about it.
Now I'm wondering if this is a a good idea or would it just cause more problems and stress

 

[SiEdmo]

Have posted here how I'm struggling with things and feel down a lot..
Been thinking maybe I need to change my life or give myself a challenge. Considering goin back to college. Now I'm 38 so this might sound a bit mad. I work in a humdrum of a job. It pays the bills but that's about it.
Now I'm wondering if this is a a good idea or would it just cause more problems and stress

just popped in here to post myself, but thought id respond to you first as you sound a bit like me in some situations

do you feel like your in a rut? repetition getting you down as well as other stuff? then doing something to not so much distract your mind but stimulate it may be exactly what your looking for

maybe a college course may be a bit big of a commitment, especially if your not sure what you want to do, maybe start with trying to take up a new hobby? seems a bit childish but building models (planes trains boats whatever really) can really set your mind on a task, and it doesn't take too long, maybe a few quick wins like that could help you feel a sense of achievement and then onto the next thing?

 

[COYBL25]

Have posted here how I'm struggling with things and feel down a lot..
Been thinking maybe I need to change my life or give myself a challenge. Considering goin back to college. Now I'm 38 so this might sound a bit mad. I work in a humdrum of a job. It pays the bills but that's about it.
Now I'm wondering if this is a a good idea or would it just cause more problems and stress

I think a lot of people start to feel like you do once they hit a certain age - " where is my life going ".

Have you thought about night school or even Open University - would negate the financial struggle of full time college ?

 

[SiEdmo]

Just thought id pop in to see whats going on as im having a really bad time of it myself at the minute, managed to get a hold on my depression/anger/stuck in a rut feeling, but we have a baby on the way, and im really worried that my head is going to mess me up and I wont care about the baby

when I found out we were expecting again (we lost one the first time) I have not been anything but hesitant to get excited for fear of it going wrong, now she is going on 6 months pregnant, I can finally start to think about it going right and having a new addition soon, but now as I said, I have irrational thoughts that im not going to bond/care about him

ive made an appointment at the docs (second time ive ever seeked professional help) and really hope I don't get palmed off with some internet PDF self help guides like last time

anyone else had anything similar go on?

 

[blue to the bone]

I think a lot of people start to feel like you do once they hit a certain age - " where is my life going ".

Have you thought about night school or even Open University - would negate the financial struggle of full time college ?

I'd get a back to education allowance here in Ireland which would go most of the way towards the cost. The financial side of it would not really be a factor in me not Doin it.. It's the other stuff

 

[COYBL25]

I'd get a back to education allowance here in Ireland which would go most of the way towards the cost. The financial side of it would not really be a factor in me not Doin it.. It's the other stuff

I think only you can answer that mate.

Do you want to be sat there later on in life and be saying " if only " or just accept the way things are and get on with it.